Depression

[egg_fried_rice]

1 hour ago, Izzy said:

Sometimes I find this thread and other people's depression and suffering overwhelming.

 

Today I delivered a training course and one of the young women on it was very quiet. I tried to get her to engage but she just sat in silence. During the lunch break I took her outside for a chat and she opened up and told me she wanted to kill herself. 

 

We talked for about 90 minutes while the other delegates waited to start and it resulted in her getting collected by her parents and taken to hospital. She cried, I cried, her parents cried and it was all too much. I just about kept it together for the afternoon session but it was playing on my mind.

 

So many people suffering in silence it scares me.

 

It does feel like an epidemic at times.

 

That was a truly compassionate thing you did for her. More people like you, and less would suffer in silence. Well done and thank you.

[TaggertvsWise]

10 hours ago, Buce said:

 

Positive recognition is always welcome but you don't have to be reliant on others for it.

 

This might not help right now if you're feeling shitty, but the next time you're feeling upbeat, sit down with a pen and paper and write down all the things that are good about you; all the things you've achieved; all the times you've made someone happy; all the times you've stood by a mate; all the acts of kindness you've bestowed on others. And when you've done, get it laminated and put it where you know to find it. Then any time you're feeling worthless and anxious, get it out and read it and remind yourself what a top bloke you really are.

Thank you, coincidentally I was looking into what I have heard described as a ‘Gratitude Journal’ which isn’t far off what you are referring to. I had an absolute meltdown last night and my poor wife bore the brunt of it. I am taking the day off work to try and get my thoughts in order as right now work is stressing and tiring me out, making me irritable and too anxious to think straight at the end of the day. I am doing a Tough Mudder in Bradgate Park tomorrow so am hoping if I can go into it with a more balanced mind then it can be the catalyst to pull me out of this current slump and take a few positive steps. As ever, thank you all for allowing me to share on here without fear of judgement.

[spacemunky]

Good article with Danny Rose and Peter Crouch talking about their mental health:

 

https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/48294687

[lifted*fox]

On a stag do in Tallinn at the moment and just can't get into it. Don't want to drink, can't get into the banter. I've literally excused myself from the table to get a coat because it's cold but I've gone back to the apartment and climbed into bed. I feel like I'm being so quiet and disconnected that it's massively noticeable and I'd rather disappear than sit there feeling negative and bringing the mood down (even though I guess it's not that noticeable unless you're in my head).

 

Its a beautiful city but I'm struggling to get into the spirit of the occasion with 15 other guys all heavily drinking, etc. 

 

Living with this shit every day ****ing sucks. 

[Otis]

4 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

On a stag do in Tallinn at the moment and just can't get into it. Don't want to drink, can't get into the banter. I've literally excused myself from the table to get a coat because it's cold but I've gone back to the apartment and climbed into bed. I feel like I'm being so quiet and disconnected that it's massively noticeable and I'd rather disappear than sit there feeling negative and bringing the mood down (even though I guess it's not that noticeable unless you're in my head).

 

Its a beautiful city but I'm struggling to get into the spirit of the occasion with 15 other guys all heavily drinking, etc. 

 

Living with this shit every day ****ing sucks. 

How's it going now.?

[lifted*fox]

48 minutes ago, Otis said:

How's it going now.?

 

Hi mate. I went back out and been ok for a bit but tired again now (it's midnight) and everyone drinking lots and heading to club soon. I'm gonna head back. I've not been drinking (not good when shit is tough enough as it is) so I'm not on it like everyone else and just a bit disconnected. It's OK but I'm hungry. 

 

Thanks for asking dude. 

[Otis]

No worries, sometimes you just need someone to ask, hope for a better day tomorrow and atleast you'll have a clear head.

[Grebfromgrebland]

Get some food in you and maybe some sleep it'll be nuts when everyone gets back from the club or wherever...

[gw_leics772]

22 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

On a stag do in Tallinn at the moment and just can't get into it. Don't want to drink, can't get into the banter. I've literally excused myself from the table to get a coat because it's cold but I've gone back to the apartment and climbed into bed. I feel like I'm being so quiet and disconnected that it's massively noticeable and I'd rather disappear than sit there feeling negative and bringing the mood down (even though I guess it's not that noticeable unless you're in my head).

 

Its a beautiful city but I'm struggling to get into the spirit of the occasion with 15 other guys all heavily drinking, etc. 

 

Living with this shit every day ****ing sucks. 

I feel for you man,i really do.

 

I am in a good place now after a long dark and difficult period, and that obviously helps, but i had a similar experience recently and turned it around into one of my best weekends in years.

 

Took my lad to a football tournament over bank holiday weekend where we stayed over.

My lads first year with the team abd although i felt i fit in well, these people had known each other for years.

First night, arrived 9pm. Others had been there drinking til midday. Had a couple but wasnt really feeling it. Kept my hawkeye on people sloping off (didnt want to be the first) and took my opportunity. One night down. 2 to go.

2nd day. Watching kids football all day, all ok. Then the night time.

