ADHD

[FoxyPV]

Any fellow ADHDers here?

[Saxondale]

My wife reckons I might have it; she could be right.

[shade]

yes I've got...hey what's that over there?

[Raj]

21 minutes ago, Saxondale said:

My wife reckons I might have it; she could be right.

Mine too!

Being a 50 year and enduring the highly accompanied Mundella school for my education I was tarred as just abit of a naughty boy who cant concentrate. Hence I was mega crap at exams and studying.

I'm sure nowadays I'd have been classed as adhd.

[Izzy]

I don't have ADHD myself, but I once had an interesting meeting a few years ago with a chap who did. We were introduced through a mutual contact to discuss a potential joint business venture. He was in his early 50's and a very successful exec recruiter/headhunter.

 

I met him in a Starbucks near his offices in South Kensington and I'll never forget how he introduced himself. He said something on the lines of...

 

"Hi, I'm Tony, pleased to meet you. Before we start chatting, I just want to let you know that I have ADHD. What that means is you'll probably see me fidgeting a lot and unable to sit still. I also have a tendency to jump in when someone else is talking - I don't mean to be rude. I've also got quite a short attention span so forgive me if I occasionally drift off mid conversation - it's nothing personal...."

 

I was a bit taken aback but I really admired his honesty. It was a good meeting but I was very aware of his behaviour and it meant I could understood his actions.

 

Nice bloke and it taught me a lesson about being open, honest, and vulnerable with people, to help build trust.

[Aus Fox]

Another member of the ADHD club here!!

[Mike the Metal Ed]

Being passed around various mental health services, after a brief phone assessment where the immediate impression was they couldn't tell if I had ADHD or autism! (No acknowledgement from the service they're often comorbid)

So now I have to wait for the third service I've been passed onto to contact me.

[FoxyPV]

There's a big overlap between ASD and ADHD.

 

Common traits:

Restiveness

Hyper fixation

Appearance of inattention

Constant interruption (this is a sign you want to bond with the person)

Addiction

Forgetfulness

Boundless energy

Flitting between hobbies and never finishing any

 

Love bombing - a new person gets all your attention to the detriment of others

Inappropriate conversations

Oversharing (often to your detriment)

Over familiarity

 

There are lots more but I've had a few beers this evening

Edited 2 January 2022 by FoxyPV
Update

[FoxyPV]

If you're not diagnosed, get on the list as meds make a big difference.

 

I still forget things (drive 20miles to my brothers and forgot all the Christmas presents) but good days outweigh the bad 

 

The irony is that I'm a project manager and super organised in work.

[Buzzell]

No but my brother does.

[Mike the Metal Ed]

1 hour ago, FoxyPV said:

If you're not diagnosed, get on the list as meds make a big difference.

 

I still forget things (drive 20miles to my brothers and forgot all the Christmas presents) but good days outweigh the bad 

 

The irony is that I'm a project manager and super organised in work.

I've been on the waiting list since 2018 with no help other than "wait for letters to turn up, we'll let you know."

 

Gonna chase this new service once the working week begins properly again though, cos I'm sick of being passed around and then getting the silent treatment for months.

[Lcfc_lass10]

7 hours ago, Mike the Metal Ed said:

I've been on the waiting list since 2018 with no help other than "wait for letters to turn up, we'll let you know."

 

Gonna chase this new service once the working week begins properly again though, cos I'm sick of being passed around and then getting the silent treatment for months.

Sorry to hear that. Is this through your GP or Secondary Care?

Edited 2 January 2022 by Lcfc_lass10

[RumbleFox]

Similar story. Been waiting over a year for diagnosis. I had to chase my GP (first one started the conversation with “so what’s wrong with you then?” Then just accused me of being tired and when I said I was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate said “what do you donfor a living?” I said “currently I’m the primary carer for our baby so I’m taking 6 months off work” to which she replied “so what do you need to concentrate on then”. Awful experience, I’ll admit it left me in tears. You read and read and hear all the time on tv that you should contact the GP of you are concerned about your mental health then they’re fvcking useless. Anyway sorry, rambling. In the end I spoke to another, much better, GP who referred me. Did the questionnaire and had a phone interview but waiting on face to face. Been over 12 months now.

