Depression

[CKB]

On 16/02/2017 at 13:36, Maboimahrez said:

Just been prescribed some citalopram. Anyone had any experiences with this?

Gave me crazy dreams and made me feel sick. I think I had to stop them, I've been on so many tablets tho I maybe getting them mixed up

 

All tabs will effect people in different ways though, you will get 50 people who say they worked wonders and 50 who say they were shit and made them feel like shit. It's rubbish but that's unfortunately how it goes

 

It's whether you wanna continue to be a guinea pig and take other tablets and risk similar or worse side effects. I decided after my last batch of tablets (which made me feel absolutely awful) I didn't wanna be a guinea pig anymore and my team are now looking at what's best for me long term

[urban.spaceman]

2 hours ago, CKB said:

How you feeling now? are you not on Sertraline full time? I'd assume they won't do a job if you are only taking them at certain times. You really should take them daily if you wanna feel any benefit short term

 

God the list is long! I've been on so many I've actually lost count! They all seem to do a job for abit but then it's just like taking sweets. I've now been completely off tablets for nearly 2 months and don't feel any different. That showed me with what I already thought that the tablets I've had over the years were never gonna benefit me long term

Right now I'm much lower than last week but I had a great weekend out with my cousins which was a massive high so this low was inevitable when you add in other factors (lost/found car key, sprained ankle, sleep deprivation, impending car insurance renewal and relevant financial tribulations, immediate family issues etc). I've been on Sertraline for about a year but sadly it's been too inconsistent - had them for a month when I arrived in Cape Town, was off them for a couple of months, then was given 3 months worth which tided me over while I was travelling (though we won the Premier League during that time which gave me a more natural high so 3 months of tablets lasted for about 6 months); then came home last summer and for the last 8 months have been very on and off as I don't have a full time job and therefore no routine to speak of; the doc prescribed me 100mg just before Christmas and I'm still waiting for Boots to sort their shit out get some in. So I've been off them for about a week.

 

Meds work differently for everyone though and you're right that I should be taking them daily.

[urban.spaceman]

Quick update - went into Boots which I'd been putting off to avoid feeling like a tit, the bloke told me their text system is utterly useless and my drugs had actually arrived 2 weeks ago. Helpful. At least I've got them now and have a firm date for when to pick them up next so we'll see how I go. Now to try and remember my doctors surgery username and password to find it if I'd already organised a catch up with my GP  and if i've missed it or not. I'm such a mess it would be hilarious if it wasn't so depressing (lol)

 

[MPH]

22 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Quick update - went into Boots which I'd been putting off to avoid feeling like a tit, the bloke told me their text system is utterly useless and my drugs had actually arrived 2 weeks ago. Helpful. At least I've got them now and have a firm date for when to pick them up next so we'll see how I go. Now to try and remember my doctors surgery username and password to find it if I'd already organised a catch up with my GP  and if i've missed it or not. I'm such a mess it would be hilarious if it wasn't so depressing (lol)

 

 

 

When i had depression years ago i used to forget things all the time.... A few different factors involved. 1. chemical imbalance  affects short term memory.. 2.  i actually had way too many things in my mind. Constantly thinking about them  and so some of them would simply be forgotten. Used to forget so many other things that i spent half my life looking for things i lost that it would all make me feel so crap so i'd just want to do things that didnt make me feel so crap - tv,, pc.. anythjing. another way for the important things to be out of mind.. 3. medication. 

[CKB]

On 20/02/2017 at 13:49, urban.spaceman said:

Right now I'm much lower than last week but I had a great weekend out with my cousins which was a massive high so this low was inevitable when you add in other factors (lost/found car key, sprained ankle, sleep deprivation, impending car insurance renewal and relevant financial tribulations, immediate family issues etc). I've been on Sertraline for about a year but sadly it's been too inconsistent - had them for a month when I arrived in Cape Town, was off them for a couple of months, then was given 3 months worth which tided me over while I was travelling (though we won the Premier League during that time which gave me a more natural high so 3 months of tablets lasted for about 6 months); then came home last summer and for the last 8 months have been very on and off as I don't have a full time job and therefore no routine to speak of; the doc prescribed me 100mg just before Christmas and I'm still waiting for Boots to sort their shit out get some in. So I've been off them for about a week.

 

Meds work differently for everyone though and you're right that I should be taking them daily.

