Depression

[ajthefox]

It is bloody hard work to try and be positive at the moment isn't it.

It doesn't matter who you are, and what is going on in your life, this is just a really tough time to be a live I think. We've just come out of the most significant worldwide disease in what, 100 years? And now we're all sat here, fairly powerless, watching some madman destroy a country. You read about it, you see death and you think about how sh!t it is, and you feel like you should be grateful for everything that you have because as close as it is to us, we are still quite detached from it and are, living in the UK, pretty lucky.

 

But then you stop reading the news. And you stop watching the clips. And you try and go about your day and enjoy yourself in the moment, because short of halting your life to join the Ukrainian alliance or go and help refugees in Poland, how much can you do? And what happens to your family or your friends in the meantime? 

 

Before you know it, you're filling the car up and are aghast at the price of a tank. Or you're at home and the heating is on, and after yo see what your energy bill is going to be next month you think sh!t, maybe I should turn it off, and that you probably need to cut back on stuff. Suddenly you are reminded of the war, and that other thing called climate change and what is happening to the planet, and you feel like a selfish, ungrateful bastard. 

 

And all of this, is on top of all of those daily struggles. The difficult relationships, the work stress, the older family members, the kids. And I've not even mentioned the reason we're all on this board.

 

Fvck me. Life is hard. Hold on to the little wins and take care of each other.

[BenTheFox]

Yeah, I should probably cut down on drinking. 

Edited 14 March 2022 by BenTheFox

[HybridFox]

Started falling behind with work in recent weeks. It's as if my brain isn't quite with it. I can't tell if it's genuinely taking me this long to process things or I'm struggling to make headspace with other things on my mind. 

 

Worst thing is I know it's happening and I'm letting it happen. Then spend time regretting that I let it happen.

 

[leicsmac]

4 hours ago, ajthefox said:

It is bloody hard work to try and be positive at the moment isn't it.

It doesn't matter who you are, and what is going on in your life, this is just a really tough time to be a live I think. We've just come out of the most significant worldwide disease in what, 100 years? And now we're all sat here, fairly powerless, watching some madman destroy a country. You read about it, you see death and you think about how sh!t it is, and you feel like you should be grateful for everything that you have because as close as it is to us, we are still quite detached from it and are, living in the UK, pretty lucky.

 

But then you stop reading the news. And you stop watching the clips. And you try and go about your day and enjoy yourself in the moment, because short of halting your life to join the Ukrainian alliance or go and help refugees in Poland, how much can you do? And what happens to your family or your friends in the meantime? 

 

Before you know it, you're filling the car up and are aghast at the price of a tank. Or you're at home and the heating is on, and after yo see what your energy bill is going to be next month you think sh!t, maybe I should turn it off, and that you probably need to cut back on stuff. Suddenly you are reminded of the war, and that other thing called climate change and what is happening to the planet, and you feel like a selfish, ungrateful bastard. 

 

And all of this, is on top of all of those daily struggles. The difficult relationships, the work stress, the older family members, the kids. And I've not even mentioned the reason we're all on this board.

 

Fvck me. Life is hard. Hold on to the little wins and take care of each other.

And the feeling of powerlessness makes it a hundred times worse. For me, anyway.

 

But yes, the bolded is important.

 

"Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay."

[ajthefox]

17 hours ago, leicsmac said:

And the feeling of powerlessness makes it a hundred times worse. For me, anyway.

 

But yes, the bolded is important.

 

"Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay."

Completely agree. Quite often the littlest thing can make a big difference.

[spacemunky]

22 hours ago, BenTheFox said:

Yeah, I should probably cut down on drinking. 

Same for me.

 

It's something I've had a good control at points in my life, but not of late.

 

I don't want to blame anyone but myself, but it is tough when the family and friends you see every day are all drinkers.

 

I know it isn't helping with my depression or my anxiety, but that temporary escape keeps reeling me in.

[ian__marshall]

On 12/03/2022 at 21:23, chrishlcfc said:

Bit scared right now. I’ve never struggled like this or for as long as this. It’s been over a week now. I didn’t work at all last week.

 

Im genuinely thinking about checking in to some sort of rehab clinic or mental health hospital. I don’t feel I can go on like this.

 

Obviously I really don’t want to have to section myself or anything like that particularly, does anyone have any ideas what I can do.

 

I don’t really feel the doctors are supporting me enough to be honest, all they do is just up my medication but that just has not and does not seem to work.

 

My thoughts are so bad that I have been in physical pain with my head all week. I just can’t take it anymore.

 

This would be a huge step to take as my dad and most of my family don’t even know how much I’m struggling and I don’t feel I can speak so I just suffer in silence apart from speaking to friends.

