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davieG

The Holloway Column Thread

By davieG, in Leicester City Forum

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Koke

Koke

Posted
Posted

He would leave his wife naked with Gary Penrice. Can Penrice honestly tell us with a straight face that he won't shag her lol

Thracian

Thracian

Posted
Posted

He's a character no question.

I sympathise about the transfer window and about the stacking of so many players by the big clubs.

How can that be good for football?

Simi

Simi

Posted
Posted
He's a character no question.

I sympathise about the transfer window and about the stacking of so many players by the big clubs.

How can that be good for football?

Quite simply, it's not.

Something needs to be done about it, for sure.

But when will we ever see the big boys questioning the big four?

:laugh:

Ultra

Ultra

Posted
Posted

The punter's questions were worth a read this week..

dazzlingTyke33: "Hi Ollie, I remember years ago going to watch QPR play Middlesbrough at their old Ayresome Park Ground. During the match, Gary Penrice was injured, came off and then tried to run the injury off on the sidelines. He failed, was substituted, and the following day was diagnosed with a broken leg. He's the only person I know who has tried to run off a broken leg!"

That was true. I missed that game and there's a little story to it.

We'd played Swindon on the Tuesday at home and won 3-0. I was giving Gary a lift home and he made stop because he wanted to get a chicken burger. I said I didn't want one but he was saying "no, we've gotta get one".

Anyway, I stopped and he came back with a burger for me and him, despite me telling him three times that I didn't want one. So I ate it and ended up with food poisoning.

Gary was laughing at me because I lost a stone in a week and he came round on the Friday before they travelled to Middlesbrough, laughing and joking.

He left me some grapes and was saying "You look with a nose with eyes, Ol!" because I'd lost so much weight.

On the Saturday, John Gittins missed the ball and volleyed Gary's leg and it turned out it was broken.

So on the Sunday morning I went round to his house, laughing, and brought him some grapes and said: "Who's the lucky one - I'm glad I ate that burger!"

Pressure_drop: "Just finished reading your autobiography, which I really enjoyed. I'm surprised you didn't mention your nickname at Wimbledon - 'Stinger' I believe? Care to enlighten us? I know it's true as your old mate Vaughan Jones told me!"

Stinger...yes, I didn't think there was anything funny about that. I'd only been at Wimbledon a week. We were having a game of head tennis - me, Glyn Hodges and Kevin Gage - and the ball went into nettles, as they called them.

Hodgey went to run in there in his shorts to get it and I shouted: "Mind out for them stingers!" They literally started rolling on the floor laughing. They kept saying "what did you say?" and I said: "Stingers - watch out for them stingers!"

So I went in, got a bit of wood and got the ball out, looked round and they're still rolling on the floor laughing.

In Bristol we don't call them nettles, we call them stingers. But every time I see Dave Bassett, even now, he still says: "'Ello Stinger!" These Londoners, they're a bit different.

SOCCERROO FOX

SOCCERROO FOX

Posted
Posted
She got up and made me a cup of tea in the morning and I said 'What date is it today?' and she said 'It's my birthday'. I thought it was the fifth and unfortunately it was the sixth so I was in deep, deep trouble.

I don't know if she's forgiven me yet - I can still see some burning embers of hatred

This actually made it to the Aus papers again i think the report loves holloway

brookfox

brookfox

Posted
Posted

Nice comment in there this week when he's compared to Keegan!

HOLLOWAY VS KEEGAN

Enthusiasm, hunger and desire - that sounds like you - Ed.

Ha ha, you pillock! You can't talk about me in the same breath as Kevin Keegan, you great numpty! What's the matter with you?

He was twice European footballer of the year - you must have been on the booze, mate! Holy mackerel!

Plus he's got a full head of hair and I haven't got any - what more do you want? I wish mine was grey like his - at least you can tint it up with that Grecian 2000 stuff.

Bert

Bert

Posted
Posted
THE RETURN OF KEVIN KEEGAN

It's absolutely marvelllous to see Kevin back. Personally I feel a little bit for Sam Allardyce because I still believe he's a very, very good manager who wasn't given long enough.

But when you've got a ghost of someone like that in your closet who the fans love, you're just banging your head against a brick wall.