 

On 20/02/2017 at 14:57, urban.spaceman said:

Quick update - went into Boots which I'd been putting off to avoid feeling like a tit, the bloke told me their text system is utterly useless and my drugs had actually arrived 2 weeks ago. Helpful. At least I've got them now and have a firm date for when to pick them up next so we'll see how I go. Now to try and remember my doctors surgery username and password to find it if I'd already organised a catch up with my GP  and if i've missed it or not. I'm such a mess it would be hilarious if it wasn't so depressing (lol)

 

You should definitely keep taking them and regularly, they may really do you wonders short term. It takes roughly a month for meds (daily taken) to have any effect, so keep taking them!

 

Haha as @MPH said a lot of factors can make people with mental health issues become quite disorganised and our brains at times become quite forgetful

[Jon the Hat]

On 2/20/2017 at 00:47, Maboimahrez said:

 

Well to be perefectly honest ai took one friday morning and by friday evening I was throwing up and had a awful migraine. Been scared to take one over the weekend in case it happened again and with exams coming up I didnt want to risk getting worse.

 

terrible dilemma whther to carry it on(I believe it takes 3weeks to get used to it) or to leave it a while

Go back to your GP, they shouldn't make you throw up or get a migraine I dont think.  They gave me "brain zaps" for a few weeks, like a reset button / falling asleep for a split second. Fine for the following 4 years though!

[Guest]

It's funny how it can crop up out of nowhere. Was in a pretty good place recently; felt a bit of anxiety stirring up over employment concerns the last couple of weeks, but had reasoned with myself to keep my head on straight. Was all set to have a great day today and use it to it's full - both for getting things done and having some fun - but woke up in a bad way (mentally/emotionally) and haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I have plans with friends later this evening; hoping if I lie in for a few more hours this episode will pass. We'll see...

 

[Izzy]

11 hours ago, winchesterton said:

It's funny how it can crop up out of nowhere. Was in a pretty good place recently; felt a bit of anxiety stirring up over employment concerns the last couple of weeks, but had reasoned with myself to keep my head on straight. Was all set to have a great day today and use it to it's full - both for getting things done and having some fun - but woke up in a bad way (mentally/emotionally) and haven't even gotten out of bed yet. I have plans with friends later this evening; hoping if I lie in for a few more hours this episode will pass. We'll see...

 

Yep, these 'episodes' can appear out of the blue and send us into a bad place.

My guess is that your bit of anxiety and waking up in a bad way was driven by your thought process at that time. Concerns over your employment is classic "what if?" thinking that can make us worried and anxious about what 'might' happen.

If we can recognise that these thoughts are not real and that we don't have to believe them to be true, it allows us to move on without 'catastrophising' and making ourselves feel shit.

And it will pass, as it always does. I hope your evening went well and you choose to latch on to those positive and empowering thoughts instead that will inevitably appear again. 

We are living in the feeling of our thinking - 100% of the time...

[Izzy]

So here's a funny thing.

 

I thought about killing myself today, and I haven't had 'that' thought for a long, long time.

 

I was tired and stressed at the time. My mood was low, and I was driving my car down the M40 when I realised I didn't have my seat belt on. For a split second I thought about driving straight into the central reservation at 90 mph and ending it all. Ending the pain and suffering I'm currently going through with my illness, and going to a place where I would be at peace instead.

 

But of course I didn't do that and I slowed down instead, put my seat belt on, and then laughed at the idea.

 

Does this mean I'm suicidal? - No.

Does this mean I'm depressed? - No.

Was it just a random thought that appeared out of nowhere? Yes.

Did I give that thought any more conscious energy and believe it to be true? No.

 

It was just a thought, and one of about 40,000 thoughts that I have every day. 

 

We don't have to trust our thoughts, and we don't have to act on them. We just need to notice them for what they are - just thoughts.

 

And then I got home to my wonderful wife and kids and realised how lucky and grateful I am. I then had positive and empowering thoughts about how fortunate I am in life, and I decided to pay those thoughts my conscious attention, and in the process I felt alive, happy, motivated and well.

 

We always have the choice. And I choose to focus my attention on the positive thoughts I have because they make me feel better. Focusing my attention on my negative thinking makes me feel shit, and I won't live my life like that any longer.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited 23 February 2017 by Izzy Muzzett

[Rincewind]

I have had the same thoughts. When I have crossed a road and thought I could easily step out in front of a bus. Then I think No First it would make a mess. The bus driver could be traumatised and it would upset my family. Also I may not see City lift the Champions League Trophy.As said above focus on the good things and the bad things will not seem that bad.

