Depression

[CKB]

On 30/12/2016 at 17:06, Lionator said:

I do Maths & Statistics.

 

Thanks all, you're great! I'll get there I'm sure but it really is like they say living under a dark cloud 24/7. Emotions are contrasting all the time too, wanting people to help but feeling guilty when they do then pushing people away yet wanting them close at the same time. It's all so tiring. 

Oh the 'wanting help but feeling a burden, pushing people away but wanting them close' old chestnut! It's a total head masher isn't it?

 

All I can say is try the best you can to want the help and keep them close as much as you can option

 

Just keep doing the best you can in all aspects of life, my god it's hard I know but just keep doing what you can do! I'd be a hypocrite to say ignore them demons, rise up, etc because at times them bastards well make you feel like you are the most pathetic person on the planet. But hey got news for you, you aren't!

 

All the best for 2017!

[Crinklyfox]

4 hours ago, CKB said:

Firstly thank you for this post, it has highlighted once again another issue I secretly tear myself up about and that is my Son. But it gives me hope once again with the things you said that I'm not alone and people actually have encountered and felt the same things! It's crazy how the brain makes you think you are the only person in this world with these issues/circumstances but you aren't though! 

 

I feel at times my Sons issues are my fault yes, I try and not think like that to much and usually I only do when I'm in the midst of a serious bout of depression, the type that you feel you have been consumed by some evil demon and you are now it fully (like some horror film). Oh and them times are the worse because I can be a total cvnt aswell as being all over the place mentally and physically, but yeah I'm sidetracking here

 

It is so soothing to hear that you can relate in that way with special needs and I am so happy you have a child that is doing as well as can be and is achieving goals everyday, that makes me positive when I hear them things

 

It's really been the best thing I could've done opening up like this, so many people have releted/said the most awesome things, but not just awesome, insightful, meaningful and very inspirational and I can't help but thank everyone once again from the bottom of my heart

The Foxestalk community is quite large so there's always a chance that someone will have had similar issues to yourself.  Please keep reading and posting.  I've also learned that the issues I've had are not mine alone.

 

On that subject you might consider starting a new thread on agoraphobia.  It's possible that there may be other posters who are either suffering from this or have previously suffered from it who may be able to help.  

 

I've never suffered from agoraphobia but have had another issue which affected my ability to travel.  I don't want to go into it in detail as there is such as thing as auto-suggestion and I wouldn't want to inflict this on anyone.  Suffice it to say that I suffered stress prior to travel and found that the easiest way to avoid this was simply not to travel.  The problem with that was my comfort zone contracted, so I became stressed at travelling for shorter and shorter distances.  The course of action that helped was that I started to travel to places at times when there was no pressure on me, in other words when I didn't need to do so for any reason.  This travel then became routine, and as the saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt.  I was no longer stressed about a regular event, which is the way non-sufferers feel about travel.  I don't know if this would work for your agoraphobia but thought it worth mentioning.

 

If you're interested in discussing special needs there are a number of posts in the 'Ashton's Journey' thread that you might find of interest.  My eldest is a young man now - when he was a young child my wife and I could only see an adult life in care for him but with the right support he exceeded all our expectations and now lives a largely independent life, having his own flat, car and job.  I hope that your son can also reach his capacity.

[tom27111]

Hi everyone. 

 

Not been on for a while, so thought I'd post an update...

 

Still at my mates, but had a fairly decent wedge of cash come through, so looking at places currently. Under no pressure to get out from where I am, but want the new start thing and all that.

 

Scouring the Web for cheapish flats, the world is my oyster I guess, can go wherever. Well, as long as it's in Britain!

 

Still have bad days, but friends have rallied around, without patronising, which has been brilliant. Rather like my anonymous online friends who have helped. (That's you lot, not some seedy internet thing)!

 

Sorry to hear others are suffering too and I'm flattered that some have been able to say something and attribute it to me.

 

Thanks all again. I really can't thank you enough for the encouragement and advice. There's some bloody good eggs on here.

 

I'll keep you posted 

[Izzy]

37 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Hi everyone. 

 

Not been on for a while, so thought I'd post an update...

 

Still at my mates, but had a fairly decent wedge of cash come through, so looking at places currently. Under no pressure to get out from where I am, but want the new start thing and all that.

 

Scouring the Web for cheapish flats, the world is my oyster I guess, can go wherever. Well, as long as it's in Britain!

 

Still have bad days, but friends have rallied around, without patronising, which has been brilliant. Rather like my anonymous online friends who have helped. (That's you lot, not some seedy internet thing)!

 

Sorry to hear others are suffering too and I'm flattered that some have been able to say something and attribute it to me.

 

Thanks all again. I really can't thank you enough for the encouragement and advice. There's some bloody good eggs on here.

