Depression

[Izzy]

2 hours ago, stripeyfox said:

The advice you've given in the last few postst @Izzy Muzzett has been brilliant. Whilst I'm not sure if I fall fully in the category of being "officially" depressed, what you've said has really helped.

 

Thanks mate.

 

This thread is incredible. Foxes Talk finest hour!

 

Ah, thanks man 

I think it's just amazing that people who've suffered in silence for so long, find the courage to reach out on here.

Its the least we can do to try and offer a few words of support and encouragement, and let others know they are not alone.

I agree this thread is incredible and it genuinely warms my heart when people say they're starting to feel better and are getting professional help. 

Even on a football forum we can all help remove the stigma attached to mental health and continue to raise awareness so people feel safe and trusted to speak up. 

 

 

[Kopfkino]

Spent the morning lay in bed crying, feeling paralysed, I don't get why I've taken a step back the last couple of days. Feeling completely empty and numb right now, my care for anything has disappeared and I just noticed how off I've been with people too and not really got a clue who to turn to anymore. Over two years of this now, starting to accept this is my life now and feeling 'normal' for a lengthened period of time just isn't going to happen.

[ozleicester]

39 minutes ago, KingGTF said:

Spent the morning lay in bed crying, feeling paralysed, I don't get why I've taken a step back the last couple of days. Feeling completely empty and numb right now, my care for anything has disappeared and I just noticed how off I've been with people too and not really got a clue who to turn to anymore. Over two years of this now, starting to accept this is my life now and feeling 'normal' for a lengthened period of time just isn't going to happen.

Hey mate, sorry to hear its a sh!tty time for you. I can only imagine how difficult it is, have you spoken to a doctor  or counsellor recently? Im not sure whats available over there but if your feeling down give them a call there are lots of people who care and will try to help.

 

Things will improve but it will unfortunately be a bit of a roller coaster but keep riding, its worth it.

[Izzy]

34 minutes ago, KingGTF said:

Spent the morning lay in bed crying, feeling paralysed, I don't get why I've taken a step back the last couple of days. Feeling completely empty and numb right now, my care for anything has disappeared and I just noticed how off I've been with people too and not really got a clue who to turn to anymore. Over two years of this now, starting to accept this is my life now and feeling 'normal' for a lengthened period of time just isn't going to happen.

Never accept this is your life mate. 

We were all 'born normal' so that is our natural state. Babies don't need drugs or counselling so it can only be our crooked thinking about our circumstances that brings on these feelings of emptiness.

Are you still at Uni? Your previous post suggested you weren't enjoying it but also mentioned you were doing CBT on line and on different meds - what's the latest with that?

Don't give up fella. Life is precious and it can be a wonderful experience when we're feeling special and loved - but we have to learn to love ourselves first as a worthwhile human being.

What about family and friends? There's always someone who you can turn to mate. I'm sure I speak on behalf of most on this thread when I say you can message us any time. I'm no expert but I'll happily give you my number if you ever want a chat.

And I know it's hard but try and muster the energy to go outside and get some fresh air, I guarantee you'll feel better afterwards. This time of year can be difficult and I know I suffer from SAD sometimes. Spring and summer will soon be here and hopefully the sunshine will bring out the best in you again.

Hang in there KingGTF, things will get better for you.

[the fox]

1 hour ago, KingGTF said:

Spent the morning lay in bed crying, feeling paralysed, I don't get why I've taken a step back the last couple of days. Feeling completely empty and numb right now, my care for anything has disappeared and I just noticed how off I've been with people too and not really got a clue who to turn to anymore. Over two years of this now, starting to accept this is my life now and feeling 'normal' for a lengthened period of time just isn't going to happen.

Please don't. I know it is cliché to say it. But, things will get better. Staying in bed is the worst thing that you can do. Just think of the bad things that happened to you as a new learning experience. I will bore you with my life story but believe me, things will get better. 