 

I have a friend who has suffered depression all his life. He even told me that when he was eight years old, he was taking a bath when his mother stopped him when he laid beneath the water. He gets by by helping out Wishes4kids, a charity that raises money for terminally ill children. He then forgets about his troubles.

Recently he was accessed fit for work and took off ESA and put on JSA. Now he stresses about the money he has to live on and how he is going to pay his bills and whether he will be evicted from his flat if he falls behind with payments. He is approaching 50 and not had a job for a few years. So with no training in jobs  it is unlikely he will find work soon. 

Last week he went to see his doctor before signing on and was sent home. He has appealed so is waiting for a date. He does have other issues alongside depression of which I am not sure of.

He is also a City fan so this season results have not helped. He has plenty of friends to turn to though.

 

As the song goes, 'Always look on the bright side of life.'

[Guest]

10 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Yep, these 'episodes' can appear out of the blue and send us into a bad place.

My guess is that your bit of anxiety and waking up in a bad way was driven by your thought process at that time. Concerns over your employment is classic "what if?" thinking that can make us worried and anxious about what 'might' happen.

If we can recognise that these thoughts are not real and that we don't have to believe them to be true, it allows us to move on without 'catastrophising' and making ourselves feel shit.

And it will pass, as it always does. I hope your evening went well and you choose to latch on to those positive and empowering thoughts instead that will inevitably appear again. 

We are living in the feeling of our thinking - 100% of the time...

I remember in the film About a Boy, the depressed mother explains after her failed suicide attempt that she feels fine now - but can't promise she'll never feel that way again. I'm starting to realise how true that is - and with many things in life, not just depression. I feel great today, and have my To Do list all sorted and I'm ready to kick on with things. As of today I have no reason to think that I'll ever be depressed again...but I know I will, at some point; next week, next month - who knows.

 

Anyway, thanks for the kind thoughts - I went out and did some volunteer work with friends which always helps immensely as others have noted. Plus Vardy's goal  Ruddy Nora, after the last couple of months we've had I celebrated like we'd actually won the match! Good football results do help a lot too!

[Finnegan]

On 20/02/2017 at 00:47, Maboimahrez said:

 

Well to be perefectly honest ai took one friday morning and by friday evening I was throwing up and had a awful migraine. Been scared to take one over the weekend in case it happened again and with exams coming up I didnt want to risk getting worse.

 

terrible dilemma whther to carry it on(I believe it takes 3weeks to get used to it) or to leave it a while

 

I got rather bad nausea the first time I took ssri drugs. Citalopram that was.

 

Lasted couple days tops. Not an uncommon side effect.

[Wymsey]

Feeling it now, that's for sure..

[Lionator]

I've had such a good couple of weeks, exercising every day, sleeping 8/9 hours a night, eating properly and them bam today, it's hit me like a bus again. Feel sick and completely flat, thought it might be a bug to begin with but it's 100% anxiety. Oh well...

[Izzy]

4 hours ago, Lionator said:

I've had such a good couple of weeks, exercising every day, sleeping 8/9 hours a night, eating properly and them bam today, it's hit me like a bus again. Feel sick and completely flat, thought it might be a bug to begin with but it's 100% anxiety. Oh well...

I've boringly banged on about many times before on this thread (sorry), but my guess is that your anxiety stems from your thinking process.

 

I imagine it's hit you like a bus today because of some negative/crooked/catastrophic thinking or creating those what if? scenarios in your head.

 

But it will pass.

 

Allow those negative thoughts to pass through without stewing on them. The more you focus on them, the more real they become and the more anxious you'll get. I know it sounds simple, but notice when you have more positive and empowering thoughts and shine a light on them instead - you'll feel much better. And if we can also just allow ourselves to be grateful in any moment, there's no room for those negative thoughts to enter our head.

 

You've had a good couple of weeks and that's great to hear. Notice how sleep, eating well and exercise is working for you and helping to improve your mood - so keep it going. Today is just a blip, it's not the beautiful person you really are, and it definitely doesn't define you.

 

Keep strong mate 

 

  

[the fox]

On 23/02/2017 at 00:10, Izzy Muzzett said:

So here's a funny thing.

 

I thought about killing myself today, and I haven't had 'that' thought for a long, long time.

