Depression

[Izzy]

31 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

 

Regards the anxiety, best bit of advice I got on the issue when it came to sleep - I think it actually came from Bellend Sebastian on here: give up.

 

Seriously. Give in, just accept you're probably not going to sleep, don't worry about it, lay down and just enjoy doing nothing anyway. Genuinely worked for me, as stupid as it sounds.

Doesn't sound stupid at all. In fact it's great advice.

Often we can't sleep because our mind is racing and we're busy thinking about our thinking. There is a great book called 'Do Nothing!' by Damian Mark Smyth which is all about this. When we give up, surrender, stop fighting, get out of our own way, or whatever you want to call it, our mind returns to it's natural state of calm and clarity and then we're free to sleep.

I'm sure we've discussed meditation or 'mindfulness' before on this thread, and I'd encourage anyone suffering from anxiety or depression to look into it...

[Izzy]

17 minutes ago, Emilio Lestavez said:

In terms of sleeping as someone who does shifts I'd recommend going to an audiologist at your local hospital to get moulds of your ears and get some custom silicone ones done. Took ages to get used to sleeping with them but they really are great.

 

As Finnegan says check out the other things that may help cut out distraction. Also check out https://justgetflux.com/ which will reduce the blue in your screen at designated times if you happen to be using phones/tablets/laptop or whatever which will help (although I'd advise turning off completely).

 

As someone who suffers with depression (in part caused by the shifts I do) I have to say that sleep and diet are heavily related to how bad it seems and how I manage it. Obviously I can't change the way my current shifts work but I have to manage it as best as I can. Even though I know that when I'm thinking logically it doesn't stop me personally ignoring my own advice when at my lowest. I'm not sure it ever necessarily goes away but you learn to live with it.

 

There's been some really good advice in this thread and I hope people continue to talk about it as it definitely helps and helps reduce the perceived stigma of it.

 

 

The bit in bold is really important to recognise in my experience. 

When we're feeling at our lowest, it's not a good time to trust our thoughts, make decisions or take action.

I've noticed that some days when I'm feeling low, even the smallest little things can annoy me. And then the next day when I'm feeling good, these small things are insignificant and don't bother me at all. The 'thing' is still the same, so it has to be my thinking about the thing which is the issue.

Once I learnt this everything changed for me. I used to think about life 'outside - in' and blamed external events for how I feel. Then I realised it's not the 'event' at all that made me feel a certain way, it's my thinking about the event. 

 

[Finnegan]

15 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Doesn't sound stupid at all. In fact it's great advice.

Often we can't sleep because our mind is racing and we're busy thinking about our thinking. There is a great book called 'Do Nothing!' by Damian Mark Smyth which is all about this. When we give up, surrender, stop fighting, get out of our own way, or whatever you want to call it, our mind returns to it's natural state of calm and clarity and then we're free to sleep.

I'm sure we've discussed meditation or 'mindfulness' before on this thread, and I'd encourage anyone suffering from anxiety or depression to look into it...

 

 

We read a book James recommend called Mindfulness. It was good for my OH, it was well written and I don't doubt it's value.

 

I found myself too cynical to really engage in a lot of it though. 

[Izzy]

7 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

 

 

We read a book James recommend called Mindfulness. It was good for my OH, it was well written and I don't doubt it's value.

 

I found myself too cynical to really engage in a lot of it though. 

Yeah, I get the whole cynicism thing. I resisted this field for ages thinking it was all 'happy clappy voodoo' and psychobabble. Then eventually I stopped resisting and threw myself into research and haven't looked back since.

I think one of the problems is that the whole area of 'self help' generally gets a bad rap - especially with young alpha males. And some of the stuff out there is a bag of shite, but there's also some stuff which has helped me tremendously. Each to their own and all that...

[Benguin]

45 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I'm going to sound like a scratched record here and maybe a little annoying, so my apologies!

Even though you say it's your body rather than your mind that's affected, my understanding and experience would suggest the physical symptoms you talk about are a manifestation of your thinking. 