Hey pal hang in there. It's not a nice place where you are right now but believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know what your personal circumstances are but if you can afford it I'd get a referral to a private Clinical Psychologist. If you go privately you should get an appointment pretty quickly and avoid the need to have to jump through all the hoops a GP will request of you. It's not cheap but from personal experience it's an absolute game changer and will really challenge your thinking about how you perceive the world and certain situations you are facing whilst providing you with coping strategies to help manage yourself better in order to prevent things spiralling out of control. 

 

Another really useful tool that I've added to my armoury is the use of mindfulness. There's loads of good sources available at relatively low cost. 'Headspace' is very good in my opinion and is available via Netflix if you're a subscriber. Alternatively a relatively low cost option (and the one I use most) is 'Buddhify'. I personally found mindfulness very helpful as a quick fix to calm me down whilst I sought support through other channels. 

 

I'm sure there are many other very useful tools that I've neither experienced nor discovered but I wish you well on your journey and I'm sure that with the right support you'll emerge from this difficult period and return to relative normality. Good luck!

[ian__marshall]

23 hours ago, ajthefox said:

It is bloody hard work to try and be positive at the moment isn't it.

It doesn't matter who you are, and what is going on in your life, this is just a really tough time to be a live I think. We've just come out of the most significant worldwide disease in what, 100 years? And now we're all sat here, fairly powerless, watching some madman destroy a country. You read about it, you see death and you think about how sh!t it is, and you feel like you should be grateful for everything that you have because as close as it is to us, we are still quite detached from it and are, living in the UK, pretty lucky.

 

But then you stop reading the news. And you stop watching the clips. And you try and go about your day and enjoy yourself in the moment, because short of halting your life to join the Ukrainian alliance or go and help refugees in Poland, how much can you do? And what happens to your family or your friends in the meantime? 

 

Before you know it, you're filling the car up and are aghast at the price of a tank. Or you're at home and the heating is on, and after yo see what your energy bill is going to be next month you think sh!t, maybe I should turn it off, and that you probably need to cut back on stuff. Suddenly you are reminded of the war, and that other thing called climate change and what is happening to the planet, and you feel like a selfish, ungrateful bastard. 

 

And all of this, is on top of all of those daily struggles. The difficult relationships, the work stress, the older family members, the kids. And I've not even mentioned the reason we're all on this board.

 

Fvck me. Life is hard. Hold on to the little wins and take care of each other.

Great post. It does feel like the perfect storm at the minute, and it's having quite an effect on me both personally and professionally to the point where I feel like I'm overwhelmed with negativity. Whilst I've become a bit of a grumpy sod of late (and probably not the most fun person to be around) having faced similar challenges in the past with my mental health I'm in the fortunate position where my experience means I'm actually quite well equipped to manage myself out of the situation and not let it spiral to the darkest depths. However I won't lie, it is tough and I can certainly relate to others who are feeling anxious looking over their shoulder wondering what Putin might do next. I must say I really struggle with uncertainty and not knowing what might come next has me on edge. I can cope with any bad situation that may eventually arise but if its going to happen just get on with it. This long drawn out process feels like a form of psychological torture for someone whose very much prone to anxiety. 

Edited 14 March 2022 by ian__marshall

[urban.spaceman]

Really want to actually enjoy my life; starting to get glimpses of how it’s possible but it still feels very far away. 

[spacemunky]

15 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Really want to actually enjoy my life; starting to get glimpses of how it’s possible but it still feels very far away. 

I can very much relate.

[urban.spaceman]

46 minutes ago, spacemunky said:

I can very much relate.

The worst thing is getting a peep at some brilliant opportunity then reality sets in and everything feels impossible to achieve.

[spacemunky]

5 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

The worst thing is getting a peep at some brilliant opportunity then reality sets in and everything feels impossible to achieve.

I've spent most of my life flying under the radar. Of course that way of "functioning" isn't the likely path to success.

[urban.spaceman]

2 hours ago, spacemunky said:

I've spent most of my life flying under the radar. Of course that way of "functioning" isn't the likely path to success.

Depends what you consider "success". I've come to realise lately that everyone has a different idea of what success is. Don't let yourself be governed by other peoples values. Do your own thing.
 

Having said that I'm not trying to validate Tottenham

[filthyfox]

I realised today that I actually really like my job, and that doing it to the best of my ability makes me a success. 

 

I earn more than I have ever done before, I get to play with puppies a lot of the time, and I love by the sea.

 

Ps... I am also on 40mg citalopram

 

RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE

[spacemunky]

1 hour ago, filthyfox said:

I realised today that I actually really like my job, and that doing it to the best of my ability makes me a success. 