 

I'll keep you posted 

It's really good to hear from you Tom.

Sounds like maybe the worst is now behind you and it's onwards and upwards from here - well let's hope so.

It's great that your friends have rallied around and I'm sure they'll be more than happy to continue supporting you until you find a place of your own.

Good luck with the flat hunting. A clean slate and a chance to start again. Exciting times and the world is indeed your oyster my friend.

Let us know how you get on.

All the best fella 

 

[Jon the Hat]

World is your oyster indeed, but might be worth staying near your mates who have supporting you recently.  

[tom27111]

1 hour ago, Jon the Hat said:

World is your oyster indeed, but might be worth staying near your mates who have supporting you recently.  

 

Thought exactly the same thing. There's a few reasons I don't want to stay exactly where they are, long story. 

 

But I'm trying to stay close. 

 

I said in one of my first few posts that I've not got that many mates.

 

My opinion on that has changed massively. 

 

And to others going through the same...You'll be amazed who cares if you're honest. 

 

Much like our football club, hitting rock bottom could be a blessing in disguise.

 

I've gone through the Craig Levein stage...I hope! 

[ozleicester]

11 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Hi everyone. 

 

Not been on for a while, so thought I'd post an update...

 

Still at my mates, but had a fairly decent wedge of cash come through, so looking at places currently. Under no pressure to get out from where I am, but want the new start thing and all that.

 

Scouring the Web for cheapish flats, the world is my oyster I guess, can go wherever. Well, as long as it's in Britain!

 

Still have bad days, but friends have rallied around, without patronising, which has been brilliant. Rather like my anonymous online friends who have helped. (That's you lot, not some seedy internet thing)!

 

Sorry to hear others are suffering too and I'm flattered that some have been able to say something and attribute it to me.

 

Thanks all again. I really can't thank you enough for the encouragement and advice. There's some bloody good eggs on here.

 

I'll keep you posted 

It seems to me having read Foxestalk for quite some time...... many of these are one and the same

 

Glad things are improving, keep fighting and keep talking.

 

Have a terrific 2017 

[Steven]

9 hours ago, tom27111 said:

 

Thought exactly the same thing. There's a few reasons I don't want to stay exactly where they are, long story. 

 

But I'm trying to stay close. 

 

I said in one of my first few posts that I've not got that many mates.

 

My opinion on that has changed massively. 

 

And to others going through the same...You'll be amazed who cares if you're honest. 

 

Much like our football club, hitting rock bottom could be a blessing in disguise.

 

I've gone through the Craig Levein stage...I hope! 

I wouldn't wish that on anyone. 

Edited 5 January 2017 by Steven

[stripeyfox]

Good to hear mate. Was only thinking on the way to work this morning "I wonder how Tom from Foxestalk is getting on?", so it's nice to hear a positive update.

 

Happy New Year buddy

 

[TiffToff88]

My partner is going through some serious depression issues at the moment, i find it hard trying to help her as i can't put myself in the same mindset as she is in.

 

A lot of her problems stem from the fact that she suffers from Kerataconus, a rare eye condition thats slowly sending her blind. She has to wear sunglasses to work (In a busy petrol station) and she has to deal with a lot of bullying (From customers, so there's nothing she can do about it). She suffered with depression before she even found out about the condition. It only made things worse. To top it off, a popular facebook group posted something about her today, likening her to Honey G. i'm dreading the phone call i'm going to get once she see's the post, as its on a page she follows.

 

Has anyone got any advice on how i can help her?

[foxfanazer]

43 minutes ago, TiffToff88 said:

My partner is going through some serious depression issues at the moment, i find it hard trying to help her as i can't put myself in the same mindset as she is in.

 

A lot of her problems stem from the fact that she suffers from Kerataconus, a rare eye condition thats slowly sending her blind. She has to wear sunglasses to work (In a busy petrol station) and she has to deal with a lot of bullying (From customers, so there's nothing she can do about it). She suffered with depression before she even found out about the condition. It only made things worse. To top it off, a popular facebook group posted something about her today, likening her to Honey G. i'm dreading the phone call i'm going to get once she see's the post, as its on a page she follows.

 

Has anyone got any advice on how i can help her?

Mate that's awful. I wish people could understand the damage words can do to people. Not got any advice on the depression side of things but you could report the post on Facebook and hopefully get it removed before sees it. 

 

Hope things get better pal

[foxfanazer]

10 hours ago, tom27111 said:

 

Thought exactly the same thing. There's a few reasons I don't want to stay exactly where they are, long story. 

 

But I'm trying to stay close. 

 

I said in one of my first few posts that I've not got that many mates.

 

My opinion on that has changed massively. 

 

And to others going through the same...You'll be amazed who cares if you're honest. 