It always starts with our thinking - always. The examples you give of doing a speech or riding a roller coaster are typical of situations that can make people anxious, and in your case your physiology changes with heart palpitations. For others it can be loss of breath, light headedness or sweating. They're all just physical reactions to our thoughts that we believe to be true. What if I embarrass myself with my speech? What if the roller coaster crashes? What if...? What if..?

Next time you get these symptoms when half asleep or watching TV, just notice if they directly follow some sort of worrying thinking. I might be wrong, but I'd be surprised if they 'just came out of nowhere'. 

The only 'tip' I have is to not take your thinking too seriously and don't always trust it to be true. Our thinking is not our reality and often we just 'make it up bad' in our head and then the physical symptoms follow. And it's all fear. Fear of what 'might' happen but more often than not never transpires. When we're anxious we can run high levels of cortisol and adrenaline and our body 'prepares' us by taking blood from our brain and pumping it into our muscles. I'm sure we've all had our heart skip a beat when we nearly have a car crash. It's just a rush of cortisol and our body preparing us to deal with a possible threat - the same as it did 100,000 years ago when sabre tooth Tigers were chasing us. If we can notice our thinking and 'catch ourselves' before the negative spiral begins, we can reduce the threat and fear and our body relaxes to its normal state. We are living in the feeling of our thinking - 100% of the time.

 

 

 

This is the issue though and the reason I was surprised to be told it was anxiety by the doctor, I don't really feel in my mind that I am anxious anymore than the average person but my body regularly tells me I am. I've had all sorts of tests to see if there is anything else at play but they're all normal. Your description of being prepared to fight is spot on though, I can be falling asleep and then I'll have one of those palpitations that makes me feel like my heart is jumping out of my body and I'll be on edge and unable to sleep for several hours. I've been thinking that I might be subconsciously really anxious about things but I'm not sure. Anyway I've just booked a doctors appointment to discuss it all and hopefully I'll get some answers. The ones where it feels like when you jump at a horror film are not fun so want to try and get rid of them! Thanks for your advice

[CKB]

2 hours ago, Benguin said:

Not really depression related but think people in this thread might have some tips. I have anxiety in the medical sense, all though it's purely my body rather than my mind that's affected, couldn't believe it when I was told as I generally only ever feel anxious in normal situations like before doing a speech or getting strapped in on a rollercoaster. Anyway one of the major symptoms I get is heart palpitations, I often feel like my heart skips a beat or I can feel my heart beating against my pillow from my neck. This has developed this year and I get this new palp that is pretty concerning. Feels like when someone makes you jump. I can be half asleep, or watching tv on the sofa and my whole body just jumps out of its skin. Anyone with anxiety experienced this? Any tips to subdue it other than the normal avoiding caffeine etc?

Oh I've experienced this plenty of times! It's very strange! Usually happens with me when I'm not fully asleep/very relaxed and you just have that shock moment where you kick ya leg out or arm or anything. My psychiatrist nurse said we all do it at times but sometimes it can happen on a regular basis due to anxiety, sleep issues, depression, etc. Not sure if anything can reduce it? as it's happened with me when I've been less anxious, less depressed, etc

 

I get that heartbeat feeling aswell, it comes and goes with me. I've not really got any suggestions I'm afraid. Sometimes it can just be one of them things, I've tried easing the caffeine, trying meditation, relaxing music, etc and it's not worked for me. I've felt this heartbeat issue when anxious and not anxious, depressed and not, etc

 

The body/mind can give us all crazy moments/symptoms at times which usually are absolutely nothing in the end

Edited 26 January 2017 by CKB

[leicesterlad1989]

I have been debating writing in this thread for quite sometime now and I read it on a regular basis to check for updates on everybody. The reason I have not written any sooner is because as far as I am aware, I do not suffer from depression nor anxiety. I have however been the 'supportive partner' throughout depression and anxiety.

 

My misses suffers / suffered from anxiety and depression and throughout the early stages I didn't understand it and I probably made the situation a million times worse. I am not suggesting I was the sort of person who doesn't believe in depression (it's very sad but people do still believe that to be the case), I just didn't realise that my misses was suffering.

