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Pinkman

Depression

By Pinkman, in General Chat

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Leeds Fox

Leeds Fox

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This thread really gets to me. I wish I could be of some help but it would just come across as insincere and patronising. 

 

If there are any fellow foxes up in Yorkshire who could do with a chat, someone to watch the City with or just an impartial set of ears to listen... give me a shout. 

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chuck'em

chuck'em

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4 minutes ago, Leeds Fox said:

This thread really gets to me. I wish I could be of some help but it would just come across as insincere and patronising. 

 

If there are any fellow foxes up in Yorkshire who could do with a chat, someone to watch the City with or just an impartial set of ears to listen... give me a shout. 

I'll echo this but for the greater Manchester area. I've never suffered myself but have lost 2 close friends who were suffering from depression and other mental illnesses. I'm here to chat to anyone who needed it. 

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HowardsBulletHeader

HowardsBulletHeader

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8 hours ago, Leeds Fox said:

This thread really gets to me. I wish I could be of some help but it would just come across as insincere and patronising. 

 

If there are any fellow foxes up in Yorkshire who could do with a chat, someone to watch the City with or just an impartial set of ears to listen... give me a shout. 

 

8 hours ago, chuck'em said:

I'll echo this but for the greater Manchester area. I've never suffered myself but have lost 2 close friends who were suffering from depression and other mental illnesses. I'm here to chat to anyone who needed it. 

Hi both,

 

Everyone in this thread would appreciate any form of help you can offer, so your offers of an ear will be greatly appreciated. 

 

I don't have a great knowledge of depression like some of the guys in here, but I have learnt I can help where certain experiences relate to what I have experienced or seen. For example, the fella in here talking about university life. Whilst I have a limited knowledge of depression, it wasn't so long ago I was at uni and knew about that side of things. So I posted what I knew about the university networks of support. 

 

I suppose what I'm getting at is that depression is situational in some instances. Sometimes there may be a situation that has happened to you or close family, that is having an depressive (is that even a word?!) impact on someone else and you may be able to help.

 

Even if you're not sure it will help, if you're at least trying people will appreciate it. Let's face it, they don't have to take your advice, they can just ignore it! But who knows, it might trigger something for someone else to contribute something that will help. 

 

Everyone will appreciate you taking the time to post in this thread, this thread is like no other. 

 

Keep posting when you feel you can help and I'm sure you will surprise yourselves. 

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FoxNotFox

FoxNotFox

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10 hours ago, Leeds Fox said:

I wish I could be of some help but it would just come across as insincere and patronising. 

Honest words never sound that.

 

My wife struggles with knowing what to say to me sometimes. She says she can't help me because she's not trained, so she says nothing. That leaves me feeling isolated and alone. Believe me, anything you say (so long as it is from the heart) is better than silence. Don't be afraid, you won't say the wrong thing if you genuinely care. From my perspective, it's not really the words that you hear that help, it's knowing that someone cares enough to say them. It's knowing that someone is there and that you're not alone.

 

I've even said to my wife that if she wants to tell me to f* off, because she's had enough of me/it, then I'd understand that too (and I genuinely would) If she felt that way then it'd be better for her to be honest about it because it's better for us both. Now if you want cliches then how about this one - it's all about honesty. Often said and its true imo.   

 

Of course, that pertains to the personal relationship situation. On a forum, you're obviously not obliged to say anything... but don't let being afraid of saying the 'wrong' thing stop you either.  

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urban.spaceman

urban.spaceman

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Really ****ing volatile couple of weeks. Then today the taxman sends me a cheque for a few hundred quid out of the blue. Which cheers me up then makes me annoyed as it’s basically an acknowledgement at how shite everything is and that I’m earning so little that the government feels the need to step in. Could really do with a holiday though. Adjusting to new meds is interesting. 

 

Ta. X

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Buce

Buce

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9 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

Really ****ing volatile couple of weeks. Then today the taxman sends me a cheque for a few hundred quid out of the blue. Which cheers me up then makes me annoyed as it’s basically an acknowledgement at how shite everything is and that I’m earning so little that the government feels the need to step in. Could really do with a holiday though. Adjusting to new meds is interesting. 

 

Ta. X

 

 

Sounds like a good use for it, imo.

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Great Boos Up

Great Boos Up

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Just an update from nearly a year. I can say that depression is a long term issue.

From the outside (me) it's a long slog but for my wife it's been challenging.

I've changed the way we live to support her; trying to do little things to release the pressure.

She has kept up with medication and after going on the sick we arranged a settlement with her employers.

For those who are currently not attending work with depression and on the sick; they paid four thousand pound for a part time job.

She has started driving again but only to school and back. Our autistic son has started secondary school and is really not coping.

Don't be concerned; it's part of our process to gain him an ECHP. As he not violent ( he's the opposite : sensory) we will get this in time.

My wife now has the purpose to achieve something with constructive pressure. Get our son to school. He only does two lessons.

I take the financial burden ( which means no football tickets and less beer and all luxuries ) Hence I play so much pokemon go. It's my little release to go on a wonder.

Just a little note to others who may be supporting loved ones with depression: less is more, little and often, it's a long haul so make time for yourself too.

