Daftest thing you've ever done.

[Kitchandro]

Several years ago, as a rookie, my crew-mate told me that the plastic bollards on the chicanes along Wigston Road, Glen Parva, were designed with emergency vehicles in mind and would simply fold over if I drove over them so that we wouldn't have to slow down.

 

Taking him at his word one Sunday I went hurtling along confident that I could bemuse the other road users by not even slowing or swerving through the chicanes.

 

The resulting impact with the vehicle almost launcing into the air and huge bang with crunching-grinding noises as I hit the concrete base and mount was awesomely frightening. Both front wheels were off the ground, spinning in gear, there was oil p!ssing from the sump and smoke and fumes billowing forth. Traffic stopped in front and behind us. There was no hiding place as I got out sheepishly to check the damage, which was considerable.

 

The recovery guys were relentless as were my colleagues when word got out.

 

That's kind of funny but also pretty disgraceful. I would want to knock the cvnt out.

[bovril]

I did drink my own wee once, I guess that was pretty daft, although i think i read somewhere (The wee times) its supposed to be quite good for you?...so maybe it wasn't that daft.

 

Are you taking the mick?

[Webbo]

Are you taking the mick?

Taking the piss, surely?

[Guest MattP]

Has anyone ever eaten on the loo whilst shitting. I find it to be a very poignant moment especially if coupled with listening to The Circle of Life from The Lion King soundtrack at the same time.

 

lol!

 

Whilst amusing, I couldn't bring myself to eat food in a toilet. Maybe that's a damning indictment of how disgusting my own bathroom is but I can't actually carry food in there and then still eat it. 

 

No, eating on the toilet is absolutely disgusting.

I did drink my own wee once, I guess that was pretty daft, although i think i read somewhere (The wee times) its supposed to be quite good for you?...so maybe it wasn't that daft.

 

I did once by accident as well, well tasted and spat it out.

[HEGGSY]

MattP please check the GTA thread in Computers and Gaming

[cambridgefox]

Ever had a Mixed Grill in the bath?

Nearest is a spit roast!

[purpleronnie]

Are you taking the mick?

Nope.  I think I posted on here after I did it, it wasn't some bear grylls survival moment, it was a mistake (like Matt's), being too lazy to get up in the middle of the night I pissed into a glass, then later woke up and took a swig forgetting my earlier urination.

[bovril]

Nope.  I think I posted on here after I did it, it wasn't some bear grylls survival moment, it was a mistake (like Matt's), being too lazy to get up in the middle of the night I pissed into a glass, then later woke up and took a swig forgetting my earlier urination.

 

Sorry, it was a poor attempt at humour.

 

Taking the piss, surely?

 

I was told by my Biology teacher that "mick" came from micturition!

[purpleronnie]

Sorry, it was a poor attempt at humour.

 

 

I was told by my Biology teacher that "mick" came from micturition!

Far too clever for me.

[cambridgefox]

MattP please check the GTA thread in Computers and Gaming

Ha,just seen that,very good,but not as good as the previous pages.Laughed for ages.tears,tantrums and twvts .As a non gamer I found it amusing,but I can understand to a point peoples frustrations that someone gave the game away( twvt part) but deary me.

[21st Century Fox]

Ha,just seen that,very good,but not as good as the previous pages.Laughed for ages.tears,tantrums and twvts .As a non gamer I found it amusing,but I can understand to a point peoples frustrations that someone gave the game away( twvt part) but deary me.

 

To be fair, it was his knobhead attitude to other people more than anything. If anyone posted the ending to a week old film in the film thread they would quite rightly get slaughtered but to have the ****ing gall to keep posting the same thing afterwards... don't get me started again....

[Tielemans63]

Was queuing outside a nightclub in Leeds when these very dodgy gangsters turn up in a convertible BMW (top down) park on the double yellows outside of the club and just stroll in past the waiting crowds.

Much later on, in my alcohol-adled brain I decide that they need bringing down a peg or two and after leaving the club I casually stand over the BMW and piss all over the interior paying particular attention to the back seats.

****ing disgusting thing to do and I actually didn't go out for about 6 weeks I was so worried about being lynched. I was never able to fully relax on a night out up there after that. Stupid thing to do.

[Guest MattP]

MattP please check the GTA thread in Computers and Gaming

That's absolutely brilliant, definitely a new Facebook cover photo!

[Guest MattP]

Was queuing outside a nightclub in Leeds when these very dodgy gangsters turn up in a convertible BMW (top down) park on the double yellows outside of the club and just stroll in past the waiting crowds.

Much later on, in my alcohol-adled brain I decide that they need bringing down a peg or two and after leaving the club I casually stand over the BMW and piss all over the interior paying particular attention to the back seats.

****ing disgusting thing to do and I actually didn't go out for about 6 weeks I was so worried about being lynched. I was never able to fully relax on a night out up there after that. Stupid thing to do.

lol

Similar story from Paris about ten years ago.

Keyed a car outside a taxi rank and ended up being chased around the place by a few French Arabs, carried on getting steaming until the early hours then went to get a taxi, no prizes for guessing where we turned up.

Ended up legging it again then nearly dying trying to cycle home pissed up on a couple of stolen bikes.

Eventually a good samiritan dropped us off at the Gard du Nord.

[Bluefoxtim]

Put WD-40 on my squeaky brakes

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

Easy. I once voted Labour!!

