Depression

[ajthefox]

@weller54 I do not know what to say. Wherever you are reading this, my heart goes out to you and your family. The mind plays some dark tricks on us sometimes, and it is a powerful thing. 

I'm so sorry for your loss. 

 

To anyone reading, take care of yourself and those around you. x

[chrishlcfc]

Back to being in a bad place nearly all the time. I tried to change, I honestly don’t think I can do it. I’m ready to just give up now to be honest. Don’t feel there’s anything left to live for. To just feel constantly miserable and down and in pain with physical issues all the while has just ground time down to the point of giving up completely. Not even talking to people helps anymore, that’s when you know it’s all over 

[rachhere]

41 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Back to being in a bad place nearly all the time. I tried to change, I honestly don’t think I can do it. I’m ready to just give up now to be honest. Don’t feel there’s anything left to live for. To just feel constantly miserable and down and in pain with physical issues all the while has just ground time down to the point of giving up completely. Not even talking to people helps anymore, that’s when you know it’s all over 

I don't really feel qualified to say anything because I have never been where you are now, but I know there's a load of people on here who can testify to have being where you are now and that they have come out the other side and are just so grateful they kept going. Please keep talking to your friends here on FT, and reach out to those around you 

Edited 7 August 2022 by rachhere

[ajthefox]

Hope everyone is doing ok, @chrishlcfc & @weller54 in particular.

 

I'm finding things a bit much right now, I can barely look at the news or anything to do with current affairs without feeling a wave of doom crash over me. It isn't even doom-scrolling, it's simply what is right in front of us with the climate, war and energy bills.

 

I don't want to bury my head in the sand, but I know all I can do is try and take the little steps that are within my control, so there isn't much point worrying too much. Easier said than done though when there are signs of our quality of life declining all around us.

[Guest Electric Yetis]

Struggling a bit tonight. Have just got back from the second of two great holidays in the space of a month.

 

Now I know that sounds ungrateful, poor me etc but it's completely un-usual for us, we were left some money in a family members will during covid.

 

I've suffered a lot before with massively low feelings but over the last year it's subsided a fair bit and I now realise its because I was so focused on making it to these holidays.

They were so brilliant and the kids had the greatest time ever.

 

Now the reality is kicking in, back to a job I hate on Monday and eldest starting secondary school I'm completely dejected and the familiar feelings are creeping in. 

[ajthefox]

23 hours ago, Rain King said:

Struggling a bit tonight. Have just got back from the second of two great holidays in the space of a month.

 

Now I know that sounds ungrateful, poor me etc but it's completely un-usual for us, we were left some money in a family members will during covid.

 

I've suffered a lot before with massively low feelings but over the last year it's subsided a fair bit and I now realise its because I was so focused on making it to these holidays.

They were so brilliant and the kids had the greatest time ever.

 

Now the reality is kicking in, back to a job I hate on Monday and eldest starting secondary school I'm completely dejected and the familiar feelings are creeping in. 

Sounds tough mate. 

 

Going back to work can always be daunting when you're not enjoying it. I think the vast majority can empathise with that, no matter what we do. 

 

I always try and remember that what I'm feeling is temporary and can be hugely altered by the choices I make about my own thoughts. When the darkness has hold it can be 100 times more difficult to control that and to see things clearly, but it's still the case. Only it's hidden by the storm. 

 

We can't control the storm, and it might get really dark for a really long time. But we can always control our attitude towards the storm, and how we deal with it.

Edited 14 August 2022 by ajthefox
Missed a word.

[Guest Electric Yetis]

Thanks for the reply. And I agree. I waste so much time focusing on negative thoughts about things that may or may not happen.

 

What these few weeks has made me realise is that I'm desperate to live closer to the coast. Never felt more relaxed and at ease than when I'm sitting by the sea - rain or shine.

 

One goal is to now make that move but easier said than done with kids at school age.

Edited 14 August 2022 by Rain King

[UniFox21]

8 minutes ago, Rain King said:

Thanks for the reply. And I agree. I waste so much time focusing on negative thoughts about things that may or may not happen.

 

What these few weeks has made me realise is that I'm desperate to live closer to the coast. Never felt more relaxed and at ease than when I'm sitting by the sea - rain or shine.

 

One goal is to now make that move but easier said than done with kids at school age.

Have it pretty similar myself, getting caught up on those negative thoughts and spiralling from there. 

 

It's great you've realised moving to the coast will help be more relaxed, hopefully it can be a reality sooner rather than later for you. 

[ajthefox]

4 minutes ago, Rain King said:

Thanks for the reply. And I agree. I waste so much time focusing on negative thoughts about things that may or may not happen.

 

What these few weeks has made me realise is that I'm desperate to live closer to the coast. Never felt more relaxed and at ease than when I'm sitting by the sea - rain or shine.

 

One goal is to now make that move but easier said than done with kids at school age.