Met in bar and literally sat on my own in a chair behind someone else's, outside of the circle. Had to go back to my room for sonething. Rang wife. Not enjoying it. Long night ahead. Felt cliquey out there.

 

Looked at myself in the mirror, pulled my big girl britches up and told myselfz this werkend is what I make it. Went back out with artificially inflated balls of steel (faje it til you make it)  forced myself into a spare seat inside the circle (it wasnt there before) and forced myself into the conversation. The next thing, beer flowed, found myself next to a brother from another mother and we became the life and souls of the night. My jaw ached from laughing so much.

Now feel more integrated with a new circle of actual friends  rather than acquaintances. Looking back i was lucky i sat next to the right bloke (although i did target him as a potential kindred spirit)

I felt like myself, and when i spoke to others i had less in common with, i gravirated back to my safe place (or safe new nutter mate)

 

Just a nice anecdote of a similar experience with a great outcome.

 

He who dares rodders.

 

You know yourself and if you feel capable, but its always worth a try.

 

Chin up fella. Try to enjoy it.

[HighPeakFox]

Not depressed as such, but the success I had came with the inevitable vacuum afterwards (hypo-arousal, I am told), and the massive build-up to the event and so forth took its toll physically (as I knew it would, just not to this extent). 

 

So 2 weeks on I still look like I've not slept enough, even though on weekends I am tending to go back to sleep mid-morning, given half a chance. 

[egg_fried_rice]

Feeling pretty low past couple of days - lowest I've been in quite some time in fact. Too much alcohol and talking with 'successful' friends really ramps up the self criticising story machine in my head. Hard to resist it when your defences are low and you find it difficult to locate the self compassion and positivity within yourself. 

[Izzy]

58 minutes ago, egg_fried_rice said:

Feeling pretty low past couple of days - lowest I've been in quite some time in fact. Too much alcohol and talking with 'successful' friends really ramps up the self criticising story machine in my head. Hard to resist it when your defences are low and you find it difficult to locate the self compassion and positivity within yourself. 

Mate, you understand full well where the human experience comes from - I know you do.

 

You also know that when our defenses are low, that's exactly the time not to trust our thoughts or believe them to be our reality. Mix that in with a cocktail of alcohol and talking with 'successful' friends and no wonder you're feeling pretty low.

 

And my guess is that your friends might 'appear' successful, but I wonder if they are really happy and fulfilled? Many people work extremely hard to put on a show and project themselves as successful, but deep down they're not O.K. 

 

It's one of life's myths that "success leads to happiness" and actually it's the other way around. The self compassion and positivity is absolutely within yourself but you'll only see it when you have clarity and a mind that is at rest. 

[Izzy]

5 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

Not depressed as such, but the success I had came with the inevitable vacuum afterwards (hypo-arousal, I am told), and the massive build-up to the event and so forth took its toll physically (as I knew it would, just not to this extent). 

 

So 2 weeks on I still look like I've not slept enough, even though on weekends I am tending to go back to sleep mid-morning, given half a chance. 

You know yourself Peaky, and knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

 

Trust your vibes and follow your intuition my friend.

[egg_fried_rice]

54 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Mate, you understand full well where the human experience comes from - I know you do.

 

You also know that when our defenses are low, that's exactly the time not to trust our thoughts or believe them to be our reality. Mix that in with a cocktail of alcohol and talking with 'successful' friends and no wonder you're feeling pretty low.

 

And my guess is that your friends might 'appear' successful, but I wonder if they are really happy and fulfilled? Many people work extremely hard to put on a show and project themselves as successful, but deep down they're not O.K. 

 

It's one of life's myths that "success leads to happiness" and actually it's the other way around. The self compassion and positivity is absolutely within yourself but you'll only see it when you have clarity and a mind that is at rest. 

Thank you mate. You're right of course - I know exactly where these feelings are coming from. It's just the stories can be so bloody convincing at times, especially when they're coming thick and fast and you don't even realise it. Before you know it, they've wormed their way in and made their impact.

 

I at least feel more resilient now - like I can bounce back a bit quicker, put it down to experience. That's definite progress. It's still a real struggle to locate the good stuff within though - I've not had that sort of relationship with myself for as long as I can remember really.

[Izzy]

2 hours ago, egg_fried_rice said:

Thank you mate. You're right of course - I know exactly where these feelings are coming from. It's just the stories can be so bloody convincing at times, especially when they're coming thick and fast and you don't even realise it. Before you know it, they've wormed their way in and made their impact.

 

I at least feel more resilient now - like I can bounce back a bit quicker, put it down to experience. That's definite progress. It's still a real struggle to locate the good stuff within though - I've not had that sort of relationship with myself for as long as I can remember really.

I know mate, and that's why it's so important we keep telling ourselves new and more empowering stories.

 

It's great that you're more resilient now and you're right that it is definite progress. And there's lots of good stuff within if you'll just give yourself permission to recognize it and let it out. Time to let your diamond shine and be grateful for the many good things in your life.

 

When we're grateful, there's just no room for all the dark stuff to get in.

