Depression

[HighPeakFox]

2 minutes ago, Wymeswold fox said:

This thread just shows that coming out about this sort of sensitive topic can open doors for guidance/help/support for a high-potential more positive mindset for a better future (happiness etc).

 

Seriously - this thread needs to be recognised by some of the local agencies and services and media outlets; as it's certainly telling readers that it's ok to open up about this type of thing (that happens to millions of people) and that there are people out there that are sympathetic and want to advise as much as they can about a 'taboo' of society..

Interesting isn't it? We live in a society where admitting you're ever wrong appears to be taboo, and dealing with mental illness is the definition of conceding that there's something wrong. Things might be much better in all respects if, as a people, we were more willing to take responsibility for our wrongs.

[Milo]

10 minutes ago, Wymeswold fox said:

This thread just shows that coming out about this sort of sensitive topic can open doors for guidance/help/support for a high-potential more positive mindset for a better future (happiness etc).

 

Seriously - this thread needs to be recognised by some of the local agencies and services and media outlets; as it's certainly telling readers that it's ok to open up about this type of thing (that happens to millions of people) and that there are people out there that are sympathetic and want to advise as much as they can about a 'taboo' of society..

 

Hope someone from the Leicester Mercury try reads this thread (as some on here suggest they do, to create their own 'click-bait stories..) and creates an article about this topic and mentions this website, to try and urge more local people struggling underneath to talk about their feelings/problems more.

Agree - and @Izzy should be fvcking knighted, imo...

 

 

[Izzy]

32 minutes ago, Milo said:

Agree - and @Izzy should be fvcking knighted, imo...

 

 

Well that's embarrassing mate, thanks 

 

There's literally dozens of posters on this thread now that contribute regularly and the numbers keep growing, which is brilliant.

 

I think the message is simple. If any of us have benefited from help and support ourselves, our responsibility is to then 'pay it forward' to others who are now in need.

 

And if I may also embarrass someone, I'd like to nominate @Crinklyfox for a knighthood. The blokes a legend on this thread.

 

[Costock_Fox]

21 hours ago, Izzy said:

If you can afford it, I'd look at private counselling mate.

 

I paid about £40 per hour session and it was the best money I ever spent.

 

My therapist was certified in the 'Gestalt' approach and here's a link to Gestalt practitioners in Leicester.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/gestalt/eng/leicester

 

They usually do an assessment first to make sure the client/therapist is the right 'fit' and then go from there.

 

Best of luck mate  

 

Thanks for this, he’s booked in with one tomorrow.

[Finnegan]

1 hour ago, Wymeswold fox said:

This thread just shows that coming out about this sort of sensitive topic can open doors for guidance/help/support for a high-potential more positive mindset for a better future (happiness etc).

 

Seriously - this thread needs to be recognised by some of the local agencies and services and media outlets; as it's certainly telling readers that it's ok to open up about this type of thing (that happens to millions of people) and that there are people out there that are sympathetic and want to advise as much as they can about a 'taboo' of society..

 

Hope someone from the Leicester Mercury try reads this thread (as some on here suggest they do, to create their own 'click-bait stories..) and creates an article about this topic and mentions this website, to try and urge more local people struggling underneath to talk about their feelings/problems more.

 

**** no. 

[Bob Hazels shorts]

Just got back from a funeral sadly the depression demons got a grip with my pal, but he hid very well.

 

Great life, friends and well supported.

 

If he'd had the opportunity to look from the outside and see and realize the affection generally he'd still be here.

 

Often its a case of 'that'll show them' but it can't be undone

[Izzy]

On 24/04/2019 at 07:31, Fosse93 said:

Had a major panic attack last night, after a few minor attacks in the last few weeks. Anyone else unfortunate enough to have experience of this? Scary stuff.

 

Think I may need to see the doc about some medication, I was majorly depressed/anxious this time last year but put it down to the stress of my new job and still getting to grips with being a dad. I went to my GP who offered me some meds but I declined, stupid decision looking back.

 

I just overthink everything, like putting the bins out is a major deal to me and small shit like that, going to get a drinks round in the office etc.

 

I build relatively minor situations up in my head to be this huge obstacle when other people can do these things without even thinking.

 

My brain is weird 

 

Sounds like you know what you need to do fella. 

 

It's been years since I've had a panic attack and I'd forgotten how scary they can be. If the offer of meds is still there from your GP, then it might be worth a go this time?

 

The 'overthinking' bit crops up a lot on this thread and as many others have suggested, CBT is an option that many would also recommend. Your GP should also be able to put you in touch with the right people.