 

Her anxiety would be made worse throughout a prolonged period of time away from her. Her thought process didn't make any sense to me and I genuinely believed that she didn't trust me and her thoughts weren't logical...logic being the key phrase. I sensed the depression a long time before I realised about the anxiety due to things that had occurred in her life i.e. the death of her mum. That made sense to me and again was a logical reason for her to potentially be depressed.

 

Anyway things eventually exploded and I realised that she needed help and more importantly she realised she needed it too. Of course the first step was the medication, which did seem to work with the depression but not so much for the anxiety side of things. She eventually took part in counselling on a weekly basis, where she would open up and express her feelings, something which at times she struggled to do with myself due to my lack of understanding and knowledge. Plus I had a habit of talking too much and trying to retune her thoughts rather than listening.

 

The counselling worked wonders for her. The ability for her to discuss her thoughts without anyone judging really helped clear her mind and gave her methods to prevent her panic attacks. After one such session I spoke to the counsellor to seek advice on how I should act (sounds stupid now) and one thing that will always stick with me is the discussion of logic. He effectively said I needed to stop trying to think logically about the things she was saying, as the way my misses mind was working through a panic attack was not logical. I should sit and listen but don't force her to speak and I should not put words into her mouth.

 

Do you know what, the counselling, the advice I received and the medication has worked wonders and I have to thank the NHS for that. A year later and she no longer attends counselling nor does she take medication. The anxiety will always be there but between us we know how to cope and deal with such events.

 

Reading threads like this makes me proud to know that people are out there discussing their emotions and feelings without being judged.

 

Sorry for such a long ramble. It's so long I am not going to even proof read it.

 

[CKB]

2 minutes ago, leicesterlad1989 said:

I have been debating writing in this thread for quite sometime now and I read it on a regular basis to check for updates on everybody. The reason I have not written any sooner is because as far as I am aware, I do not suffer from depression nor anxiety. I have however been the 'supportive partner' throughout depression and anxiety.

 

My misses suffers / suffered from anxiety and depression and throughout the early stages I didn't understand it and I probably made the situation a million times worse. I am not suggesting I was the sort of person who doesn't believe in depression (it's very sad but people do still believe that to be the case), I just didn't realise that my misses was suffering.

 

Her anxiety would be made worse throughout a prolonged period of time away from her. Her thought process didn't make any sense to me and I genuinely believed that she didn't trust me and her thoughts weren't logical...logic being the key phrase. I sensed the depression a long time before I realised about the anxiety due to things that had occurred in her life i.e. the death of her mum. That made sense to me and again was a logical reason for her to potentially be depressed.

 

Anyway things eventually exploded and I realised that she needed help and more importantly she realised she needed it too. Of course the first step was the medication, which did seem to work with the depression but not so much for the anxiety side of things. She eventually took part in counselling on a weekly basis, where she would open up and express her feelings, something which at times she struggled to do with myself due to my lack of understanding and knowledge. Plus I had a habit of talking too much and trying to retune her thoughts rather than listening.

 

The counselling worked wonders for her. The ability for her to discuss her thoughts without anyone judging really helped clear her mind and gave her methods to prevent her panic attacks. After one such session I spoke to the counsellor to seek advice on how I should act (sounds stupid now) and one thing that will always stick with me is the discussion of logic. He effectively said I needed to stop trying to think logically about the things she was saying, as the way my misses mind was working through a panic attack was not logical. I should sit and listen but don't force her to speak and I should not put words into her mouth.

 

Do you know what, the counselling, the advice I received and the medication has worked wonders and I have to thank the NHS for that. A year later and she no longer attends counselling nor does she take medication. The anxiety will always be there but between us we know how to cope and deal with such events.

 

Reading threads like this makes me proud to know that people are out there discussing their emotions and feelings without being judged.

 

Sorry for such a long ramble. It's so long I am not going to even proof read it.

