Depression

[urban.spaceman]

On 19/02/2022 at 14:57, Izzy said:

Not sure I agree with/understand your point here. I know many caring people who are amongst the happiest I know. Are you saying that caring about people/things as much as you do makes you depressed? 

 

Can you give an example of 'such matters'? Maybe they do care, but external events (of which they have no control over) don't make them feel depressed.

That’s pretty much the nail on the head with what I’m feeling most of the time actually. I really do let the external worry me too much (it’s my grans fault, she was a worrier). The way the country is going, what with price rises, tax hikes and support being actively taken from me by the government, is making it harder and harder to enjoy being here. I feel constantly worried about my situation and desperate to leave, but the ladder is getting pulled up out of reach. 
 

Saw a great quote the other week, ‘you can’t pull yourself up if there’s nothing to grab on to’.

 

I wish I could suppress that dreadful feeling and just be comfortable, but I can’t. 

[leicsmac]

On 19/02/2022 at 23:57, Izzy said:

Not sure I agree with/understand your point here. I know many caring people who are amongst the happiest I know. Are you saying that caring about people/things as much as you do makes you depressed? 

 

Can you give an example of 'such matters'? Maybe they do care, but external events (of which they have no control over) don't make them feel depressed.

 

23 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

That’s pretty much the nail on the head with what I’m feeling most of the time actually. I really do let the external worry me too much (it’s my grans fault, she was a worrier). The way the country is going, what with price rises, tax hikes and support being actively taken from me by the government, is making it harder and harder to enjoy being here. I feel constantly worried about my situation and desperate to leave, but the ladder is getting pulled up out of reach. 
 

Saw a great quote the other week, ‘you can’t pull yourself up if there’s nothing to grab on to’.

 

I wish I could suppress that dreadful feeling and just be comfortable, but I can’t. 

I think this way too, but extend that to the entire world. Knowing what could well be coming in terms of the way the Earth may change, sometimes I feel it would be better to be ignorant of it all because that knowledge (and the feeling that humanity isn't doing enough about it) is both frustrating and depressing in the extreme.

 

But then I do think people should feel more about "outside events" over which they have no control, because then perhaps more people might be motivated to consider that they both can and possibly must assert some kind of control (even if a little) over them and help solve them. Not letting such things bother you is fine - admirable, even - in the short term, but it's not so good long term.

 

[Guest Electric Yetis]

16 minutes ago, leicsmac said:

 

I think this way too, but extend that to the entire world. Knowing what could well be coming in terms of the way the Earth may change, sometimes I feel it would be better to be ignorant of it all because that knowledge (and the feeling that humanity isn't doing enough about it) is both frustrating and depressing in the extreme.

 

But then I do think people should feel more about "outside events" over which they have no control, because then perhaps more people might be motivated to consider that they both can and possibly must assert some kind of control (even if a little) over them and help solve them. Not letting such things bother you is fine - admirable, even - in the short term, but it's not so good long term.

 

When I went to some face to face counselling a couple of years back I mentioned how I get bogged down and worried about the state of the world.

 

Her answer to that and the advice on how to solve it was for me to not watch the news. Didn't go back to her after that.

[HighPeakFox]

8 hours ago, Rain King said:

When I went to some face to face counselling a couple of years back I mentioned how I get bogged down and worried about the state of the world.

 

Her answer to that and the advice on how to solve it was for me to not watch the news. Didn't go back to her after that.

And yet.... I choose not to watch the news. Not because I desire ignorance, or celebrate it, but because I recognise the detrimental effect it has on me. 

 

I should add that it's part of a wider desire not to spend energy on things I cannot affect. It's not that I care less, it's just the knowledge that the most I can contribute to the world is by being the best version of myself that I can. And, I assure you, that's not something that comes easy to me. 

[Izzy]

9 hours ago, leicsmac said:

 

But then I do think people should feel more about "outside events" over which they have no control, because then perhaps more people might be motivated to consider that they both can and possibly must assert some kind of control (even if a little) over them and help solve them. Not letting such things bother you is fine - admirable, even - in the short term, but it's not so good long term.

 

It's not about such things not bothering you or being in denial about them.

 

My point is that external world events don't make us feel depressed - it's our thinking and the meaning we attach to them that does.

