Gambling Addiction - Need Help, A Chat - Read This!

[grobyfox1990]

Well done @Ric Flair - heartfelt read and really good to see you're getting through it, even though i don't know you, genuinely wish you and others in this position my absolute best in strength and courage to get through and beat those crooked bookies! 

Online gambling, like social media and other forms of under the cover addiction are, and continue to, warp our society. God knows what evolution will do to the next generations...

[lcfc sheff]

On 23/08/2018 at 12:36, Ric Flair said:

Fair play to you for trying to look out for your mate, hopefully he'll see sense and accept the help but it has to come from within. Doesn't surprise me to see the increase in stakes, these sites know exactly what they're doing with slots, blackjack and roulette. The quick repetition of the outcome and the very favourable start they give new customers means certain troubled gamblers will be returning and returning with higher stakes.

 

To put it in to context, I used to gamble on an array of things. What I'd class betting on things like golf, football and horses and then gambling on roulette and slots. It's the latter two where the damage was done but it would often stem from minimal losses on betting where'd I'd go chasing my losses quickly, knowing I'd usually get them back and then some to fund my betting on sports for the weeks to come. The most I've ever staked on a sport bet is around £200 and that was a rarity, any bets over £25-50 would usually be deliberated on and often never placed or would be a result of a large free bet I'd been given for the amount of money I'd stake on roulette or slots. My final spin on roulette that I lost was £1800. Just let that sink in, I'd be apoplectic to consider a bet on an outcome where there's an element of skill involved in picking the winner but I was that far gone on roulette that I'd just spin spin spin my head off.

 

It's sick and it's got to be controlled. 

He's not even my mate! I think he seems to do it for attention at times as most addicts you'd argue don't want people to know about it; while he seems to the opposite.

And I completely agree with you on the sports betting/ casino betting, definitely was the case at times for me; but I've never bet anything that would be considered as serious as what you have. I'm still angry at myself for listening to people on here that Schmeichel was leaving and actually betting on it, never again will I listen to that kind of rubbish!

I personally think the whole online Casino betting should be banned, if people were forced to use real life Casinos only I think that would be a good start.

[Fathead1981]

I have struggled with gambling since the age of 14 when I would regularly pump the fruities with my hard earnt cash even back then. What started as fruit machine addiction soon developed into far worse when I went to University and went to a casino for the 1st time where I won £500 and thought this is great. I then proceeded to spend virtually every day of the next 3 years in arcades or at the casino and racked up over £30k of losses which is obscene for a student.

About 2 years after Uni my parents found out and paid off my debt and I assured them I would stop. Of course I didn't and regularly spunked my wages up the wall within 30 minutes of receiving them each week. This continued for about 10 years until I had to breakdown and confess to my now ex wife about my addiction. My parents lent me £45k to buy a house and sure enough I blew the lot, I remember going down to £3k and then somehow fought back to over £50k which should be enough for anyone but not me, I continued and blew the lot in a matter of weeks.

The pain and hurt it caused my parents was the lowest I have ever felt and eventually helped contribute to the breakdown of my marriage. I went 3 years without placing a bet and went to a specialists in Soho to look at why I did it and what was fuelling my addiction.

 

Then my Ex Wife left me for another man and all the good work I had done soon went tits up and I was back gambling with a bang losing 1000's on a regular basis racking up debts of over £15k. Again I broke down to my parents and amazingly they paid that debt off as well which should of been the end of it. Here I am 3 years later still hooked on it having racked up debts of another £20k and I honestly don't see how I will ever get out of this, I have a good paid job and am paying off £2k a month but still racking up more as we go.

Just stop is what people say but I honestly cant its all I think about and my dreams are full of gambling and I feel physically sick with the stress and lies of it all as I really don't think my parents could handle me telling them I still am an idiot.

I know I must stop before this ruins even more of my life (im in my late 30's) but there is like a voice in my head which tells me to do it, that this could be the moment you get the big win to clear all your debts and start life again with a clean slate for the 5th time. The reality is that big win is never coming as even if it did that wouldn't make me stop and like others have said it would soon go back x2.

The ease at which I can do it is ridiculous on my phone and I regularly leave important meetings at work to check how my Iranian 2nd division football bets are getting on and place some more. It really has destroyed my life and upset all the people I love and it is a daily battle and one I fear I will face everyday for the rest of my life

[Max Wall]

18 minutes ago, lcfc sheff said:

With my age group, we've grown up in the era of group chats and being able to put bets on your phone; I feel as though some people put bets on to impress there mates, especially with the guy I mentioned previously. Particularly with Uni students, a lot seem to put their leftovers from student loans on sporting bets or even casinos, its crazy.