In the start of 2013 (I was 16) my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic Cancer. I didn't know at that time, I though it was something small (his skin turned yellow, I think they call it "jaundice"). My father was not the talkative type. But, you will know if he is sick or in a bad mode. But for some reason, this time he didn't say a thing . So, I thought it is just "jaundice" and he will get well soon. But the thing that I remember as if it was yesterday is the day I walked on my brother and mother talking about the doctor telling them that there is no hope. I was holding a sandwich and eating it, and I remember the taste of that sandwich very clearly. It felt like eating mud. I lost the feeling in my jaw. The movies did a good job portraying those moments. I felt sad, I cried, I got angry, I felt numb. But in the end I accepted that this is life. And sometimes, bad things happen. There are a lot of moments that defined me as the man I am today from that experience alone that I need more then an hour to tell. I failed school that year, my dad died in October and my mum got sick in the funeral. Let's just say, 2013 was not the best of years for me. But I learned to hold my loved ones closer to me and value life. As humans, we tend to forget a lot of thing, and that will help us go forward in life. Let bygones be bygones. Love your self. And every time you feel down remember that you have the right to be as happy as anyone else. Things will get better soon. Be strong.

Edited 31 January 2017 by the fox

[Rincewind]

I saw a quote recently which went something like 'If you remember the bad things in your life you forget about the good things.'

[stripeyfox]

27 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Never accept this is your life mate. 

We were all 'born normal' so that is our natural state. Babies don't need drugs or counselling so it can only be our crooked thinking about our circumstances that brings on these feelings of emptiness.

Are you still at Uni? Your previous post suggested you weren't enjoying it but also mentioned you were doing CBT on line and on different meds - what's the latest with that?

Don't give up fella. Life is precious and it can be a wonderful experience when we're feeling special and loved - but we have to learn to love ourselves first as a worthwhile human being.

What about family and friends? There's always someone who you can turn to mate. I'm sure I speak on behalf of most on this thread when I say you can message us any time. I'm no expert but I'll happily give you my number if you ever want a chat.

And I know it's hard but try and muster the energy to go outside and get some fresh air, I guarantee you'll feel better afterwards. This time of year can be difficult and I know I suffer from SAD sometimes. Spring and summer will soon be here and hopefully the sunshine will bring out the best in you again.

Hang in there KingGTF, things will get better for you.

You're better than an expert mate. Seriously - you really articulate this stuff well.

 

[CKB]

1 hour ago, KingGTF said:

Spent the morning lay in bed crying, feeling paralysed, I don't get why I've taken a step back the last couple of days. Feeling completely empty and numb right now, my care for anything has disappeared and I just noticed how off I've been with people too and not really got a clue who to turn to anymore. Over two years of this now, starting to accept this is my life now and feeling 'normal' for a lengthened period of time just isn't going to happen.

I've had them shit days, I've battled with them days for years upon years! It's horrible I know but keep fighting as for one bad day there are good days. Just keep battling on and try savor the good days because that keeps us strong

 

Get all the help you can, there's no magic wand but if help/meds can make us all cope better with them bad days even if it only does that then that imo is still a huge step in the right direction

Edited 31 January 2017 by CKB

[CKB]

6 minutes ago, stripeyfox said:

You're better than an expert mate. Seriously - you really articulate this stuff well.

 

He's great! I'd have him as my councillor in a heart beat ??

[Izzy]

2 minutes ago, stripeyfox said:

You're better than an expert mate. Seriously - you really articulate this stuff well.

 

Thanks mate, that's very kind of you to say. I'm actually looking at doing a psychotherapy course later this year. Hopefully I'll become qualified counsellor one day 

[Izzy]

2 minutes ago, CKB said:

He's great! I'd have him as my councillor in a heart beat ??

Don't, I'm blushing now! 

Bless ya mate 

[CKB]

1 minute ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Don't, I'm blushing now! 

Bless ya mate 

Haha all true tho! I'm really pleased to hear you wanna be a qualified councillor as you will be perfect for it

[Izzy]

1 minute ago, CKB said:

Haha all true tho! I'm really pleased to hear you wanna be a qualified councillor as you will be perfect for it

Thanks dude.

I see counselling as a possible part time sideline to my coaching business. Not for the money (cos it's crap!) but because I'm really interested in it and benefited from it so much myself. Everyone needs someone they trust in life to listen to them I reckon.

[CKB]

2 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Thanks dude.

