Depression

[tom27111]

14 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Had such a rollercoaster last month or so. Had a few positives but more negatives and I’m really struggling right now. I don’t know what to do with my medication anymore I’ve tried 3 or 4 different anti depressants now and none have seemed to help me that much. Don’t know how much more I can cope with to be honest.

Mate, I'm useless at this. I was the one who reached out for help on here a few years ago.

 

It can and will get better.

 

If you ever need a chat, PM me whenever you want. 

 

Keep going

[weller54]

22 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Had such a rollercoaster last month or so. Had a few positives but more negatives and I’m really struggling right now. I don’t know what to do with my medication anymore I’ve tried 3 or 4 different anti depressants now and none have seemed to help me that much. Don’t know how much more I can cope with to be honest.

Easy to say but if you look hard enough there are positives in life to be found but on the occasions you just can't find any there are people on here to help... pm me too at anytime.

One FT family, one love.

[urban.spaceman]

3 hours ago, weller54 said:

I really hope 2022 is a positive year for you.

There are so many people struggling with their mental health it's scary!!

What meds are you on?...I take citalopram (20mg) they do help my low moods but not great for helping get good quality sleep!!

Cheers Weller. There’s definitely been a massive increase with people suffering. I was trying to remember what meds I was on between Sertraline and Fluoxetine and you’ve just reminded me, it was Shitalopram. I really didn’t get on with them at all. Ended up going on Fluoxetine just before the pandemic after a good discussion with my GP, who I’d developed a really good relationship over the last few years. Been relatively stable on them throughout COVID but I’ve had other health issues since my second AZ jab in April, mainly extreme fatigue and sleeping problems which is preventing me from working out and losing more weight. Which is in turn playing havoc with my MH. My surgery is taking the absolute piss - I’ve not seen my regular GP for 2 years now, and have only had 2 face to face appointments with 2 different GPs who’ve tried putting me on other things. The last one gave me amitriptyline to counteract my fatigue and help me sleep but they were just not working at all. Chose to go back to Fluoxetine the other day and already feeling much better. Hope citalopram works out for you

[fox_favourite]

5 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Cheers Weller. There’s definitely been a massive increase with people suffering. I was trying to remember what meds I was on between Sertraline and Fluoxetine and you’ve just reminded me, it was Shitalopram. I really didn’t get on with them at all. Ended up going on Fluoxetine just before the pandemic after a good discussion with my GP, who I’d developed a really good relationship over the last few years. Been relatively stable on them throughout COVID but I’ve had other health issues since my second AZ jab in April, mainly extreme fatigue and sleeping problems which is preventing me from working out and losing more weight. Which is in turn playing havoc with my MH. My surgery is taking the absolute piss - I’ve not seen my regular GP for 2 years now, and have only had 2 face to face appointments with 2 different GPs who’ve tried putting me on other things. The last one gave me amitriptyline to counteract my fatigue and help me sleep but they were just not working at all. Chose to go back to Fluoxetine the other day and already feeling much better. Hope citalopram works out for you

I was put on Citalopram for controlling my Anxiety and it made me a lot worse. My wife described it as a drunk crazy man rambling about things. At one point I was curled up on the sofa rocking, unable to control my thoughts. I stop them a few days later and it was like a cloud lifting. 
 

I, like you, tried to speak to my gp but it was a 2 week wait. It’s incredibly frustrating when you feel lost and no where to turn. 
 

My position at the moment is for me, and I’m sorry if this sounds selfish, but these days I feel mentally drained. I always want to do the right thing, I constantly worry if I’ve got it each cold I have, potentially passing it on to others, I do LFT after LFT, I wear masks in shop, at work, I’ve limited social contact more. I’ve not seen my oldest mate for over a year and haven’t been to the KP (season ticket holder) since Aston Villa in March 2020.
 