I'd like to think their will be a crackdown but it only seems to be getting worse, Skybet recently added a "Group Bet" feature. This is basically where you and your mates add one result each to an accumulator but it is then recorded with a table based on who gets the most wins or the highest average odds! I feel they're definitely targeting my age group. 

Absolutely no doubt your age group is targeted. What has changed significantly is that In 2018, a lot of 20 somethings still live at home. Therefore, they have more disposable income than ever before. Bookies have been pretty quick to recognise that and that 'group bet' feature is definitely an indication of that. By making it a 'competition' between friends they're sucking in a large amount of people at once. Even the couple of guys in a group that don't usually bet are likely to be encouraged with that. They're making it seem like your playing fantasy football or dream team but at a heightened cost. That's fvcking criminal. Well, it isn't but it should be.

When I first gambled, you had to pass actual notes over the counter. The actual transaction where you pass hard cash did seem to make me think a little more, especially regarding stakes. I've placed much bigger bets (by my standard) on bookies websites than I ever did at a shop. When it can go direct from a bank account, it can seem like it's not costing you your own money at all, which seems ridiculous, but is the case.

I still have the odd sports bet but nothing like I have at various times in the past. Maybe that's just age. I'm not sure how, but they do have to do something about the regulations, for all ages but specially for youngsters.

Edited 23 August 2018 by Max Wall

[Countryfox]

 

I am absolutely stunned at the amount of betting adverts we are subjected to nowadays ...   it’s fookin ridiculous !!     Every time they come on me and the mrs comment on them. There are some very very wealthy people out there who live off other people’s addictions and no doubt grease a few palms to get what they want.  They have no conscience.   For all the correctness we now encounter in our lives there are so many other things that are going backwards ...   oh, how we laughed at the old cigarette adverts ! ...   and how clever of us to ban them.    But all we have done is replace them with another social problem.   What chance have we got ...   the government are too busy scoring points off each other and yarping on about brexit.    Hey ho.

[Max Wall]

9 minutes ago, lcfc sheff said:

He's not even my mate! I think he seems to do it for attention at times as most addicts you'd argue don't want people to know about it; while he seems to the opposite.

And I completely agree with you on the sports betting/ casino betting, definitely was the case at times for me; but I've never bet anything that would be considered as serious as what you have. I'm still angry at myself for listening to people on here that Schmeichel was leaving and actually betting on it, never again will I listen to that kind of rubbish!

I personally think the whole online Casino betting should be banned, if people were forced to use real life Casinos only I think that would be a good start.

That was a mistake, good that you're still angry with yourself about it. Someone on here posted not so long ago that we'd be bottom after 10 games with zero points and zero goals. Foxestalk tipping is definitely to be avoided.

I agree absolutely with the banning of online casinos but the cynic in me screams that ultimately money talks and online casinos are  where the quick pots of gold are for the bookies so it won't happen.

[Max Wall]

14 minutes ago, Fathead1981 said:

I have struggled with gambling since the age of 14 when I would regularly pump the fruities with my hard earnt cash even back then. What started as fruit machine addiction soon developed into far worse when I went to University and went to a casino for the 1st time where I won £500 and thought this is great. I then proceeded to spend virtually every day of the next 3 years in arcades or at the casino and racked up over £30k of losses which is obscene for a student.

About 2 years after Uni my parents found out and paid off my debt and I assured them I would stop. Of course I didn't and regularly spunked my wages up the wall within 30 minutes of receiving them each week. This continued for about 10 years until I had to breakdown and confess to my now ex wife about my addiction. My parents lent me £45k to buy a house and sure enough I blew the lot, I remember going down to £3k and then somehow fought back to over £50k which should be enough for anyone but not me, I continued and blew the lot in a matter of weeks.

The pain and hurt it caused my parents was the lowest I have ever felt and eventually helped contribute to the breakdown of my marriage. I went 3 years without placing a bet and went to a specialists in Soho to look at why I did it and what was fuelling my addiction.

 

Then my Ex Wife left me for another man and all the good work I had done soon went tits up and I was back gambling with a bang losing 1000's on a regular basis racking up debts of over £15k. Again I broke down to my parents and amazingly they paid that debt off as well which should of been the end of it. Here I am 3 years later still hooked on it having racked up debts of another £20k and I honestly don't see how I will ever get out of this, I have a good paid job and am paying off £2k a month but still racking up more as we go.

