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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

Pier pressure getting to you?

 

 

Why so stern?

 

No, I harbour no grudges. Just surfing the Web. Any port in a storm, you know...

 

 

Right, I'm stopping this right now. I'm even beginning to piss myself off..... I'm just talking complete rowlocks!

Mike Oxlong

Mike Oxlong

Posted
Posted

I thought I hadn't been paying my wife much attention recently so, as it was her birthday on Friday, I decided I would give her a ring as a present.

Amazingly, that started another row. Because I rang her from the pub.

  • Like 4
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

My wife sent me a text saying she was in Casualty. So I sat down and watched it for 50 mins and didn't see her in it once. That was a few hours ago and she's still not back home. I wish she'd hurry up I'm bloody starving!

  • Like 2
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

My cat is recovering from a massive stroke.

I don't know why that made me laugh out loud, but it did.

Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted

What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't like the flintstones, but Abu Dhabi dooooooo

 

Oy, stop nicking my joke! I posted that a couple of years ago. It's all I have according to Stix. :P  lol

Renart

Renart

Posted
Posted

Waiter, waiter there's a fly in my wine.

 

Well, you did ask for something with a little body in it.

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MPH

MPH

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

My Neighbor came and knocked on my door this morning at 2.30am! Can you believe it, 2.30am!?  Luckily for him i was still up playing my drums.

  • Like 11
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

I've always had an irrational fear of women named Phoebe and have suffered problems with pedestrian walkways and the poet Sylvia Plath.

 

I've also become obsessed with the idea that the singer of 80s group Japan and the New York Dolls guitarist are going to set up an upmarket woodland restaurant.

 

Yep, I'm a Phoebephobic pathopathic Plathopath with a Sylvian / Sylvain Sylvain sylvan silver salver complex complex

 

 

Better do some work....

  • Like 2
separator

separator

Posted
Posted

I was at a funeral today and asked the priest for the WiFi password.

 

"Have some respect for the dead!" he said.

 

"Okay," I replied. "Is that all lower case without spaces?"

  • Like 4

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