Depression

[HighPeakFox]

3 minutes ago, Wymsey said:

Next week will be the six-month of my current unemployment spell.

 

It has surprised me that haven't got anything, as had applied carefully for various jobs and numerous agencies (recruitment agencies can apparently be quite hit-and-miss.

 

But have been volunteering to keep skills in-check since leaving last role, but am continually wondering if can ever be employed again etc.

Of course you can - just direct your energies with care.

[ajthefox]

I wrote this and wanted to share it here.

 

Switch

From time to time I pause

I try and recall what I learnt,

In the 2nd sunrise of my life

I wish, like many times before

That my brain had a switch

That I could simply turn off & on

Like bulb, like brain

Light bulb, light brain

Stop with the heavy lifting

Of endless possibilities

Of problems that exist in your head

One day they might manifest

One day might be never

Stop. Flick the switch

Break the circuit

Not your mind or your back

Take a breath, relax

Listen to Miller, Mac

It ain't 2019 no more.

[Wymsey]

Genuinely hope things get better for you, @chrishlcfc.

[FoxesDeb]

I know we're not quite there yet but I just want to say I hope those of us finding this time of year difficult get through it as well as possible. 

 

It's pretty obvious that this will be my first Christmas without my boy, and I'm dreading it, I can't put in to words the pain I feel over his loss, and just how much I miss him, it truly is indescribable. 

 

I'm determined to make the best of it for my daughter, who is sadly missing her sibling and best friend as acutely as I am. There will be tears, but we need to carry on and remember that after all it is only really one day to get through and Ellis will always be with us. 

 

I will be around here on Christmas day and I'm happy to listen to anyone who is also finding it hard, and I wish everyone in the thread lots of love and strength, and a better year next year for all of us x

[Parafox]

11 minutes ago, FoxesDeb said:

I know we're not quite there yet but I just want to say I hope those of us finding this time of year difficult get through it as well as possible. 

 

It's pretty obvious that this will be my first Christmas without my boy, and I'm dreading it, I can't put in to words the pain I feel over his loss, and just how much I miss him, it truly is indescribable. 

 

I'm determined to make the best of it for my daughter, who is sadly missing her sibling and best friend as acutely as I am. There will be tears, but we need to carry on and remember that after all it is only really one day to get through and Ellis will always be with us. 

 

I will be around here on Christmas day and I'm happy to listen to anyone who is also finding it hard, and I wish everyone in the thread lots of love and strength, and a better year next year for all of us x

 

This is one of those posts that needs more than one emoji response. 

 

Bravery from you as I've mentioned before. It would be easy to shut yourself away and wallow and just get it over with but, through your courage, you are refusing to do that. Ellis will be foremost in your family's memories I've no doubt.

 

Dare I ask, did you buy a gift for Ellis? I know people that have lost a child, that buy a gift for them every birthday and Christmas.

 

All the best to you and those that you love and care about, Deb.  

Edited 21 December 2024 by Parafox

[FoxesDeb]

34 minutes ago, Parafox said:

 

This is one of those posts that needs more than one emoji response. 

 

Bravery from you as I've mentioned before. It would be easy to shut yourself away and wallow and just get it over with but, through your courage, you are refusing to do that. Ellis will be foremost in your family's memories I've no doubt.

 

Dare I ask, did you buy a gift for Ellis? I know people that have lost a child, that buy a gift for them every birthday and Christmas.

 

All the best to you and those that you love and care about, Deb.  

We haven't, we thought about it for his 21st which was his first birthday without him, in November, but in the end decided against it. I understand why people do it, but practically speaking we weren't really sure what we would do with them, and after all what he really wanted was a Subaru Impreza so no, not practical 

[Parafox]

2 minutes ago, FoxesDeb said:

We haven't, we thought about it for his 21st which was his first birthday without him, in November, but in the end decided against it. I understand why people do it, but practically speaking we weren't really sure what we would do with them, and after all what he really wanted was a Subaru Impreza so no, not practical 

 

I understand.