My anxiety levels have gone through the roof since day one of the pandemic. I feel lost most days and I’ve lost interest in a lot of things as well. I used to play football 2 times a week, would hate missing a LCFC match, would love to go out and do stuff. Now, well I just lost interest. I don’t play football, sometimes forget or ignore the matches and not bothered by anything on TV, also lost my drive at work.
 

I love my kids and wife to bits, but my list of interest feels like it’s starting to disappear. Wife keeps asking what I want to do for my birthday and honestly, nothing…not fussed. I’ve tried medication, counselling but this doesn’t seem to work with medication seeing me go down a right! Full night sleep is a luxury for me. 

the last week feels like it’s getting worse. The news full of lockdown talk, restrictions, cases, hospitals under strain I don’t know how much more I can take! I know everyone feels like this, but I just want an end, some good news, but can’t see it at the moment or any time soon. This feeling of being drained, useless, worry, lost is getting to me like never before. 

 

Sorry for the ramble - no need to read it, just needed somewhere to write this down. 

Edited 21 December 2021 by fox_favourite

[Thefoxman]

15 hours ago, weller54 said:

I really hope 2022 is a positive year for you.

There are so many people struggling with their mental health it's scary!!

What meds are you on?...I take citalopram (20mg) they do help my low moods but not great for helping get good quality sleep!!

Same, switched to sertraline for 2 months and that was horendous!! 

[Thefoxman]

I rarely post in the forum even tho ive been here years. Just wanted to to say have a good christmas all and always here if anyone needs to talk.

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

I was on max dose sertraline for a few years, looking back now I can't believe I let that happen to myself. I was like a zombie with no sex drive and every time I'd have so much as a pint I'd turn in to a total lunatic. Not good times. 

[twoleftfeet]

Weller54 and Thefoxman it can be a living nightmare until you get put on the corret meds i am on Duloxetine and Aripipazole.

I hope all get the help and support they need in the new year.

[Raj]

On 19/12/2021 at 01:07, urban.spaceman said:

Just wanted to thank everyone again for reaching out to me last week. I’d just received news that yet again I’d been passed over for a job opportunity, resigning me to poverty for even longer, and that same day one of my oldest friends texted to tell me she’d got a new and better job. Had a few drinks to commiserate with myself which led to a row in the household. Ended up just feeling utterly suicidal on Saturday, just no hope whatsoever. Like I was being punished for something I didn’t know I did or something. 
 

Made the realisation that I’d switched tablets recently and it may have affected my mood. Gone back to my previous ones this week and while my sleep isn’t as good, my mood is much less volatile and I can stomach looking for opportunities again. Also means that I can have a drink on my old tablets, which I plan to do in moderation, but will definitely help over Christmas and New Years. Feeling much better this week, planning on starting some of those applications so I’m not rushing for deadlines in January. 
 

Hope everyone’s well x

 

Hope your getting through it, just remember  though every step is a step in the right direction. 

Nothing I can say that I presume no one has already said but there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes  the tunnel is just fecking longer  to get through!

 

What line of work are you looking to get into?

[urban.spaceman]

8 hours ago, fox_favourite said:

I was put on Citalopram for controlling my Anxiety and it made me a lot worse. My wife described it as a drunk crazy man rambling about things. At one point I was curled up on the sofa rocking, unable to control my thoughts. I stop them a few days later and it was like a cloud lifting. 
 

I, like you, tried to speak to my gp but it was a 2 week wait. It’s incredibly frustrating when you feel lost and no where to turn. 
 

My position at the moment is for me, and I’m sorry if this sounds selfish, but these days I feel mentally drained. I always want to do the right thing, I constantly worry if I’ve got it each cold I have, potentially passing it on to others, I do LFT after LFT, I wear masks in shop, at work, I’ve limited social contact more. I’ve not seen my oldest mate for over a year and haven’t been to the KP (season ticket holder) since Aston Villa in March 2020.
 