 

It's fantastic to hear that things are on the up! When treatment works then it's awesome to hear them stories

 

All the best for the future ??

[Izzy]

53 minutes ago, leicesterlad1989 said:

I have been debating writing in this thread for quite sometime now and I read it on a regular basis to check for updates on everybody. The reason I have not written any sooner is because as far as I am aware, I do not suffer from depression nor anxiety. I have however been the 'supportive partner' throughout depression and anxiety.

 

My misses suffers / suffered from anxiety and depression and throughout the early stages I didn't understand it and I probably made the situation a million times worse. I am not suggesting I was the sort of person who doesn't believe in depression (it's very sad but people do still believe that to be the case), I just didn't realise that my misses was suffering.

 

Her anxiety would be made worse throughout a prolonged period of time away from her. Her thought process didn't make any sense to me and I genuinely believed that she didn't trust me and her thoughts weren't logical...logic being the key phrase. I sensed the depression a long time before I realised about the anxiety due to things that had occurred in her life i.e. the death of her mum. That made sense to me and again was a logical reason for her to potentially be depressed.

 

Anyway things eventually exploded and I realised that she needed help and more importantly she realised she needed it too. Of course the first step was the medication, which did seem to work with the depression but not so much for the anxiety side of things. She eventually took part in counselling on a weekly basis, where she would open up and express her feelings, something which at times she struggled to do with myself due to my lack of understanding and knowledge. Plus I had a habit of talking too much and trying to retune her thoughts rather than listening.

 

The counselling worked wonders for her. The ability for her to discuss her thoughts without anyone judging really helped clear her mind and gave her methods to prevent her panic attacks. After one such session I spoke to the counsellor to seek advice on how I should act (sounds stupid now) and one thing that will always stick with me is the discussion of logic. He effectively said I needed to stop trying to think logically about the things she was saying, as the way my misses mind was working through a panic attack was not logical. I should sit and listen but don't force her to speak and I should not put words into her mouth.

 

Do you know what, the counselling, the advice I received and the medication has worked wonders and I have to thank the NHS for that. A year later and she no longer attends counselling nor does she take medication. The anxiety will always be there but between us we know how to cope and deal with such events.

 

Reading threads like this makes me proud to know that people are out there discussing their emotions and feelings without being judged.

 

Sorry for such a long ramble. It's so long I am not going to even proof read it.

 

It's wonderful to read that mate - thanks for sharing 

I'm always heartened when I hear of other counselling success stories, as I'm a huge advocate having been through it myself.

Over the last few years I've become friends with a few physiotherapists and they're genuinely lovely people. I'm always amazed how many of them do it for the joy of helping others rather than the money. They actually don't earn that much in the grand scheme of things and have often suffered from depression, abuse or addiction themselves and it's their way of 'giving back'. 

I'm so pleased your wife is better now and you've worked out some coping strategies between you. All the best!

[benn]

the anti depression

 

the biological music

 

[Strokes]

23 hours ago, Buce said:

 

Have you considered using a sleeping mask? Earplugs?

Or order a gas key off the internet and turn the street light off.

[Maboimahrez]

havent posted on here in a while. Been focusing on exams but have tried to keep up with the topic.

First thing I would like to do is wish the best to those who have posted and hope they can continue to improve.

 

for myself personally, exams were difficult, felt that life would improve after but still feel the same way and matters at uni havent helped. Going to the uni doctors tomorrow to see what they can offer. Hopefully I can get some good news but as another poster said in these times you only really see the worst possible scenario.

 

One of the toughest things to face is when people say uni are the best years of your life. Now this year has been hell and undergrad wasnt exactly heaven on earth either. The thought of this getting worse further down the line terrifies me.(one of the reasons im going tomorrow)

Edited 26 January 2017 by Maboimahrez

[Izzy]

18 minutes ago, Maboimahrez said:

havent posted on here in a while. Been focusing on exams but have tried to keep up with the topic.

First thing I would like to do is wish the best to those who have posted and hope they can continue to improve.

