Depression

[Arriba Los Zorros]

13 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

Just wanted to say I'd thought about this post and wanted to say that avoiding the thread for what you call 'selfish' reasons is actually (probably) positive self-preservation and self-knowing, and you do better by yourself and all of us by staying away when you need to - I go for long spells of not writing here, and have learnt not to take myself to task for it, and I would encourage you to see your own actions in a better light - you might be setting us a much better example than you realise.

Hadn't thought of it that way, thank you! 

[ajthefox]

3 hours ago, Arriba Los Zorros said:

Hadn't thought of it that way, thank you! 

Wise words from @HighPeakFox that I fully agree with.

 

Sometimes I don't have the energy to reply in here and that's fine, because you have to look after your own mind first and foremost before you can help others. It's cliche but most cliches have an element of truth to them.

 

As a sidenote, Jonah Hill has made a really interesting doc on Netflix called Stutz with his therapist. I found it really interesting, really honest and it helped me frame a couple things in a way that I hadn't before. I highly recommend it.

[filthyfox]

Am having trouble getting motivated to wrap the Mrs's christmas presents

[chrishlcfc]

Longest period I’ve had of just wanting to not live for a while. Can’t stop thinking about not being here, even after I’ve spoke to the people/groups that usually help me. 

[Jon the Hat]

8 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Longest period I’ve had of just wanting to not live for a while. Can’t stop thinking about not being here, even after I’ve spoke to the people/groups that usually help me. 

The world would be a worse place without you my friend, keep at it, you will get there.  Keep talking and keep reaching out.

[Jon the Hat]

[Crinklyfox]

8 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Longest period I’ve had of just wanting to not live for a while. Can’t stop thinking about not being here, even after I’ve spoke to the people/groups that usually help me. 

Chris, if you can, imagine your thoughts if your GP told you that you only had a month to live.

 

A depressed person may feel an initial sense of relief, the struggle will be over, there will be no more suffering.  Then when that feeling has passed the realisation can set in that actually there are things in life that would be missed, that are worth having - and nothingness may not be attractive as it seemed before.  Generations will come and go, the planet will eventually die, whole star systems will change and all the energy in the universe will dissipate, leaving nothing - for ever.  It's then when the realisation sets in that every moment of your life is incredibly precious, something that can never be replaced.

 

I make this comment as someone at the wrong end of his lifespan, who has received medical diagnoses that he didn't want.  I've been depressed for periods of my life and it was hell but I'm still here and the times when I wasn't ill make me want to get every last day out of my life, however long that may be.  I wish that I had that perspective when I was younger.

[filthyfox]

8 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Longest period I’ve had of just wanting to not live for a while. Can’t stop thinking about not being here, even after I’ve spoke to the people/groups that usually help me. 

Hi Chris 

I'm sorry you feel this way.

Try and find something you enjoy doing, and fill your days with it. It could be something as simple as watching horses in fields, or birds fly.

 

I have never felt that I wanted to end it all, BUT, my cousin did do it.

 

This had a profound impact on the WHOLE family, and there isn't a single one of us not frustrating ourselves over did we do something wrong.

 

There's also the point that a failed suicide attempt could end you up in a worse place than you are now.

 

My cousin had EVERYTHING going for him. Fit, a competitive cyclist, an accomplished chef, and a loving family.  But he had drug issues.

He hung himself, and spent the next month twitching, unconcious in a hospital bed, while his family watched, before he let go.  Even if he "recovered" he would have had NOTHING of his previous self.

 

I feel I have to share this.  I'm sorry if it has upset anyone.

[filthyfox]

32 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

Thanks Jon.

These groups would probably be better placed to help than the NHS at this time.

I am still struggling to get a mental health nurse appointment from local GP in place of a cancellation 2 weeks ago!

[HighPeakFox]

Good morning to every single one of you.

[samlcfc]

3 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

For those in Leicestershire, there's also the Crisis Cafe's if you'd like to drop-in and meet someone in person. 

 

Crisis Cafes: Addresses across Leicestershire, offering immediate mental health support. 

Crisis Cafes - Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust (leicspart.nhs.uk)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[chrishlcfc]

Thanks all for the wise words. I feel bad for posting in here how I feel quite regularly, but to be honest I genuinely feel like it sort of helps me come to my senses a little bit when I write it down and think about it.

 

Someone above mentioned the crisis cafe. I’ve been to the one on a Tuesday in Leicester on numerous occasions and they are fantastic. 
 

Obviously I still don’t feel a 100% but it’s about just getting through the days/hours when you feel like that. Putting one foot in front of the other.

 

I’m good at saying these things but my mind doesn’t believe me. Exhausting it is. But I’ll get there.

[samlcfc]

Sounds like this thread is a constructive place to work out some thoughts, and I'm sure everyone here considers it a safe space for people to use in whatever way they may find useful.

 

Writing to someone can be a totally different experience to journaling I think, and we're all happy to encourage it if it helps you work out some thoughts. I know I've managed to consider things that the unreasonable side of my mind struggles to touch when voicing my thoughts to other people.

 

Can also be helpful to have other people provide another way of looking at things when your own mind can't quite see it on some days. 

 

Edited 20 December 2022 by samlcfc

[Parafox]

4 hours ago, samlcfc said:

Sounds like this thread is a constructive place to work out some thoughts, and I'm sure everyone here considers it a safe space for people to use in whatever way they may find useful.

 

Writing to someone can be a totally different experience to journaling I think, and we're all happy to encourage it if it helps you work out some thoughts. I know I've managed to consider things that the unreasonable side of my mind struggles to touch when voicing my thoughts to other people.