 

I earn more than I have ever done before, I get to play with puppies a lot of the time, and I love by the sea.

 

Ps... I am also on 40mg citalopram

 

RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE

Always great to read something like this. 

 

Well done!

 

 

[tom27111]

1 hour ago, filthyfox said:

I realised today that I actually really like my job, and that doing it to the best of my ability makes me a success. 

 

I earn more than I have ever done before, I get to play with puppies a lot of the time, and I love by the sea.

 

Ps... I am also on 40mg citalopram

 

RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE

That's awesome mate.

 

Tell me more about the puppies! I'd swap cars for puppies every day! 

[String fellow]

5 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

That's awesome mate.

 

Tell me more about the puppies! I'd swap cars for puppies every day! 

First, FT had wheels v. doors, now wheels v. puppies!

I've been on various anti-depressants for over two decades, and now want to stop being reliant on them. Trying to come off SSRIs is really difficult, but I'm doing it over several months, reducing the daily dosage very slowly. The main withdrawal symptom for me is severe insomnia, as happened with previous attempts at coming off them. 

[filthyfox]

1 hour ago, tom27111 said:

That's awesome mate.

 

Tell me more about the puppies! I'd swap cars for puppies every day! 

Every Council has an Officer that licences Pet Shops, Dog breeders, kennels, catteries and horse riding establishments.... thats me.

 

I was majorly depressed last year when I didn't get a promotion, this basically set off a whole multitude of feelings that had laid dormant for 18 years about not feeling good enough, not making my family proud, and worries that my stunner of a wife would leave me because of it.

 

Once I got myself stable again, I worked towards making sure my job was pay graded correctly, and got a pay rise for my efforts.  I am instrumental in our animal welfare licensing procedures, and there ain't no way my Mrs is going anywhere.

 

I do, however, suffer badly in the winter months when daylight is limited.

[filthyfox]

1 hour ago, String fellow said:

First, FT had wheels v. doors, now wheels v. puppies!

I've been on various anti-depressants for over two decades, and now want to stop being reliant on them. Trying to come off SSRIs is really difficult, but I'm doing it over several months, reducing the daily dosage very slowly. The main withdrawal symptom for me is severe insomnia, as happened with previous attempts at coming off them. 

Insomnia is my biggest problem when I have bad days. I'm not intending to even try coming off the SSRIs as I know what I would feel like without them.

[filthyfox]

2 hours ago, spacemunky said:

Always great to read something like this. 

 

Well done!

 

 

A good exercise is to imagine where you would be of you could not fail.

 

For me, I joined the Police at 19 (left at 21), so, I would be a Chief Superintendent, probably divorced, and bloody miserable- i wouldn't trade what i have now for that.

 

Failure is what gives you perspective.

[tom27111]

That is amazing. So pleased for you and sounds like you've got a great job that you enjoy and is worthwhile. 

 

I bet you're loving it more than everyone else that the clocks are changing at the weekend then? My absolute favourite time of year.

 

Is that linked to S.A.D? I've heard a lot of people suffer with it. A treatment I've heard of is exposure to something like a light box. Not that easy though is it? 

Edited 24 March 2022 by tom27111

[filthyfox]

4 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

 

 

Is that linked to S.A.D? I've heard a lot of people suffer with it. A treatment I've heard of is exposure to something like a light box. Not that easy though is it? 

I have a light box and a full spectrum light bulb for my "office"= this lucky bugger has been told to keep working from home!

 

I hate the clocks changing. It really buggers me up losing an hours sleep.

[chrishlcfc]

Still really struggling. Been like it permanently for about 2 1/2 weeks now. Doctors are useless all they did was up my meds about 2 weeks ago. 
 

I know it takes time but I’m absolutely fed up and done with everything.

[String fellow]

5 hours ago, filthyfox said:

Insomnia is my biggest problem when I have bad days. I'm not intending to even try coming off the SSRIs as I know what I would feel like without them.

Even with them, I still have bad days. But my brain is so used to having them that its difficult to know whether they are helping or not. Usually, the bad days are triggered by something very specific related to BDD, and it feels as if that reaction would happen irrespective of the medication. Two things that help me now are: 1. trying not to worry about events over which I have absolutely no control, and  2. making a mental list of every small success I've had during the day, when retiring to bed at night.  

[filthyfox]

2 hours ago, String fellow said:

Even with them, I still have bad days. But my brain is so used to having them that its difficult to know whether they are helping or not. 

Bad days will still happen,  you will still get affected by them.  The SSRIs help readdress the balance. 

 

As for BDD, having dealt with my head, I let my body go significantly this year.  I now can't fit into the largest size Foxes shirt (not that they are that big to start with)- SHAME ON YOU LEICESTER CITY!