 

for myself personally, exams were difficult, felt that life would improve after but still feel the same way and matters at uni havent helped. Going to the uni doctors tomorrow to see what they can offer. Hopefully I can get some good news but as another poster said in these times you only really see the worst possible scenario.

 

One of the toughest things to face is when people say uni are the best years of your life. Now this year has been hell and undergrad wasnt exactly heaven on earth either. The thought of this getting worse further down the line terrifies me.(one of the reasons im going tomorrow)

Your last sentence there mate. It's the 'thought' of this getting worse further down the line that terrifies you.

 

I'm really trying hard to explain this whole thinking thing on this thread, but maybe I'm not explaining it very well 

Our thoughts are not our reality - they're just thoughts. It doesn't mean they will happen or come true. I see so many people getting stressed, anxious and ultimately depressed because they believe their thinking to be real - and it isn't. 

 

Here's an example of a couple of 'thoughts' I had today that just appeared out of nowhere...

 

1. I don't spend enough time with my wife or pay her enough attention, so maybe she's seeing someone else or even considering leaving me!

 

2. I've recently lost two major clients and if I don't get some new business soon, I won't be able to pay the bills and we'll have to sell the house and move in with my parents!

 

Will either of these things 'really' happen though? Highly unlikely I'd suggest. But I still had the thoughts. 

 

Did I spend hours stewing on these thoughts, catastrophising, and believing they'll come true? Absolutely not. I acknowledged them, recognised I need to make some changes, and then thought about what I need to do differently.

 

I 'could' choose to keep thinking about them and get terrified by both prospects, but I know that won't serve me well or help address my issues. Instead I'll choose to think about what's working well in my marriage and business but also what improvements I need to make in both. I'll use these thoughts as a kick up the arse rather than believing they're a prediction of what my future holds. 

 

So notice your thoughts, but you don't always need to trust them. A new and more empowering thought will always come along and those are the ones to pay conscious attention to.

 

Good luck with the Uni doctor tomorrow and let us know what how it goes. All the best...

 

 

 

[Maboimahrez]

7 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Your last sentence there mate. It's the 'thought' of this getting worse further down the line that terrifies you.

 

I'm really trying hard to explain this whole thinking thing on this thread, but maybe I'm not explaining it very well 

Our thoughts are not our reality - they're just thoughts. It doesn't mean they will happen or come true. I see so many people getting stressed, anxious and ultimately depressed because they believe their thinking to be real - and it isn't. 

 

Here's an example of a couple of 'thoughts' I had today that just appeared out of nowhere...

 

1. I don't spend enough time with my wife or pay her enough attention, so maybe she's seeing someone else or even considering leaving me!

 

2. I've recently lost two major clients and if I don't get some new business soon, I won't be able to pay the bills and we'll have to sell the house and move in with my parents!

 

Will either of these things 'really' happen though? Highly unlikely I'd suggest. But I still had the thoughts. 

 

Did I spend hours stewing on these thoughts, catastrophising, and believing they'll come true? Absolutely not. I acknowledged them, recognised I need to make some changes, and then thought about what I need to do differently.

 

I 'could' choose to keep thinking about them and get terrified by both prospects, but I know that won't serve me well or help address my issues. Instead I'll choose to think about what's working well in my marriage and business but also what improvements I need to make in both. I'll use these thoughts as a kick up the arse rather than believing they're a prediction of what my future holds. 

 

So notice your thoughts, but you don't always need to trust them. A new and more empowering thought will always come along and those are the ones to pay conscious attention to.

 

Good luck with the Uni doctor tomorrow and let us know what how it goes. All the best...

 

 

 

I get what you are trying to say and I really appreciate you taking the time to help me but I just can't seem to get rid of these thoughts. Its incredibly annoying where I could be happy for the majority of a day then BANG these thoughts will start rushing back into my mind, and a day where I have been happy turns bad. 

 

Here I am right now in my uni room, all on my own and whats crazy is I want to relax with my uni housemates but at the same time that seems like something I really dont want to do. This makes no sense I know, which is kind of the point im trying to make. I dont want to be depressed but being on my own, in this room, watching youtube videos and drinking alcohol seems like the best scenario for everyone.