I see counselling as a possible part time sideline to my coaching business. Not for the money (cos it's crap!) but because I'm really interested in it and benefited from it so much myself. Everyone needs someone they trust in life to listen to them I reckon.

You have a natural way with words so you will be great at it. I can see why people who have had issues potentially go into that line of work themselves

 

I'm quite good talking about things and giving advice as I know abit with what I've been through but can struggle writing about it as my brain isn't quite articulate enough haha

[stripeyfox]

4 hours ago, KingGTF said:

Spent the morning lay in bed crying, feeling paralysed, I don't get why I've taken a step back the last couple of days. Feeling completely empty and numb right now, my care for anything has disappeared and I just noticed how off I've been with people too and not really got a clue who to turn to anymore. Over two years of this now, starting to accept this is my life now and feeling 'normal' for a lengthened period of time just isn't going to happen.

I've no real advice to give mate, other than what i've said before. The very fact you've posted this message is a huge step and it adds to the pile of useful stuff in this thread. So even by having a "bad day" you are helping the other people who are reading this, or who may do so in the future.

 

This is a great place for help. No one is claiming to be an expert, but lots of people have relevant experience and are prepared to help. No one will judge you and every single word posted here helps you and other people. 

[tom27111]

On 29/01/2017 at 07:58, stripeyfox said:

The advice you've given in the last few postst @Izzy Muzzett has been brilliant. Whilst I'm not sure if I fall fully in the category of being "officially" depressed, what you've said has really helped.

 

Thanks mate.

 

This thread is incredible. Foxes Talk finest hour!

 

 

Seconded.

 

@Izzy Muzzett is either a counsellor or just a bloody top bloke, like the vast majority on this thread 

[Izzy]

5 hours ago, tom27111 said:

 

Seconded.

 

@Izzy Muzzett is either a counsellor or just a bloody top bloke, like the vast majority on this thread 

 cheers Tom, appreciate it mate 

How you dong btw? I see you're posting quite a bit in the Leicester section of the forum and seem to have your mojo back!

[Steven]

The curious thing about this thread is that, although it is about depression it is currently the only uplifting thread on this forum. 

[Man Of Faith]

Quick update on my situation, Its been 2 weeks since seen doctor and had some meds. I wont lie its been really really difficult but sandwiched inbetween them I have had one or two good days, which is better than before. My appetites improved, sleep is still terrible but thats because of having a young daughter whos bad at nights. In terms of the other stuff like I say its so up and down and the slightest knock can totally damage your day and its then so hard to get back up again. So sorry to hear of the struggles of others and that feeling of laying in bed crying, it was only monday evening I was doing that so I can empathise hugely. Really hope others can get some good days again x

[Lionator]

After two more nights of no sleep due to anxiety, at 5am I decided to bite the bullet and try Zopiclone that the doc has prescribed me the week before. I was gone like a light after it'd kicked in and already today after 4/5 hours of good sleep I feel a lot more in control. The next challenge will be not taking Zopiclone again but at least I have the reassurance that no matter how bad it gets, there's things out there that work.

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Man Of Faith said:

Quick update on my situation, Its been 2 weeks since seen doctor and had some meds. I wont lie its been really really difficult but sandwiched inbetween them I have had one or two good days, which is better than before. My appetites improved, sleep is still terrible but thats because of having a young daughter whos bad at nights. In terms of the other stuff like I say its so up and down and the slightest knock can totally damage your day and its then so hard to get back up again. So sorry to hear of the struggles of others and that feeling of laying in bed crying, it was only monday evening I was doing that so I can empathise hugely. Really hope others can get some good days again x

It's good to hear that your appetite has improved and you've had a few 'good' days since your last update 

 

It's really none of my business, but I'm just curious as to what makes the 'good' days good? 

 

We're all up and down like yo-yo's on this thread, so I guess it's important to recognise what's happening for us when we do feel in a better state and we are having good days.

 

Is it due to who we're with on those days? Where we are? What we're doing? What we're thinking? What we've eaten or how much sleep we've had? etc..

 

If we identify what makes the good days good, we can do more of that and hopefully start to have more better days than bad days.

 

I know it's hard to get up again and how the slightest knock can damage our day. But if we can be aware of what causes those knocks and what thinking we attach to them, we can hopefully start to pre-empt them in the future.