[HybridFox]

Thought the documentaries by BBC on mental health so far have been fantastic. Would thoroughly recommend catching up on iPlayer. The Nadiya Hussain one really struck a cord with me and I enjoyed the Royal Team Talk.

 

Having discussions elevated on to a platform like this is a start and can only be a good thing moving forward.

Edited 20 May 2019 by TK95

[Costock_Fox]

7 hours ago, egg_fried_rice said:

Feeling pretty low past couple of days - lowest I've been in quite some time in fact. Too much alcohol and talking with 'successful' friends really ramps up the self criticising story machine in my head. Hard to resist it when your defences are low and you find it difficult to locate the self compassion and positivity within yourself. 

You seemed like a nice bloke when I met you in Huddersfield mate, stay positive.

[Costock_Fox]

Has anyone had any luck with CBD oil? I’ve got some that I bought for my dog from America and I don’t think it’s quite legal over here. I’m not sure if it will do any good and it may be the placebo affect but I felt a bit, err, different.

 

I haven’t been sleeping too well recently so hopefully that helps.

[Izzy]

17 minutes ago, TK95 said:

Thought the documentaries by BBC on mental health so far have been fantastic. Would thoroughly recommend catching up on iPlayer. The Nadiya Hussain one really struck a cord with me and I enjoyed the Royal Team Talk.

 

Having discussions elevated on to a platform like this is a start and can only be a good thing moving forward.

Thought it was superb.

 

I know the Royals get a lot of stick but I really like Prince William and think he was brilliant in it (as were the players too).

[egg_fried_rice]

20 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

You seemed like a nice bloke when I met you in Huddersfield mate, stay positive.

Thanks for the well wishes mate. You're right, I am a ruddy ok bloke.

 

16 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

Has anyone had any luck with CBD oil? I’ve got some that I bought for my dog from America and I don’t think it’s quite legal over here. I’m not sure if it will do any good and it may be the placebo affect but I felt a bit, err, different.

 

I haven’t been sleeping too well recently so hopefully that helps.

Yes, I take it and it has improved how I fall asleep. It calms my night time anxiety which is usually when my brain is in its most overactive state. If you're taking it for sleep, I would advise low and slow - low doseage, built up over time. I tried a higher strength oil and it made my anxiety worse. I use liquid gold from simply cbd - you can email them with questions and request lab reports etc. 

 

There are a couple of Facebook groups where they discuss things in great detail which I found was a good place to start learning a bit more.

[Costock_Fox]

1 minute ago, egg_fried_rice said:

Thanks for the well wishes mate. You're right, I am a ruddy ok bloke.

 

Yes, I take it and it has improved how I fall asleep. It calms my night time anxiety which is usually when my brain is in its most overactive state. If you're taking it for sleep, I would advise low and slow - low doseage, built up over time. I tried a higher strength oil and it made my anxiety worse. I use liquid gold from simply cbd - you can email them with questions and request lab reports etc. 

 

There are a couple of Facebook groups where they discuss things in great detail which I found was a good place to start learning a bit more.

Thanks, I’ve just looked at the lab report for the one I’ve got but no idea really what’s what.

 

Yeah I only had one drop the other day. What is a normal human dose?

[egg_fried_rice]

@Costock_Fox Well it really depends on the strength of the oil and the purpose. The one I use is 1mg cbd per drop, and I have 4 drops three times a day. That is very much on the low end.

Edited 20 May 2019 by egg_fried_rice

[Costock_Fox]

1 minute ago, egg_fried_rice said:

@Costock_Fox Well it really depends on the strength of the oil and the purpose. The one I use is 1mg cbd per drop, and I have 4 drops three times a day. That is very much on the low end.

This one is about 2.4mg per drop I think so I’ll bear that in mind thanks.

[CollinsLCFC]

Hi all.

 

I really do not want to be seen as being insincere/inconsiderate by promoting here, but I feel it is relevant and all for a good cause.

 

My Sister, who was diagnosed with Bipolar over 20 years ago has recently wrote a book, 'Journey of the Mad', which gives a great insight to mental health and her personal struggles. It also includes poems she has wrote over the years during her emotional states.

 

My Sister has opted to donate all her royalties to Lamp Advocacy: Mental Health Care and Support Leicester. No profit will be made and it will all go to help people suffering with mental health issues.

 

I have seen first hand how difficult mental health can be, the struggle it can be for the diagnosed and their Family and Friends. I wish to promote the book all for a good cause.

 

It is currently £2.50 on Kindle and £6.99 for paperback.

 

Thanks all.

Edited 21 May 2019 by CollinsLCFC

[HybridFox]

Saw the Alistair Campbell documentary about depression earlier.

 

There was one thing in particular that I'm sure many of us will relate to. He says the one place where he could completely switch off all the negative thoughts was when he went to Turf Moor to watch his team Burnley play. For that period, he will be fully focussed on the game.

 

I feel completely the same about Leicester City. During those 90 mins, I'm completely living the moment, nothing else enters my mind. It's hard to explain why, it's just a passion.

 

The frustrating thing is I guess not being able to channel those same feelings into other walks of life to help us cope better with our mental health.

Edited 21 May 2019 by TK95