 

[Izzy]

3 hours ago, Maboimahrez said:

I get what you are trying to say and I really appreciate you taking the time to help me but I just can't seem to get rid of these thoughts. Its incredibly annoying where I could be happy for the majority of a day then BANG these thoughts will start rushing back into my mind, and a day where I have been happy turns bad. 

 

Here I am right now in my uni room, all on my own and whats crazy is I want to relax with my uni housemates but at the same time that seems like something I really dont want to do. This makes no sense I know, which is kind of the point im trying to make. I dont want to be depressed but being on my own, in this room, watching youtube videos and drinking alcohol seems like the best scenario for everyone.

 

Mate it's tough I know. When you notice the thoughts start rushing back into your mind, remember that they're only thoughts and you don't have to believe them or pay concious attention to them. What happens is we can start to 'think about our thinking' and spiral into a good day becoming a bad day. 

The reality is that EVERYONE has some bad thoughts EVERYDAY but it's what we do with them that counts.

Someone once told me "we have 40,000 thoughts a day that come in through the front door of our mind and then leave out the back. We decide which ones we invite to stay for dinner!"

If we shine a light on the bad thoughts it's like a tea bag stewing in hot water. The thoughts become stronger and appear more real so we have to dismiss them early and not pay conscious attention to them. It takes practice but a new empowering thought will always come along. 

And if these thoughts just won't go away, change your environment and do something to distract you from them. It's not easy and I totally understand, but the first thing is to notice the pattern and basically tell those thoughts to fvck off!

Sorry, I'm rambling now. It's 3.38am and my Chrones disease is playing up so I'm on the bog every half hour 

Go easy on yourself mate. 

 

[Maboimahrez]

5 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Mate it's tough I know. When you notice the thoughts start rushing back into your mind, remember that they're only thoughts and you don't have to believe them or pay concious attention to them. What happens is we can start to 'think about our thinking' and spiral into a good day becoming a bad day. 

The reality is that EVERYONE has some bad thoughts EVERYDAY but it's what we do with them that counts.

Someone once told me "we have 40,000 thoughts a day that come in through the front door of our mind and then leave out the back. We decide which ones we invite to stay for dinner!"

If we shine a light on the bad thoughts it's like a tea bag stewing in hot water. The thoughts become stronger and appear more real so we have to dismiss them early and not pay conscious attention to them. It takes practice but a new empowering thought will always come along. 

And if these thoughts just won't go away, change your environment and do something to distract you from them. It's not easy and I totally understand, but the first thing is to notice the pattern and basically tell those thoughts to fvck off!

Sorry, I'm rambling now. It's 3.38am and my Chrones disease is playing up so I'm on the bog every half hour 

Go easy on yourself mate. 

 

Never feel like you are rambling on! The fact that you put more than what you think is enough shows how much of a caring and considerate person you are. I think its amazing that even at 4am in the morning you are willing to help me, a complete stranger, out. In my sea of misery, to wake up to this brought a nice smile to me and I thank you for that

[Guest]

9 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Your last sentence there mate. It's the 'thought' of this getting worse further down the line that terrifies you.

 

I'm really trying hard to explain this whole thinking thing on this thread, but maybe I'm not explaining it very well 

Our thoughts are not our reality - they're just thoughts. It doesn't mean they will happen or come true. I see so many people getting stressed, anxious and ultimately depressed because they believe their thinking to be real - and it isn't. 

 

Here's an example of a couple of 'thoughts' I had today that just appeared out of nowhere...

 

1. I don't spend enough time with my wife or pay her enough attention, so maybe she's seeing someone else or even considering leaving me!

 

2. I've recently lost two major clients and if I don't get some new business soon, I won't be able to pay the bills and we'll have to sell the house and move in with my parents!

 

Will either of these things 'really' happen though? Highly unlikely I'd suggest. But I still had the thoughts. 