 

Much like our football club, hitting rock bottom could be a blessing in disguise.

 

I've gone through the Craig Levein stage...I hope! 

Just wait for the Ranieri stage mate!

[stripeyfox]

3 hours ago, TiffToff88 said:

My partner is going through some serious depression issues at the moment, i find it hard trying to help her as i can't put myself in the same mindset as she is in.

 

A lot of her problems stem from the fact that she suffers from Kerataconus, a rare eye condition thats slowly sending her blind. She has to wear sunglasses to work (In a busy petrol station) and she has to deal with a lot of bullying (From customers, so there's nothing she can do about it). She suffered with depression before she even found out about the condition. It only made things worse. To top it off, a popular facebook group posted something about her today, likening her to Honey G. i'm dreading the phone call i'm going to get once she see's the post, as its on a page she follows.

 

Has anyone got any advice on how i can help her?

That's terrible mate. As part of a wider issue, this modern trend for mocking people on facebook etc is really sad. 

 

Does she have a sympathetic employer? Knowing how petrol station franchises work, people are pretty "expendable" but she shouldn't have to be subjected to bullying at work and her employer should help to prevent this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TiffToff88]

6 minutes ago, stripeyfox said:

That's terrible mate. As part of a wider issue, this modern trend for mocking people on facebook etc is really sad. 

 

Does she have a sympathetic employer? Knowing how petrol station franchises work, people are pretty "expendable" but she shouldn't have to be subjected to bullying at work and her employer should help to prevent this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No. They couldn't give a shit. She needs adjustments making at work, simple things, like toning down the brightness on the tills and they have taken over a year to even sort that out (still waiting)

 

As far as the customers bullying her, there's really not a lot they can do about it unfortunately, which she has accepted, but it doesn't make it any easier for her at all. It would be different if it was other staff members bullying her, but what can they do if 1 in 10 customers who come through the door take the piss? They can't exactly ban them all from the shop.

[stripeyfox]

2 hours ago, TiffToff88 said:

No. They couldn't give a shit. She needs adjustments making at work, simple things, like toning down the brightness on the tills and they have taken over a year to even sort that out (still waiting)

 

As far as the customers bullying her, there's really not a lot they can do about it unfortunately, which she has accepted, but it doesn't make it any easier for her at all. It would be different if it was other staff members bullying her, but what can they do if 1 in 10 customers who come through the door take the piss? They can't exactly ban them all from the shop.

That's not good mate. I've seen the facebook post you refer to - it is typical of the no brains bullying which goes on on these anonymous "Spotted" pages and the like. The only good thing is the people who have responded so far have been calling the post out for being mean/harsh etc.

 

 

[TiffToff88]

7 minutes ago, stripeyfox said:

That's not good mate. I've seen the facebook post you refer to - it is typical of the no brains bullying which goes on on these anonymous "Spotted" pages and the like. The only good thing is the people who have responded so far have been calling the post out for being mean/harsh etc.

 

 

The problem is people don't know the reasons behind things like this with strangers. They see someone wearing sunglasses inside and instantly just start taking the piss, without knowing why she wears them in the first place, and not knowing what kind of mental state she is is. its heartbreaking when she comes home from work in tears on an almost daily basis because arseholes just jump to conclusions and have no consideration for her feelings.

 

Same goes with anyone, not just my mrs. Why people make fun of strangers is beyond me. there are some terrible people in this world. You can't tell from looking at someone if they're depressed, you dont know what they go through on a daily basis.

Edited 5 January 2017 by TiffToff88

[CKB]

20 hours ago, TiffToff88 said:

The problem is people don't know the reasons behind things like this with strangers. They see someone wearing sunglasses inside and instantly just start taking the piss, without knowing why she wears them in the first place, and not knowing what kind of mental state she is is. its heartbreaking when she comes home from work in tears on an almost daily basis because arseholes just jump to conclusions and have no consideration for her feelings.

 

Same goes with anyone, not just my mrs. Why people make fun of strangers is beyond me. there are some terrible people in this world. You can't tell from looking at someone if they're depressed, you dont know what they go through on a daily basis.

 

There's many cvnts in this world and ignorance is still majorly prominent with many people! I really feel for ya missus and you, just keep supporting her and if her workplace isn't really helping, then maybe a change may benefit? I'm sure there are workplaces that will support her the best they can and if she's not getting anything from her current employment then maybe being out of it is best all round?

 

My son gets odd looks now and again from people due to his Autism and his ways. It half angers me and I try to ignore it but when you get stares for an age from someone like my child is some kinda spoilt naughty monster it makes me wanna go batshit crazy at them but I hold back. If there's one thing I'd change in this world it's ignorance 

 

Anyway i do hope the missus and you all the best

[CKB]

On 04/01/2017 at 18:43, tom27111 said:

Hi everyone. 