Just stop is what people say but I honestly cant its all I think about and my dreams are full of gambling and I feel physically sick with the stress and lies of it all as I really don't think my parents could handle me telling them I still am an idiot.

I know I must stop before this ruins even more of my life (im in my late 30's) but there is like a voice in my head which tells me to do it, that this could be the moment you get the big win to clear all your debts and start life again with a clean slate for the 5th time. The reality is that big win is never coming as even if it did that wouldn't make me stop and like others have said it would soon go back x2.

The ease at which I can do it is ridiculous on my phone and I regularly leave important meetings at work to check how my Iranian 2nd division football bets are getting on and place some more. It really has destroyed my life and upset all the people I love and it is a daily battle and one I fear I will face everyday for the rest of my life

Jeez, it's hard to know what to say after reading that. I can't even begin to place myself in your shoes. 

Late 30's isn't old at all these days, it still leaves you a lot of time to get things moving in a better direction but it sounds like somehow you have to start that process soon. I don't read the gambling threads much on here (or the depression threads and similar) as often the posts are pretty heartbreaking like yours is. There does seem to be incredible support on this forum for all types of things though. Someone mentioned that in the depression thread just yesterday. There may be someone or something you read on one of those threads that may appeal to you in terms of how someone else has reached the other side of a situation like yours.

I'm genuinely not sure what else to say other than good luck and don't stop trying things to try and get out of the cycle.

[Finnaldo]

On 23/08/2018 at 10:34, Ric Flair said:

It's a harrowing read and something I've been through. I lost £10,000 in less than 30 minutes a few months ago and finally hit rock bottom. I'm now doing everything humanely possible to abstain from gambling long term, it's not going to be easy but I'm very serious this time. It's no longer something I'm keeping to myself, they call gambling the secret addiction and it is. You can just sit at home or whilst your waiting for your missus in a shop, gambling your head off and causing untold misery to yourself and everyone around you in seconds. A lot of these online bookmakers don't have any limits either, unless you start winning a wedge and they'll soon restrict you.

 

I lost a significant amount of money back in 2013 and remember at the time posting on here about how I needed to stop gambling but truth be told, I didn't want to know. I was just hurting that I'd lost all that money and needed the pain to go away, you'll agree to anything to try and stop the agony. I didn't do anything other than tell myself if I ever gamble again i'll devastate myself, I didn't tell anybody close to me who could help put barriers in place, I didn't tell my now wife how much I'd lost and what I'd been up to. So I ploughed on, on my own and managed to go nearly 2 years through determination not to bet or gamble on anything. But nothing changed in my mindset, I was still only one bet away from falling back in to the heinous habit that I had. After a while, if nothing has changed to your thought process or character, then the pain of what you did previously will subside and the exciting feelings of gambling and the holy grail of a big win will come back and fill your every waking thought. That's where my problem has been since early adulthood, I'm immature about money and life. Any problems or stress and the release of gambling and the potential to win big money would make everything better, when what a load of bollocks that is. A) I had/have no regard for money anyway so why would a load of it suddenly make everything right in the world and B) I am a compulsive gambler and any big win would only lead to bigger problems later down the line. But I'd always daydream about winning big as a way of coping with mundane life, unfulfillment at work and general day to day worries about money etc. I wasn't living in the real world, it was all fantasy as a way of escaping from whatever problems I had under the surface. It was a childish way of dealing with things, in fact that's being unfair to children. It was a moronic and warped way of life and mentality, only now that I'm learning about the triggers and how I've got to this point do I understand what needs to be done to permanently change for the better in my life long pursuit to a gambling free life.

 

I go to GA and have recently started counselling through Gamcare (who are brilliant by the way) and it's still early days but I'm quietly confident i'll beat this. I no longer keep all of this to myself, I've been brutally honest to my wife, my best pals and my family and although they were horrified and it didn't make much sense, they have all been brilliant. I believe in honesty 100%, as a gambler you lie constantly. You lie to yourself, you lie to others, you're a selfish bastard and nothing gets in the way of that roulette wheel or that horse or dog shit conference south team you're waiting on 10+ corners for. I am open and speak about how I'm feeling and this is key for me to change, as soon as I stop being honest and keep all of this to myself, it's easy to slip back in to the world of gambling. I have banned myself from all online betting sites, I have software on all devices that add a further barrier just in case, I've cancelled credit cards, overdrafts and am banned from bookies, casinos, the whole nine yards. My wife has access to all my finances to ensure I'm not being a complete cretin. There's no going back.

