What's in the news?

[Buce]

 

The city that gives free beer for cycling:

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-45940844/the-city-that-gives-you-free-beer-for-cycling

[Strokes]

14 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

The city that gives free beer for cycling:

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-45940844/the-city-that-gives-you-free-beer-for-cycling

Reward, rather than punishment. It’s crazy but you know, it might just work 

Well done Bologna.

[Buce]

Just now, Strokes said:

Reward, rather than punishment. It’s crazy but you know, it might just work 

Well done Bologna.

 

Yeah, but what is it going to do for road safety with all those pissed up cyclists...

[Carl the Llama]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46704522

UK government gives millions of pounds to Europe so we can stop giving millions of pounds to Europe.

[Buce]

42 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46704522

UK government gives millions of pounds to Europe so we can stop giving millions of pounds to Europe.

 

Renting ferries from other countries to avoid shortages of essential goods? You couldn't make it up, could you?

 

We should change the national anthem:

 

 

 

[Buce]

 

 

In other news, hundreds have people seeking a better life and an escape from poverty have been caught crossing the Channel on inflatable dinghies. 

 

Coastguards returned them to the UK.

[Jon the Hat]

According to leaks the civil service is ready for no deal.  It wouldn’t be a great surprise to find they’ve quietly done their jobs behind the scenes despite the utter incompetence of their political leaders.  Well played if so!

[Foxxed]

On the same day we find out we spent over 100m on emergency no-deal ferries Angelina Jolie announces she's ready to enter politics. Maybe we could ferry her across?

[Mike Oxlong]

21 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

According to leaks the civil service is ready for no deal.  It wouldn’t be a great surprise to find they’ve quietly done their jobs behind the scenes despite the utter incompetence of their political leaders.  Well played if so!

I will be pleasantly surprised if it’s not Frank Spencer levels of incompetence behind the scenes (as well as in front of them)

[Foxxed]

2 minutes ago, Mike Oxlong said:

I will be pleasantly surprised if it’s not Frank Spencer levels of incompetence behind the scenes (as well as in front of them)

At least they'll be new material for The Thick of It. We've always been a resourceful nation. Why not sell our political mistakes to the rest of the world as entertainment? Essential to the post Brexit economy.

 

 

 

(Just kidding Jon. Everything's going to be juuusssstt fine.)

[Jon the Hat]

14 minutes ago, Foxxed said:

On the same day we find out we spent over 100m on emergency no-deal ferries Angelina Jolie announces she's ready to enter politics. Maybe we could ferry her across?

I find it frustrating that project fear 2 tells us no deal Brexit will cost us hundreds of billions, but we are supposed to think a few million on mitigation is a big deal?  One or the other surely.

[Foxxed]

Just now, Jon the Hat said:

I find it frustrating that project fear 2 tells us no deal Brexit will cost us hundreds of billions, but we are supposed to think a few million on mitigation is a big deal?  One or the other surely.

A few hundred million on mitigation. I wasn't aware I was conversing with a man of such vast wealth. I'm a man of modest means. A few hundred million is over a year's wages for me.

[Jon the Hat]

19 minutes ago, Foxxed said:

A few hundred million on mitigation. I wasn't aware I was conversing with a man of such vast wealth. I'm a man of modest means. A few hundred million is over a year's wages for me.

5th richest economy in the world.  Do you think comparing the country’s finances with your personal finances might be a bit of a stupid comparison?

[The Guvnor]

2 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

According to leaks the civil service is ready for no deal.  It wouldn’t be a great surprise to find they’ve quietly done their jobs behind the scenes despite the utter incompetence of their political leaders.  Well played if so!

As Ollie robbins was the main protaganist for the fcuking hopeless deal I suppose its perfectly reasonable his gang should at least do something constructive.

[Foxxed]

1 hour ago, Jon the Hat said:

5th richest economy in the world.  Do you think comparing the country’s finances with your personal finances might be a bit of a stupid comparison?