 

If it's any consolation, all of our brains are weird. The problem is that we can get caught up in our thinking and then end up in such a state. Just because we think something might happen, it doesn't mean it will happen, but we fool our brain into believing it to be real. This fear of things happening (when actually the odds are massively in favour of them not happening at all) causes us to panic and flip out. Remember, FEAR stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. 

 

When our heads are full of thoughts it's very difficult to be calm and see clearly. Meditation is another option that you might benefit from. 

 

Go easy on yourself mate and try to slow things down a bit. There's plenty of help out there so be brave and go and ask for it. 

 

[stripeyfox]

1 hour ago, Milo said:

Agree - and @Izzy should be fvcking knighted, imo...

 

 

seconded.

 

The beauty of this thread I think is that posters are familiar enough with each other but there is some anonymity.

 

Speaking from my own personal experience, when I had a crisis in my own life last year (not necessarily "Depression" as such but was certainly affecting my mental well being), even though I had close friends who I am sure would have helped me if I had asked - I didn't feel able or ready to reach out to them. 

 

So I turned to people on here, and one person in particular - @Izzy- and laid out my problems to him. And he listened and responded and helped me so much to see a way forward. Patiently listening and helping. He is an absolute diamond but I am sure he'd be the first to point out that there are plenty of others on here who would do the same. But having someone who was disconnected from my own family and social circles who I could go to was absolutely crucial in my being able to navigate my way through my own personal crisis.

 

Everyone should feel safe to post anything in here, safe in the knowledge that they will get help without judgement and the pure fact that the discussion is taking place is providing a greater good to everyone who uses this thread.

 

Every post adds to the mutual help for posters now and those who may read it in the future.

 

Much love all of you guys who contribute to this thread x

 

 

[Buce]

1 hour ago, Costock_Fox said:

Thanks for this, he’s booked in with one tomorrow.

 

Nice one.

 

Just be sure not to neglect your own needs, mate.

[Izzy]

59 minutes ago, stripeyfox said:

seconded.

 

The beauty of this thread I think is that posters are familiar enough with each other but there is some anonymity.

 

Speaking from my own personal experience, when I had a crisis in my own life last year (not necessarily "Depression" as such but was certainly affecting my mental well being), even though I had close friends who I am sure would have helped me if I had asked - I didn't feel able or ready to reach out to them. 

 

So I turned to people on here, and one person in particular - @Izzy- and laid out my problems to him. And he listened and responded and helped me so much to see a way forward. Patiently listening and helping. He is an absolute diamond but I am sure he'd be the first to point out that there are plenty of others on here who would do the same. But having someone who was disconnected from my own family and social circles who I could go to was absolutely crucial in my being able to navigate my way through my own personal crisis.

 

Everyone should feel safe to post anything in here, safe in the knowledge that they will get help without judgement and the pure fact that the discussion is taking place is providing a greater good to everyone who uses this thread.

 

Every post adds to the mutual help for posters now and those who may read it in the future.

 

Much love all of you guys who contribute to this thread x

 

Bless you mate and I'm so happy things have turned around positively for you  All I was trying to do is 'pay it forward' really. 

 

Not sure if I've confessed yet, but when I was in hospital 18 months ago I was in a pretty bad way (physically and mentally). At times I was so poorly and sick I couldn't even muster up the energy to post on FT and I'd lost interest in everything. Despite texts, e-mails, phone messages and visits from friends and family, I didn't want to talk to anyone I knew.

 

What really kept me going was dozens of DM's on here from total strangers. I still look back on them now with much affection and I could list many, many posters who took the time out to offer help and support.

 

But there was one poster in particular who DM'd me every day without fail for about 2 months. Sometimes even more than once a day but he made sure he 'checked in' with me even when I just wanted the world to fvck off and leave me to die. He kept me going and had an uncanny knack of knowing what to say and how to keep me positive.

 

He'll hate me for embarrassing him, but I'll always be grateful to @Buce for that.

 

....and I'm sure he was just 'paying in forward' too 

[Costock_Fox]

40 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Nice one.

 

Just be sure not to neglect your own needs, mate.

Easier said than done at the minute  

[Wymsey]

2 hours ago, Finnegan said:

 

**** no. 

Genuinely, why not?

[lifted*fox]

For me this thread, even though very open with 'strangers' is still somewhat private to our own little family. I can't say I'd be too comfortable with the entire city peering into the thread and reading through all of our woes, etc. Would somewhat sour the spirit of the thread, for me, anyway. 

