Depression

[Man Of Faith]

1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Just goes to show how important it is for all of us to feel loved and supported by others when we're suffering.

 

It's one of our most basic human needs and has been for thousands of years. It'll never change and we're all preprogrammed to need love and connection in our life.

 

The mental strain of 'putting on a good front' was hard work for me. It was only when I eventually accepted I was struggling and told everyone else, that the burden was lifted and I felt free again.

 

As others have said on here, it's amazing how supportive and non judgemental people are when we truly open up to them. No one deserves to feel lonely in life and those that really care about you will always have time for you. 

 

The Beatles had it right really. "All you need is love, love. Love is all you need" x

Thank you for all the kind words. I really appreciate it x

[tom27111]

17 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

 cheers Tom, appreciate it mate 

How you dong btw? I see you're posting quite a bit in the Leicester section of the forum and seem to have your mojo back!

 

Not bad thanks, things looking up.

 

Pleased I took a lot of advice and took time to get things sorted.

 

My only serious episodes seem to come around ten to five on a Saturday afternoon now 

[Crinklyfox]

21 hours ago, Lionator said:

After two more nights of no sleep due to anxiety, at 5am I decided to bite the bullet and try Zopiclone that the doc has prescribed me the week before. I was gone like a light after it'd kicked in and already today after 4/5 hours of good sleep I feel a lot more in control. The next challenge will be not taking Zopiclone again but at least I have the reassurance that no matter how bad it gets, there's things out there that work.

A couple of points.

 

I also have Zopiclone which I've taken occasionally as well as other hypnotics.  I found it to be quite powerful compared to some of the others and suffered tiredness for much of the next day after taking it for the first time.  I found a solution to that problem though, I cut the tablet in half as an experiment and found that half a tablet still got me to sleep without the prolonged side effects.  

 

The other point is that I don't recommend that you leave it until 5am to take the tablet; I've found over the years that if I'm not asleep a couple of hours after going to bed my stress levels go up which then keeps me awake for the rest of the night so I take the tablet then which ensures I wake up at a more reasonable hour.

 

Sleep is a habit, our bodies generate a natural sleep-inducing substance called melatonin which makes us feel tired and sleep and it does so at roughly the same time every day.  It's also available as a synthetic drug, it used to be banned in the UK but may be available now, I bought it across the counter in the USA.  I used to do a bit of international travel as came across it as I was told that pilots used it to regulate their body clocks when going to different time zones.  For example, I used to find travel to the Middle East particularly hard in terms of adjusting my sleep cycle.  I was generally landing in a country three hours ahead of GMT with a culture of rising and sleeping with the sun.  So when everyone was sound asleep at 10pm for me it was 7pm and I wasn't sleepy.  Then they'd be starting work at 7am which for me was 4am when I wanted to be asleep.  The solution was to take a melatonin tablet half an hour before I wanted to sleep and then fall asleep naturally, I would then also wake naturally about 6 hours later with an adjusted body clock.  I didn't need to do the same again the next night, in fact my golden rule was not to do so as I felt that my body was producing less melatonin in response to the extra provided by the tablet and I wanted to get back to normal as soon as possible.  You may find it useful in sleep regulation.

[Izzy]

Mental health charities are calling it Time to Talk Day on Thursday, in a bid to get people across England talking about mental health problems and help break the stigma. 

 

Here's a link to an interesting article about this on the BBC website today 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38814377

 

 

[the fox]

It is a shame that in this day and age people suffering from mental health issues are mocked for a thing that they have no control over. Most people think that mentally ill person= crazy, and that made a lot of people afraid of seeking help because they will be branded as such. I learned a thing or two in life and not judging a person before hearing his side of the story is one of them. You don't know what that person went through.

 

If any one suffering from a mental heath issue is reading this, go get some help. Don't be afraid of what the people gonna say because it is your life not theirs. Things like this are not gonna go away someday by them self. You go and make a change, all you need is your friends and family. There is no shame in suffering from an issue, as long as you try to work on it.