It'll be great for Kev if it goes well. He's got a big job on his hands but his personality's absolutely massive and he's really lifted that place already so good luck to him.

Kevin Keegan

Keegan's football will make your hair stand on end

He's great, the way he played, what he achieved in his career. Fantastic.

I've only met him a couple of times so I can't say I know him personally, but he bought Barry Hayles off me from Bristol Rovers when he was at Fulham, and for me that summed him up.

No-one else had really heard of Barry Hayles, Kevin was expected to get promoted at Fulham and he came to watch him when we had a bad game.

I said "Why are you buying him?" and he said "I just loved his hunger". That sums up Kevin Keegan. He played with enthusiasm, hunger and desire all his life. Absolutely outstanding.

HOLLOWAY VS KEEGAN

Enthusiasm, hunger and desire - that sounds like you - Ed.

Ha ha, you pillock! You can't talk about me in the same breath as Kevin Keegan, you great numpty! What's the matter with you?

He was twice European footballer of the year - you must have been on the booze, mate! Holy mackerel!

Plus he's got a full head of hair and I haven't got any - what more do you want? I wish mine was grey like his - at least you can tint it up with that Grecian 2000 stuff.

LEICESTER NEW BOYS ON SONG

Yes there were five of them altogether against Coventry - I had to introduce them to each other before the game!

It's always good to see your new ones settling in early doors and my two new strikers, Steve Howard and Barry Hayles, both nicked a goal. Barry came off the bench, which shows we've got a bit of strength in depth.

Barry Hayles

All Hayles king Barry

And the young left-winger I got from Hungary, Zsolt Laczko, was absolutely outstanding and got a standing ovation when he came off.

I'd be happy if we could get another six, seven or eight wins - in a row. I don't want much, do I? It's all about confidence and they did really well last week, so now we've got to try and kick on.

TOM HANKS IS A VILLA FAN

Hollywood actor declares his love for the Villans because he likes the name.

He can't help it - he was on that island for a couple of years, wasn't he? Must do your head in being on your own for that long. He was talking to that bloke, Wilson, who was a football. He's lost the plot, that bloke.

CELEBRITY LEICESTER FANS

I haven't met any of them, but Kasabian are big fans. They were at the game the other day and were very impressed by how we played apparently. As long as I can keep them happy, I won't have a problem!

Kasabian frontman Tom Meighan

Cheers, Ollie!

I've got a list of other Leicester fans, according to the Famous Football Supporters website - give us your views on them - Ed:

Mark Morrison: Return Of The Mac, great tune that is. When's he returning - is he going to be let out of prison soon? Oh, he is out. Well good luck to him.

Nicholas Parsons: Is he a fan?! Is he still around? Actually I've just been told he is, he's 84 apparently, so sorry about that Nicholas!

Englebert Humperdinck: Englebert Humperdinck is a Leicester fan?! I tell you what, heart-throb of the 60s he was. Women used to melt when he walked on stage.

That'll do me if he's a Leicester fan. It would be superb to get him down for a game, I'd have to tell my mum!

OriginalRobboFOX

OriginalRobboFOX

Posted
Posted

The Leicester manager gives his inimitable views on football and life in general in his weekly column.

This week he talks about a touchline disagreement with Norwich manager Glenn Roeder and why he's gutted at not being in the FA Cup.

He also gives his views on Arsene Wenger, deaf footballers and the woman who got to grips with her ex-boyfriend's privates.

TOUCHLINE SPAT WITH GLENN ROEDER

During Leicester's 0-0 draw at Norwich last Saturday.

He was bang out of order. He came down out of the stand and swore at me and said 'stop trying to get people sent off you...something or other'.

I wasn't (trying to get anyone sent off). My goalie, Ben Alnwick, had got two-footed by Darel Russell, reacted unprofessionally and dived on the bloke, which he had no reason to do. And then this melee happened.

Clarky (Norwich assistant manager Lee Clark), who I know really well, was saying my goalie should be sent off - so he was trying to get someone red carded - and he had a laugh about it with me.

Then his manager came running down after another two-footed tackle by Darel Russell, who is sometimes a bit over-competitive - although I love that in people. He really wants to win and I haven't got a problem with that.