 

Truth be told, I still miss the buzz of gambling which is scandalous, given the sickening feeling that I can barely describe from the obscene losses I've had. But it's a twisted addiction and the anarchy and chaos of being thousands of pounds down and staring in to the abyss of financial devastation only to win it all back is a scarily powerful and alluring feeling. I can deal with any brief and fleeting twinge of missing gambling because I've built up a resistence to it's very being. I can never allow that to change, I view gambling as evil and I'm disgusted with the way I was living my life. I've got a son who's 2 and a half and I was risking his future by being a stupid idiot. I am aware it's a disease of sorts but I'm allowing myself no excuses for it, it just fuels my focus on changing the future. I can't change the past, the damage I've done, the money I've lost is gone, there's no point even going over it. It's the absolute pits of a thing to be caught up in.

 

Anyway, if anyone else is suffering from the grips of gambling and haven't yet been able to reach out for help, please do before you cause yourself and your loved ones a lot of pain. Send me a DM if you want any advice on where to go for help, there's some amazing people and organisations out there who care. The government are finally having to accept this epidemic that the gambling industry is causing too. FOBT's in bookies are soon to be, if not already reduced from £100 spins down to £2 spins. Addicts will find their fix from somewhere but at least it's making it harder to do severe financial damage at the click of a button.

 

Life is worth more than this. Don't be a pleb like me

 

Thanks for sharing Ric, and good luck for the future, addiction truly is one of the worst fate on this Earth.

I've always had a somewhat addictive personality so have always been careful on what I invest my time/money in. Never bothered with drugs, even weed on getting into a habitual pattern, and I watch what I drink. When I turned 18 I already had a couple of mates you would bet every now and then and whilst I have a PaddyPower account its set on a £5 maximum deposit weekly. I think thats massively put me off regular bets and I only make a rare on every month or so tops.

The thing that makes me immediately wary of gambling is that unlike any other addiction there's no immediate apparent 'deterrent'. No hangover, no comedown. If you're already well invested in gambling I can imagine it just become numbers on the screen until the affects of losing that money have to be confronted. 

It's an insidious addiction, and I hope anyone who thinks they're in danger of spiralling or show any signs, or sees their mates indicating it, can confront it and get the help they need.

[lcfc sheff]

18 minutes ago, Max Wall said:

That was a mistake, good that you're still angry with yourself about it. Someone on here posted not so long ago that we'd be bottom after 10 games with zero points and zero goals. Foxestalk tipping is definitely to be avoided.

I agree absolutely with the banning of online casinos but the cynic in me screams that ultimately money talks and online casinos are  where the quick pots of gold are for the bookies so it won't happen.

Somehow you start to believe that people are telling you correct information, when really it's either recycled twitter rumours or complete rubbish; not worth it. 

And sadly I agree with you on your last point.

[Max Wall]

3 minutes ago, lcfc sheff said:

Somehow you start to believe that people are telling you correct information, when really it's either recycled twitter rumours or complete rubbish; not worth it. 

I hadn't really considered it but the information cycle on the likes of facebook and twitter must also have an impact on what people think they know.

I mentioned that I work with some youngsters now and I've lost count of the amount of times one of the teenagers has regurgitated some obviously false information they've seen as fact. Whether that's football rumours or something else is immaterial I suppose. I'm inclined to burst out laughing at some of the more outrageous stuff they repeat and call them a tit (in a playful way) whilst pointing out the hole in the story they're telling. Apply that same situation to gambling though and it's easy to see how some of that false information could persuade someone they're onto a good thing and part with money. Even more so if they are in a situation where they are chasing losses already. 

I only really used to look at FT over a weekend until recently and I will say this, over this close season, Foxestalk has become a real eye opener for me. There are really helpful and insightful threads and posters on here.

[Ric Flair]

2 hours ago, Bert said:

All the best Flair. You’ll get through it. 

 

Ive recently made the decision to stop gambling online and have self excluded from online betting which is the biggest way you’ll ever get yourself into shit. You don’t feel the loss because it’s not hard cash. You lose and then chase chase chase. I will still have a bet on the football and the big horse meetings but that’s it for me. I’ll take £10 in the shop without my card for a Saturday and that’s it. However or what it goes on, it goes and that’ll be that. It’s getting harder and harder to win these days, the markets available now are ridiculous as well. £10 a week will be enjoyment. Any more for me, will not be enjoyment and it should be about fun/a bit of interest. 

 

When all is said and done after a big loss think to yourself how much better you could’ve utilised that money. That’s enough for me

Thanks mate, and to everyone else who's wished me all the best.