Don't let this social stigma stand between you and your happiness.

[foxy boxing]

sometimes a person is just suffering from depression and other times it might be more like having a mental illness which makes them depressed all the time and it is difficult to know the difference at times.being on your own it is difficult to know where to go or who to see for help.it is hard being lonely for example you don't have to be alone to be lonely you can be in a large crowd or surrounded by family and friends and still be lonely. you can have happy moments and feel good sometimes and have fun but underneath still feel sad and depressed. people will see you and just because you are smiling and laughing and surrounded by people you are fine and think something about you that just isn't true but underneath you still have that underling feeling of being alone and miserable. it is just a feeling inside you that most people can't understand or reason with and therefore cannot understand.

[the fox]

1 hour ago, foxy boxing said:

sometimes a person is just suffering from depression and other times it might be more like having a mental illness which makes them depressed all the time and it is difficult to know the difference at times.being on your own it is difficult to know where to go or who to see for help.it is hard being lonely for example you don't have to be alone to be lonely you can be in a large crowd or surrounded by family and friends and still be lonely. you can have happy moments and feel good sometimes and have fun but underneath still feel sad and depressed. people will see you and just because you are smiling and laughing and surrounded by people you are fine and think something about you that just isn't true but underneath you still have that underling feeling of being alone and miserable. it is just a feeling inside you that most people can't understand or reason with and therefore cannot understand.

This happened to me in real life. Some of my former class mates didn't know that my father died until after  about a year or so. And one of them told me that something is wrong with me because I didn't change much and kept the smiling and the childish behaviour. I told him two things, 1- I would rather smile than cry. And 2- I wouldn't bring my problems to a place like that to not effect people.

 

Like you said, smiling doesn't mean I am not sad,its just means that I don't like to bring other peoples morals down with me.

Smile, people. Nothing is worth wasting your time and life on. I don't mean that  you shouldn't be sad from time to time because that is normal but, don't let it consume your life.

Edited 2 February 2017 by the fox

[Man Of Faith]

3 hours ago, foxy boxing said:

sometimes a person is just suffering from depression and other times it might be more like having a mental illness which makes them depressed all the time and it is difficult to know the difference at times.being on your own it is difficult to know where to go or who to see for help.it is hard being lonely for example you don't have to be alone to be lonely you can be in a large crowd or surrounded by family and friends and still be lonely. you can have happy moments and feel good sometimes and have fun but underneath still feel sad and depressed. people will see you and just because you are smiling and laughing and surrounded by people you are fine and think something about you that just isn't true but underneath you still have that underling feeling of being alone and miserable. it is just a feeling inside you that most people can't understand or reason with and therefore cannot understand.

This is pretty much spot on to how I feel, Im incredibly lonely and everyday hurts so much, yet I have a wife a beautiful daughter and good friends and family. Trying to understand and work through this, is the hardest thing x

[Bobby Hundreds]

It's #TimetoTalk day today, please talk about your mental health problems, people are willing to listen. There is a wealth of support and information online, http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/ and https://www.rethink.org/ are a couple. Please talk to friends, family, GP or seek referral to Community Mental Health Team if you are suffering from mental health issues.

[CKB]

3 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

This is pretty much spot on to how I feel, Im incredibly lonely and everyday hurts so much, yet I have a wife a beautiful daughter and good friends and family. Trying to understand and work through this, is the hardest thing x

I've been at odds with myself for years, when them demons grab a hold they just completely change me. I know what you are going through mate, it's a hard long road but keep battling on!

[CKB]

6 hours ago, foxy boxing said:

sometimes a person is just suffering from depression and other times it might be more like having a mental illness which makes them depressed all the time and it is difficult to know the difference at times.being on your own it is difficult to know where to go or who to see for help.it is hard being lonely for example you don't have to be alone to be lonely you can be in a large crowd or surrounded by family and friends and still be lonely. you can have happy moments and feel good sometimes and have fun but underneath still feel sad and depressed. people will see you and just because you are smiling and laughing and surrounded by people you are fine and think something about you that just isn't true but underneath you still have that underling feeling of being alone and miserable. it is just a feeling inside you that most people can't understand or reason with and therefore cannot understand.