 

I'm sure there are millions of people who watch the news every day and are fully invested in the worlds problems - but they're not depressed. Therefore it can't be the events themselves that makes people depressed.

 

The sentence in bold is the key. We have a choice to use our anger/frustration over such events to make positive change, or we can over think it and spiral into negative thoughts and potential depression.

 

[Guest Electric Yetis]

27 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

And yet.... I choose not to watch the news. Not because I desire ignorance, or celebrate it, but because I recognise the detrimental effect it has on me. 

 

I should add that it's part of a wider desire not to spend energy on things I cannot affect. It's not that I care less, it's just the knowledge that the most I can contribute to the world is by being the best version of myself that I can. And, I assure you, that's not something that comes easy to me. 

Oh I agree it makes sense in theory to turn off the news but there is still no-way of avoiding it.

 

It just seemed overly simplistic and not realistic but maybe that's just my cynical mind.

[leicsmac]

3 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

And yet.... I choose not to watch the news. Not because I desire ignorance, or celebrate it, but because I recognise the detrimental effect it has on me. 

 

I should add that it's part of a wider desire not to spend energy on things I cannot affect. It's not that I care less, it's just the knowledge that the most I can contribute to the world is by being the best version of myself that I can. And, I assure you, that's not something that comes easy to me. 

I understand where you're coming from here. Perhaps you're right. I see things differently in terms of how a person might contribute to the world, but I could well be wrong.

 

 

3 hours ago, Izzy said:

It's not about such things not bothering you or being in denial about them.

 

My point is that external world events don't make us feel depressed - it's our thinking and the meaning we attach to them that does.

 

I'm sure there are millions of people who watch the news every day and are fully invested in the worlds problems - but they're not depressed. Therefore it can't be the events themselves that makes people depressed.

 

The sentence in bold is the key. We have a choice to use our anger/frustration over such events to make positive change, or we can over think it and spiral into negative thoughts and potential depression.

 

Fair points all.

 

The bolded is exactly what I am doing - or at least intend to do. From elsewhere... "[He's] sufficiently angry about the state of the world that he considers it his moral obligation to act."

[Izzy]

12 hours ago, Rain King said:

When I went to some face to face counselling a couple of years back I mentioned how I get bogged down and worried about the state of the world.

 

Her answer to that and the advice on how to solve it was for me to not watch the news. Didn't go back to her after that.

Reminds me of this old Bob Newhart sketch

 

 

[HighPeakFox]

4 hours ago, Rain King said:

Oh I agree it makes sense in theory to turn off the news but there is still no-way of avoiding it.

 

It just seemed overly simplistic and not realistic but maybe that's just my cynical mind.

 

1 hour ago, leicsmac said:

I understand where you're coming from here. Perhaps you're right. I see things differently in terms of how a person might contribute to the world, but I could well be wrong.

 

 

Fair points all.

 

The bolded is exactly what I am doing - or at least intend to do. From elsewhere... "[He's] sufficiently angry about the state of the world that he considers it his moral obligation to act."

It took me 34 years from being taught the mantra 'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change - courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference' to actually applying it to my life.

 

Goodness knows I wish the world were different - but it is mostly, almost entirely outside of my influence or control. So my attitude now is a sort of acceptance that I'm not all-powerful or massively important, and I'm focussing on doing my best where I CAN make a difference.

 

P.S. I do not wish to imply that any of you is an egotist in any way - but it is actually really hard letting our conscious mind accept our lack of power in such matters. Please don't think I'm unsympathetic or fail to understand - for me this was a matter of being present in my own life rather than diverting/splitting myself. As far as I know, we only have a finite amount of time on this earth, and I've wasted too many years already, so I'm damned if I'm going to carry on doing so.

[leicsmac]

18 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

 

It took me 34 years from being taught the mantra 'Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change - courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference' to actually applying it to my life.

 

Goodness knows I wish the world were different - but it is mostly, almost entirely outside of my influence or control. So my attitude now is a sort of acceptance that I'm not all-powerful or massively important, and I'm focussing on doing my best where I CAN make a difference.

