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Daggers

The joke thread

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2 hours ago, Blarmy said:

No need to guess, weigh the furry bastards! I did something similar with lizards a few years back. Didn’t last long though - I (THEY) didn’t have any scales. 

Works better :thumbup:

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23 hours ago, Bob Weasel Fox said:

I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.  To be  honest  I only
intended to rough him up a bit.

 

9 hours ago, Bob Weasel Fox said:

My friend doesn’t like to talk about his psoriasis. 

He’d rather sweep it under the carpet

I prefer it when you simply post "come on Leicester"

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I went to the dentist for a bit of routine surgery, as soon as I sat in the chair he said “This is going to hurt a bit, are you read for it?”

“Yes, go ahead” I replied

He said “I’m sleeping with your wife”

Edited by Aus Fox
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On 09/05/2021 at 17:56, Buce said:

 

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is this stool taken?’

 

I heard he was hoping his mates would join him......

 

The bee came along for the buzz, the mosquito fancied a bite and the earwig popped out for a quick nip, but the snail has gone into his shell lately, while the millipede stayed at home to get his leg over....and his leg over....and his leg over...

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3 hours ago, Facecloth said:

My optician told me I'm colourblind today.

 

That came right out of the purple.

 

My optician told me I had to stop masturbating.

 

"Why?", I said, "will it make me go blind?"

 

"No", she said, "but the other people in the waiting room are complaining"

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4 minutes ago, MPH said:

My football team just had their end of season awards and I walked off with the player of the season award!

 

 

Guy who won it is fuming!

ill give you rep point for the timing. but thats it. its not an endorsement of the joke. 

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