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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted (edited)
30 minutes ago, TiffToff88 said:

Are you calling him a lyre?

 

No, but he had the brass neck to string a few figures together and call it a study.

 

I guess it's all about the lute.

Edited by Buce
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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

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Posted
3 minutes ago, TiffToff88 said:

Are you calling him a lyre?

 

Are you drumming up support for him? I reckon he's bassoon it on a story from a homeless oboe, when you need to castanet widely. It would be maraca-less if it were otherwise.

Though it is true that 97.2% of musicians visiting porn sites are sax maniacs. Don't want to harp on about that or blow my own trumpet. I'll only be accused of mandolin in other people's business or bugling their puns.

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Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Are you drumming up support for him? I reckon he's bassoon it on a story from a homeless oboe, when you need to castanet widely. It would be maraca-less if it were otherwise.

Though it is true that 97.2% of musicians visiting porn sites are sax maniacs. Don't want to harp on about that or blow my own trumpet. I'll only be accused of mandolin in other people's business or bugling their puns.

Well, that's taken all my puns up, cheers. :(

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

How about you all take your shit pubs and go jump off a tall clef.

 

4 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Puns. Obviously.

 

There was a young llama from Leicester

Who was known as a bit of a jester

He took his puns down the pub

Then gave himself a rub

Now in Wormwood Scrubs he'll fester

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted (edited)
36 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

 

There was a young llama from Leicester

Who was known as a bit of a jester

He took his puns down the pub

Then gave himself a rub

Now in Wormwood Scrubs he'll fester

 

A llama came into the thread

And quoth what came first to his head

That he dislikes our puns

But I'll stick to my guns

'gainst a beast who writes 'pubs' down instead.

 

 

 

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stretch1965

stretch1965

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Are you drumming up support for him? I reckon he's bassoon it on a story from a homeless oboe, when you need to castanet widely. It would be maraca-less if it were otherwise.

Though it is true that 97.2% of musicians visiting porn sites are sax maniacs. Don't want to harp on about that or blow my own trumpet. I'll only be accused of mandolin in other people's business or bugling their puns.

Brilliant!

and on that note.....

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

It's just been announced that David Beckham was bought in as a special adviser for the UK Bobsled team at the winter Olympics.

 

Apparently he's got at least 15 years experience of riding a skeleton

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Tuna

Tuna

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I came home from an auction today with a signed photo of Ronnie Corbett, while my mate took home a signed photo of Ronnie Barker.

 

It was a good buy from me and a good buy from him.

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Buce

Buce

Posted
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On 01/03/2018 at 11:18, Bob Weasel Fox said:

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster. But if anything, it only made him more sluggish.

 

24 minutes ago, Aus Fox said:

I have been getting into snail racing in a pretty serious way lately. To try and get a little advantage and make my snail more aerodynamic I tried removing his shell, but if anything it made him more sluggish.

 

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