 

P.S. I do not wish to imply that any of you is an egotist in any way - but it is actually really hard letting our conscious mind accept our lack of power in such matters. Please don't think I'm unsympathetic or fail to understand - for me this was a matter of being present in my own life rather than diverting/splitting myself. As far as I know, we only have a finite amount of time on this earth, and I've wasted too many years already, so I'm damned if I'm going to carry on doing so.

Again, I understand the worldview.

 

To be honest I don't think we differ that much - I think that a person, or enough people, can make a difference, but there are indeed specific areas for everyone where there's more of a chance for that. But I do think enough people, whatever their providence, thinking the same thing can change the world - sometimes just one is enough - and that is worth spending a life going for, and the day I stop believing that is the day they can measure me for pine.

 

Perhaps one day I'll shift personality type and think differently, I guess time will tell.

[SpacedX]

29 minutes ago, leicsmac said:

Again, I understand the worldview.

 

To be honest I don't think we differ that much - I think that a person, or enough people, can make a difference, but there are indeed specific areas for everyone where there's more of a chance for that. But I do think enough people, whatever their providence, thinking the same thing can change the world - sometimes just one is enough - and that is worth spending a life going for, and the day I stop believing that is the day they can measure me for pine.

 

Perhaps one day I'll shift personality type and think differently, I guess time will tell.

I was reminded today with the sad passing of Jamal Edwards of a quote that he lived his life by. Mahatma Gandhi said "be the change you wish to see in the world". Actually, he didn't - that's a popular myth which endures through car bumper stickers, motivational memes and fridge magnets. What he actually said was this:

 

“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.” 

 

I do understand and relate to the powerless feelings that @HighPeakFox refers to. 'Control the controllable'. 

 

That you embody change for the better Mac is something to cherish and so rooted in your core values that, although these are emergent and in flux throughout our life, I think that it is the one constant that you can be assured of holding on to. 

 

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" - actually, not a bad maxim to uphold through life, particularly given the environmental catastrophe that falls upon our generation and the next to avert. 

Edited 21 February 2022 by Line-X

[HighPeakFox]

Bearing in mind the premise of the thread, I'll not respond further because we risk diverting the topic and potentially alienating those having a bad time. 

 

Stay well everyone. 

[MPH]

Hello everyone. Just checking in on our regular posters in here to see how you all are doing? For those that have anxiety thrown into the mix I can imagine right now is an extremely unsettling time!  Just wanted you all to know you are not forgotten!

 

 

Much love to you all and let us know how you are doing!

[Ian Nacho]

In November I caught covid and, ever since I been extremely exhausted all the time, had little motivation and not had much enjoyment in the things I usually do; I put this down to “long covid”. After months of a cocktail of supplements which have been recommended on various online forums to tackle long covid have had little to no effect, a visit to the GP with nothing untoward (common with long covid suffers) it’s dawned on me, there could be more to it.
 

I was reading Matt Piper’s book and he speaks about how he used to persuade his mates to turn a quiet night out into a boozy one all as an excuse to get on the drink; I’ve realised I do the exact same and I genuinely cannot remember the last social event I’ve been to which hasn’t involved drink. Football, an excuse to get pissed; a meal out, an excuse to get pissed; hell I’d even go out and get pissed in bars by myself. I know alcohol consumption doesn’t automatically mean I am unhappy but surely it’s highlighting an underlying issue when I have no real interest in any social activity that doesn’t involve drink. It’s got to the point no where I have no social life outside drinking, which makes me unhappy, so where do you go to meet new people? The pub. 
 

Back to the covid point, because of the psychical effects (exhaustion and headaches) I’m feeling everyday, I just assumed that there was something physically wrong with me, but now the more I think about it, it could all be in my mind?

 

I know the above message has been a little bit all over the place, but I would find some solace in knowing if it does sound if how I am feeling right now sounds like signs of depression. Thanks. 

[HighPeakFox]

1 hour ago, Ian Nacho said:

In November I caught covid and, ever since I been extremely exhausted all the time, had little motivation and not had much enjoyment in the things I usually do; I put this down to “long covid”. After months of a cocktail of supplements which have been recommended on various online forums to tackle long covid have had little to no effect, a visit to the GP with nothing untoward (common with long covid suffers) it’s dawned on me, there could be more to it.
 