Indeed! I've had that on and off for over 16 years and while things can be utterly shit at times, I'm still battling on, still have goals and will keep trying to achieve as much as I mentally and physically can

 

I've kinda come to the realisation that I probably will never be fully right but if I can handle the bad days better and have more good days than bad then hell yeah I'll take that!

 

Edited 2 February 2017 by CKB

[CKB]

8 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Mental health charities are calling it Time to Talk Day on Thursday, in a bid to get people across England talking about mental health problems and help break the stigma. 

 

Here's a link to an interesting article about this on the BBC website today 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38814377

 

 

It still saddens me that stigma is still around and probably with certain sections of society will always be around, as certain people will just "not get it"

 

On the other hand though I've seen just how much mental health is being accepted more, so many more campaigns that highlight the severity of the illness. Unfortunately services via the government are still lacking and that needs to be rectified but with the NHS being at critical levels as it is who knows if the proper level of care will ever reach it's target?

[Lionator]

On 01/02/2017 at 13:28, Izzy Muzzett said:

Zopiclone is good gear aint it!

 

It's good to have the reassurance that you'e got it as a fall back if you ever need it. I found myself hooked on it and ended up having to wean myself off by cutting the tablets in half with a stanley knife and reducing the dosage - but they definitely did the job for me at the time  

 

I'm sorry your anxiety is keeping you up at night. It's the worst feeling not being able to sleep and your head spinning with stuff. I'm sure you've tried different strategies to 'switch off' but it's not easy I know.

 

It's amazing how sleep (or lack of) plays such a major role for us all on this thread. I guess if we can eventually master this and all get a proper nights kip, it's a huge step to feeling better and more like our old selves. I never realised the importance of sleep as a youth but now it's number 1 on my list of priorities as I know I can't function properly without it.

 

Good luck mate and keep us posted.

It's pretty strong ha!

 

Two nights on and I've had two relatively good nights sleep without any aids. It's clicked that getting worked up over sleep is causing the insomnia and once you can relax, sleeping is a simple process. I guess like all anxiety and depression it's about your thinking processes and how you interpret things. If you tell yourself you're gonna have a crap night sleep then it's more than likely you will, alternatively if you approach it without anxiety then you'll be fine. Fingers crossed I can keep this attitude up for the next few weeks with the uni stress running with it.   

[Maboimahrez]

Thought I was having a pretty positive week. Had an interview on weds which I thought went really well. Found out just now I got rejected. Its frustrating more than anything, especially putting so much effort into something, believing you did well, believing that this may finally be some good news and still not getting it. Really hurts

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

It's pretty strong ha!

 

Two nights on and I've had two relatively good nights sleep without any aids. It's clicked that getting worked up over sleep is causing the insomnia and once you can relax, sleeping is a simple process. I guess like all anxiety and depression it's about your thinking processes and how you interpret things. If you tell yourself you're gonna have a crap night sleep then it's more than likely you will, alternatively if you approach it without anxiety then you'll be fine. Fingers crossed I can keep this attitude up for the next few weeks with the uni stress running with it.   

Congrats mate - glad you've had a couple of nights decent kip 

 

I'm a big believer in life that what we focus on is what we get.

 

The crappest example I can give is from a golf psychology book I once read. I had a habit of standing on the tee thinking 'don't go out of bounds!' or 'don't put it in the water!' or 'don't hit it into that bunker!'....and of course 9/10 that's exactly what I'd do. The brain doesn't compute the word 'don't' apparently, e.g. 'don't think of a pink elephant!' (I know what you just did there )

 

So I started thinking 'hit it straight down the middle' instead, or I'd focus on a point on the fairway where I wanted to drive it. Now I'm not saying it works every time, but it's amazing the difference it made when I told myself what to do instead of what not to do. So in your case, 'I will relax' and 'sleep is a simple process' and I will have a good nights kip' etc, etc.