[Ric Flair]

On 23/08/2018 at 13:45, Fathead1981 said:

I have struggled with gambling since the age of 14 when I would regularly pump the fruities with my hard earnt cash even back then. What started as fruit machine addiction soon developed into far worse when I went to University and went to a casino for the 1st time where I won £500 and thought this is great. I then proceeded to spend virtually every day of the next 3 years in arcades or at the casino and racked up over £30k of losses which is obscene for a student.

About 2 years after Uni my parents found out and paid off my debt and I assured them I would stop. Of course I didn't and regularly spunked my wages up the wall within 30 minutes of receiving them each week. This continued for about 10 years until I had to breakdown and confess to my now ex wife about my addiction. My parents lent me £45k to buy a house and sure enough I blew the lot, I remember going down to £3k and then somehow fought back to over £50k which should be enough for anyone but not me, I continued and blew the lot in a matter of weeks.

The pain and hurt it caused my parents was the lowest I have ever felt and eventually helped contribute to the breakdown of my marriage. I went 3 years without placing a bet and went to a specialists in Soho to look at why I did it and what was fuelling my addiction.

 

Then my Ex Wife left me for another man and all the good work I had done soon went tits up and I was back gambling with a bang losing 1000's on a regular basis racking up debts of over £15k. Again I broke down to my parents and amazingly they paid that debt off as well which should of been the end of it. Here I am 3 years later still hooked on it having racked up debts of another £20k and I honestly don't see how I will ever get out of this, I have a good paid job and am paying off £2k a month but still racking up more as we go.

Just stop is what people say but I honestly cant its all I think about and my dreams are full of gambling and I feel physically sick with the stress and lies of it all as I really don't think my parents could handle me telling them I still am an idiot.

I know I must stop before this ruins even more of my life (im in my late 30's) but there is like a voice in my head which tells me to do it, that this could be the moment you get the big win to clear all your debts and start life again with a clean slate for the 5th time. The reality is that big win is never coming as even if it did that wouldn't make me stop and like others have said it would soon go back x2.

The ease at which I can do it is ridiculous on my phone and I regularly leave important meetings at work to check how my Iranian 2nd division football bets are getting on and place some more. It really has destroyed my life and upset all the people I love and it is a daily battle and one I fear I will face everyday for the rest of my life

Sorry to hear about your struggles mate, I'm sure you've probably considered this before and I don't mean to piss you off if not but your parents always bailing you out will have made it much easier for you to go back to your old ways. They mean well and are obviously salts of the earth but the last thing a compulsive gambler needs is their debts written off as nothing actually changes. My parents were going to bail me out but thankfully I've refused as I'm not sure it would help, I think it would give me an easier way out and less focus on changing for good. I'd not be as dedicated in searching for the reasons to my hideous addiction and eventually I'd kid myself I could stay in control if I started gambling again.

 

Please don't think it's too late mate, there's blokes (and women) who were in much worse a situation than you are with gambling and they have finally beaten it. I have heard from these very people at GA and it's quite a powerful and emotional experience. GA isn't for everyone but they don't bull shit and it's a place where you can talk to people on a level where they understand and it's the little bits of advice that stick that can help make a difference along with the other steps you put in place to change.

 

Send me a DM on here, we can have a chat if you want mate. Forget all the money you've lost, it's not the most important focus. You can't change what you've done, but you can try and change today and the next day and so on. You're still young mate, I'm 35 and am facing this now. Start by banning yourself from all online sites and make it a lot harder to get your hands on vast amounts of money, in the short term it'll keep the wolf from the door. Gamcare are amazing at helping too, google them and call them or at least read the forums.

[Fathead1981]

On 23/08/2018 at 16:43, Ric Flair said:

Sorry to hear about your struggles mate, I'm sure you've probably considered this before and I don't mean to piss you off if not but your parents always bailing you out will have made it much easier for you to go back to your old ways. They mean well and are obviously salts of the earth but the last thing a compulsive gambler needs is their debts written off as nothing actually changes. My parents were going to bail me out but thankfully I've refused as I'm not sure it would help, I think it would give me an easier way out and less focus on changing for good. I'd not be as dedicated in searching for the reasons to my hideous addiction and eventually I'd kid myself I could stay in control if I started gambling again.

 

Please don't think it's too late mate, there's blokes (and women) who were in much worse a situation than you are with gambling and they have finally beaten it. I have heard from these very people at GA and it's quite a powerful and emotional experience. GA isn't for everyone but they don't bull shit and it's a place where you can talk to people on a level where they understand and it's the little bits of advice that stick that can help make a difference along with the other steps you put in place to change.

