Depression

[Jattdogg]

20 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

K

I'm ol gregggggg

[Izzy]

9 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

 

 He was absolutely ****ing amazing. He really made my year AGAIN, especially after the troubling last few weeks.

 

 I guess my point is, carrying on from what I said the other day, is to look for "wins" - tiny goals that boost your mental health and restore some happiness even for just a moment. 

 

 2014-2015 was a ****ing awful time for me personally - 10x worse than what things are now. Leicester City genuinely saved my life. 

 

Mate, I'm delighted for you that these events gave you happiness during tough times.

 

I'm not sure how to articulate this without pissing on your chips but in my experience anyway, looking for external things to make us happy isn't the long term answer to addressing our mental health issues.

 

I think we all suffer from the illusion that external events make us happy, rather than happiness coming from within. I'm not suggesting for a minute that we shouldn't enjoy these things in our life, but if we solely rely on them to bring us joy then I think we're ultimately doomed.

 

If external things/events make us happy, then why are there so many 'successful' people in life who appear to have it all but are still depressed? Surely the answer to our ultimate happiness/wellbeing/contentment has to come from within?

 

How can we find those 'wins' from within instead? How can we find true joy and enlightenment in life without the need for reliance on other people/things/events?

 

I'm genuinely happy for you mate and wish you well, so please take this post in the spirit it's intended. 

 

Edited 24 December 2021 by Izzy

[Izzy]

30 minutes ago, pmcla26 said:

Had a panic attack today at work. Just want the day to end so I can get fcuked with my mates and forget about everything that's gone wrong this year. This Xmas period has really got me feeling low, seeing how excited and happy everyone is and I'm anything but. 

Sorry to hear about your panic attack mate. I imagine this came on the back of some negative thinking/catastrophizing about something that probably isn't true or isn't going to happen. I hope you're feeling calmer now...

 

Measuring your own happiness against everyone else is a sure fire way to feel shit. With respect, we've no idea how anyone else is really feeling (even though on the surface they may look happy and excited).

 

I hope you enjoy getting fvcked with your mates later but please be mindful it isn't necessarily the long term answer to dealing with your demons. 

 

Rather than forget everything that's gone wrong this year, what have you got to be grateful for?

 

Be kind to yourself fella and I hope you have a good Christmas.

[HighPeakFox]

43 minutes ago, pmcla26 said:

Had a panic attack today at work. Just want the day to end so I can get fcuked with my mates and forget about everything that's gone wrong this year. This Xmas period has really got me feeling low, seeing how excited and happy everyone is and I'm anything but. 

Don't dwell. And if I were you, don't get smashed either. 

[Izzy]

45 minutes ago, pmcla26 said:

Thanks mate. Yeah you're right about not really knowing how anyone's truly feeling, I know there are a lot of people in a worse position than me this Xmas and you're also right that I should try and be grateful for the good things that have also come from this year. Career wise it's been successful, on a personal level it's been an absolute shit show. At least it can only get better in that regard. 

 

Hope u (and everyone else on this thread) have a good one too. X

Occasionally when I'm feeling a bit reflective, I do an exercise called 'The Wheel of Life'. You basically split your life into 8-10 segments/categories (like spokes on a wheel) and score where you think you currently are on each (1=an absolute shit show, 10=fvcking amazing). How you segregate your life and what categories to use are up to you, but I tend to go with (in no particular order):

 

Career

Health

Finances

Relationship with spouse

Relationship with kids/parents

Social/friendships

Religion/spirituality

Personal development/growth/learning

Hobbies/interests

 

There are times I do this where some areas score high and others score low, and it gives me a good 'snap shot' of where I'm putting my focus and energy. I tend to look at the areas that are working well and then try and replicate those habits/best practice in the areas where life isn't so great. 

 

I guess the whole point of the exercise is to try and find 'balance' in life while also being grateful for the good stuff. 