My anxiety levels have gone through the roof since day one of the pandemic. I feel lost most days and I’ve lost interest in a lot of things as well. I used to play football 2 times a week, would hate missing a LCFC match, would love to go out and do stuff. Now, well I just lost interest. I don’t play football, sometimes forget or ignore the matches and not bothered by anything on TV, also lost my drive at work.
 

I love my kids and wife to bits, but my list of interest feels like it’s starting to disappear. Wife keeps asking what I want to do for my birthday and honestly, nothing…not fussed. I’ve tried medication, counselling but this doesn’t seem to work with medication seeing me go down a right! Full night sleep is a luxury for me. 

the last week feels like it’s getting worse. The news full of lockdown talk, restrictions, cases, hospitals under strain I don’t know how much more I can take! I know everyone feels like this, but I just want an end, some good news, but can’t see it at the moment or any time soon. This feeling of being drained, useless, worry, lost is getting to me like never before. 

 

Sorry for the ramble - no need to read it, just needed somewhere to write this down. 

Took me a long, LONG time to realise that dealing with anxiety in your own way is massively important. One of my favourite people in the world, who I lived next to in Cape Town, would come home from work and go and have a 1 or 2 hour nap in her room to recover from her anxiety ridden day. She said it helped her readjust, even if she didn't sleep, to lie down and just rest. For me it's definitely going to the cinema. 2-3 hours away from the world and your troubles, delving into whatever fantastical world on the screen is bringing me. It can be anything, the new shiny Marvel nonsense or auteur director, or a screenwriter or actor I admire or something with a glorious cinematic set piece - I saw Interstellar 7 times on the big screen just for the "re-docking" scene; 1917 4 times for that amazing run at the end. I went to see "Man Up" about 3 times when it was out because a) I have a massive man crush on Simon Pegg, b) it's a great film and c) there's a brilliantly constructed scene that as a budding screenwriter just makes me want to write. 

 

So I can totally understand why lockdowns were such torture for so many people. It robbed us of the things we not just LOVE to do, but need to do. When I feel myself slipping into a mental health crisis I find myself desperately searching for "wins". Really little things like either going to the cinema, LCFC winning a game, or having a nice and cordial conversation with a stranger. During lockdowns it became something really simple like successfully changing a minute part of my behaviour, like instead of drinking and isolating myself, go and watch a film in the living room, or draining all my devices to it forces me to do something else. 

[chrishlcfc]

9 hours ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

I was on max dose sertraline for a few years, looking back now I can't believe I let that happen to myself. I was like a zombie with no sex drive and every time I'd have so much as a pint I'd turn in to a total lunatic. Not good times. 

Ah that’s probably my problem. I know everyone is different. But I’m on them now and they don’t seem to be helping me at all. 
 

And I’m staying in Liverpool on the beers tomorrow night, hope I don’t turn even more crazy than my up and down moods. 

[foxfanazer]

I have a feeling my medication is working too well. Christmas has absolutely blitzed my finances and I now have £100 to last me 3 weeks. Despite this I'm reasonably calm although I realise how bleak it is. 

 

 

[fox_favourite]

7 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Took me a long, LONG time to realise that dealing with anxiety in your own way is massively important. One of my favourite people in the world, who I lived next to in Cape Town, would come home from work and go and have a 1 or 2 hour nap in her room to recover from her anxiety ridden day. She said it helped her readjust, even if she didn't sleep, to lie down and just rest. For me it's definitely going to the cinema. 2-3 hours away from the world and your troubles, delving into whatever fantastical world on the screen is bringing me. It can be anything, the new shiny Marvel nonsense or auteur director, or a screenwriter or actor I admire or something with a glorious cinematic set piece - I saw Interstellar 7 times on the big screen just for the "re-docking" scene; 1917 4 times for that amazing run at the end. I went to see "Man Up" about 3 times when it was out because a) I have a massive man crush on Simon Pegg, b) it's a great film and c) there's a brilliantly constructed scene that as a budding screenwriter just makes me want to write. 