 

Did I spend hours stewing on these thoughts, catastrophising, and believing they'll come true? Absolutely not. I acknowledged them, recognised I need to make some changes, and then thought about what I need to do differently.

 

I 'could' choose to keep thinking about them and get terrified by both prospects, but I know that won't serve me well or help address my issues. Instead I'll choose to think about what's working well in my marriage and business but also what improvements I need to make in both. I'll use these thoughts as a kick up the arse rather than believing they're a prediction of what my future holds. 

 

So notice your thoughts, but you don't always need to trust them. A new and more empowering thought will always come along and those are the ones to pay conscious attention to.

 

Good luck with the Uni doctor tomorrow and let us know what how it goes. All the best...

 

 

 

I think I get what you're saying. It's almost as if you need to view your thoughts in the third person, disconnect from them just enough that you can consider them, without the thoughts having control over you. Which is probably why they recommend writing your feelings down on a piece of paper - put them to one side physically and you'll be better able to do so internally as well.

 

I noticed this the other day when I was out shopping. I was letting myself get anxious over a speech and a job interview coming up and I was dwelling on all the negative outcomes that 'might' happen. And I just ended telling myself I can be sad and depressed if and when it happens, but until then I'll be positive...or at least neutral in my outlook.

 

It's a funny thing how the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of yourself are all intertwined. I think sometimes they get a bit knotted up. 

[Izzy]

54 minutes ago, winchesterton said:

I think I get what you're saying. It's almost as if you need to view your thoughts in the third person, disconnect from them just enough that you can consider them, without the thoughts having control over you. Which is probably why they recommend writing your feelings down on a piece of paper - put them to one side physically and you'll be better able to do so internally as well.

 

I noticed this the other day when I was out shopping. I was letting myself get anxious over a speech and a job interview coming up and I was dwelling on all the negative outcomes that 'might' happen. And I just ended telling myself I can be sad and depressed if and when it happens, but until then I'll be positive...or at least neutral in my outlook.

 

It's a funny thing how the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of yourself are all intertwined. I think sometimes they get a bit knotted up. 

 

Mate, I can't tell you how chuffed I am that you understand what I've been banging on about! 

 

It took me attending a few seminars and reading a few books before I really 'go it'.

 

And here's the thing that really blew me away - the understanding that they're not actually our thoughts in the first place   

 

Practitioners in the area of the 3 principles on Mind, Thought & Consciousness suggest that thought comes form a higher universal mind, and we're just the vehicle/conduit for them to flow through. If we can almost 'disown' them (or view them in the third person as you say) we don't have to dwell on the negative outcomes that 'might' happen - because they're just a thought.

 

Who knows where thought really comes from anyway? We've got absolutely no control over what randomly comes into our heads but we can recognise it, acknowledge it, and then choose how we respond. We don't have to be a slave to our thinking but so many people are, and it causes them to suffer when they really don't need to.

 

As humans we are responsible beings (response-able) and we always have a choice. Once we recognise this, we are truly free and liberated to navigate our way through life without fear and worry.

 

Apologies if I'm coming across as 'preaching' here, and it's just my opinion and that of many others that look in this direction of human psychology. All I know is that this understanding has changed by life immeasurably and I'd love others to benefit from it too 

 

[Maboimahrez]

Update: been to the doctors who gave me some beta blockers to help with the anxiety. Also booked a counselling session for next weds with the uni. Hopefully(without the pessimist in me taking over) speaking to someone for a long period of time can help 

[Crinklyfox]

Uni can be stressful, my experience was there was a lot of work to do, a lot of knowledge to assimilate and too little time to do it effectively (for my limited intellect anyway).  I had some issues, my friends had issues, and people we knew had issues.  I found that having a good support network of friends helped, we all pulled each other through the bad times.  Isolation wouldn't have been good.