Me too mate, me too. Sometimes I just wish I could turn my brain off for a bit, you know?

 

My attention span has gone to shit the last couple years, that hasn't helped either. 

 

It's funny you mention the coast. I've been swimming in the sea about 8 times since the day the UK hit 40. I live on the Wirral so I can bike to the water in 15 in two directions and about half an hour in the third. It's easy when the weather's so nice, but I'm going to try and make it a regular thing at least whilst the weather is reasonable. The beaches won't win any awards but that doesn't matter.

 

Being connected to nature is what matters.

 

Identifying that that makes you feel good is a good step, hopefully you can keep taking small steps towards that and can take positivity from that progress. I hope you get out to the coast again soon Rain King.

[Guest Electric Yetis]

29 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

Me too mate, me too. Sometimes I just wish I could turn my brain off for a bit, you know?

 

My attention span has gone to shit the last couple years, that hasn't helped either. 

 

It's funny you mention the coast. I've been swimming in the sea about 8 times since the day the UK hit 40. I live on the Wirral so I can bike to the water in 15 in two directions and about half an hour in the third. It's easy when the weather's so nice, but I'm going to try and make it a regular thing at least whilst the weather is reasonable. The beaches won't win any awards but that doesn't matter.

 

Being connected to nature is what matters.

 

Identifying that that makes you feel good is a good step, hopefully you can keep taking small steps towards that and can take positivity from that progress. I hope you get out to the coast again soon Rain King.

Yep was swimming in the sea most days last week. Felt great and energised every time. 

[Wymsey]

On 13/08/2022 at 20:55, Rain King said:

Struggling a bit tonight. Have just got back from the second of two great holidays in the space of a month.

 

Now I know that sounds ungrateful, poor me etc but it's completely un-usual for us, we were left some money in a family members will during covid.

 

I've suffered a lot before with massively low feelings but over the last year it's subsided a fair bit and I now realise its because I was so focused on making it to these holidays.

They were so brilliant and the kids had the greatest time ever.

 

Now the reality is kicking in, back to a job I hate on Monday and eldest starting secondary school I'm completely dejected and the familiar feelings are creeping in. 

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

 

With regards to the point mentioned in bold, can this mindset and situation can be altered/solved at all (for example, if you're working with not nice colleagues mention it to your manager; or if it's that you don't like the job itself, would you be willing to start afresh somewhere more appropriate/study something etc. (I presume that you're relatively young)?

 

[Guest Electric Yetis]

1 hour ago, Wymsey said:

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

 

With regards to the point mentioned in bold, can this mindset and situation can be altered/solved at all (for example, if you're working with not nice colleagues mention it to your manager; or if it's that you don't like the job itself, would you be willing to start afresh somewhere more appropriate/study something etc. (I presume that you're relatively young)?

 

Colleagues are fine, hours are fine. I'm just in a rut. Have been there a long time doing various things and just bored to tears by it all. 

 

 

[Jattdogg]

4 hours ago, Rain King said:

Colleagues are fine, hours are fine. I'm just in a rut. Have been there a long time doing various things and just bored to tears by it all. 

 

 

I feel like this applies to so many. I know it does for me! 

 

Update your resume and see what else is out there. You don't have to apply but if the right thing comes up your resume just needs a few tweaks!

 

Or win the lotto lol.

 

 

 

[urban.spaceman]

On 13/08/2022 at 20:55, Rain King said:

Struggling a bit tonight. Have just got back from the second of two great holidays in the space of a month.

 

Now I know that sounds ungrateful, poor me etc but it's completely un-usual for us, we were left some money in a family members will during covid.

 

I've suffered a lot before with massively low feelings but over the last year it's subsided a fair bit and I now realise its because I was so focused on making it to these holidays.

They were so brilliant and the kids had the greatest time ever.

 

Now the reality is kicking in, back to a job I hate on Monday and eldest starting secondary school I'm completely dejected and the familiar feelings are creeping in. 

 

6 hours ago, Rain King said:

Yep was swimming in the sea most days last week. Felt great and energised every time. 

 

4 hours ago, Rain King said:

Colleagues are fine, hours are fine. I'm just in a rut. Have been there a long time doing various things and just bored to tears by it all. 

Never apologise for having a great holiday mate. Great family trips really shape kids and I’m sure they’ll be talking about their holidays with you when they’re older.
 

Every now and then I remind my sister of that time our dad shat himself on a beach in Cape Town and we (not literally) piss ourselves over the memory of him waddling up the beach to the car. 

Sorry you’re in a rut though. I swear job dissatisfaction feels like is at an all time low. 

Edited 15 August 2022 by urban.spaceman

[filbertway]

5 hours ago, pmcla26 said:

This past year has comfortably been the worst of my life and the hardest for me to process mentally, but I feel like I'm turning a corner. I still have my vices and flaws, but I'm starting to think life isn't that bad. Things still aren't ideal, or how I wish that they could be, and I feel very alone at times, but I'm finally feeling like I'm making the best of what I can control. 