 

[FoxesDeb]

I want to wish everyone on this thread a merry Christmas, wherever you are and whatever you are doing tomorrow. Hopefully people can make the best of the day, whether it be celebrating with others, or watching TV on their own. 

 

I'll be around here tomorrow, and my DM's are always open for a chat, just don't be alone if you don't want to be. 

 

I hope the New Year brings us all a brighter future too x

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

Well said Deb, tomorrow can often be the most difficult day of the year for people struggling with mental health issues . I'll be checking in on this thread sparodically throughout the day and would urge anyone who feels really low tomorrow to dm one of the posters in this thread who make themselves available (myself included), or to ring a friend/family member, or 116 123 Samaritans are always open. Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. 

[foxfanazer]

The best thread of any forum on the Web. So many amazing people literally saving lives 

 

Merry Christmas to you all and like the others have said, my dms will be open to anyone that needs a chat 

[HybridFox]

Was supposed to meet a group of mates for our customary Christmas Eve drink at the pub. 

 

Got messaged by the one I arguably keep the most in touch with to say one of the others was isolating so perhaps postpone when we'll all be free. I didn't have an issue.

 

Then see an Instagram story from someone I knew at college with the rest of the group at the pub anyway. It's not a big deal but just makes you feel a bit sh*t. I wish people would just say they want to go with others or be up front that they don't want you there instead of being a snake.

 

Bit of a trigger for past memories when people acted like they were your best mates at school then hold parties without inviting you 

 

But heigh ho I'm not gonna let it ruin a great Christmas. Fantastic feast, binge watch movies and spend time with my family who care 

 

Hope everyone on here has a great day too

[Smudge]

2 hours ago, TK95 said:

Was supposed to meet a group of mates for our customary Christmas Eve drink at the pub. 

 

Got messaged by the one I arguably keep the most in touch with to say one of the others was isolating so perhaps postpone when we'll all be free. I didn't have an issue.

 

Then see an Instagram story from someone I knew at college with the rest of the group at the pub anyway. It's not a big deal but just makes you feel a bit sh*t. I wish people would just say they want to go with others or be up front that they don't want you there instead of being a snake.

 

Bit of a trigger for past memories when people acted like they were your best mates at school then hold parties without inviting you 

 

But heigh ho I'm not gonna let it ruin a great Christmas. Fantastic feast, binge watch movies and spend time with my family who care 

 

Hope everyone on here has a great day too

Whatever you think about people, some of us care.

[Smudge]

11 hours ago, FoxesDeb said:

I want to wish everyone on this thread a merry Christmas, wherever you are and whatever you are doing tomorrow. Hopefully people can make the best of the day, whether it be celebrating with others, or watching TV on their own. 

 

I'll be around here tomorrow, and my DM's are always open for a chat, just don't be alone if you don't want to be. 

 

I hope the New Year brings us all a brighter future too x

You seem to be a special person.

Happy Christmas to you too. 

Edited 25 December 2021 by Smudge

[FoxyPV]

This is the hardest time of year for those suffering from depression so please post in here if you're really struggling or need to vent.

 

Online support is still support.

 

Big hugs to you all.

[HighPeakFox]

My first family Christmas in years, and a sign of progress that it's all going fine. 

 

Things can and do improve - there's no magic wand, just a decision to take some agency in our own lives. 

 

Sorry, that sounds very preachy - thoughts are with those struggling, particularly today. 

[fazzyfox]

Everyone is different and has different ways of coping or trying to cope, sometimes it's trial and error. Having gone from 5 (4 of us and a cat) to 1 in a handful of years, I still try to have "A" Christmas, a routine but a flexible one and find fixing on the meal takes your mind off things but at other times causes painful reminiscences. The problem comes when you sit down take your first bite and it's a delicious meal then just crack up at the seemingly pointlessness of it and a tinge of selfish guilt, WTF is this, laying the table, going to the effort for one person but the alternative would be 12 hours of reflecting, stewing, thinking, so it kind of works, kind of doesn't but it's what I try. Alcohol is there but if anything a little less than it would have been with company, a steady bottle of Cava from mealtime to bedtime, nothing heavier than that. You can be as in control as you think but if "This womans work" by Kate Bush comes on the radio, that's it you're gone for an hour thinking of mum, so no magic wand but just a suggestion, maybe fix on something like preparing food but talk if it starts getting dark or disturbing.