Roeder and Ollie agreed to disagree

I just pointed out to the referee that it was another two-footed tackle but I didn't try to get him sent off. I was complaining about the tackle on my goalie.

So Glenn came down shouting at me and he was bang out of order. He did it for effect, he did it to affect the fans around him, and I more than told him so.

I said 'who the hell do you think you are?' after the game. But never mind. Good luck to him and good luck to his team. They clawed their way back from five points adrift at the bottom of the table, so well done to them.

RARE WEEKEND OFF

I'm mithering about how we're out of the Cup to be honest. We had a terrible performance against Southampton in the third round where we lost 2-0 and were lucky to get nil.

But that's life. I've been down in Bristol with my wife seeing my father-in-law, who lost his wife a few months ago, and I'll be able to see my son, so I've had a couple of days where I'm out of the way of it.

I'd much rather be in the Cup, though. It's horrible when you're not in it.

The man with the Midas touch

Since the Southampton defeat we've had a couple of league games where we've got four points out of six. I'd have taken that result against Norwich before the start and that's a point towards where we want to go.

Now we've probably got the toughest match we could have asked for on Monday, live on the telly against Crystal Palace, who are the form team of the Championship.

Neil Warnock's had his own way for the last 15 games, hasn't he! It's great to see him back in the game, though. He's done a fantastic job there so good luck to him - but not against us! We're going to have to earn the right to beat them and I think we can.

SPURS THRASHING ARSENAL

That's one way to end a bad run against your rivals!

I thought Tottenham's closing was outstanding. When you play against Arsenal it's very difficult to get any sort of pressure on the ball, given the way their back players break and split, and their movement across midfield.

But that was the best I'd seen it closed and pressed and that's how Tottenham got the result. They won the ball back off Arsenal better than anybody I've seen.

SHOULD WENGER HAVE PLAYED A STRONGER TEAM?

If I was Arsene Wenger I'd have a great big cigar on loving my life, because some of the football they play is outstanding - and who am I to tell him what he wants to do?

I heard him say his priority is other things and I think he uses that competition fantastically well for the players that are on the fringes, because he tests them and sticks with them.

Course we're not bothered about the result, Arsene!

So if he suddenly made wholesale changes and put a stronger team in, what message is he giving them?

I don't think the fans will be getting too restless if they go another season without a trophy. If I was an Arsenal fan I'd feel very proud and know I'd been totally spoilt for the past few years and wouldn't look at it that shallowly.

WOMAN JAILED FOR TESTICLE ATTACK

Amanda Monti gets two-and-a-half years for ripping ex-boyfriend's testicle off with bare hands and attempting to eat it.

You are joking me?! Ow! That's absolutely frightening - you wouldn't want to get her on the rebound would you? For crying out loud!

One of your crown jewels getting ripped off? I really feel for that fella. That's your worst enemy, a woman scorned.

I forgot my wife's birthday the other day - I hope she doesn't read this and think she can do that to me. That is the worst story I've ever heard.

LIFE ON MARS?

Magnified Nasa imaged of Mars appear to show a small man walking downhill.

Get out of here! You're winding me up!

Well if that's true, maybe there is a little old man on the moon after all, then?

Now what was it again - two pints of milk and a loaf of bread?

I'm 44 so he must be cracking on a bit because I was told when I was little there was a man on the moon and now we've got this photographic evidence.

Perhaps he used to live on the moon but got bored of that and shot off to Mars to see what was going on there!

WORLD'S UNLUCKIEST MAN?

Man accidentally shot by rescuer who was trying to free him from the jaws of a crocodile in northern Australia.

What a bad day he's had! Yeah, I got attacked by a crocodile in the middle of nowhere, then got shot by the bloke who was trying to rescue me!

Mind you I think I'd rather be him than the bloke who had the testicle removed.

So he's being treated in hospital for bites and gunshot wounds? And shock I would imagine. Was he in somewhere where you would expect a crocodile to be - or was he walking up Kingswood High Street in Bristol? Now that would be a shock!

He was in Australia - Ed.

Gun or croc? You decide

You've got to be the bravest man in the world to go to Australia. I watched this programme with Billy Connolly once and he said the place scared him to death - there's nine or 10 things that can kill you, including something called a stinger.