 

Send me a DM on here, we can have a chat if you want mate. Forget all the money you've lost, it's not the most important focus. You can't change what you've done, but you can try and change today and the next day and so on. You're still young mate, I'm 35 and am facing this now. Start by banning yourself from all online sites and make it a lot harder to get your hands on vast amounts of money, in the short term it'll keep the wolf from the door. Gamcare are amazing at helping too, google them and call them or at least read the forums.

Your certainly not pissing me off I agree fully with what you have said with regards my folks bailing me out constantly. I went to GA about 10 years ago and it didn't really work for me but back then I was kidding myself that I wanted to stop but now its what I want and need more than anything. Last time I stopped I was very open about my addiction but the issue I face is I cant come clean now as it would destroy my parents and also put pressure on my relationship as she has no idea about any of this.

I think not discussing it with anyone has really hampered my efforts as you feel you are doing it alone but honestly even writing this has inspired me to give it another big effort although its easy for me to hind behind a keyboard and write that its a different kettle of fish actually doing it. The problem is im a very good liar both to others and myself and am normally a happy go lucky guy on the outside always cracking jokes as have buried all the stress and hurt I am doing to myself.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond and good luck on your efforts lets hope we can both crack this horrendous addiction as it has plagued us both for far too long by the sounds of it

[Fox92]

Far too many gambling adverts but it just seems so bigger nowadays. When I first turned 18 I used to go down bookies before going to the football to stick a few quid on. Nothing big but it all adds up and I cba just chucking money away because I rarely won. Not interested in doing it anymore. Haven't even played lottery since I was about 17 either, I don't think I'll ever touch that shite again.

Fair play to people with big addictions (gambling, alcohol and drugs) because it takes a lot to stop. I've read plenty of Ric Flair's posts on here about him too. Good stuff. If only town centres could limit how many bookies they had.

[SpacedX]

I'd have probably been more scathing and critical about it other than the odd post if it wasn't for the risk of sounding like a sanctimonious dictatorial pharisee - but I find the gambling thread on here as concerning as the notion of starting one on crystal meth or smack. Difference is, gambling, like alcohol is legal, institutionalised and legitimised. The recent curbing and relaxation of legislation in addition to the intentional targeting of vulnerable areas and prevalence of advertising has created as Fox92 phrased it, a societal "scourge".  I believe in the freedom of choice and individual agency but a dependency is not conducive to either - and such addictions are being intentionally engineered to the detriment of the nation.

in addition an all consuming compulsion to gamble at any cost are the repercussions  affecting employment, quality of life, family relationships and mental and physical health.   As someone else noted, problem gambling doesn't just affect the individual. It's estimated that for every problem gambler at least 10 other family members, friends and colleagues are also directly affected. The magnitude of this negative impact on wider society is finally beginning to be appreciated.

No revelations there - and I accept that my opinions are not in the slightest bit constructive in the context of this thread. Conversely, respect to Ric for sharing such an insightful, introspective, brave, honest and candid testimony. Platitudes don't help, but acknowledgement truly is the first step towards the solution. I suspect that so many on our resident gambling thread are in complete denial. I wish you well mate. 

[The Syrup]

I've probably lost about £60k to gambling over the last 8 years. It came to a stage about 2 years ago where I defaulted on all my debts, thus ruining my credit rating. To fund my addiction I was taking out credit where I could, I defaulted on about 10 payday loans, overdraft, 3 credit cards and 4 bank loans. Even after that I was still gambling at lower amounts because i loved the buzz. At the height of the gambling I remember depositing £5k off my credit card and straight away sticking it on the middle dozen of William Hills live casino roulette table... it won. had £15k in my account and managed to get it up to £25k... within an hour I'd lost the lot. The feeling of disgust I had with myself was off the scale... yet next payday I was back.

Over the last year I've slowly self excluded from about 15 online bookies. I'm paying my debts back (£1k a month) and haven't gambled for a few months. My credit rating is now so shit I can only get a £100 limit on a credit card. On the plus side I plan to be debt free other than my mortgage within a few years. I amazingly don't have any CCJs against me and kept a roof over my head.

For such a regulated industry, how come the UK gambling commission can't sort out some way of self excluding across the board. Obviously won't stop you walking into a bookies or casino but having some sort of database the online casinos have to check can't be that difficult.

[Izzy]

Amazing thread and a real eye opener. Thanks to @Ric Flair and the others for your insights and honesty. Best of luck to you all.