I was reading Matt Piper’s book and he speaks about how he used to persuade his mates to turn a quiet night out into a boozy one all as an excuse to get on the drink; I’ve realised I do the exact same and I genuinely cannot remember the last social event I’ve been to which hasn’t involved drink. Football, an excuse to get pissed; a meal out, an excuse to get pissed; hell I’d even go out and get pissed in bars by myself. I know alcohol consumption doesn’t automatically mean I am unhappy but surely it’s highlighting an underlying issue when I have no real interest in any social activity that doesn’t involve drink. It’s got to the point no where I have no social life outside drinking, which makes me unhappy, so where do you go to meet new people? The pub. 
 

Back to the covid point, because of the psychical effects (exhaustion and headaches) I’m feeling everyday, I just assumed that there was something physically wrong with me, but now the more I think about it, it could all be in my mind?

 

I know the above message has been a little bit all over the place, but I would find some solace in knowing if it does sound if how I am feeling right now sounds like signs of depression. Thanks. 

Well it might well be, but my first thought is that you may have identified a drink issue, and only you can decide how severe you think it is. It might be that Covid has (oddly) helped your body to talk to you about your drinking, and the exhaustion might be a sign of it saying 'enough'.

 

Now, do you drink because you have underlying depression? It's not uncommon, but again, only you can find that out. Perhaps 3 weeks off the booze (which is one school of thought as the number of days needed to create a new habit) and see what happens as a result. If you do it, try to plan your time, otherwise you risk daydreaming about booze...

 

Hope that is helpful in some way.

[chrishlcfc]

Had my worst few days in ages. In fact possibly ever, just feel like I don’t want to try and live anymore.

 

Can’t even face going to work had Friday off and today off. My head actually physically hurts with all the thoughts that are going round it right now. 

[Crinklyfox]

15 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Had my worst few days in ages. In fact possibly ever, just feel like I don’t want to try and live anymore.

 

Can’t even face going to work had Friday off and today off. My head actually physically hurts with all the thoughts that are going round it right now. 

One of the problems with depression is that any kind of future can just vanish and you can only see more of what you have right now but that isn't reality for the vast majority.

 

If you can just imagine what it would be like to have a different life - one where your current problems didn't exist.  You wouldn't want to end that life.  For most of us we can escape from many of the problems that we have given time and support.  And although it might not seem palatable, any alternative life may be better than throwing away the one you have.  

 

I don't know your problems so can't even offer a best guess as to how to navigate a away out of them, but I do know that for most of us there is a way through problems but you may need help finding it.  Good friends and family may be able to help.

[foxfanazer]

15 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Had my worst few days in ages. In fact possibly ever, just feel like I don’t want to try and live anymore.

 

Can’t even face going to work had Friday off and today off. My head actually physically hurts with all the thoughts that are going round it right now. 

Sorry to hear this mate. I have the exact same feeling every now and then but I'm getting better at reminding myself that those feelings aren't a constant and it's the depression tricking my brain. It's really hard to think logically when you're in the depth of it though. 

 

Stay strong pal and inbox me if you need to vent or whatever

[chrishlcfc]

Bit scared right now. I’ve never struggled like this or for as long as this. It’s been over a week now. I didn’t work at all last week.

 

Im genuinely thinking about checking in to some sort of rehab clinic or mental health hospital. I don’t feel I can go on like this.

 

Obviously I really don’t want to have to section myself or anything like that particularly, does anyone have any ideas what I can do.

 

I don’t really feel the doctors are supporting me enough to be honest, all they do is just up my medication but that just has not and does not seem to work.

 

My thoughts are so bad that I have been in physical pain with my head all week. I just can’t take it anymore.

 

This would be a huge step to take as my dad and most of my family don’t even know how much I’m struggling and I don’t feel I can speak so I just suffer in silence apart from speaking to friends.

Edited 12 March 2022 by chrishlcfc

[kyleolly]

18 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Bit scared right now. I’ve never struggled like this or for as long as this. It’s been over a week now. I didn’t work at all last week.

 

Im genuinely thinking about checking in to some sort of rehab clinic or mental health hospital. I don’t feel I can go on like this.

 

Obviously I really don’t want to have to section myself or anything like that particularly, does anyone have any ideas what I can do.

 

I don’t really feel the doctors are supporting me enough to be honest, all they do is just up my medication but that just has not and does not seem to work.