 

Good luck and keep going mate. And I hope your daughter improves her sleeping at night - I can definitely relate to that one! 

 

 

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

After two more nights of no sleep due to anxiety, at 5am I decided to bite the bullet and try Zopiclone that the doc has prescribed me the week before. I was gone like a light after it'd kicked in and already today after 4/5 hours of good sleep I feel a lot more in control. The next challenge will be not taking Zopiclone again but at least I have the reassurance that no matter how bad it gets, there's things out there that work.

Zopiclone is good gear aint it!

 

It's good to have the reassurance that you'e got it as a fall back if you ever need it. I found myself hooked on it and ended up having to wean myself off by cutting the tablets in half with a stanley knife and reducing the dosage - but they definitely did the job for me at the time  

 

I'm sorry your anxiety is keeping you up at night. It's the worst feeling not being able to sleep and your head spinning with stuff. I'm sure you've tried different strategies to 'switch off' but it's not easy I know.

 

It's amazing how sleep (or lack of) plays such a major role for us all on this thread. I guess if we can eventually master this and all get a proper nights kip, it's a huge step to feeling better and more like our old selves. I never realised the importance of sleep as a youth but now it's number 1 on my list of priorities as I know I can't function properly without it.

 

Good luck mate and keep us posted.

[CKB]

2 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

Quick update on my situation, Its been 2 weeks since seen doctor and had some meds. I wont lie its been really really difficult but sandwiched inbetween them I have had one or two good days, which is better than before. My appetites improved, sleep is still terrible but thats because of having a young daughter whos bad at nights. In terms of the other stuff like I say its so up and down and the slightest knock can totally damage your day and its then so hard to get back up again. So sorry to hear of the struggles of others and that feeling of laying in bed crying, it was only monday evening I was doing that so I can empathise hugely. Really hope others can get some good days again x

There's always them good days you have to hold onto as them days are the ones that keep us fighting. Just keep battling on mate and hopefully with help and meds more good days will happen! 

 

I see it from my own perspective that if I can cope abit better with the bad days then that's a good step as that sets me up for hopefully more better days ahead

Edited 1 February 2017 by CKB

[Man Of Faith]

1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

It's good to hear that your appetite has improved and you've had a few 'good' days since your last update 

 

It's really none of my business, but I'm just curious as to what makes the 'good' days good? 

 

We're all up and down like yo-yo's on this thread, so I guess it's important to recognise what's happening for us when we do feel in a better state and we are having good days.

 

Is it due to who we're with on those days? Where we are? What we're doing? What we're thinking? What we've eaten or how much sleep we've had? etc..

 

If we identify what makes the good days good, we can do more of that and hopefully start to have more better days than bad days.

 

I know it's hard to get up again and how the slightest knock can damage our day. But if we can be aware of what causes those knocks and what thinking we attach to them, we can hopefully start to pre-empt them in the future.

 

Good luck and keep going mate. And I hope your daughter improves her sleeping at night - I can definitely relate to that one! 

 

 

I guess its the days where I feel more supported. If I hear from the people I care about the most. I have only told a select few people about everything other than that its the mental strain of putting on a good front. But if I feel the love from the people I love it makes the difference. Because without that its lonliness and thats hard to navigate. Oh that and sleep ?? x

[Izzy]

50 minutes ago, Man Of Faith said:

I guess its the days where I feel more supported. If I hear from the people I care about the most. I have only told a select few people about everything other than that its the mental strain of putting on a good front. But if I feel the love from the people I love it makes the difference. Because without that its lonliness and thats hard to navigate. Oh that and sleep ?? x

Just goes to show how important it is for all of us to feel loved and supported by others when we're suffering.

 

It's one of our most basic human needs and has been for thousands of years. It'll never change and we're all preprogrammed to need love and connection in our life.

 

The mental strain of 'putting on a good front' was hard work for me. It was only when I eventually accepted I was struggling and told everyone else, that the burden was lifted and I felt free again.

 

As others have said on here, it's amazing how supportive and non judgemental people are when we truly open up to them. No one deserves to feel lonely in life and those that really care about you will always have time for you. 

 

The Beatles had it right really. "All you need is love, love. Love is all you need" x