 

The ones I know buy a gift and attach "in the memory of... name" and then donate it to a charity. (MIND in the case I know of).

 

I imagine not many charity shops would accept a "Scooby".

[FoxesDeb]

5 minutes ago, Parafox said:

 

I understand.

 

The ones I know buy a gift and attach "in the memory of... name" and then donate it to a charity. (MIND in the case I know of).

 

I imagine not many charity shops would accept a "Scooby".

Ah now that's a good idea, and one I hadn't thought of, the people I have seen who do this just keep wrapped gifts in a room, never to be opened, which seems a bit morbid tbh

 

I think we will do this, thank you for the idea 

[Paninistickers]

Very very upsetting news about a body in the River Soar. 

 

I'm hearing that the fella is a City fan and possibly  a city employee (according to his bio) and been suffering from depression. 

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

Really is a difficult time of year when life isn’t where you want it to be and things have unravelled for you.

[Wymsey]

12 minutes ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Really is a difficult time of year when life isn’t where you want it to be and things have unravelled for you.

It's hard with that mindset, especially when there's the pressure to drink etc.

[pazzerfox]

On 21/12/2024 at 18:43, FoxesDeb said:

I know we're not quite there yet but I just want to say I hope those of us finding this time of year difficult get through it as well as possible. 

 

It's pretty obvious that this will be my first Christmas without my boy, and I'm dreading it, I can't put in to words the pain I feel over his loss, and just how much I miss him, it truly is indescribable. 

 

I'm determined to make the best of it for my daughter, who is sadly missing her sibling and best friend as acutely as I am. There will be tears, but we need to carry on and remember that after all it is only really one day to get through and Ellis will always be with us. 

 

I will be around here on Christmas day and I'm happy to listen to anyone who is also finding it hard, and I wish everyone in the thread lots of love and strength, and a better year next year for all of us x

Thoughts will be with you and your family. 

[DennisNedry]

Just to follow up on my post from last month (a couple of pages ago), I have finally sought help.

 

I have been prescribed Sertraline, and have been referred for counselling. 

 

There's a long way to go, but I feel much more positive now that I've taken that first step.

[Trav Le Bleu]

Excellent.

 

I was on sertraline and after several months I was able to come off (my own decision) and been pretty good since, so don't worry that the drugs will become a crutch.

 

Though I'm not sure about that metaphor, since ultimately, when your leg gets better, you get rid of the crutch, so yes, it is a crutch  (in that sense!)

 

First step ticked off though!

[Unabomber]

5 years ago yesterday since my mum suddenly died. Crazy how fast the time goes. The first 2 years were awful but it does get easier. 

[Trav Le Bleu]

58 minutes ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Really is a difficult time of year when life isn’t where you want it to be and things have unravelled for you.

This is one of many things I dislike about Christmas. 

 

We're always under pressure to conform, to be what other people think you should be or want you to be (usually to get your money!) but Christmas is just like a relentless wave of you must have this and do that, which goes on for far too long nowadays.

 

And you can't ignore it - it's wall to wall, 7 days a week.

 

If you want to have fun, see the family, get and give gifts, be nice to people... do that whenever you can. Don't funnel it all into one tiny part of the year where expectations are piled so high they risk tumbling down.

 

I get that that isn't everyone's Xmas... but there's a sizeable amount and for some people, Christmas is just a hell with no off button

[Trav Le Bleu]

6 minutes ago, Unabomber said:

5 years ago yesterday since my mum suddenly died. Crazy how fast the time goes. The first 2 years were awful but it does get easier. 

Sorry to hear, but thanks for sharing. People can take comfort from that.

 

And it's not that you forget the pain, it's that you learn to cope with it.

[Unabomber]

Just now, Trav Le Bleu said:

Sorry to hear, but thanks for sharing. People can take comfort from that.

 

And it's not that you forget the pain, it's that you learn to cope with it.

Yeah first few years it’s just constant pain and pure grief and loss thinking how much you wish your lost one was there to experience life with you. However now and I appreciate it’s different for everyone I just think she would want me to be happy so I live like that. 