[brucey]

4 hours ago, The Syrup said:

For such a regulated industry, how come the UK gambling commission can't sort out some way of self excluding across the board. Obviously won't stop you walking into a bookies or casino but having some sort of database the online casinos have to check can't be that difficult.

This actually exists now, it launched a month or two ago. It covers all UK registered gambling sites. Only takes five minutes to sign up - https://www.gamstop.co.uk. It's the single best thing you can do if your issue is with the online stuff.

Edited 24 August 2018 by brucey

[stripeyfox]

This is an amazing thread. Some really heartbreaking stuff on here. I've been concerned for a while about the proliferation of gambling adverts, particularly around football. The tone of a lot of these ads is all about having fun and how the match is enhanced by gambling. It's not really something i'm into - I have an online betting account and occasionally - like maybe once or twice a year - will put a tenner in it and bet the old £1/£2. But I rarely use it when am actually at a game because I can't be arsed with the whole "cash out" thing - which is another clever way the bookies are adding an entire level of engagement and interaction with their customers. I don't mind having the odd pound bet at the kiosk at the ground on a first goalscorer/score bet but never win.

You can see, and we've seen in this thread, how easy it is to get sucked in and once you're in, it's easier to keep going than it is to quit. 

The gambling industry has "normalised" this to an extent that it's just everywhere now. Football clubs in particular really need to look at their relationship with the betting industry.

 

[FoxSince88]

I work in a casino often taking large amounts of money off punters....

10,20 30K a night.....tonight one guy was in for £30K +

you lose the value of money really quickly doing the job, 

before that I used to earn a considerable amount of money daily which I would go straight to the bookmakers with and shove it through the roulette machines as fast as possible....

 

 

[stripeyfox]

16 hours ago, Fathead1981 said:

I have struggled with gambling since the age of 14 when I would regularly pump the fruities with my hard earnt cash even back then. What started as fruit machine addiction soon developed into far worse when I went to University and went to a casino for the 1st time where I won £500 and thought this is great. I then proceeded to spend virtually every day of the next 3 years in arcades or at the casino and racked up over £30k of losses which is obscene for a student.

About 2 years after Uni my parents found out and paid off my debt and I assured them I would stop. Of course I didn't and regularly spunked my wages up the wall within 30 minutes of receiving them each week. This continued for about 10 years until I had to breakdown and confess to my now ex wife about my addiction. My parents lent me £45k to buy a house and sure enough I blew the lot, I remember going down to £3k and then somehow fought back to over £50k which should be enough for anyone but not me, I continued and blew the lot in a matter of weeks.

The pain and hurt it caused my parents was the lowest I have ever felt and eventually helped contribute to the breakdown of my marriage. I went 3 years without placing a bet and went to a specialists in Soho to look at why I did it and what was fuelling my addiction.

 

Then my Ex Wife left me for another man and all the good work I had done soon went tits up and I was back gambling with a bang losing 1000's on a regular basis racking up debts of over £15k. Again I broke down to my parents and amazingly they paid that debt off as well which should of been the end of it. Here I am 3 years later still hooked on it having racked up debts of another £20k and I honestly don't see how I will ever get out of this, I have a good paid job and am paying off £2k a month but still racking up more as we go.

Just stop is what people say but I honestly cant its all I think about and my dreams are full of gambling and I feel physically sick with the stress and lies of it all as I really don't think my parents could handle me telling them I still am an idiot.

I know I must stop before this ruins even more of my life (im in my late 30's) but there is like a voice in my head which tells me to do it, that this could be the moment you get the big win to clear all your debts and start life again with a clean slate for the 5th time. The reality is that big win is never coming as even if it did that wouldn't make me stop and like others have said it would soon go back x2.

The ease at which I can do it is ridiculous on my phone and I regularly leave important meetings at work to check how my Iranian 2nd division football bets are getting on and place some more. It really has destroyed my life and upset all the people I love and it is a daily battle and one I fear I will face everyday for the rest of my life

This post could be a big first step mate. It takes a lot of balls to post that. It's honest and you're not blaming anyone other than yourself. You need to try and find a way to break the cycle and I know that ain't easy, but you're not even 40 yet so you still have a long time to go in your life. I'd urge you to contact GA or some other organisation that can help, because I don't think you can do this on your own and nor should you have to. I really wish you the best of luck mate. I'd also reach out to people like @Ric Flair and keep posting on here. This is a great community - see the "Depression" thread for examples of this - lots of help, support and advice with no moral judgement.