 

I suppose that's always the risk of opening up on a public forum though. 

[urban.spaceman]

10 hours ago, Izzy said:

I wasn't really 'aware' of the method/process I was being taken through until after I'd finished my year of therapy tbh. Most sessions it was me doing 90% of the talking and getting stuff off my chest that I'd been bottling up for many years. I didn't really do any research beforehand and chose my therapist on the recommendation of a trusted friend.

 

It was only when we'd finished my final session that I asked my therapist what method she'd used and she explained Gestalt to me. I suppose in simple terms it's about breaking life down into it's individual parts to help identify where the problems and issues come from. For me there was a lot of guilt on my part around certain events and relationships and the process helped me realise that I wasn't to blame.  

 

It helped me to see things from a different perspective while remaining grounded and in the present, although we spent a lot of time looking back on why things happened and the impact they had on me.

 

I've no idea if Gestalt is better/worse than other methods and approaches but all I know is that it worked for me. The main thing is that I felt safe and trusted and could open up about my inner most secrets without fear of judgement. 

 

Whoever you book and whatever method they use, I hope it will be beneficial for you mate 

 

5 hours ago, egg_fried_rice said:

Adding my recommendations for private therapy too. Coupled with meditation, it has helped me gain some distance from my thoughts - I no longer am my thoughts and feelings, they are just something that happen to me. That's a profound difference from a few years ago. It's not the be all and end all and you'll still face difficult times, but it really can be life changing. 

 

@Izzy covers most of the bases above - gaining a different perspective and identifying a possible route for certain unhelpful ways of thinking can generate a real feeling of unburdening and expansiveness. @urban.spaceman I think it will be great for you buddy  

 

Also, don't be afraid to 'shop around'. It is so important you find a therapist and environment you can trust and feel safe in, as this will enable you to be honest with yourself and them. It can be frustrating, especially when you commit time and money for a few weeks before realising it isn't the best fit, but don't be put off if it doesn't click at first.

Have just (finally) contacted a local counsellor for a session, hopefully very soon. I don’t think she offers this Gestalt method but after researching her a bit she seems like the best option for me at the minute in terms of proximity and I can just about afford it. Fingers crossed!

 

 

4 hours ago, Wymeswold fox said:

This thread just shows that coming out about this sort of sensitive topic can open doors for guidance/help/support for a high-potential more positive mindset for a better future (happiness etc).

 

Seriously - this thread needs to be recognised by some of the local agencies and services and media outlets; as it's certainly telling readers that it's ok to open up about this type of thing (that happens to millions of people) and that there are people out there that are sympathetic and want to advise as much as they can about a 'taboo' of society..

 

Hope someone from the Leicester Mercury try reads this thread (as some on here suggest they do, to create their own 'click-bait stories..) and creates an article about this topic and mentions this website, to try and urge more local people struggling underneath to talk about their feelings/problems more.

If this happens I would henceforth like to be referred to as Tyrion. 

 

"I drink and I know things"

Edited 25 April 2019 by urban.spaceman

[FoxesDeb]

14 minutes ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Genuinely, why not?

I feel pretty anonymous here, and so I'm OK with posting fairly personal stuff. I'm not sure that people in the wider community wouldn't be unable to work out who I am IRL though, so I for one would be uncomfortable with the Mercury linking to it. I fully understand that anyone can read the forum, so I'm still open to being discovered, but it still feels safe. That probably makes no sense whatsoever but I know what I mean 

[Izzy]

19 minutes ago, FoxesDeb said:

That probably makes no sense whatsoever but I know what I mean 

[Finnegan]

42 minutes ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Genuinely, why not?

 

1. As supportive and nice as this thread is, Foxestalk on the whole isn't a community for supporting people through mental health. It is nice that foxestalk has this thread but there would be much better bespoke communities out there to recommend to a struggling person. 

 

2. Foxestalk doesn't need an influx of even weirder people that have literally only signed up for emotional support. Especially to then probably be traumatised by the rest of the site. 

 

3. This thread is nice because it's an intimate, safe space for a handful of members of an otherwise already fairly close knit community - it wouldn't benefit from being overrun with either an influx of sufferers or weird stalkers. 

 

4. On a selfish note, if this thread ever got too much attention, I'd want every post I've ever made to immediately be deleted please. I've already had one instance of my long term partner being shown a post in here in which I admitted I'd called the samaritans when I was suicidal.

 

Foxestalk isn't really that anonymous, it's probably fairly easy to social media stalk most members and work out who they are, clearly there are lurkers on here who already know who I am in real life and that's not to mention the people I've met because of FT. 

