The joke thread

[Parafox]

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

 

Dubai doesn't like the Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do

 

Stop recycling my jokes you cad, :xmastongue:

 

28 Dec 2012:

 

People in Saudi Arabia don't like the Flintstones...

But those in Abu Dhabi do...

[FoxyPV]

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

 

Dubai doesn't like the Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do

 

Just to be a ****.

 

It doesn't make sense, it would have to finish "Abu Dhabi does", to make sense, which would kill an already weak joke.

[separator]

Just to be a ****.

 

It doesn't make sense, it would have to finish "Abu Dhabi does", to make sense, which would kill an already weak joke.

:xmasbiggrin: yep, agree that's a weak joke but it made me laugh for some reason when I read it yesterday. Not sure this next 'joke' is any better though...

 

 

What did the Lone Ranger say to his partner when he got to the Canadian border?

 

Its onto Toronto pronto Tonto.

[Beliall]

I actually laughed. I do like short and stupid jokes.

[yorkie1999]

Who picks up guide dog shit?

[Beliall]

 

 

they do it at home or have walkers i believe

[Beliall]

Police are hunting an attacker who uses a knitting needle to stab people. They believe he could be following some kind of pattern.

[Trav Le Bleu]

Nigella Lawson is doing a TV special about what to do with your Christmas leftovers.

 

It's called Cold Turkey.

Edited 20 December 2013 by Trav Le Bleu

[Webbo]

:xmaslaugh: Tim Vine on BBC a few minutes ago;

 

Farmer: ,I've got 68 sheep, can you round them up for me?

 

Tim; Okay, 70.

Edited 23 December 2013 by Webbo

[Lamby]

Marks and Spencers have announced that Muslim employees will be excused from selling soap and other hygienic products on religious grounds.

[Captain...]

Marks and Spencers have announced that Muslim employees will be excused from selling soap and other hygienic products on religious grounds.

 

Really? They have enough stupid rules that you can legitimately make fun of, whereas you seem to be saying they are all smelly and dirty. Makes you sound like an ignorant bigot.

Edited 24 December 2013 by Captain Pancake Face

[Jimothy]

Marks and Spencers have announced that employees will be excused from serving Lamby because he's a ****.

Corrected it for you.

[Jimmy]

Seriously all the sick jokes that get posted and you pair of twats are offended by that joke?

[Jimothy]

Seriously all the sick jokes that get posted and you pair of twats are offended by that joke?

Even the sickest joke can be funny if it works. For instance the joke about the Clutha bar and the rota was a little offensive, but clever, it was funny, just wrong. Lambys "joke" is not clever, it's not a play on words, it's not thought provoking, it's just down right offensive. I can take an offensive joke if it's actually funny, this isn't, it's just offensive. It's one rung down from Frankie Boyles joke about Harvey Price.

[Jimmy]

And yet you did oh so original thing of editing his post in yours when you quoted it, I didn't find it funny but it hardly deserves you 2 getting all high and mighty over it

[Jimothy]

And yet you did oh so original thing of editing his post in yours when you quoted it, I didn't find it funny but it hardly deserves you 2 getting all high and mighty over it

I wouldn't say I'm getting high and mighty. Anyway the response, which I'm not pretending was original, was more in response to cumulative nature of Lamby's idiocy rather than just that joke.

[Captain...]

And yet you did oh so original thing of editing his post in yours when you quoted it, I didn't find it funny but it hardly deserves you 2 getting all high and mighty over it

 

So basically Lamby is saying that Muslims are smelly and dirty, and if you didn't find it funny, and nobody else has found it funny, then it doesn't count as a joke, so It is just an offensive comment.

[Jimmy]

So basically Lamby is saying that Muslims are smelly and dirty, and if you didn't find it funny, and nobody else has found it funny, then it doesn't count as a joke, so It is just an offensive comment.

No it's just a shit joke

[Jimothy]

No it's just a shit joke

But it's not even remotely funny, it doesn't even resemble a joke. It's just an offensive comment.

[Jimmy]

But it's not even remotely funny, it doesn't even resemble a joke. It's just an offensive comment.

I'm sure I could go through this thread and find loads just as bad that don't target Muslims but some other group, I doubt you'd have reacted like this you're being pathetic, 3 people have posted since, people may laugh when they read it later

[Stadt]

I think because it was posted by Lamby a bigger deal is being made out of it.

[Captain...]

No it's just a shit joke

 

A shit joke is: Marks and Spencers have announced that Muslim employees will be excused from serving people who yawn on religious grounds.

 

This is a shit joke because it relies on the knowledge of an obscure Muslim rule, that yawns are the work of satan

 

Lamby's comment is just offensive as the attempt at humour seems to be based around the assumption that everyone thinks Muslims are smelly and dirty, or even that it is a commonly held stereotype, which it really isn't, not like a stupid Irishman joke, we all know they are not all stupid, but it is playing up to a known stereotype. This is not a stereotype, it is the views of an ignorant bigot and the only people to find humour in it are ignorant bigots.

Edited 24 December 2013 by Captain Pancake Face

[Stadt]

Muslims being smelly is a stereotype?

[Captain...]

Muslims being smelly is a stereotype?

 

I didn't think so, unless I'm missing something.

 

Asda has made all of its Muslim employees redundant as their religion prevents them from selling alcohol or pork.

"We would have loved to have transferred them to roles that would be acceptable to their religion" said a spokesman, "but unfortunately we don't have a guns and explosives section."

 

You see the difference between the 2 jokes, the humour is in that all muslims are terrorists, which we all know isn't true, but it is a standard for jokes, calling them smelly dirty is just being offensive.

Edited 24 December 2013 by Captain Pancake Face

[Tom17LCFC]

I personally found his joke pretty hilarious