 

I was tired and stressed at the time. My mood was low, and I was driving my car down the M40 when I realised I didn't have my seat belt on. For a split second I thought about driving straight into the central reservation at 90 mph and ending it all. Ending the pain and suffering I'm currently going through with my illness, and going to a place where I would be at peace instead.

 

But of course I didn't do that and I slowed down instead, put my seat belt on, and then laughed at the idea.

 

Does this mean I'm suicidal? - No.

Does this mean I'm depressed? - No.

Was it just a random thought that appeared out of nowhere? Yes.

Did I give that thought any more conscious energy and believe it to be true? No.

 

It was just a thought, and one of about 40,000 thoughts that I have every day. 

 

We don't have to trust our thoughts, and we don't have to act on them. We just need to notice them for what they are - just thoughts.

 

And then I got home to my wonderful wife and kids and realised how lucky and grateful I am. I then had positive and empowering thoughts about how fortunate I am in life, and I decided to pay those thoughts my conscious attention, and in the process I felt alive, happy, motivated and well.

 

We always have the choice. And I choose to focus my attention on the positive thoughts I have because they make me feel better. Focusing my attention on my negative thinking makes me feel shit, and I won't live my life like that any longer.

 

 

 

 

 

Not even joking, i got mad reading those words. Came in here expecting you to have some encouraging things to say to people in need for support and you drop this bomb on us. Come on, man! You are better than this!

 

Those were my thoughts reading that line and you managed to make a comeback with a fantastic fashion, your words are really a treat for the sore eyes/minds. Great to have such an input

[Izzy]

11 minutes ago, the fox said:

Not even joking, i got mad reading those words. Came in here expecting you to have some encouraging things to say to people in need for support and you drop this bomb on us. Come on, man! You are better than this!

 

Those were my thoughts reading that line and you managed to make a comeback with a fantastic fashion, your words are really a treat for the sore eyes/minds. Great to have such an input

Cheers dude, really appreciate it mate 

 

But here's the thing...sometimes we have absolutely no control over what thoughts pop into our head!

 

It doesn't make us bad, crazy or even depressed if we have some strange/weird or bizarre thoughts - because they're just thoughts.

 

I just wanted to highlight that even though I had this crazy (but very rare) thought, it didn't mean I have to act on it or give it any conscious attention.

 

I think one of the reasons people suffer from anxiety and depression is that they have this similar thoughts and then keep thinking about it. They think about it long and hard until suddenly it becomes very real and they then start to worry and panic about what 'might' happen to them.

 

We have the choice to cut this off at source and stop it appearing real. The more we keep thinking about our thinking and play the 'What if?' game with ourselves, the more real things become.

 

I've learnt to laugh these thoughts off and just dismiss them for what they are. I just want people to realise that they don't have to be a slave to their thinking and that our thoughts are not always to be trusted - especially when we're tired and our mood is low.

 

And of course I could just be talking complete bollux!  

 

 

 

 

[the fox]

56 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Cheers dude, really appreciate it mate 

 

But here's the thing...sometimes we have absolutely no control over what thoughts pop into our head!

 

 

I think one of the reasons people suffer from anxiety and depression is that they have this similar thoughts and then keep thinking about it. 

 

I've learnt to laugh these thoughts off and just dismiss them for what they are. 

 

1-Get those thoughts sometimes (not killing my self of course?), but like you said, those are just thoughts

 

 

2- those are the things that bother me. Sometimes people can say inconsiderate things ( not necessarily directed at me) or be unpleasant human beings and you just think "what if I give them the work, just to rattle him, no big deal" but I let it go because I learned that no good will come from it but I remember those interactions from time to time and i start rethinking things " don't just be the nice guy"

 

I'm starting to just let it go because its not worth the time nor the effort. But sometimes it gets really hard to let it go when you are remembering it pretty much every week.

 

3- I enjoy a good laugh on my own expense ( I believe that in order to make playful fun of your friends you have to be able to take some jabs) but with time you start to feel numb and just become cranky because you are tired of the act. Sigh...things will get better, life is just ups and downs so,

you can't really appreciate a sweat orange without tasting a sour lemon

Edited 24 February 2017 by the fox

[Rincewind]

I have to confess that I have suffered a lot of bullying in my life. Not physically but being laughed at through the way I talk and walk among oyher things. But there have also been many people that have encouraged me to think positive about myself. One being my elder brother who has said he is proud of me for one, going on holiday by myself and my writing, something he would not  do.