 

I already post in here less than I used to as a result of that above incident and the fact I know some people from my work use FT and I think they've clocked who I am (I'm as mouthy and opinionated and known for being Welsh in real life as I am on here, it's not hard to work out) - I wouldn't want to be even more locally famous for being an actual certified crazy person. 

 

I doubt I'm alone on 4.

 

5. Absolutely and totally **** the modern media click bait machine and absolutely and totally **** them making money by exploiting the **** out of us for profit. C U N T S

Edited 25 April 2019 by Finnegan

[Buce]

1 hour ago, Izzy said:

Bless you mate and I'm so happy things have turned around positively for you  All I was trying to do is 'pay it forward' really. 

 

Not sure if I've confessed yet, but when I was in hospital 18 months ago I was in a pretty bad way (physically and mentally). At times I was so poorly and sick I couldn't even muster up the energy to post on FT and I'd lost interest in everything. Despite texts, e-mails, phone messages and visits from friends and family, I didn't want to talk to anyone I knew.

 

What really kept me going was dozens of DM's on here from total strangers. I still look back on them now with much affection and I could list many, many posters who took the time out to offer help and support.

 

But there was one poster in particular who DM'd me every day without fail for about 2 months. Sometimes even more than once a day but he made sure he 'checked in' with me even when I just wanted the world to fvck off and leave me to die. He kept me going and had an uncanny knack of knowing what to say and how to keep me positive.

 

He'll hate me for embarrassing him, but I'll always be grateful to @Buce for that.

 

....and I'm sure he was just 'paying in forward' too 

 

Meh, it's what friends do, bro.

 

No big deal.

[HighPeakFox]

Yes, I'm with @Finnegan on this. 

[Buce]

1 minute ago, HighPeakFox said:

Yes, I'm with @Finnegan on this. 

 

Yep.

 

As unlikely as it seems, so am I.

[Wymsey]

32 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

 

1. As supportive and nice as this thread is, Foxestalk on the whole isn't a community for supporting people through mental health. It is nice that foxestalk has this thread but there would be much better bespoke communities out there to recommend to a struggling person. 

 

2. Foxestalk doesn't need an influx of even weirder people that have literally only signed up for emotional support. Especially to then probably be traumatised by the rest of the site. 

 

3. This thread is nice because it's an intimate, safe space for a handful of members of an otherwise already fairly close knit community - it wouldn't benefit from being overrun with either an influx of sufferers or weird stalkers. 

 

4. On a selfish note, if this thread ever got too much attention, I'd want every post I've ever made to immediately be deleted please. I've already had one instance of my long term partner being shown a post in here in which I admitted I'd called the samaritans when I was suicidal.

 

Foxestalk isn't really that anonymous, it's probably fairly easy to social media stalk most members and work out who they are, clearly there are lurkers on here who already know who I am in real life and that's not to mention the people I've met because of FT. 

 

I already post in here less than I used to as a result of that above incident and the fact I know some people from my work use FT and I think they've clocked who I am (I'm as mouthy and opinionated and known for being Welsh in real life as I am on here, it's not hard to work out) - I wouldn't want to be even more locally famous for being an actual certified crazy person. 

 

I doubt I'm alone on 4.

 

5. Absolutely and totally **** the modern media click bait machine and absolutely and totally **** them making money by exploiting the **** out of us for profit. C U N T S

 

In hindsight, with your reasonings here, I now actually reject my earlier suggestion.

As your points state, the idea would probably make this thread and forum less pleasant if it had more attention due to this subject matter.

 

Had the idea initially, as very strongly doubt that there's a football forum anyone in the UK and/or even further afield that has a support thread like this on a topic in which its awareness is ever-increasing in today's world.

Edited 25 April 2019 by Wymeswold fox

[Costock_Fox]

I’d genuinely delete my profile if that happened. I’m sure plenty of people on here know who I am.

[Buce]

49 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

I’d genuinely delete my profile if that happened. I’m sure plenty of people on here know who I am.

 

Nah, mate.

 

Costock fox from Countesthorpe is well confusing...

[Costock_Fox]

3 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Nah, mate.

 

Costock fox from Countesthorpe is well confusing...

Haha. I’ve had my picture posted on here photoshopped on 100 penguins mate.

[stripeyfox]

1 hour ago, Costock_Fox said:

I’d genuinely delete my profile if that happened. I’m sure plenty of people on here know who I am.

If it's any consolation I have no idea who you are.