 

My thoughts are so bad that I have been in physical pain with my head all week. I just can’t take it anymore.

 

This would be a huge step to take as my dad and most of my family don’t even know how much I’m struggling and I don’t feel I can speak so I just suffer in silence apart from speaking to friends.

Call 03003230187 which is mental health matters in Leicestershire you can do a self referral but just speak to somebody 💙 

[cropstonfox]

15 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Bit scared right now. I’ve never struggled like this or for as long as this. It’s been over a week now. I didn’t work at all last week.

 

Im genuinely thinking about checking in to some sort of rehab clinic or mental health hospital. I don’t feel I can go on like this.

 

Obviously I really don’t want to have to section myself or anything like that particularly, does anyone have any ideas what I can do.

 

I don’t really feel the doctors are supporting me enough to be honest, all they do is just up my medication but that just has not and does not seem to work.

 

My thoughts are so bad that I have been in physical pain with my head all week. I just can’t take it anymore.

 

This would be a huge step to take as my dad and most of my family don’t even know how much I’m struggling and I don’t feel I can speak so I just suffer in silence apart from speaking to friends.

We often find it hard and reach out to family, due to us not wanting to worry or burden them. As a parent I would suggest you speak with a family member .They would be heart broken not to be able to support you. Talking can be such a relief, we all need to be heard in times of depression and despair.

[chrishlcfc]

8 minutes ago, cropstonfox said:

We often find it hard and reach out to family, due to us not wanting to worry or burden them. As a parent I would suggest you speak with a family member .They would be heart broken not to be able to support you. Talking can be such a relief, we all need to be heard in times of depression and despair.

Yeah I know it’s the way it’s done and recommended. I told my mum months ago and to be honest she didn’t/couldn’t help me at all. I don’t blame her for this and think it’s because she has similar problems herself. I speak with my sister but probably not enough, I find it really difficult to tell her how bad I actually feel.

[chrishlcfc]

11 minutes ago, kyleolly said:

Call 03003230187 which is mental health matters in Leicestershire you can do a self referral but just speak to somebody 💙 

Thanks I’ll look into this. 

[cropstonfox]

28 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Yeah I know it’s the way it’s done and recommended. I told my mum months ago and to be honest she didn’t/couldn’t help me at all. I don’t blame her for this and think it’s because she has similar problems herself. I speak with my sister but probably not enough, I find it really difficult to tell her how bad I actually feel.

It's never easy to show vulnerability to a loved one. Your sister would want to support you, trust me. Remember there is no weakness in speaking out, infact it's the opposite it gives you hope and strength to carry on. Go back to your GP and explain medication is not working or the way forward for you.

[ajthefox]

On 12/03/2022 at 21:23, chrishlcfc said:

Bit scared right now. I’ve never struggled like this or for as long as this. It’s been over a week now. I didn’t work at all last week.

 

Im genuinely thinking about checking in to some sort of rehab clinic or mental health hospital. I don’t feel I can go on like this.

 

Obviously I really don’t want to have to section myself or anything like that particularly, does anyone have any ideas what I can do.

 

I don’t really feel the doctors are supporting me enough to be honest, all they do is just up my medication but that just has not and does not seem to work.

 

My thoughts are so bad that I have been in physical pain with my head all week. I just can’t take it anymore.

 

This would be a huge step to take as my dad and most of my family don’t even know how much I’m struggling and I don’t feel I can speak so I just suffer in silence apart from speaking to friends.

 

23 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Yeah I know it’s the way it’s done and recommended. I told my mum months ago and to be honest she didn’t/couldn’t help me at all. I don’t blame her for this and think it’s because she has similar problems herself. I speak with my sister but probably not enough, I find it really difficult to tell her how bad I actually feel.

Sorry to hear you're struggling mate, sounds like you're having a really tough time. It's not nice waking up feeling like you've got a battle ahead of you every day.

Telling my parents I'd thought about killing myself was one of the hardest, most courageous things I think I've ever done. Having to say the words and seeing the gravity of what I was saying dawn on them was awful. But it helped. All they wanted to do was be there for me. I'm sure your family are the same.

 

Sending positive thoughts your way. Keep going, step by step. Day by day. You will get through it.