Guest MattP Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Nearly killed myself when I was 18 and very drunk. Started showing off juggling and a friend passed me 3 brand new kitchen knives. Dropped the first one i tried to catch and when I went to pick it up there was blood all over my hand, trip to hospital and luckily missed the major veins in my wrist. Scared the crap out of me tho. Never tried juggling knives again. That reminds me, was on a balcony when I was about 18/19 in Magaluf and nearly went over it, this geezer from Southampton helped me and dragged me back ok, thanked him and we had a drink, was only the next morning I realised he probably saved my life, was about the 9th floor so would have been one hell of a fall.
NewburyFox Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Only last weekend I drank too much red wine at a barbecue that my lecturer threw, and I ended up vomiting all over his patio. He lives in Burton Waters (one of the nicest areas of Lincoln) and due to the nature of the apartments it's a shared patio. Not proud of that
Ashley Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Started my job at work and got told to go and get a bag of halal bacon out of the chillers!
Ashley Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Joined Foxestalk. I love you raj but people don't get your sense of humour. Bring back the old days!
MooseBreath Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Unintentionally, a post-op transvestite
Turtles Head Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Trying to talk to females while drunk. classic
Kitchandro Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Trying to talk to females. You got that right!
MC Prussian Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 My parents were once visiting friends of theirs one weekend. I must've been around 12, 13. They left for an hour or two and I had to wait at the friends' place, on my own. How kind. After a while, I got a bit upset and bored at the same time and went outside and discovered a haystack in a nearby field. I went back into the house, grabbed some matchsticks and started to light them, tossing them into the haystack. The haystack began to burn - you could see the steam developing. Slightly panicking, seeing what I'd done, I rushed back inside, grabbed the first container that I could find and filled a porcelain tea mug with water. Then I rushed back outside and started extinguishing the fire. It must've taken me about five to six attempts, but I somehow managed to put it all out. Just as my parents came back with their friends. No sweat.
Kitchandro Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 When I was about 8 me and my sister played a game called 'lets drop random items from the bedroom window onto the fence that is perilously close to the neighbour's car'. We'd almost run out of things when we spotted one of those rocks that weirdos like my sister collect...... More recently, getting wasted on Christmas Eve and then downing painkillers which I'm allergic to the next day was pretty stupid. I missed the entire day throwing up.
Lamby Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 classic I come out with classic lines such as "ah the bench is wet, you can sit on my lap instead"
MC Prussian Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 I remember this one time at age six or seven, when one of my mates next door invited me over for a little dare. He took his dad's compact electric brush cutter (you know, the small and handy ones you use to trim the edges), switched it on and started putting one of his fingers on top of the uppermost blade, without getting cut. Then he handed the grass cutter over to me and said: "Here, you try!" I switched the machine back on, started to tip my thumb on the blade, repeatedly. I managed quite well. Full of pride, with the machine still running in my hand, I looked up to my mate and said: "See, I can do it, too!" And then I screamed.
Vlad the Fox Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 My mate had a couple of old climbing ropes. We used to head off into the countryside in the summer and go camping on an old disused train embankment and do some bridge swinging. He would tie these old ropes to the bridge, pull them under and attach an harness while we got drunk and stoned. We'd then take turns jumping off the bridge. I've got to say the feeling you get when the rope pulls you under the bridge was immense. Can't believe none of us ever got hurt.
Raj Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 I love you raj but people don't get your sense of humour. Bring back the old days! Im wasted on here young Ashley lad!!!!
kingfox Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Printed like 50 pictures out of various celebs and spunked over them. Had no where to put them, didn't put them in the bin or my parents would of seen them. They are all now stacked up in a broken draw, under my bed. So if it ever opens, I will be greeted by about 50 pieces of scrunched up paper, with stains on them. Sad but true.
Lamby Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 You should of just got a Gay mag, would of been so much easier for you
kingfox Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 You should of just got a Gay mag, would of been so much easier for you Shit joke Lamby. Not creative enough.
Kitchandro Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 Printed like 50 pictures out of various celebs and spunked over them. Had no where to put them, didn't put them in the bin or my parents would of seen them. They are all now stacked up in a broken draw, under my bed. So if it ever opens, I will be greeted by about 50 pieces of scrunched up paper, with stains on them. Sad but true. I used to do the same when I was about 13, except at one point I stuck them all over my walls and cieling. My parents actually let me keep them for a bit weirdly. I remember trying to stick the first one on with glue. It was a tiny picture of a Bond girl; barely the size of my fingernail. My Dad came in and thought I was glue sniffing. I was so embarrassed at the time I almost wanted him to keep thinking that
sdb Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 I once got given an old school Kit Kat by a neighbour to share with my sister. I broke it in half width ways.
The Horse's Mouth Posted 25 September 2013 Posted 25 September 2013 **** me, some of you need therapy or something.
MPH Posted 26 September 2013 Posted 26 September 2013 Oh my goodness I could be here all night telling stuff.... most recent one. Went into a shop called The mighty Dollar and asked how much the ballons were much to the amusement of the 4 people behind me in the line... went to the wrong viewing at a funeral home about a year ago... wondered why I didn't recognize anyone... just thought my friend had lots of family I had never met.... was supposed to be at the one in the Other building Let out the largest fart ever in the kitchen once when visiting the in laws thinking everyone was in the living room... turns out my mother-in-law was in the pantry sorting dinner out... best one ever has to go to my mate who revealed more about himself than he wanted to one night... all round someone s house Playing cheesey Christmas games ( don't ask). Anyway we were split into a boys team and a girls team . We were in the middle of a game where you have to describe who is on the slip of paper without saying their name. So my mate pulls out a name and its kate winslet. So he said " the good looking one from the titanic!" My other mate shoots his hand and up and shouts out " Leonardo di caprio!!!".
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