 

Keep up the positive mindset mate. The universe will conspire and 'the law of attraction' says that what we 'put out there' will manifest itself back to us.

 

I know some will read this and say it's all bollux, but it works for me  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Izzy]

3 hours ago, Maboimahrez said:

Thought I was having a pretty positive week. Had an interview on weds which I thought went really well. Found out just now I got rejected. Its frustrating more than anything, especially putting so much effort into something, believing you did well, believing that this may finally be some good news and still not getting it. Really hurts

I sympathise mate. I'm sure we've all been knocked back at an interview where we thought we did well during some stage of our career - I know I have more than once.

 

I guess we've got two choices in this situation:

 

1. Dwell on it, get pissed off, get angry, feel hard done to, want answers, feel confused, let down etc.

 

2. Accept that it's all part of life's rich pattern and for whatever reason, it wasn't to be this time. Acknowledge you did your best and that's the best you could have done, and feel O.K. with that. Decide it's their loss. Dust yourself down and come out fighting, even more determined next time.

 

So stay positive. It won't serve you well to get negative, so put it behind you and keep moving forward. Good things come to those who wait and patience is a virtue as they say.

 

Best of luck next time  

 

[Maboimahrez]

2 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I sympathise mate. I'm sure we've all been knocked back at an interview where we thought we did well during some stage of our career - I know I have more than once.

 

I guess we've got two choices in this situation:

 

1. Dwell on it, get pissed off, get angry, feel hard done to, want answers, feel confused, let down etc.

 

2. Accept that it's all part of life's rich pattern and for whatever reason, it wasn't to be this time. Acknowledge you did your best and that's the best you could have done, and feel O.K. with that. Decide it's their loss. Dust yourself down and come out fighting, even more determined next time.

 

So stay positive. It won't serve you well to get negative, so put it behind you and keep moving forward. Good things come to those who wait and patience is a virtue as they say.

 

Best of luck next time  

 

Feel so repetitive saying this everytime but thank you for the message!

 

its gonna be tough, especially the first few days but as I said the week started well so I know it can get better.

 

Its a difficult thing to accept, that you can try the best you can, always do right by people,be the best person you can and still have these things happen to do. The fact is, as im sure you'll agree is life isnt fair. Once I come to terms with this, accept that I will suffer further setbacks but still (hopefully) have positives the better. 

[Izzy]

8 minutes ago, Maboimahrez said:

Feel so repetitive saying this everytime but thank you for the message!

 

its gonna be tough, especially the first few days but as I said the week started well so I know it can get better.

 

Its a difficult thing to accept, that you can try the best you can, always do right by people,be the best person you can and still have these things happen to do. The fact is, as im sure you'll agree is life isnt fair. Once I come to terms with this, accept that I will suffer further setbacks but still (hopefully) have positives the better. 

I know I'm a bit of a twat for rolling out clichés, but one that stuck with me is "we can only control the controllables'. 

 

We can do our damnedest to do right by people and be the best person we can be, but what we can't control is how others will act and behave towards us in return.

 

Some people are just cvnts, life isn't fair sometimes, and we will all suffer setbacks. All we can do is act from a place of dignity, humility, integrity, purpose and honest values and if that's not enough, well at least we can walk away with our head held high.

 

Knowing that more setbacks will come but also knowing that positives will too, is all part of accepting lifes roller coaster of ups and downs I guess. I used to have a very high need for 'certainty' in life, but it crippled me and I couldn't cope when things didn't turn out the way I expected. As I've got older I've learnt to dance with the uncertainty of life and become comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

 

The more I force things the more I seem to push them away, so now I just relax and let life unfold the way it's designed to. I know this might sound a bit lazy or 'fatalistic', but when I get out of my own way and go with the flow more, that's when the good stuff appears.

 

Sounds weird I know, but hey, I'm a lot happier now 

 

 

 

[Wymsey]

Just now, Izzy Muzzett said:

I know I'm a bit of a twat for rolling out clichés, but one that stuck with me is "we can only control the controllables'. 

