The "Oh **** it's Christmas next week" thread

[Jattdogg]

1 minute ago, Parafox said:

 

We had a blocked toilet a few years ago and that looks very similar to the sight that greeted us upon opening the lid.

 

I'm sure it's delicious.

 

Happy Christmas. 

Might want to get that checked out if your pooing red stuff.

[Bordersfox]

Just now, Parafox said:

 

We had a blocked toilet a few years ago and that looks very similar to the sight that greeted us upon opening the lid.

 

I'm sure it's delicious.

 

Happy Christmas. 

Had you and your wife gone in heavy on red wine and fibre rich food prior to said blockage? 

[Blarmy]

Cooking for nine. Turkey is brining, homemade S & O stuffing, cauliflower cheese, cranberry sauce and gravy all done and fridged. Made a mushroom soup to start and have also rolled my own pigs in blankets. Mash, roast potatoes and the veg will all be done tomorrow.

 

Big effort but it’s what Christmas is all about for me.

[Parafox]

Just now, Bordersfox said:

Had you and your wife gone in heavy on red wine and fibre rich food prior to said blockage? 

 

We always do 

[Daggers]

There’s not a day goes by that I don’t weep because my kids don’t like football and I can’t give them awesome presents. 
 

 

[tom27111]

2 hours ago, Bordersfox said:

Had you and your wife gone in heavy on red wine and fibre rich food prior to said blockage? 

 

Strangely, red wine and anything with a high iron content turns my poo a very dark, almost black, green.

 

Google it. Its a real thing. 

 

On second thoughts, don't Google it.

 

Merry Christmas everyone 

[Lionator]

I hope everyone has got their pork pie and branston pickle ready for breakfast. 

[Vacamion]

 

I have a bit of backache which has kept me awake a few nights and an absolute stinker of a cold. 

 

The tissues by my bed these last couple of nights were sad tissues, not happy tissues.

 

But still, a nip or two of medicinal single malt and I feel quite Christmassy.

 

 

[Bordersfox]

9 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

 

Strangely, red wine and anything with a high iron content turns my poo a very dark, almost black, green.

 

Google it. Its a real thing. 

 

On second thoughts, don't Google it.

 

Merry Christmas everyone 

The magic of Christmas in one post. 

[Vacamion]

12 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

 

Strangely, red wine and anything with a high iron content turns my poo a very dark, almost black, green.

 

Google it. Its a real thing. 

 

On second thoughts, don't Google it.

 

Merry Christmas everyone 

 

 

You need to go spinach and liver, or steak, washed down with Red Wine.   

 

It would glow in the dark 

[tom27111]

30 minutes ago, Vacamion said:

 

I have a bit of backache which has kept me awake a few nights and an absolute stinker of a cold. 

 

The tissues by my bed these last couple of nights were sad tissues, not happy tissues.

 

But still, a nip or two of medicinal single malt and I feel quite Christmassy.

 

 

 

I feel for you mate.

 

I'm still recovering from a slipped disc and the after effects that have made my neck hurt so much.

 

Both easing up a bit now.

 

With the cold, definitely a hot toddlie, whisky, lemon, honey and a cinnamon stick...plus, genuinely, my doctor said this to me..."Alcohol is a muscle relaxant, so it'll help your back" 

 

Hope you feel better soon.

[FoyleFox]

Coming as no surpise to anyone, this thread took a turn in a weird direction 

 

Anyway, hope you all have a lovely day, especially those of us with peasant carrots 

Edited 24 December 2023 by FoyleFox

[Daggers]

[tom27111]

1 minute ago, FoyleFox said:

Coming as no surpise to anyone, that thread took a turn in a weird direction 

 

Anyway, hope you all have a lovely day, especially those of us with peasant carrots 

 

I'll give you all a recipe for some banging honey roasted, Rosemary Chantenays for next year.

 

I don't know how readily available Chantenays are in Spain, so I didn't want to give @FoxesDeb an extra problem at the market 

 

But trust me, they're as good as the red cabbage.

 

Batons are fine for a normal roast, but not Xmas. Does anyone still cut carrots into little circles? Batons taste way better and I don't know why, but it's a fact.

[FoyleFox]

Sadly not a fan of the honey carrot, or honey with anything really. I did always used to get the chantenay carrots but got out of the habit the last couple of years. Remind me next year. 

 

My Mum is carrot circle woman. And I've no idea why batons taste better but they definitely do. 

[Dr The Singh]

Us Singh's kill it for xmas

https://youtu.be/cDoTGNdkMxw?si=VB4MpJd_lhxAyZ5i

 

 

[Dr The Singh]

9 minutes ago, Dr The Singh said:

Us Singh's kill it for xmas

https://youtu.be/cDoTGNdkMxw?si=VB4MpJd_lhxAyZ5i

 

 

Number 1 and 2 are ace

[Bellend Sebastian]

[tom27111]

6 minutes ago, Bellend Sebastian said:

 

What the fvck? 

[Bellend Sebastian]

2 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

 

What the fvck? 

It's yet more wonderful work from David Shrigley. It's a while since one of his proper tickled me but this made me laugh out loud when someone unhelpfully sent it to me in the middle of the Nativity service earlier

Edited 25 December 2023 by Bellend Sebastian

[tom27111]

2 minutes ago, Bellend Sebastian said:

It's yet more wonderful work from David Shrigley. It's a while since one of his proper tickled me but this made me laugh out loud when someone unhelpfully sent it to me in the middle of the Nativity service earlier

 

I haven't heard of him, but the drawing immediately reminded me of this...

 

 

 

Absolute class, and the wonderful Barry Davies 

 

 

[tom27111]

I've not taken the butter out of the fridge to make my parsley and lemon butter.

 

Fvck.

[Zear0]

16 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

I've not taken the butter out of the fridge to make my parsley and lemon butter.

 

Fvck.

You keep butter in the fridge? Egg-gate all over again. 

[tom27111]

I'm glad I only cook turkey once a year.

 

Thats the annual 3 minutes gagging done whist I dispose of the giblets, much to the amusement of the family.

[tom27111]

6 minutes ago, Zear0 said:

You keep butter in the fridge? Egg-gate all over again. 

 

Only if it's unopened. 

 

Once the packet is officially in use, it sits in a butter dish.

 

I'm not a monster.