He said 'I didn't know if a stinger was going to jump out and shoot me or come out of the sky'. Apparently it's a jellyfish - or nettles if you come from Bristol.

They're tough cookies in Australia, though. Give that bloke in hospital a can of XXXX and he'll be right as rain!

PUNTER'S QUESTION

LCFCguy125: "Hi Ollie, I don't know if you've heard any of this, but there's a big rumour going around Leicester that Rivaldo is going to join from AEK Athens."

Rivaldo? I've never heard anything like it. How old is he now?

He gets knocked down - but can he get up again?

I can't see that being true, although apparently we're in for everybody else if you read these papers. Never believe what you read in the papers.

I am still trying to bring two or three players in. I believe we need some more strength in depth and if I can get them, great, but if you're really busy in the window, it means there's an awful lot wrong.

PUNTER'S QUESTION II

irishLondoner: "Hello Ollie! I hear you are a guest speaker for Great Britain Deaf Football's 'Silver Ball' at Aston Villa soon. Do you think deaf footballers can ever reach the top level?"

It's a subject very close to my heart because my three daughters have lost a sense.

In football it's really important to be able to communicate with people. But I believe if someone like Ryan Giggs was deaf he'd have been good enough to bridge that gap.

It is a drawback because you can't hear your team-mates around you but if you can get your head on a swivel and look around and have more awareness, if you're skill level's up to it, why not?

606: DEBATE

Ask Ollie a question

I believe one day a deaf person could be a professional footballer and I'm very proud and honoured to be invited to speak on that evening. I think we're away at Blackpool so unfortunately I'll be a little late getting there, but I'll be bringing two of my daughters along.

I worked with a lad called Ben who played in the British deaf football team. He's a lovely lad and a very good player. I took him to QPR and helped prepare him for the Olympics, where they got the gold medal. I was so proud of them.

PUNTERS' QUESTIONS III

Yet another update on the long-running debate about what nettles should be called - Ed.

ashishmorjaria: "Listen, me old cocker, I've lived in Leicester for the best part of 34 years and they're not called stingers or nettles. The full Leicesterian description is 'stinging nettles', a bit of a mix of the two if you like. "

nathe_i_boy: "In Aberdeen we call stingers jabbies."

Jabbies! I'm getting really confused about this..we need that botanist, David Bellamy, to sort it out - 'Gwapple me gwape nuts!'

Plain daft - whatever they're called

Jabbies? Is that because when you touch one it jabs you in the arm and it feels like someone's jabbing you with pins afterwards? I like that - it's probably even better than stingers!

I think everyone should now rename them jabbies. Or what about stinging jabbies? Stinging jabbie nettles - there we go - life's getting more and more complicated!

OLLIE AND THE FORKLIFT

I had a go in this forklift truck as part of a promotion for our sponsors. I was mucking about and got our centre-half, Bruno N'Gotty, and moved him up and down.

I need one of them to make myself a bit taller. I might be able to reach the sauce out of the cupboard then, instead of asking my wife to get it for me!

Ian Holloway was talking to BBC Sport

Bert

Bert

Posted
Posted
The Leicester manager gives his inimitable views on football and life in general in his weekly column.

This week he talks about a touchline disagreement with Norwich manager Glenn Roeder and why he's gutted at not being in the FA Cup.

He also gives his views on Arsene Wenger, deaf footballers and the woman who got to grips with her ex-boyfriend's privates.

TOUCHLINE SPAT WITH GLENN ROEDER

During Leicester's 0-0 draw at Norwich last Saturday.

He was bang out of order. He came down out of the stand and swore at me and said 'stop trying to get people sent off you...something or other'.

I wasn't (trying to get anyone sent off). My goalie, Ben Alnwick, had got two-footed by Darel Russell, reacted unprofessionally and dived on the bloke, which he had no reason to do. And then this melee happened.

Clarky (Norwich assistant manager Lee Clark), who I know really well, was saying my goalie should be sent off - so he was trying to get someone red carded - and he had a laugh about it with me.

Then his manager came running down after another two-footed tackle by Darel Russell, who is sometimes a bit over-competitive - although I love that in people. He really wants to win and I haven't got a problem with that.