It was a joke, Jon. A joke. But if 100s of millions is needed to make this glorious free trade miracle work then I will join you in throwing the multitude of notes at the ferry and other companies. And I will pat you on the back as we look on from the White Cliffs of Dover in startled congratulations when we go from being the projected 7th strongest economy to 4th, 3rd or 2nd.

[LiberalFox]

3 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

According to leaks the civil service is ready for no deal.  It wouldn’t be a great surprise to find they’ve quietly done their jobs behind the scenes despite the utter incompetence of their political leaders.  Well played if so!

 

3 cheers for the public sector!

[Guest MattP]

Weather must be good in Burnley to get a "tan" like that at this time of year.

[Parafox]

41 minutes ago, MattP said:

Weather must be good in Burnley to get a "tan" like that at this time of year.

What, EXACTLY you  implying here?

[Buce]

45 minutes ago, MattP said:

Weather must be good in Burnley to get a "tan" like that at this time of year.

 

Sunbed, obviously. 

[Guest MattP]

11 minutes ago, Parafox said:

What, EXACTLY you  implying here?

That maybe, just maybe, he's not tanned. 

[Buce]

6 minutes ago, MattP said:

That maybe, just maybe, he's not tanned. 

 

But you can see he is. 

[Mayofox]

The Irish Govt is going to look for hundreds of €M in Euro aid, in the event of a No-deal Brexit, to protect our trade and the beef/dairy/fishing industries. This has angered Rees-Smug, who blames the Irish Govt (and this is the ignorant or even dangerous phrase) "about the phantom Border issue". 

 

Jacob, mate, its 500km long, and I crossed it myself twice in the past week (maybe more, but you wouldn't know). If you came and understood, it will never be accepted, either side of the invisible line. And any attempt to introduce a border would see the breakdown of the Good Friday Agreement. 

 

You have a cold future outside the EU. 

Stay warm! 

 

 

[Guest MattP]

3 minutes ago, Mayofox said:

The Irish Govt is going to look for hundreds of €M in Euro aid, in the event of a No-deal Brexit, to protect our trade and the beef/dairy/fishing industries. This has angered Rees-Smug, who blames the Irish Govt (and this is the ignorant or even dangerous phrase) "about the phantom Border issue". 

 

Jacob, mate, its 500km long, and I crossed it myself twice in the past week (maybe more, but you wouldn't know). If you came and understood, it will never be accepted, either side of the invisible line. And any attempt to introduce a border would see the breakdown of the Good Friday Agreement. 

 

You have a cold future outside the EU. 

Stay warm! 

Everyone has played up the Irish border isssue though, no doubt about. We already have confirmation no one is going to put up a hard border whatever happens. Not us, not Ireland, not the EU. Even David Trimble and Bertie Ahern are both on record as saying it can't happen. 

 

Varadker knows what he is doing as well - no Irish politician ever lost votes standing up to the British government. 

 

We live in a a World where we can land stuff on Mars but can't track goods over an invisible border - I'm not buying it to be honest.

[Alf Bentley]

26 minutes ago, MattP said:

 

We live in a a World where we can land stuff on Mars but can't track goods over an invisible border - I'm not buying it to be honest.

 

We can land stuff on Mars - and we can land stuff across an invisible Irish border.

 

We cannot track ALL goods, including those carried by small farmers, small traders and would-be smugglers, across hundreds of country lane border crossings spanning several hundred miles - and I daresay we couldn't track all goods over any such invisible border on Mars either! 

[Guest MattP]

7 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

We can land stuff on Mars - and we can land stuff across an invisible Irish border.

 

We cannot track ALL goods, including those carried by small farmers, small traders and would-be smugglers, across hundreds of country lane border crossings spanning several hundred miles - and I daresay we couldn't track all goods over any such invisible border on Mars either! 

We don't check those things anyway now, the DUP have spoken in the past of how smuggling still goes on, but the solution has to be some sort of collection of customs tariffs based on estimation of goods, that should be achievable.

 

The point is though whatever happens there will not be a hard border, the British government won't do it, the Irish won't and the EU has insisted it wouldn't - so people should either tell us who is lying on the subject or stop saying it could happen.