 

Stress can cause any of us to fixate on problems which can result in sleep loss.  It becomes a problem when the sleep loss is repeated, which isn't unusual as sleep is a habit.  I've suffered from periodic problems with sleeping which were not helped by international travel which I did during my working life.  I got some sleeping pills prescribed by my GP but rarely took them, however the knowledge that I had them and that if the worst came to the worst and it looked like I was going to lose a nights sleep I could take one and knock myself out reduced the stress levels considerably and helped me to relax and sleep.  Just a thought.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Maboimahrez said:

Update: been to the doctors who gave me some beta blockers to help with the anxiety. Also booked a counselling session for next weds with the uni. Hopefully(without the pessimist in me taking over) speaking to someone for a long period of time can help 

I did beta blockers at one point. Don't remember having any negative side-affects. I used them mostly for public speaking and I think they worked fairly well. Though I think I ended up replacing that form of treatment with acupuncture and chinese medicine.

[Izzy]

3 hours ago, Maboimahrez said:

Update: been to the doctors who gave me some beta blockers to help with the anxiety. Also booked a counselling session for next weds with the uni. Hopefully(without the pessimist in me taking over) speaking to someone for a long period of time can help 

Great news mate, well chuffed for you 

 

And remember, you don't have to let the pessimist in you take over! You may get some pessimistic thoughts about the process but that doesn't mean they're real or true, so don't pay them any conscious attention to them and just let them pass.

 

I hope you'll also get some optimistic thoughts about it too. Those thoughts that say "I'm making progress, I'm taking positive action, I'm on the right track, I'm taking back control etc, etc". They're the thoughts you want to shine a light on instead, and just notice how much better you'll feel then.

 

Good luck buddy and keep us posted on how you get on. 

[Maboimahrez]

3 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Great news mate, well chuffed for you 

 

And remember, you don't have to let the pessimist in you take over! You may get some pessimistic thoughts about the process but that doesn't mean they're real or true, so don't pay them any conscious attention to them and just let them pass.

 

I hope you'll also get some optimistic thoughts about it too. Those thoughts that say "I'm making progress, I'm taking positive action, I'm on the right track, I'm taking back control etc, etc". They're the thoughts you want to shine a light on instead, and just notice how much better you'll feel then.

 

Good luck buddy and keep us posted on how you get on. 

Thank you once again!

 

Spoke to my friend at uni(not about depression, about the stress) and he gave some very simple but great advice.

He goes that the worst thing that will happen is you fail. So what if you do. In 2yrs no one is going to remember you did this course and you will have a job. Whateve happens this year, Its not the end of the world

 

for me, this was some great advice. I shouldnt let one year dictate the rest of my life. Feeling somewhat positive right now, but dont know if thats the beta blockers talking

[Izzy]

6 minutes ago, Maboimahrez said:

Thank you once again!

 

Spoke to my friend at uni(not about depression, about the stress) and he gave some very simple but great advice.

He goes that the worst thing that will happen is you fail. So what if you do. In 2yrs no one is going to remember you did this course and you will have a job. Whateve happens this year, Its not the end of the world

 

for me, this was some great advice. I shouldnt let one year dictate the rest of my life. Feeling somewhat positive right now, but dont know if thats the beta blockers talking

Your friend is very wise 

If you read up on pretty much any successful person in all walks of life, they've all been subjected to some sort of 'failure' in their lives. Some have even 'failed' many, many times over, but this hasn't deterred them from achieving their dreams and goals. Some would even go as far as to say that failure was vital, as that's when we learn the most about ourselves. It's how we bounce back from it that defines us I think. Learning the skills of resilience, determination and adaptability will serve us well in any profession or job and are highly sought after attributes. 

So your friend is right. It's all part of life's rich pattern and roller coaster of ups and downs. I still swear the reason Leicester winning the PL felt so very special is that we'd 'failed' so many times previously. You've got to experience the lows to really appreciate the highs etc.

Its great that you're feeling somewhat positive now, and notice what thoughts you've had that preceded those positive feelings.

It's onwards and upwards from now mate!

[stripeyfox]

The advice you've given in the last few postst @Izzy Muzzett has been brilliant. Whilst I'm not sure if I fall fully in the category of being "officially" depressed, what you've said has really helped.

 

Thanks mate.

 

This thread is incredible. Foxes Talk finest hour!