[Wymsey]

16 minutes ago, Unabomber said:

5 years ago yesterday since my mum suddenly died. Crazy how fast the time goes. The first 2 years were awful but it does get easier. 

Grieving a close loved one is a very sensitive trauma for many.

 

What made things 'easier' for you during this period?

 

Am sure she's proud of what you've done with her in the past, and what you've achieved in life.

 

Had thoughts in recent times, especially in my early-thirties of when it'd happen to my own parents (who are late-sixties) and how to 'deal with it' when it happens.

[Izzy]

23 minutes ago, Unabomber said:

5 years ago yesterday since my mum suddenly died. Crazy how fast the time goes. The first 2 years were awful but it does get easier. 

My Mum died 2 weeks ago and I'm struggling. 

 

The biggest pain is seeing my Dad completely lost after 54 years of happy marriage - he just doesn't know what to do with himself.

 

I know time will be a healer but right now we're in the middle of funeral arrangements and all that shit and it's still very raw.

 

Christmas will be horrible.

[Unabomber]

1 minute ago, Wymsey said:

Grieving a close loved one is a very sensitive trauma for many.

 

What made things 'easier' for you during this period?

 

Am sure she's proud of what you've done with her in the past, and what you've achieved in life.

 

Had thoughts in recent times, especially in my early-thirties of when it'd happen to my own parents (who are late-sixties) and how to 'deal with it' when it happens.

I think just time passing and realising there’s nothing that you can do to change things. I have regrets such as proposing to my now wife after she had gone, wish I had done that when she was alive. She would’ve loved to see me get married and obviously will never have a grandchild. I always think about the positives and that she had a great life, I try to remember that whilst it is shit for me there is plenty of people who have had it way worse than me. 

[Unabomber]

1 minute ago, Izzy said:

My Mum died 2 weeks ago and I'm struggling. 

 

The biggest pain is seeing my Dad completely lost after 54 years of happy marriage - he just doesn't know what to do with himself.

 

I know time will be a healer but right now we're in the middle of funeral arrangements and all that shit and it's still very raw.

 

Christmas will be horrible.

Yeah there no point in saying otherwise, the first few months and years will suck. However it gets easier once the initial raw grief passes and you remember the happy moments. My dad was the same he worked hard and my mum sorted all the life stuff. He had no idea how to shop and cook etc but he’s adapted well. 

[urban.spaceman]

On 21/12/2024 at 18:43, FoxesDeb said:

I know we're not quite there yet but I just want to say I hope those of us finding this time of year difficult get through it as well as possible. 

 

It's pretty obvious that this will be my first Christmas without my boy, and I'm dreading it, I can't put in to words the pain I feel over his loss, and just how much I miss him, it truly is indescribable. 

 

I'm determined to make the best of it for my daughter, who is sadly missing her sibling and best friend as acutely as I am. There will be tears, but we need to carry on and remember that after all it is only really one day to get through and Ellis will always be with us. 

 

I will be around here on Christmas day and I'm happy to listen to anyone who is also finding it hard, and I wish everyone in the thread lots of love and strength, and a better year next year for all of us x

Wishing you a peaceful Christmas Deb. x

 

On 21/12/2024 at 19:29, FoxesDeb said:

We haven't, we thought about it for his 21st which was his first birthday without him, in November, but in the end decided against it. I understand why people do it, but practically speaking we weren't really sure what we would do with them, and after all what he really wanted was a Subaru Impreza so no, not practical 

Maybe you could commission a painting or drawing to keep on the wall or mantlepiece?

[urban.spaceman]

2 hours ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Really is a difficult time of year when life isn’t where you want it to be and things have unravelled for you.

Had a similar few months, I hope you're able to find a way to enjoy Christmas regardless mate.

[Lionator]

Everyone that posts in here does it so honestly, so deeply, so openly, you’re all amazing people, doing YOUR best in the circumstances that have been presented to you. You’re not a failure, you have nothing to feel guilty about.