 

Not been on for a while, so thought I'd post an update...

 

Still at my mates, but had a fairly decent wedge of cash come through, so looking at places currently. Under no pressure to get out from where I am, but want the new start thing and all that.

 

Scouring the Web for cheapish flats, the world is my oyster I guess, can go wherever. Well, as long as it's in Britain!

 

Still have bad days, but friends have rallied around, without patronising, which has been brilliant. Rather like my anonymous online friends who have helped. (That's you lot, not some seedy internet thing)!

 

Sorry to hear others are suffering too and I'm flattered that some have been able to say something and attribute it to me.

 

Thanks all again. I really can't thank you enough for the encouragement and advice. There's some bloody good eggs on here.

 

I'll keep you posted 

All the best mate and I echo what others have said, stay as close as possible! You obviously have a good network of supportive friends around you and that's HUGELY important!

[tom27111]

Been looking at flats today.

 

Don't judge me, but I'm in Derby! It's a short train journey to mates and the property prices are bloody cheap.

 

I'll only be 20 minutes from 'home' on the train too.

 

Plus wearing my city shirt around town will wind up the locals! They don't care about us though.

 

As I say, it's reasonable rent here, so going to get back on my feet and have a look elsewhere in a year or so.

 

Doing the paperwork on a top floor flat. Decent little bachelor pad.

Edited 6 January 2017 by tom27111

[Nick]

5 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Been looking at flats today.

 

Don't judge me, but I'm in Derby! It's a short train journey to mates and the property prices are bloody cheap.

 

I'll only be 20 minutes from 'home' on the train too.

 

Plus wearing my city shirt around town will wind up the locals! They don't care about us though.

 

As I say, it's reasonable rent here, so going to get back on my feet and have a look elsewhere in a year or so.

 

Doing the paperwork on a top floor flat. Decent little bachelor pad.

Nice work!

[Izzy]

20 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Been looking at flats today.

 

Don't judge me, but I'm in Derby! It's a short train journey to mates and the property prices are bloody cheap.

 

I'll only be 20 minutes from 'home' on the train too.

 

Plus wearing my city shirt around town will wind up the locals! They don't care about us though.

 

As I say, it's reasonable rent here, so going to get back on my feet and have a look elsewhere in a year or so.

 

Doing the paperwork on a top floor flat. Decent little bachelor pad.

Good on ya mate. Great that you'll still be close to home and your mates too.

P.S. I see you've been taking the piss and having the craic on other threads. Looks like you're getting your MoJo back Tom! 

[tom27111]

Just now, Izzy Muzzett said:

Good on ya mate. Great that you'll still be close to home and your mates too.

P.S. I see you've been taking the piss and having the craic on other threads. Looks like you're getting your MoJo back Tom! 

I'm trying!

 

I know Derby a little bit too, used to see a girl from here a good few years back.

 

Her dad wouldn't let me in the house, he was a Derby season ticket holder!

 

Poor bastard.

[Izzy]

11 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

I'm trying!

 

I know Derby a little bit too, used to see a girl from here a good few years back.

 

Her dad wouldn't let me in the house, he was a Derby season ticket holder!

 

Poor bastard.

 

We can all rest assured that however bad life sometimes gets, it could always be worse...

 

...at least we don't support the sheep shaggers!! 

 

 

[Maboimahrez]

Actually another poster on here but created a new account to remain anonymous

 

feels weird/embarassed admitting that I am depressed. The stories of others on here and by far worse than mine that I feel mine just are minor in comparison

 

so my story....

 

currently a student doing an Masters , having got a first in Economics. Got exams all next week which I am really scared about failing. Never been in the position of failing before so this is something im just not used to. Still not managed to secure a graduate job yet(one of the reasons I am doing the mba)

 

the stress of failing and wasting all the money on the mba and not having a job is frankly terrifying me. I feel that a failed mba is going to look so bad when applying to jobs in the future that I feel that a job I dont want to do, in a field I dont want to be in is what I am ending up with. Having put so much effort right now and back in my degree, i feel it would have all been for nothing. 

 

Edit- oh btw tom you have been inspirational to me just so you know!

 

Edited 8 January 2017 by Maboimahrez

[Mark_w]

On 06/01/2017 at 16:20, tom27111 said:

Been looking at flats today.

 

Don't judge me, but I'm in Derby! It's a short train journey to mates and the property prices are bloody cheap.

 

I'll only be 20 minutes from 'home' on the train too.

 

Plus wearing my city shirt around town will wind up the locals! They don't care about us though.

My Leicester hoodie did so much brilliant passive gloating in and around Derby uni over the last three seasons. Could not have been timed any better.