 

We can do our damnedest to do right by people and be the best person we can be, but what we can't control is how others will act and behave towards us in return.

 

Some people are just cvnts, life isn't fair sometimes, and we will all suffer setbacks. All we can do is act from a place of dignity, humility, integrity, purpose and honest values and if that's not enough, well at least we can walk away with our head held high.

 

Knowing that more setbacks will come but also knowing that positives will too, is all part of accepting lifes roller coaster of ups and downs I guess. I used to have a very high need for 'certainty' in life, but it crippled me and I couldn't cope when things didn't turn out the way I expected. As I've got older I've learnt to dance with the uncertainty of life and become comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

 

The more I force things the more I seem to push them away, so now I just relax and let life unfold the way it's designed to. I know this might sound a bit lazy or 'fatalistic', but when I get out of my own way and go with the flow more, that's when the good stuff appears.

 

Sounds weird I know, but hey, I'm a lot happier now 

 

 

 

Just caught up with the last 6/7 pages of this thread and what you say/your personal advice would be spot on according to any competent mental health professionals.

 

You should seriously think about being one, if it's achievable based on circumstances such as future plans, age, time etc.

You seem the type that would help others et al before self.

[Maboimahrez]

12 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I know I'm a bit of a twat for rolling out clichés, but one that stuck with me is "we can only control the controllables'. 

 

We can do our damnedest to do right by people and be the best person we can be, but what we can't control is how others will act and behave towards us in return.

 

Some people are just cvnts, life isn't fair sometimes, and we will all suffer setbacks. All we can do is act from a place of dignity, humility, integrity, purpose and honest values and if that's not enough, well at least we can walk away with our head held high.

 

Knowing that more setbacks will come but also knowing that positives will too, is all part of accepting lifes roller coaster of ups and downs I guess. I used to have a very high need for 'certainty' in life, but it crippled me and I couldn't cope when things didn't turn out the way I expected. As I've got older I've learnt to dance with the uncertainty of life and become comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

 

The more I force things the more I seem to push them away, so now I just relax and let life unfold the way it's designed to. I know this might sound a bit lazy or 'fatalistic', but when I get out of my own way and go with the flow more, that's when the good stuff appears.

 

Sounds weird I know, but hey, I'm a lot happier now 

 

 

 

Nothing lazy about. If you are happy, and have found a way of being happy, why change it!

Good on you mate, I hope I too, as well as othes of this forum, can reach this stage

[Maboimahrez]

8 minutes ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Just caught up with the last 6/7 pages of this thread and what you say/your personal advice would be spot on according to any competent mental health professionals.

 

You should seriously think about being one, if it's achievable based on circumstances such as future plans, age, time etc.

You seem the type that would help others et al before self.

Totally agree with this. I went to see the counsellor at my uni, and although it did help, I felt like she didnt fully understand what I was going through. Not her fault at all, as she has probably never gone thrugh it but It would have been much better/easier with someone who was in a similar position.

 

[Crinklyfox]

18 hours ago, Maboimahrez said:

Thought I was having a pretty positive week. Had an interview on weds which I thought went really well. Found out just now I got rejected. Its frustrating more than anything, especially putting so much effort into something, believing you did well, believing that this may finally be some good news and still not getting it. Really hurts

I can sympathise with your feelings, but most of us have had unsuccessful interviews in our time.  I've been on the receiving end of many but have also been in the position of interviewing for positions in my team at work.  In that capacity I've had to turn good people down, often because they simply weren't the most suitable candidate.  It didn't mean that I didn't like them or that they couldn't do the job, I would try to establish their general suitability from CV review pre-interview, it just meant that there was another candidate who was more suited to the role.  It may be helpful for you to consider that you weren't selected, rather than you were rejected.  The end result is the same but rejection is a strong word and may not be the most appropriate.

 

Some interviewers are better than others - if you get a bad one then they may not accurately determine your potential to successfully fill a role, there's not a lot you can do about this.  A good one, however, should be able to highlight strengths and weaknesses and be able to give you feedback on the interview if you so desire.