 

Can also be helpful to have other people provide another way of looking at things when your own mind can't quite see it on some days. 

 

Writing stuff down gives your mind thinking time rather just being a reactive process and it's important to have balanced and experienced responses that you can read as many times as you like and work out the points that are pertinent to you. 

That's sometimes better than direct conversation with someone (maybe a counsellor) as the conversation is a single moment that can easily be misremembered.

[samlcfc]

6 minutes ago, Parafox said:

Writing stuff down gives your mind thinking time rather just being a reactive process and it's important to have balanced and experienced responses that you can read as many times as you like and work out the points that are pertinent to you. 

That's sometimes better than direct conversation with someone (maybe a counsellor) as the conversation is a single moment that can easily be misremembered.

Good point.

 

I often find that some of my therapy sessions go by in a bit of a blur and I don't feel like said anything of much relevance.

 

Maybe I need to make sure I put a bit of time in writing stuff out before the sessions!

[ajthefox]

The other good thing for me about writing things down is that you can read it back, and I find that often helps me realise how temporary a lot of things in life are.

[ozleicester]

I hvae no idea and i hope that everyone struggling feels better. I saw this on twitter and thought it may be of some value. It was apparently written by Stephen Fry to a young person who had contacted him.

If anyione thinks its innapropriate, please let me know and ill take it down.

[filthyfox]

6 hours ago, ozleicester said:

I hvae no idea and i hope that everyone struggling feels better. I saw this on twitter and thought it may be of some value. It was apparently written by Stephen Fry to a young person who had contacted him.

If anyione thinks its innapropriate, please let me know and ill take it down.

Not inappropriate at all!

It makes perfect sense, and is exactly how I am feeling.   Only....  its been raining 3 months in a row now!

[ozleicester]

25 minutes ago, filthyfox said:

Not inappropriate at all!

It makes perfect sense, and is exactly how I am feeling.   Only....  its been raining 3 months in a row now!

Sorry to hear that.

[chrishlcfc]

Going doctors in a bit. Find it difficult speaking to people. 
 

But to try and get better I have to try and be more honest about how bad I’ve actually felt recently.  

[samlcfc]

1 hour ago, chrishlcfc said:

Going doctors in a bit. Find it difficult speaking to people. 
 

But to try and get better I have to try and be more honest about how bad I’ve actually felt recently.  

Best of luck.

 

In my unprofessional opinion, try to recognise the doctor as a professional and discuss your feelings in a way that will allow them to properly evaluate what support they can provide or signpost to.

 

It's definitely easier said than done, but worth mentioning I think.

 

Edited 22 December 2022 by samlcfc

[chrishlcfc]

27 minutes ago, samlcfc said:

Best of luck.

 

In my unprofessional opinion, try to recognise the doctor as a professional and discuss your feelings in a way that will allow them to properly evaluate what support they can provide or signpost to.

 

It's definitely easier said than done, but worth mentioning I think.

 

Thanks. To be honest I found the GP as much use as usual, I’m not that trustworthy with doctors anyway. They struggle to help me with my physical health problems let alone my mental health ones, he just signposted me to CAP team who I speak to anyway and said whenever you feel like this just speak to people. 
 

Edit: More bad news was getting counselling but now my counsellor has left. So got to go back onto waiting list to see someone else. Just when starting to feel I was getting somewhere with her and opening up. The world is stupid sometimes

Edited 22 December 2022 by chrishlcfc

[filthyfox]

56 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Thanks. To be honest I found the GP as much use as usual, I’m not that trustworthy with doctors anyway. They struggle to help me with my physical health problems let alone my mental health ones, he just signposted me to CAP team who I speak to anyway and said whenever you feel like this just speak to people. 
 

Edit: More bad news was getting counselling but now my counsellor has left. So got to go back onto waiting list to see someone else. Just when starting to feel I was getting somewhere with her and opening up. The world is stupid sometimes

Talking helps.

I've been off work for a month.

I went to family graves to tidy them up today, and my work colleague was passing, stopped her van IMMEDIATELY on seeing me, gave me a HUGE hug (yes....I would).

Spent about 15 mins talking,  she's been through all the same shit as me, with the tiring type of depression, not the ending it all type.

Made me feel SO much better.

 

Ps... being naughty and having some rum tonight

Edited 22 December 2022 by filthyfox

[samlcfc]

57 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Thanks. To be honest I found the GP as much use as usual, I’m not that trustworthy with doctors anyway. They struggle to help me with my physical health problems let alone my mental health ones, he just signposted me to CAP team who I speak to anyway and said whenever you feel like this just speak to people. 
 

Edit: More bad news was getting counselling but now my counsellor has left. So got to go back onto waiting list to see someone else. Just when starting to feel I was getting somewhere with her and opening up. The world is stupid sometimes

Regarding the counsellor. Hopefully the circumstances should see you placed at the top of the wait list, in order that they'll contact you fairly shortly. The same thing happened to me.

 

Fingers crossed for you, that they are experienced enough to pick up fairly smoothly where the last one left off. 

[Wymsey]

If you're having a tough time, really please just speak to someone that you can trust (someone who you feel is appropriate/best to talk to about the particular matter).

 

Indeed, if you feel someone you know in the family or even at work is struggling due to them being quiet than normal etc., please do ask them if they're OK.

 

Yes, making that first step to communicate about a problem affecting you is hard to do when the issue is deep - but talking can open doors to practical solutions over time.

-

Fair play to 'Big Sam' and Robbie Fowler for joining in the discussion about 3 Fathers' (whose children took their own lives) campaign about mental health awareness.

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-64037704