 

I know it’s not life threatening but it’s so frustrating not knowing. My entire life would make a lot more sense if I had a diagnosis and I’d be able to be much much kinder to myself. X

[Mike the Metal Ed]

I actually finally got my diagnosis in February, so I've been on Ritalin since. Things have been better, marginally, but it's not a silver bullet. Right now waiting for my shared care to go through and I'm out of meds, so it's a still a struggle might chase that this afternoon, but fact is I'll probably have to face a job interview without them on Monday. Which is probably fine, every time I've passed a job interview in the past I've done it unmedicated, so it's no different.

[Mike the Metal Ed]

Also the first football match I had to watch while just starting the meds (so the effects felt more pronounced) was the West Ham home game, which is probably why I stood up and yelled at Amartey and Cags to ****ing do something other than pass it to each other, because it was the first game I could actually pay attention in long spells.

[LiberalFox]

Yes.

[RumbleFox]

Just sitting waiting for my assessment. It’s finally here. Starts in 5 minutes. Xx 

[Greg2607]

5 minutes ago, RumbleFox said:

Just sitting waiting for my assessment. It’s finally here. Starts in 5 minutes. Xx 

Good Luck Sir. 

[FoxesDeb]

28 minutes ago, RumbleFox said:

Just sitting waiting for my assessment. It’s finally here. Starts in 5 minutes. Xx 

I hope it goes well, let us know how you get on 

[RumbleFox]

Well. That was me officially diagnosed in less than an hour after 2 years on the waiting list haha. Thank fvck. Feels amazing to know I’m not just a lazy twat. 

[Bellend Sebastian]

2 minutes ago, RumbleFox said:

Well. That was me officially diagnosed in less than an hour after 2 years on the waiting list haha. Thank fvck. Feels amazing to know I’m not just a lazy twat. 

Not everyone likes being labelled but a lot of folk like to know what's actually going on. Sounds like you're in the latter camp?

 

Also guessing you're not suffering with it as much as the person I heard about yesterday that couldn't even make it to the end of the assessment

 

[RumbleFox]

7 minutes ago, Bellend Sebastian said:

Not everyone likes being labelled but a lot of folk like to know what's actually going on. Sounds like you're in the latter camp?

 

Also guessing you're not suffering with it as much as the person I heard about yesterday that couldn't even make it to the end of the assessment

 

I don’t see it as a label, I see it as a means to understand myself and be a lot lot kinder to myself about many of the things I’ve beaten myself up over over the years.

 

I don’t think I find it helpful to say one person has it “more” than another. People suffer from, and react to things in different, equally valid ways. 

Edited 1 November 2022 by RumbleFox

[Bellend Sebastian]

1 hour ago, RumbleFox said:

I don’t see it as a label, I see it as a means to understand myself and be a lot lot kinder to myself about many of the things I’ve beaten myself up over over the years.

 

I don’t think I find it helpful to say one person has it “more” than another. People suffer from, and react to things in different, equally valid ways. 

At the risk of speaking for others I think those working in this field would say that's EXACTLY the point of getting a diagnosis.

 

When I think about it, in my experience the labelling thing is more of an issue for parents or those looking out for the interests of the person who might have the condition rather than the person themselves, whether that be because of worries about stigma, 'othering' and stuff like that. If you're actually living with something, I struggle to imagine anything other than wanting to know what's going on. I've seen folk discouraged from that sort of thinking in the past and I think that's really unhelpful.

 

I'm being well nosey but other than you being kinder to yourself (which I know it's early but I hope has started) does your diagnosis have any other practical implications going forward?

