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Pinkman

Depression

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New year. Same old feelings. Just about over Covid but feel so low and fed up. I don’t know how I’ve had the will power to get through the last year to be honest and I really don’t know if I’ll see out this one. Nothing to look forward too even. Don’t see the point in going on myself. Only try and stay alive for my family nowadays.

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1 hour ago, chrishlcfc said:

New year. Same old feelings. Just about over Covid but feel so low and fed up. I don’t know how I’ve had the will power to get through the last year to be honest and I really don’t know if I’ll see out this one. Nothing to look forward too even. Don’t see the point in going on myself. Only try and stay alive for my family nowadays.

Hey mate, I don't know your situation but It's been a very tough time due to the pandemic (which hasn't helped those who were already struggling). Think we are all bloody tired of it but i truly feel we are all here for a reason (outside of just work or providing etc). At times that reason might not seem so clear but keep believing in better days ahead to come and i am positive you will feel that you want to stay alive for yourself :)

 

I know that is a typical response however even I find value in strangers who are not shy to share their feelings. Takes a real strong person to speak your feelings out (forum or not).  

 

Now, i can't promise you a reach around but i might be able to score you an inflatable dinosaur via my "sources" lol.

 

Keep your head up, i care and others on this thread do that you love yourself. I will fuk off now and let those with better words reply. :)

 

 

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Never posted here before but followed it for years. I have failed to manage mental health problems for years now and have truly messed up my life over the past few years. I've absolutely shattered most relationships I have, caught myself on a constant plateau of underachievement first academically and now in work, and have spent my way through thousands and thousands of pounds and into quite large debts through attempted escapism. I'm 30 this year and for the first time I can't see a way out of it. 

 

Will try to get help, again, but never seem to have the strength to follow it through. I feel for everyone else who is suffering, particularly at this time of year.

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38 minutes ago, bmt said:

Never posted here before but followed it for years. I have failed to manage mental health problems for years now and have truly messed up my life over the past few years. I've absolutely shattered most relationships I have, caught myself on a constant plateau of underachievement first academically and now in work, and have spent my way through thousands and thousands of pounds and into quite large debts through attempted escapism. I'm 30 this year and for the first time I can't see a way out of it. 

 

Will try to get help, again, but never seem to have the strength to follow it through. I feel for everyone else who is suffering, particularly at this time of year.

There is always a way - you just have to take a step, and maybe this is the first one. Keep on keeping on.

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All the best to everyone suffering at the moment. It is the worst feeling I've known and a real struggle to escape.

 

Just want to say thanks to those that are in this thread purely to offer words of comfort and advice. It is really appreciated.

 

I feel slightly guilty that when I am on a positive wave I rarely visit this thread, more for self preservation than anything else as I don't want to be reminded of how I felt previously. I was at probably my lowest ebb last May and had typed out a farewell note on my phone. Didn't really have a plan on what I was going to do but I'd had enough. 

 

Probably sounds stupid but the thought of seeing us in a Cup Final kept me going for a few weeks and the high from that gave me some positive momentum which has carried on, minus one or two blips and I finally deleted that note from my phone a few weeks back.

 

Feeling a bit low again tonight but probably just the post-Christmas, back to work comedown so hopefully will keep on a positive mood.

 

Once again all the best to those suffering and thanks to those that listen.

Edited by Rain King
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1 minute ago, Rain King said:

All the best to everyone suffering at the moment. It is the worst feeling I've known and a real struggle to escape.

 

Just want to say thanks to those that are in this thread purely to offer words of comfort and advice. It is really appreciated.

 

I feel slightly guilty that when I am on a positive wave I rarely visit this thread, more for self preservation than anything else as I don't want to be reminded of how I felt previously. I was at probably my lowest ebb last May and had typed out a farewell note on my phone. Didn't really have a plan on what I was going to do but I'd had enough. 

 

Probably sounds stupid but the thought of seeing us in a Cup Final kept me going for a few weeks and the high from that gave me some positive momentum which has carried on, minus one or two blips and I finally deleted that note from my phone a few weeks back.

 

Feeling a bit low again tonight but probably just the post-Christmas, back to work comedown so hopefully will keep on a positive mood.

 

Once again all the best to those suffering and thanks to those that listen.

I do the same often - it is vital to not leave one's self short of resources, and it is just as vital not to apologise for looking after yourself either.