 

I don't hate myself anymore and it's the first time I've been able to say that for as long as I can remember. 

I know we tend to disagree on almost everything football related

 

I'm glad to read this though mate. Certainly sounds like your mindset and life and moving in the right direction, long may it last  

[weller54]

6 hours ago, pmcla26 said:

This past year has comfortably been the worst of my life and the hardest for me to process mentally, but I feel like I'm turning a corner. I still have my vices and flaws, but I'm starting to think life isn't that bad. Things still aren't ideal, or how I wish that they could be, and I feel very alone at times, but I'm finally feeling like I'm making the best of what I can control. 

 

I don't hate myself anymore and it's the first time I've been able to say that for as long as I can remember. 

Long may it continue..

[Foxdiamond]

On 14/08/2022 at 20:50, ajthefox said:

Me too mate, me too. Sometimes I just wish I could turn my brain off for a bit, you know?

 

My attention span has gone to shit the last couple years, that hasn't helped either. 

 

It's funny you mention the coast. I've been swimming in the sea about 8 times since the day the UK hit 40. I live on the Wirral so I can bike to the water in 15 in two directions and about half an hour in the third. It's easy when the weather's so nice, but I'm going to try and make it a regular thing at least whilst the weather is reasonable. The beaches won't win any awards but that doesn't matter.

 

Being connected to nature is what matters.

 

Identifying that that makes you feel good is a good step, hopefully you can keep taking small steps towards that and can take positivity from that progress. I hope you get out to the coast again soon Rain King.

I do agree about trying to turn your brain off sometimes. It is so easy to go down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts. The connection to nature is a tremendous boon if you can tap into it. I'm not a great one for lots of heat but a nice walk or enjoying the garden certainly helps. 

[Ian Nacho]

Seems as if bank holidays are always times where I have a bit of a down. The only real purpose in my life for a while now is my job and an extended weekend with no plans gives me a glimpse of what life would look like without this purpose. I’m not going to go into the specifics of what gets to me on here, mainly because I feel like it would be weird, but half the time I just feel like billy-no-mates and just that guy that everyone knows of but nobody has any real interest in. I’m in this rut of purely existing at the moment. Maybe meeting new people would help with some of the feelings I have but it’s so much harder to meet people when you don’t know anyone; people may have suggestions to how I could meet some new people, but in reality I know that deep down I really do not like the process of artificially putting myself out there to get to meet people, so all I’ll end up doing is bottling it and doing nothing. 

[Jon the Hat]

On 15/08/2022 at 05:51, Rain King said:

Colleagues are fine, hours are fine. I'm just in a rut. Have been there a long time doing various things and just bored to tears by it all. 

Might be worth talking to your boss or HR?  Sometimes when you get into a rut so does their view of you - i.e you are seen as happy to tick along.  If you want that to change you need to let them know - they may have some ideas.

[weller54]

One month ago today my lovely Niece Yvonne took her own life.. today would have been her 60th birthday.  What would have been a day of celebrations and laughter is now another dreadfully hard day to get through 😪💔

[Thefox81]

52 minutes ago, weller54 said:

One month ago today my lovely Niece Yvonne took her own life.. today would have been her 60th birthday.  What would have been a day of celebrations and laughter is now another dreadfully hard day to get through 😪💔

So sorry to hear that. As difficult as it may be try and think of the good and happy times. I know its a cliche but it helps me on anniversaries of a dear friend lost through suicide 💙💙💙

[HighPeakFox]

@weller54, peace be with you. Try and do one positive thing today, however small - commemorate your niece that way perhaps.

[Jimothy]

1 hour ago, weller54 said:

One month ago today my lovely Niece Yvonne took her own life.. today would have been her 60th birthday.  What would have been a day of celebrations and laughter is now another dreadfully hard day to get through 😪💔

As others have said sorry for your loss. Easier said than done, but try and celebrate her life, not the terrible circumstances of a month ago. I suppose that'll be easier in time, but she was clearly a special person to you all and there's a reason she was. Condolences to you and your family.

[weller54]

22 minutes ago, Facecloth said:

As others have said sorry for your loss. Easier said than done, but try and celebrate her life, not the terrible circumstances of a month ago. I suppose that'll be easier in time, but she was clearly a special person to you all and there's a reason she was. Condolences to you and your family.

Thank you all so much... She was driven to end her life by her husband who she was trying to divorce... this sums it up:

[ajthefox]

One of my best mates and a lass I've recently met both messaged me saying they're struggling at the minute within 15 minutes of each other. 

 

I've been thinking about seeing a therapist for ages and for no real reason haven't done it, but it's hit home a little this evening.

 

We are all so much more "connected" and yet clearly not as connected as we should be. We all need to take care of each other. 

 

Hope everyone is feeling ok this evening.