[Parafox]

On 24/12/2021 at 15:30, Izzy said:

 

 

Career - 8 (before I retired)

Health - 7

Finances - 6

Relationship with spouse - 5

Relationship with kids/parents - 5

Social/friendships - 7

Religion/spirituality - 1

Personal development/growth/learning - 3

Hobbies/interests - 1

 

 

 

It did make me think about where I am in my life and where I possibly need to change. I guess it depends on what is affecting you at any particular time of your life. 

I've realised how important my job was to me now that I no longer have it. I reflect and I'm proud of what I did in helping complete strangers. It's difficult to find anything that gives me the adrenaline rush or the satisfaction and that's where I struggle and that affects most other aspects of my life.

[FoxyPV]

Big hugs @Parafox

[Raj]

I've got a couple of sachets of selenium tortuous aka wild kanna from south africa which helped me in my initial stages.

Do some research bit of anyone wants one, DM me and I'll post them out to you.

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sceletium_tortuosum

 

 

[foxfanazer]

Feel completely done. Everytime I get like this it feels harder. Gonna be too much for me one day

[HighPeakFox]

3 minutes ago, foxfanazer said:

Feel completely done. Everytime I get like this it feels harder. Gonna be too much for me one day

Get off social media is my advice.

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

Is always a good idea to take a little Internet/screen break. Do a little exercise and a little housework. I know it's the last thing anyone wants to do when they feel like everything is getting on top of them but if you just try and force yourself to then it'll do wonders to take your mind off things. But if that is too difficult to do at any given time then just try and be strong willed and strong minded and get through things one step at a time. 

[kyleolly]

1 hour ago, foxfanazer said:

Feel completely done. Everytime I get like this it feels harder. Gonna be too much for me one day

I work within mental health and I've never known it to be like this your certainly not on your own I speak to alot of people everyday who feel exactly the same and it certainly doesn't help services are on their knees I referred somebody for counselling today and the waiting list is 2 and a half years on the NHS wtf

[FoxyPV]

18 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

Feel completely done. Everytime I get like this it feels harder. Gonna be too much for me one day

 Keep in contact. Post on here. DM me. Ring Samaritans etc.

[doverfox]

22 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

Feel completely done. Everytime I get like this it feels harder. Gonna be too much for me one day

People feel worse this time of year the memories of the good and not so good times and the missing of loved ones. 

[Kopfkino]

I really struggle most years during the winter but I think this year already feels the worst for a long time. Feel really grim and wanting to hibernate for weeks. I normally look to the Spring equinox for some reason but it feels further away than normal.
 

What I don’t understand is why I was largely fine last winter despite, for obvious reasons, it being the most difficult of winters generally. I feel worse this year than usual and I think that’s cos I feel lonelier but again that probably would have been even worse last year. Maybe I accepted it more last year, maybe I didn’t feel like beating myself up about it because I just accepted the situation. 

[FoxyPV]

34 minutes ago, Kopfkino said:

I really struggle most years during the winter but I think this year already feels the worst for a long time. Feel really grim and wanting to hibernate for weeks. I normally look to the Spring equinox for some reason but it feels further away than normal.
 

What I don’t understand is why I was largely fine last winter despite, for obvious reasons, it being the most difficult of winters generally. I feel worse this year than usual and I think that’s cos I feel lonelier but again that probably would have been even worse last year. Maybe I accepted it more last year, maybe I didn’t feel like beating myself up about it because I just accepted the situation. 

I think you need a sun lamp. Got one for my stepdaughter. Made the world of a difference to her.