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1 hour ago, pmcla26 said:

My old man has Covid meaning isolation 4 the household. Has meant more time alone for me and my thoughts.

 

I wish I wasn’t so dependant on staying busy in order to not be sad or be pondering the past. 

 

I'm pretty sure you no longer need to self-isolate if you live with someone who has tested positive for Covid.

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55 minutes ago, pmcla26 said:

I don’t understand why throughout my teenage life I’ve always been depressed. I’m 19 years old ffs. Why does it feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders? Why do I have problems with alcohol and other dependencies? Why do I hurt thinking about my ex and hold on to memories that mean nothing anymore? Why do I struggle to sleep, and when I do, why do I keep having these nightmares? Why do I constantly beat myself up for mistakes I make? Why do I have random panic attacks for no obvious reason? 
 

I try doing good things like work, exercise and socialise but just end up back in the same hole, feeling lonely. 
 

I wish I never took any time off from work for Xmas because it’s just meant I’ve gone off of my usual routine, allowed my thoughts to take over and dismantled it. I’m beating myself up for it now. 
 

I just feel like I need to vent because it’s screwing my head up just being locked up in there. It’s amazing how your mind can be ur own worst enemy. 

Age is but a number - I was in front of a shrink aged 10.

 

Don't beat yourself up for who or why you are as you are - try to deal with what is. Accept the things you cannot change and courage to change the things you can. :) 

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14 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

There is always a way - you just have to take a step, and maybe this is the first one. Keep on keeping on.

Thanks mate. I've taken the first step many times with differing levels of success. Hopefully this year can take the next few.

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Going back to work tomorrow for the 1st time since before Christmas due to Covid and I’m absolutely dreading it.
 

I don’t know why because I’ve not been there long and I’ve enjoyed it but I’m really panicking about going back. In a right state tonight because of it and I probably won’t sleep now. 

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19 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Going back to work tomorrow for the 1st time since before Christmas due to Covid and I’m absolutely dreading it.
 

I don’t know why because I’ve not been there long and I’ve enjoyed it but I’m really panicking about going back. In a right state tonight because of it and I probably won’t sleep now. 

Hey positive thoughts my friend. Like you’ve said you’ve enjoyed it so far so think of it as a positive. Surely it’s good to be getting things back to normal after isolating and being away from people due to Covid.

 

Everything will be fine bud :thumbup:

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22 minutes ago, buzzer_b said:

Hey positive thoughts my friend. Like you’ve said you’ve enjoyed it so far so think of it as a positive. Surely it’s good to be getting things back to normal after isolating and being away from people due to Covid.

 

Everything will be fine bud :thumbup:


Thanks, I’m trying but really really struggling right now. Not sure what my normal is, I just like to be on my own to be honest, but appreciate I need to be working. 

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38 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:


Thanks, I’m trying but really really struggling right now. Not sure what my normal is, I just like to be on my own to be honest, but appreciate I need to be working. 

Maybe you need to hook up with a close friend or a family member? Go for a drink or a sociable meal, open up to somebody.

 

Don’t be afraid to talk to someone or admit you have an issue. I understand what you mean by alone time but sometimes having somebody with you to talk to really helps the mind.

 

I hope you find a solution. This is a safe place here, you can open up to everyone and we can all help each other out when needed.

 

Stay safe x

Edited by buzzer_b
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On 05/01/2022 at 23:32, chrishlcfc said:


Thanks, I’m trying but really really struggling right now. Not sure what my normal is, I just like to be on my own to be honest, but appreciate I need to be working. 

Sometimes, especially with male friends, it needs to be activity driven .i.e. Playing computer games, watching a movie etc to have a bit of company and a chat.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ever since I've come back to work after the festive break, for some reason I keep getting brain fog. I get coming back after the holidays can take a few days initially but for this still to be happening now. Especially over trivial things I was well accustomed to only a few weeks ago.

 

Not sure whether it's due to fatigue (even though I've just had a break) or stress, I'm really not sure and can't quite put my finger on it. It's quite embarrassing though especially in the middle of a work meeting when you're trying to remember what you've done. It just makes the feeling worse.

 

Will have to try and monitor it over the next few weeks I guess, make time for some mindfulness. Just hope it's nothing more than that

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Literally had my best day in months today. Just did a few things I enjoy and then the football came and kicked me in the bollocks again.

 

I can take losing but not like that. Put me in such a bad mood after feeling good. There’s always something that comes along to knock you down again. 

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