Roeder and Ollie agreed to disagree

I just pointed out to the referee that it was another two-footed tackle but I didn't try to get him sent off. I was complaining about the tackle on my goalie.

So Glenn came down shouting at me and he was bang out of order. He did it for effect, he did it to affect the fans around him, and I more than told him so.

I said 'who the hell do you think you are?' after the game. But never mind. Good luck to him and good luck to his team. They clawed their way back from five points adrift at the bottom of the table, so well done to them.

RARE WEEKEND OFF

I'm mithering about how we're out of the Cup to be honest. We had a terrible performance against Southampton in the third round where we lost 2-0 and were lucky to get nil.

But that's life. I've been down in Bristol with my wife seeing my father-in-law, who lost his wife a few months ago, and I'll be able to see my son, so I've had a couple of days where I'm out of the way of it.

I'd much rather be in the Cup, though. It's horrible when you're not in it.

The man with the Midas touch

Since the Southampton defeat we've had a couple of league games where we've got four points out of six. I'd have taken that result against Norwich before the start and that's a point towards where we want to go.

Now we've probably got the toughest match we could have asked for on Monday, live on the telly against Crystal Palace, who are the form team of the Championship.

Neil Warnock's had his own way for the last 15 games, hasn't he! It's great to see him back in the game, though. He's done a fantastic job there so good luck to him - but not against us! We're going to have to earn the right to beat them and I think we can.

SPURS THRASHING ARSENAL

That's one way to end a bad run against your rivals!

I thought Tottenham's closing was outstanding. When you play against Arsenal it's very difficult to get any sort of pressure on the ball, given the way their back players break and split, and their movement across midfield.

But that was the best I'd seen it closed and pressed and that's how Tottenham got the result. They won the ball back off Arsenal better than anybody I've seen.

SHOULD WENGER HAVE PLAYED A STRONGER TEAM?

If I was Arsene Wenger I'd have a great big cigar on loving my life, because some of the football they play is outstanding - and who am I to tell him what he wants to do?

I heard him say his priority is other things and I think he uses that competition fantastically well for the players that are on the fringes, because he tests them and sticks with them.

Course we're not bothered about the result, Arsene!

So if he suddenly made wholesale changes and put a stronger team in, what message is he giving them?

I don't think the fans will be getting too restless if they go another season without a trophy. If I was an Arsenal fan I'd feel very proud and know I'd been totally spoilt for the past few years and wouldn't look at it that shallowly.

WOMAN JAILED FOR TESTICLE ATTACK

Amanda Monti gets two-and-a-half years for ripping ex-boyfriend's testicle off with bare hands and attempting to eat it.

You are joking me?! Ow! That's absolutely frightening - you wouldn't want to get her on the rebound would you? For crying out loud!

One of your crown jewels getting ripped off? I really feel for that fella. That's your worst enemy, a woman scorned.

I forgot my wife's birthday the other day - I hope she doesn't read this and think she can do that to me. That is the worst story I've ever heard.

LIFE ON MARS?

Magnified Nasa imaged of Mars appear to show a small man walking downhill.

Get out of here! You're winding me up!

Well if that's true, maybe there is a little old man on the moon after all, then?

Now what was it again - two pints of milk and a loaf of bread?

I'm 44 so he must be cracking on a bit because I was told when I was little there was a man on the moon and now we've got this photographic evidence.

Perhaps he used to live on the moon but got bored of that and shot off to Mars to see what was going on there!

WORLD'S UNLUCKIEST MAN?

Man accidentally shot by rescuer who was trying to free him from the jaws of a crocodile in northern Australia.

What a bad day he's had! Yeah, I got attacked by a crocodile in the middle of nowhere, then got shot by the bloke who was trying to rescue me!

Mind you I think I'd rather be him than the bloke who had the testicle removed.

So he's being treated in hospital for bites and gunshot wounds? And shock I would imagine. Was he in somewhere where you would expect a crocodile to be - or was he walking up Kingswood High Street in Bristol? Now that would be a shock!

He was in Australia - Ed.

Gun or croc? You decide

You've got to be the bravest man in the world to go to Australia. I watched this programme with Billy Connolly once and he said the place scared him to death - there's nine or 10 things that can kill you, including something called a stinger.