 

So I can totally understand why lockdowns were such torture for so many people. It robbed us of the things we not just LOVE to do, but need to do. When I feel myself slipping into a mental health crisis I find myself desperately searching for "wins". Really little things like either going to the cinema, LCFC winning a game, or having a nice and cordial conversation with a stranger. During lockdowns it became something really simple like successfully changing a minute part of my behaviour, like instead of drinking and isolating myself, go and watch a film in the living room, or draining all my devices to it forces me to do something else. 

Good post and thank you for taking the time. It sounds like it hasn’t been easy for you. 
 

Maybe that is what’s wrong. I’ve always had low levels of anxiety since a kid. But I threw myself into football. Played football, followed LCFC as much as I could. As an adult I carried that on by becoming a season ticket holder, playing 5-a-side and Sunday league. But when the pandemic hit I stopped these things and not been back. Maybe that was my, as you nicely put it, my way of dealing with my anxiety.

 

Anyone who says to me “you just need to stop worrying as much” I always say I wish it was that easy! 

[foxfanazer]

On 19/12/2021 at 01:07, urban.spaceman said:

Just wanted to thank everyone again for reaching out to me last week. I’d just received news that yet again I’d been passed over for a job opportunity, resigning me to poverty for even longer, and that same day one of my oldest friends texted to tell me she’d got a new and better job. Had a few drinks to commiserate with myself which led to a row in the household. Ended up just feeling utterly suicidal on Saturday, just no hope whatsoever. Like I was being punished for something I didn’t know I did or something. 
 

Made the realisation that I’d switched tablets recently and it may have affected my mood. Gone back to my previous ones this week and while my sleep isn’t as good, my mood is much less volatile and I can stomach looking for opportunities again. Also means that I can have a drink on my old tablets, which I plan to do in moderation, but will definitely help over Christmas and New Years. Feeling much better this week, planning on starting some of those applications so I’m not rushing for deadlines in January. 
 

Hope everyone’s well x

Glad to hear you're doing better mate. Just goes to show that however bad you feel at the time there's always gonna be a time when you feel better.

 

Good luck with the job search. Any particular field you're looking to get into?   

[foxfanazer]

7 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Took me a long, LONG time to realise that dealing with anxiety in your own way is massively important. One of my favourite people in the world, who I lived next to in Cape Town, would come home from work and go and have a 1 or 2 hour nap in her room to recover from her anxiety ridden day. She said it helped her readjust, even if she didn't sleep, to lie down and just rest. For me it's definitely going to the cinema. 2-3 hours away from the world and your troubles, delving into whatever fantastical world on the screen is bringing me. It can be anything, the new shiny Marvel nonsense or auteur director, or a screenwriter or actor I admire or something with a glorious cinematic set piece - I saw Interstellar 7 times on the big screen just for the "re-docking" scene; 1917 4 times for that amazing run at the end. I went to see "Man Up" about 3 times when it was out because a) I have a massive man crush on Simon Pegg, b) it's a great film and c) there's a brilliantly constructed scene that as a budding screenwriter just makes me want to write. 

 

So I can totally understand why lockdowns were such torture for so many people. It robbed us of the things we not just LOVE to do, but need to do. When I feel myself slipping into a mental health crisis I find myself desperately searching for "wins". Really little things like either going to the cinema, LCFC winning a game, or having a nice and cordial conversation with a stranger. During lockdowns it became something really simple like successfully changing a minute part of my behaviour, like instead of drinking and isolating myself, go and watch a film in the living room, or draining all my devices to it forces me to do something else. 

Interesting you say about going to the cinema to get away from things. I've considered it myself recently but I've een way too self conscious about going to the cinema on my own (who's gonna care right). 

[HighPeakFox]

Just now, foxfanazer said:

Interesting you say about going to the cinema to get away from things. I've considered it myself recently but I've een way too self conscious about going to the cinema on my own (who's gonna care right). 

