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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Trav Le Bleu

Trav Le Bleu

Posted
Posted

A recent survey has revealed that Americans are generally well prepared for any disaster. Many of them have a years supply of food stored away.

 

Which should last them 2 or 3 days.

  • 2 weeks later...
MPH

MPH

Posted
Posted

Just read that Banksy is giving up graffiti art and is retiring from public life...

Let's face it, the writing has been on the wall for a long time....

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

To rape the kiddie on the other side.

Beliall

Beliall

Posted
Posted

I just found an alphabet bomb!!

I'm glad it did'nt go off or it could have spelt 'disaster' :-S

:chant:  :chant:  :chant:  :chant:  :chant:  :chant:  :chant:  :chant:  :chant:  :chant:  :chant:  i love it  :pearson:

Bob Weasel Fox

Bob Weasel Fox

Posted
Posted (edited)

If you watch a Porn movie backwards, it's about 1 or 2 helpful guys hoovering the face of a lady with a heavy cold !! :-o

The police pulled me over today, after a tip-off I was hauling counterfeit goods.

They found nothing, so sent me on my way in my Freddie Stobart lorry.

Edited by Bob Weasel Fox
Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

Posted
Posted

My mate said he's looking forward to seeing Leicester play at Old Trafford next season.

I thought, what a pessimistic ****, his team are clear in the Championship and he still doesn't think they'll get promotion.

Beliall

Beliall

Posted
Posted

My mate said he's looking forward to seeing Leicester play at Old Trafford next season.

I thought, what a pessimistic ****, his team are clear in the Championship and he still doesn't think they'll get promotion.

 

lol

bovril

bovril

Posted
Posted

Well done to Lizzy Yarnold for winning Gold in the Olympics.The coaching provided by David Beckham on how to ride the skeleton was invaluable

 

lol  I like it.

  • Popular Post
Smudge

Smudge

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted (edited)

A man wakes up one morning in Wisconsin  to find a bear on his roof.
He looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."
He calls the number and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.
The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.
"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks?
"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in  the cage in the back of the van."
He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.
"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog......"

Edited by Smudge
  • Like 6

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