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sylofox

sylofox

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On 20/11/2018 at 23:43, Leeds Fox said:

This thread really gets to me. I wish I could be of some help but it would just come across as insincere and patronising. 

 

If there are any fellow foxes up in Yorkshire who could do with a chat, someone to watch the City with or just an impartial set of ears to listen... give me a shout. 

 

On 20/11/2018 at 23:52, chuck'em said:

I'll echo this but for the greater Manchester area. I've never suffered myself but have lost 2 close friends who were suffering from depression and other mental illnesses. I'm here to chat to anyone who needed it. 

Great offer from you both. From my point of view it's so much easier talking to a stranger than a loved one or friend. 

 

Some of the so called professional help is a waste of time. They don't understand example. 

 

"Do you feel suicidal atm" 

 

" No but I do wake up some days wishing I was dead and is this all worth it" 

 

" So you feel suicidal then" 

 

And that was someone from Wellbeing that's supposed to understand. Izzy gets it he's helped me a couple of times. 

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urban.spaceman

urban.spaceman

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On 22/11/2018 at 11:04, sylofox said:

 

Great offer from you both. From my point of view it's so much easier talking to a stranger than a loved one or friend. 

 

Some of the so called professional help is a waste of time. They don't understand example. 

 

"Do you feel suicidal atm" 

 

" No but I do wake up some days wishing I was dead and is this all worth it" 

 

" So you feel suicidal then" 

 

And that was someone from Wellbeing that's supposed to understand. Izzy gets it he's helped me a couple of times. 

Jesus Christ I had such a chillingly similar experience the first time. Though that was provided for free by the NHS but she was ****ing hopeless. I’d turn up, she’d give me a form on a clipboard to fill in while she pissed about on her phone. Then she’d talk to me in a deeply uncaring and uninterested kind of way and would be utterly hopeless with in terms of regularity of appointments. 

 

Couple of years later in the midst of a bereavement I scrambled the money together and went private. SHE was ****ing amazing. Understanding, caring, loving, helpful, hopeful, warm and genuine. 

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lifted*fox

lifted*fox

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1 minute ago, HighPeakFox said:

Mate, I know how that feels. Go and get a little air before it gets dark, get the blood moving.

 

Been desperate to get myself out for a run this weekend but can't bring myself to put the shoes on and get out the door.

 

No amount of encouragement is gonna make it happen today, I'm afraid - even though I know I'd feel better.

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Izzy

Izzy

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28 minutes ago, lifted*fox said:

 

Me, today. 

 

What is the ****ing point, in anything.

Because sometimes you unexpectedly get to meet legends like me who brighten up your day mate :)

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HighPeakFox

HighPeakFox

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7 minutes ago, lifted*fox said:

 

Been desperate to get myself out for a run this weekend but can't bring myself to put the shoes on and get out the door.

 

No amount of encouragement is gonna make it happen today, I'm afraid - even though I know I'd feel better.

Just shuffle round the block, anything....no need to run.

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Izzy

Izzy

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2 minutes ago, lifted*fox said:

 

not often enough unfortunately :sleep:

Just say the word bro and I'll get in the car and come up and see you again anytime.

 

You're a top bloke Daz and you've got so much to offer the world. Love ya mate :thumbup:

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lifted*fox

lifted*fox

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thank you mate, I appreciate it. 

 

just having one of those negative days for some unfathomable reason

 

i feel like I should have done more with the weekend but I've just sat about feeling sorry for myself and I feel annoyed about it. 

 

need to pull my head out of my arse this week

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HighPeakFox

HighPeakFox

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36 minutes ago, lifted*fox said:

thank you mate, I appreciate it. 

 

just having one of those negative days for some unfathomable reason

 

i feel like I should have done more with the weekend but I've just sat about feeling sorry for myself and I feel annoyed about it. 

 

need to pull my head out of my arse this week

Accept yourself - we all do it, believe me, and there's going to be nobody to wag their finger at you tomorrow.

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Great Boos Up

Great Boos Up

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4 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

 

Been desperate to get myself out for a run this weekend but can't bring myself to put the shoes on and get out the door.

 

No amount of encouragement is gonna make it happen today, I'm afraid - even though I know I'd feel better.

Have you tried Pokémon Go. No running but it's quite immersive but can give a sense of achievement. Or an old trick I sometimes use is to get to a golf range, even if you don't like golf or are can't play no one interferes or judges. It's quite a physical release.

If your not leaving your couch do not watch general films or reality TV. They have too much subliminal emotional social commentary going on. Comedy or documentary. Eat a Cereal; trust me.

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urban.spaceman

urban.spaceman

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On 24/11/2018 at 02:51, leicsmac said:

https://www.dealchecker.co.uk/cheap-holidays/under/400.html

 

Here you go mate, take your pick.

 

Do you want somewhere hot or cold?

Thanks for the link mate I don’t know how I’ve never come across that one before! Somewhere warm would be ideal but then the other day I got Dublin in my head! 

On 24/11/2018 at 07:35, Buce said:

 

Does that include spending money?

Depends on if I include the drugs and women I had planned. 

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