I find it empowering, but then I am used to spending time alone.

[foxfanazer]

1 minute ago, HighPeakFox said:

I find it empowering, but then I am used to spending time alone.

This is the first sustained period of time I've been alone in my whole life. I've really got to learn to do things by myself 

[orangecity23]

When you get over the initial weird feeling about going to see films or go to gigs on your own, its actually pretty great - you can go and watch anything you like, at a time that suits you, and it dosn't matter of any of your friends are interested in seeing the film or not. It's actually quite liberating.

[Izzy]

I had a spell a few years back when I went to the cinema on my own in the day probably twice a month, during the daytime in the week, while the wife was at work and kids at school. 

 

I've never told them, probably through guilt that I should have been 'working from home' while they were busy grafting.

 

There's been a few occasions since where the wife has suggested we watch a film together (either at the cinema or on TV) where I've seen it before on my own but I haven't told her.

 

It's a bit of a weird secret to hold I suppose, but I loved going to the cinema on my own.

 

 

[ajthefox]

I've found that how I feel doing stuff on my own is more related to my own state of mind at the time than it is anything else.

 

Sure, eating alone in a fancy restaurant I suspect you may get a few looks, but no-one really cares.

 

I've generally done quite a bit on my own over the years. I've been to gigs alone, been on holiday on my own and done plenty of day trips on my own. I had a season ticket on my own one year too. I find it harder these days sometimes, but that's because of my own mind and I guess a hangover from my depression, which was heavily related to loneliness. It depends on the day really, and whether or not I'm doing the thing intentionally alone or not.

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

Anyone who looks at someone doing something alone and makes a judgement about them for it is just plain weird. I'll often go in to a pub and grab some lunch on my own. Who gives a toss what people think do what makes you happy. I personally wouldn't go to the cinema alone these days because cinemas do my head in and if I wanted to watch something alone I'd much rather from the comfort of a nice settee in an environment where people won't be loud and I can be relaxed but that's just me. 

[HybridFox]

I do actually enjoy watching films alone because I can fully immerse myself in the moment. That said comedy and family films are not so bad with others.

 

What does raise my anxiety though is if I'm alone at the cinema and I bump into someone I know, particularly if it's a group of people. I just become overly self conscious and find it hard to focus on the film.

 

If I am going down that road I tend to choose weird times or wait till most people have seen it so it's a quieter screening.

 

There is a cinema near my workplace which is out of town so I do want to try and go there more often afterwards. But same fear creeps in that I might bump into someone from work 

Edited 22 December 2021 by TK95

[urban.spaceman]

So, around October last year, I started watching Strictly Come Dancing for the first time ever. Watched a couple of dances before, and that's it. This year, Bill Bailey had been hired as the "joke act" - the older, less able celebrity who was there to be a laugh for a few weeks. And he was. Until about the 4th week, when he started to take it seriously. And so did I. A few weeks later and he was dancing to Enter Sandman. And then he won the whole thing. It absolutely made my year (2020 was ****ing miserable for everyone remember). The triumph of the underdog and all that - it genuinely made me want to dance. 

 

Some personal highlights from his time on the show:

 

 

 

 

Seriously ****ing wholesome. Of course I fell in love with Oti (being from the continent I absolutely ****ing adore); anyway...

 

This morning my sister rocked up and surprised me and my dad with tickets to see him in Nottingham tonight. It was our Christmas present. 

 

He was absolutely ****ing amazing. He really made my year AGAIN, especially after the troubling last few weeks.

 

I guess my point is, carrying on from what I said the other day, is to look for "wins" - tiny goals that boost your mental health and restore some happiness even for just a moment. 

 

2014-2015 was a ****ing awful time for me personally - 10x worse than what things are now. Leicester City genuinely saved my life. 

 

**Do beware that they're not always reliable. So look for your wins elsewhere!

[urban.spaceman]

Shut up Urban.

[urban.spaceman]

K