 

 

Edited 1 November 2022 by Bellend Sebastian

[ClaphamFox]

1 hour ago, Bellend Sebastian said:

At the risk of speaking for others I think those working in this field would say that's EXACTLY the point of getting a diagnosis.

 

When I think about it, in my experience the labelling thing is more of an issue for parents or those looking out for the interests of the person who might have the condition rather than the person themselves, whether that be because of worries about stigma, 'othering' and stuff like that. If you're actually living with something, I struggle to imagine anything other than wanting to know what's going on. I've seen folk discouraged from that sort of thinking in the past and I think that's really unhelpful.

 

I'm being well nosey but other than you being kinder to yourself (which I know it's early but I hope has started) does your diagnosis have any other practical implications going forward?

 

 

It can be a dilemma for parents, definitely. I've posted extensively about my son in the 'Autism' thread. Long story short: we became aware he had additional challenges when he was three and the consensus among the various therapists, paediatricians and psychologists we saw was that he had high functioning autism. We began the ADOS process and applied for an EHCP to ensure he gets the right support at nursery/school. He was granted the EHCP last March and began school in September.

 

We paused the ADOS just before it was due to go to panel for final diagnosis in the summer. We did this for two main reasons: 1) He was coming along so well that we were nervous about fixing a label to him at a time when he was developing in so many ways; 2) We were worried about stigma and fact that he might not want the label when he's older. So we decided to just wait and see how things went for a while before pressing ahead with the diagnosis. This is where we're at now.

 

He's now flourishing at school. His communication skills are coming on leaps and bounds and he has few of the repetitive behaviours or intense interests that are often found in people with autism. His main challenges are concentration and emotional regulation, both of which continue to be an issue. We're still undecided about whether we should go ahead with a diagnosis or not - for now, we're just monitoring him to see how things go. However, we still don't know whether this is the right approach or whether he'd be better off with a diagnosis...

 

Edited 1 November 2022 by ClaphamFox

[Bellend Sebastian]

2 hours ago, ClaphamFox said:

It can be a dilemma for parents, definitely. I've posted extensively about my son in the 'Autism' thread. Long story short: we became aware he had additional challenges when he was three and the consensus among the various therapists, paediatricians and psychologists we saw was that he had high functioning autism. We began the ADOS process and applied for an EHCP to ensure he gets the right support at nursery/school. He was granted the EHCP last March and began school in September.

 

We paused the ADOS just before it was due to go to panel for final diagnosis in the summer. We did this for two main reasons: 1) He was coming along so well that we were nervous about fixing a label to him at a time when he was developing in so many ways; 2) We were worried about stigma and fact that he might not want the label when he's older. So we decided to just wait and see how things went for a while before pressing ahead with the diagnosis. This is where we're at now.

 

He's now flourishing at school. His communication skills are coming on leaps and bounds and he has few of the repetitive behaviours or intense interests that are often found in people with autism. His main challenges are concentration and emotional regulation, both of which continue to be an issue. We're still undecided about whether we should go ahead with a diagnosis or not - for now, we're just monitoring him to see how things go. However, we still don't know whether this is the right approach or whether he'd be better off with a diagnosis...

 

Well that's always the dilemma isn't it, as to what the need for diagnosis is even if something is suspected. My niece, for example, got a diagnosis of her condition after various developmental milestones were met very, very late, and her parents just wanted to know what was going on, and the knock on has been getting access to additional educational resources and eventually going to a Special School. If she were still in a mainstream school it would have ended up being a nightmare for her as she was starting to struggle. Things got changed for her not because of the diagnosis, but because she was finding things difficult, so it comes back to the same thing again, the diagnosis is an explanation of what's going on more than anything else.

 

Glad to hear your lad is doing well, long may that continue. Did you get any feedback when you paused the ADOS? For goodness sake don't go on what I say as my knowledge is very much secondhand but my perception of those I know in this field is that there's unlikely to be much pressure to see things through right to a conclusion if the individual is doing well. They're no keener to label people than anyone else in my experience