Stopharage

Judging by his shooting prowess, if we had a deal to Saudi sorted he’d miss the flight.

Manor Solomon after Dewsbury-Hall, who's next Downtown Abbey?

My mate Faras works for the Marrakesh Express and said that Bilal loves the Clock Tower too much to trade it in for the Crystal Palace Transmission Tower. Edit - Silly me, turns out that the Marrakesh Express isn’t a newspaper so he’s clearly no ITK journo and also explains why he kept trying to sell me weed. Mods, please delete.

I hope to god we don't sign him otherwise I'll have to endure constant reminders of Surpise, Surprise and how a Cillagram ruined my childhood when my old man received one. Got terrorised at school for about a year as a result. Would be less painful to give Daka a 5 year extension and have to watch that.

I’m convinced he’s the anti-Samson, he cuts his awful haircut he’ll turn into a world class talent. He looks like Viz’s Mr Logic.

That article says we’re not allowed to spend under the current PSR restrictions. Doesn’t read as a self-imposed measure.

Judging by his mobility and athleticism it's fair to say that Skipp is the living embodiment of nominative determinism.

I know loads of people on here are gunning for Winks, but we're screwed in midfield without him. If I had to play with half of this rabble I'd be sulking.

Whoever we get in as Striker is going to have the weight of the club on their shoulders, so we’d better sign bloody Atlas.

This news is very much a Turkish Delight.

I’m not convinced this is a good move. If we get him in there’s far less chance of Daka cheering up my futile existence by air-kicking the football and giving me one little crumb of mirth.

Praise be, it really is National Sign a Shit player day.

Jonathan Rowe on loan from Marseille - just been transfer listed after a bust-up with Adrien Rabiot.

AKA a Vestergaard sprint.

Winks has clearly been our most talented CM since he’s been here. Last year he was played in systems that didn’t play to his strengths and you had people on here castigating the guy as if he should be playing in the National league. He’s a player that brings the very best out of his teammates when utilised properly.

It's not a collar, it''s an arrow designed to remind Daka where the ball is located.

Yep, he eats his KitKats like a wrong ‘un.

Not according to their website. Think it was suggested after their Europa League exit but he’s still there.

Fake News. He’s still manager.

Earlier in the transfer window we were linked with Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who is at Besiktas. Let’s hope Rudkin doesn’t have a brain fart whilst trying to complete this deal by suggesting a swap 😬

That fee was agreed before he went on loan last year and a compulsory purchase was triggered when he made the requisite number of games. Based on his potential and the competition for him it probably seemed like a good deal; based on his performances it definitely wasn’t.

Judging by the state of the club at the moment, I’m guessing they’re trying to broker a deal with Klarna to be the new shirt sponsor.

As much as I can't stand Faes, I wouldn't be averse to playing him as a DM with Nelson/Okoli/Souttar as our CB options. As a last line of defence he's an absolute bombscare but he does look pretty decent when bringing the ball out of defence.

Any chance Wrexham need a new DoF?

West Ham are monitoring Sheffield United’s Michael Cooper, who I’d say is a better keeper than Hermansen, so he may end up staying with us.