He said 'I didn't know if a stinger was going to jump out and shoot me or come out of the sky'. Apparently it's a jellyfish - or nettles if you come from Bristol.

They're tough cookies in Australia, though. Give that bloke in hospital a can of XXXX and he'll be right as rain!

PUNTER'S QUESTION

LCFCguy125: "Hi Ollie, I don't know if you've heard any of this, but there's a big rumour going around Leicester that Rivaldo is going to join from AEK Athens."

Rivaldo? I've never heard anything like it. How old is he now?

He gets knocked down - but can he get up again?

I can't see that being true, although apparently we're in for everybody else if you read these papers. Never believe what you read in the papers.

I am still trying to bring two or three players in. I believe we need some more strength in depth and if I can get them, great, but if you're really busy in the window, it means there's an awful lot wrong.

PUNTER'S QUESTION II

irishLondoner: "Hello Ollie! I hear you are a guest speaker for Great Britain Deaf Football's 'Silver Ball' at Aston Villa soon. Do you think deaf footballers can ever reach the top level?"

It's a subject very close to my heart because my three daughters have lost a sense.

In football it's really important to be able to communicate with people. But I believe if someone like Ryan Giggs was deaf he'd have been good enough to bridge that gap.

It is a drawback because you can't hear your team-mates around you but if you can get your head on a swivel and look around and have more awareness, if you're skill level's up to it, why not?

606: DEBATE

Ask Ollie a question

I believe one day a deaf person could be a professional footballer and I'm very proud and honoured to be invited to speak on that evening. I think we're away at Blackpool so unfortunately I'll be a little late getting there, but I'll be bringing two of my daughters along.

I worked with a lad called Ben who played in the British deaf football team. He's a lovely lad and a very good player. I took him to QPR and helped prepare him for the Olympics, where they got the gold medal. I was so proud of them.

PUNTERS' QUESTIONS III

Yet another update on the long-running debate about what nettles should be called - Ed.

ashishmorjaria: "Listen, me old cocker, I've lived in Leicester for the best part of 34 years and they're not called stingers or nettles. The full Leicesterian description is 'stinging nettles', a bit of a mix of the two if you like. "

nathe_i_boy: "In Aberdeen we call stingers jabbies."

Jabbies! I'm getting really confused about this..we need that botanist, David Bellamy, to sort it out - 'Gwapple me gwape nuts!'

Plain daft - whatever they're called

Jabbies? Is that because when you touch one it jabs you in the arm and it feels like someone's jabbing you with pins afterwards? I like that - it's probably even better than stingers!

I think everyone should now rename them jabbies. Or what about stinging jabbies? Stinging jabbie nettles - there we go - life's getting more and more complicated!

OLLIE AND THE FORKLIFT

I had a go in this forklift truck as part of a promotion for our sponsors. I was mucking about and got our centre-half, Bruno N'Gotty, and moved him up and down.

I need one of them to make myself a bit taller. I might be able to reach the sauce out of the cupboard then, instead of asking my wife to get it for me!

Ian Holloway was talking to BBC Sport

lol

davieG

davieG

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Coincidentally, that testicle story is over two years old, is it not?

It made 'news' again this week thanks to some heavy email forwarding. :whistle:

:yesyes:on the ball so to speak :D:D

Simi

Simi

Posted
Posted
Good read this week, or listen as I listened to it.

Holloways reaction to the testicle incident was class.

:laugh:

"If you wanna get some tiles, gooooo toooo Toopppppsssss Tillllleeeessss"

:laugh:

Unabomber

Unabomber

Posted
Posted
:laugh:

"If you wanna get some tiles, gooooo toooo Toopppppsssss Tillllleeeessss"

:laugh:

Only ever listened to this one and it's much better than reading, his voice cracks me up, the topps tiles bit and when he said about the guy who got attacked by a crocodile and then shot had a bad day.

:D

Foxhateram

Foxhateram

Posted
Posted
Only ever listened to this one and it's much better than reading, his voice cracks me up, the topps tiles bit and when he said about the guy who got attacked by a crocodile and then shot had a bad day.

:D

haha his laugh is great!!! when he laughed about the life on mars. "There is a man on the moon then hahahaha"

"perhaps he used to live on the moon then got bored there, and shot off to mars"

:crylaugh::clap:

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