Could explain partly why I stick up for the underdog as I know what it feels like. When people say things OI think, 'you must be very insecure to be like that, I feel sorry for you.' I think I am a better person for not responding. I know I have bad qualities but I focus on the better side of myself.

 

Watched a programme about Terry Pratchett which in it he was told at school he would never amount to anything. He said this made him angry. Look what he did.

Other people have been told the same thing and they hated themselves the rest of their lives. So whether it was a good thing to say to a child depends if there are others saying the opposite.

[urban.spaceman]

Had a tough couple of weeks but I will be living off last night for quite a while!!

[tom27111]

3 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

Had a tough couple of weeks but I will be living off last night for quite a while!!

 

Me too. Still staying at my mates house,  been keeping myself to myself for a couple of weeks, mainly staying in my room.

 

Was overjoyed last night, went for a couple of pints to celebrate, my first for a while, then cooked dinner for everyone at about midnight when my mate got back from work!

 

Amazing what football can do to you.

[urban.spaceman]

On 15/03/2017 at 10:58, tom27111 said:

 

Me too. Still staying at my mates house,  been keeping myself to myself for a couple of weeks, mainly staying in my room.

 

Was overjoyed last night, went for a couple of pints to celebrate, my first for a while, then cooked dinner for everyone at about midnight when my mate got back from work!

 

Amazing what football can do to you.

Haven't stopped smiling for 3 days. Everything tastes better, everything is 5X funnier, nothing can annoy me. 

 

I might be in perpetual agony with my back after standing for the whole match and literally busted a gut celebrating Morgan's goal but it was all totally worth it. 

 

It really is amazing what football can do for you. 

 

Glad to see you're doing well dude. 

[Man Of Faith]

Hi all, not posted on here for a while, thought I would see what affects the meds would have for while then report back. So been on Sertraline for 8 weeks now, its helped with my anxiety massively, feel calmer, not as on edge and tremors have almost stopped so its easier to get through a day, however still feel completely numb to so much, my self worth is still at an all time low aswell. I still feel the need to cut myself to punish myself for my mistakes and the flow of negative thoughts is almost unbearable. Doctor said couple wks ago thaf im on the right path but I dont know. Seeing him again nxt week. Also got therapy in 2 weeks, hopefully thaf might help

[Izzy]

10 minutes ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hi all, not posted on here for a while, thought I would see what affects the meds would have for while then report back. So been on Sertraline for 8 weeks now, its helped with my anxiety massively, feel calmer, not as on edge and tremors have almost stopped so its easier to get through a day, however still feel completely numb to so much, my self worth is still at an all time low aswell. I still feel the need to cut myself to punish myself for my mistakes and the flow of negative thoughts is almost unbearable. Doctor said couple wks ago thaf im on the right path but I dont know. Seeing him again nxt week. Also got therapy in 2 weeks, hopefully thaf might help

It's good to hear back from you mate, I'd been wondering how you were..

 

First of all I'm pleased for you that the meds are helping and it's easier to get through the day now - that's good to hear that.

 

In my experience, the whole happiness and relative success of our lives is built on our self worth and self esteem. It's kinda the base foundation that all of our feelings and emotions are built on. I'm guessing that maybe you've had upsetting and bad experiences in the past that have led to you feeling a lack of self worth and wanting to punish yourself? Until this is properly addressed and you ultimately deal with this, I'd suggest the meds are just a sticking plaster...

 

I really hope your therapy helps you deal with your demons and come to terms with the fact that you are a worthwhile and valued human being. Before I went through therapy I was carrying tremendous guilt for my mistakes of the past, but the process helped me realise that it wasn't all my fault at all. I ended up forgiving those who'd hurt me, but more importantly I forgave myself. 

 

Our mistakes are in the past, and the past is not a destination. We can't change our past, but we can learn from it. I'm sure there is still an exciting and hopeful chapter of your life to come, so please keep the faith that things will improve and that you'll ultimately find peace of mind and fulfillment. 

 

I feel for you with the flow of negative thinking. I've banged on about this many times before but you don't have to trust your thoughts or believe them to be your reality - they're only thoughts. I'm sure that there are times in the day when you DO have positive thoughts, and these are the ones to pay attention to instead.

 

I really do wish you well and keep us all updated on how you get on with your GP and therapy.

 

The very best of luck to you  

[Karljohn]

I take Citalopram 10mg for Anxiety. They have helped me hugely and I've had no side effects other than the first few days feeling a little sick. City winning has helped too!