[Saxondale]

I once spent 5-10 minutes looking for a fag lighter that was in my left hand.

[Webbo]

Easy. I once voted Labour!!

You've gone down in my estimation DT.

[cambridgefox]

To be fair, it was his knobhead attitude to other people more than anything. If anyone posted the ending to a week old film in the film thread they would quite rightly get slaughtered but to have the ****ing gall to keep posting the same thing afterwards... don't get me started again....

yes,selfish amusement as a non gamer,mind you played my lads Far Cry 3.Which was brilliant IMO.He is 10, so that makes me a terrible parent and his uncle worse for buying it.

I suppose it's like having the most gorgeous woman in the world stark bollock naked,begging you to go over and do anything you want.Just as you get to the bed there is a perpex screen and the moment passes.

[Guest ttfn]

lol

Similar story from Paris about ten years ago.

Keyed a car outside a taxi rank and ended up being chased around the place by a few French Arabs, carried on getting steaming until the early hours then went to get a taxi, no prizes for guessing where we turned up.

Ended up legging it again then nearly dying trying to cycle home pissed up on a couple of stolen bikes.

Eventually a good samiritan dropped us off at the Gard du Nord.

There's nothing good about this particular story.

Basically everything you've done here makes you s cvnt.

Daft though, so I can see why you've mentioned it!

[Guest MattP]

I'm denying that at all. I often act like a cnut.

[Captain...]

Daftest thing I've ever done was at the Leeds Festival, 2002, the last time they had it at Temple Newsham.

 

Last night of the festival big group of people mostly from university, big fire going in the middle of our tents, the only bigger fire around was the toilet blocks, this is why it was moved, the whole site was carnage. Anyway we are just chatting shit around the fire probably around 4 in the morning after a heavy weekend of drinking, wondering whether we should start moving our tents away from the blazing bogs, and the little voice in every lads had that says "burn things" makes an appearance in a few of us. Started slowly, an old lighter, nice little fire ball, deodorant can, bigger fireball, lots of "oohs" and "aahs". Then I remembered I'd brought a camping stove, with an unused gas cylinder, so I go into my tent rummage around find it, and throw it on the fire and run away, everyone else goes "shiiiiiit" and runs away too, except one girl. A cousin of a friend of mine decided that it would be better to try and pick it out the fire before it exploded. Now this fire was big and fvcking hot. So she leans over trying to poke the cylinder out of the fire with a stick. Another mate grabs her and pulls her away just as it went off with a big boom. He saved her life, well her face really, she probably wouldn't have died, but she had a pretty face, he ended up with burnt metal stuck to his neck, and some holes in his clothes, but otherwise ok, a lot of tents had collateral damage. and I felt like a proper cvnt. I have seriously never felt so bad about anything in my life, that was so close to being a real horror story.

[Rincewind]

The youth of today still have a lot to learn from the older generation hey Capt?

[z-layrex]

My ex used to work in the fashion industry and once (and I stress once) she took me to some after party at a colleague's tiny but next level flat in Chelsea. It was full of models (the vogue kind that look like they haven't eaten in 5 years) and comprised of one small living room with kithen area, a toilet and bedroom. I decided to do the most disgusting hangover shit you could ever imagine just 5 minutes after we got to this party. I was in there for so long there was a queue of women waiting and the smell, for ****s sake, it filled the entire flat and they had to open all the windows. The look on these peoples' faces as I walked out of the bathroom...

Oh and I used so much paper it blocked the toilet. Totally ruined their pretentious party all with my bowels.

[RobHawk]

Daftest thing I've ever done was at the Leeds Festival, 2002, the last time they had it at Temple Newsham.

 

Last night of the festival big group of people mostly from university, big fire going in the middle of our tents, the only bigger fire around was the toilet blocks, this is why it was moved, the whole site was carnage. Anyway we are just chatting shit around the fire probably around 4 in the morning after a heavy weekend of drinking, wondering whether we should start moving our tents away from the blazing bogs, and the little voice in every lads had that says "burn things" makes an appearance in a few of us. Started slowly, an old lighter, nice little fire ball, deodorant can, bigger fireball, lots of "oohs" and "aahs". Then I remembered I'd brought a camping stove, with an unused gas cylinder, so I go into my tent rummage around find it, and throw it on the fire and run away, everyone else goes "shiiiiiit" and runs away too, except one girl. A cousin of a friend of mine decided that it would be better to try and pick it out the fire before it exploded. Now this fire was big and fvcking hot. So she leans over trying to poke the cylinder out of the fire with a stick. Another mate grabs her and pulls her away just as it went off with a big boom. He saved her life, well her face really, she probably wouldn't have died, but she had a pretty face, he ended up with burnt metal stuck to his neck, and some holes in his clothes, but otherwise ok, a lot of tents had collateral damage. and I felt like a proper cvnt. I have seriously never felt so bad about anything in my life, that was so close to being a real horror story.

 

Was that the Guns & Roses year? That was my 1st and only Leeds festival! Did Reading after that.

 

I remember the riot police and explosions. It was nuts! By about 3pm in the morning me and my 2 mates huddled into the smallest bloody tent, Put the radio on the stereo we had but could only find some Asian radio station, and fell asleep to the sound of Indian music and explosions!

 

What a great festival though!