 

I've asked many questions in interviews but I'm listing the key three factors I try to establish through questioning for me below, hope this helps for the future:

 

1.  Can the interviewee do the job?  (Questions asked to support CV qualifications and experience)

2.  Will the interviewee love the job?  (An employee happy in their work will have a good influence and is likely to remain in post longer)

3.  Will the interviewee fit in?  (Interviewer tries to assess how well you get on with others, more difficult to prepare for as you don't know other people in the company)

[urban.spaceman]

Been very low the last week or so. Could barely get out of bed this morning - I'm not working much at the minute so there didn't seem like much point. Got dragged out for a walk around the Watermead though so felt a bit better. Then my sister tells me that her new fella can possibly get me a job at a factory; I've been trying to get into video editing for absolutely ages with no avail and with the bank account being eviscerated it's looking bleak, but I'm very wary of taking yet another job that I hate and getting trapped there again. Getting too old for this shit. So not sure what to do. The insomnia's back again so half the time I'm wide awake till 6am then utterly knackered the next day but unable to sleep. I had high hopes for 2017 but the first month is already gone and it's still very bleak. Can't seem to break this bad spell at the minute.

 

City's current predicament isn't helping things either!

 

[CKB]

6 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Been very low the last week or so. Could barely get out of bed this morning - I'm not working much at the minute so there didn't seem like much point. Got dragged out for a walk around the Watermead though so felt a bit better. Then my sister tells me that her new fella can possibly get me a job at a factory; I've been trying to get into video editing for absolutely ages with no avail and with the bank account being eviscerated it's looking bleak, but I'm very wary of taking yet another job that I hate and getting trapped there again. Getting too old for this shit. So not sure what to do. The insomnia's back again so half the time I'm wide awake till 6am then utterly knackered the next day but unable to sleep. I had high hopes for 2017 but the first month is already gone and it's still very bleak. Can't seem to break this bad spell at the minute.

 

City's current predicament isn't helping things either!

 

Mate you gotta do the best for yaself in terms of the job predicament you are in! Money issues or not you can't get trapped into something you feel will make you worse, i understand tho about money problems so it is a double edged sword and a crap predicament to be in

 

I'm currently going through a crap time aswell, more or less slept the past few days away which makes you feel even worse and now I'm wide awake! So all I've been doing is sleeping, eating at stupid times (when I've got an appetite as depression can completely kill my appetite) and watching tv/playing PS4 (if depression hasn't killed interest, if it has I don't do much at all)

 

It's not good especially when you have a missus, a son and life stuff to do, but you grind to a halt. Ahhhhh the joys of a fvcked up brain

 

I was generally having a decent'ish month but I guess it was time for them "mind demons" to fvck shit up again

Edited 7 February 2017 by CKB

[ozleicester]

2 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Been very low the last week or so. Could barely get out of bed this morning - I'm not working much at the minute so there didn't seem like much point. Got dragged out for a walk around the Watermead though so felt a bit better. Then my sister tells me that her new fella can possibly get me a job at a factory; I've been trying to get into video editing for absolutely ages with no avail and with the bank account being eviscerated it's looking bleak, but I'm very wary of taking yet another job that I hate and getting trapped there again. Getting too old for this shit. So not sure what to do. The insomnia's back again so half the time I'm wide awake till 6am then utterly knackered the next day but unable to sleep. I had high hopes for 2017 but the first month is already gone and it's still very bleak. Can't seem to break this bad spell at the minute.

 

City's current predicament isn't helping things either!

 

Sounds pretty sht, sorry to hear it. Dont measure yourself by the months and time, just work your way through things, let people help you and speak to professionals.

 

Its a journey and your reference about City is pretty important. 8 years ago we were in the 3rd division... 1 year ago, top of the premier league.... now flirting with relegation. Like LCFC life continues with highs and lows, but like supporting city... you just gotta stick with em, enjoy the highs and try to move forward from the lows.