 

[Col city fan]

On 23/08/2018 at 10:34, Ric Flair said:

It's a harrowing read and something I've been through. I lost £10,000 in less than 30 minutes a few months ago and finally hit rock bottom. I'm now doing everything humanely possible to abstain from gambling long term, it's not going to be easy but I'm very serious this time. It's no longer something I'm keeping to myself, they call gambling the secret addiction and it is. You can just sit at home or whilst your waiting for your missus in a shop, gambling your head off and causing untold misery to yourself and everyone around you in seconds. A lot of these online bookmakers don't have any limits either, unless you start winning a wedge and they'll soon restrict you.

 

I lost a significant amount of money back in 2013 and remember at the time posting on here about how I needed to stop gambling but truth be told, I didn't want to know. I was just hurting that I'd lost all that money and needed the pain to go away, you'll agree to anything to try and stop the agony. I didn't do anything other than tell myself if I ever gamble again i'll devastate myself, I didn't tell anybody close to me who could help put barriers in place, I didn't tell my now wife how much I'd lost and what I'd been up to. So I ploughed on, on my own and managed to go nearly 2 years through determination not to bet or gamble on anything. But nothing changed in my mindset, I was still only one bet away from falling back in to the heinous habit that I had. After a while, if nothing has changed to your thought process or character, then the pain of what you did previously will subside and the exciting feelings of gambling and the holy grail of a big win will come back and fill your every waking thought. That's where my problem has been since early adulthood, I'm immature about money and life. Any problems or stress and the release of gambling and the potential to win big money would make everything better, when what a load of bollocks that is. A) I had/have no regard for money anyway so why would a load of it suddenly make everything right in the world and B) I am a compulsive gambler and any big win would only lead to bigger problems later down the line. But I'd always daydream about winning big as a way of coping with mundane life, unfulfillment at work and general day to day worries about money etc. I wasn't living in the real world, it was all fantasy as a way of escaping from whatever problems I had under the surface. It was a childish way of dealing with things, in fact that's being unfair to children. It was a moronic and warped way of life and mentality, only now that I'm learning about the triggers and how I've got to this point do I understand what needs to be done to permanently change for the better in my life long pursuit to a gambling free life.

 

I go to GA and have recently started counselling through Gamcare (who are brilliant by the way) and it's still early days but I'm quietly confident i'll beat this. I no longer keep all of this to myself, I've been brutally honest to my wife, my best pals and my family and although they were horrified and it didn't make much sense, they have all been brilliant. I believe in honesty 100%, as a gambler you lie constantly. You lie to yourself, you lie to others, you're a selfish bastard and nothing gets in the way of that roulette wheel or that horse or dog shit conference south team you're waiting on 10+ corners for. I am open and speak about how I'm feeling and this is key for me to change, as soon as I stop being honest and keep all of this to myself, it's easy to slip back in to the world of gambling. I have banned myself from all online betting sites, I have software on all devices that add a further barrier just in case, I've cancelled credit cards, overdrafts and am banned from bookies, casinos, the whole nine yards. My wife has access to all my finances to ensure I'm not being a complete cretin. There's no going back.

 

Truth be told, I still miss the buzz of gambling which is scandalous, given the sickening feeling that I can barely describe from the obscene losses I've had. But it's a twisted addiction and the anarchy and chaos of being thousands of pounds down and staring in to the abyss of financial devastation only to win it all back is a scarily powerful and alluring feeling. I can deal with any brief and fleeting twinge of missing gambling because I've built up a resistence to it's very being. I can never allow that to change, I view gambling as evil and I'm disgusted with the way I was living my life. I've got a son who's 2 and a half and I was risking his future by being a stupid idiot. I am aware it's a disease of sorts but I'm allowing myself no excuses for it, it just fuels my focus on changing the future. I can't change the past, the damage I've done, the money I've lost is gone, there's no point even going over it. It's the absolute pits of a thing to be caught up in.

 

Anyway, if anyone else is suffering from the grips of gambling and haven't yet been able to reach out for help, please do before you cause yourself and your loved ones a lot of pain. Send me a DM if you want any advice on where to go for help, there's some amazing people and organisations out there who care. The government are finally having to accept this epidemic that the gambling industry is causing too. FOBT's in bookies are soon to be, if not already reduced from £100 spins down to £2 spins. Addicts will find their fix from somewhere but at least it's making it harder to do severe financial damage at the click of a button.

 

Life is worth more than this. Don't be a pleb like me

[joachim1965]

The thing that really chuffs me off is the fact that the bookies know that they have you hooked and are causing misery, but they make themselves appear all concerned and respectable by putting in a little disclaimer "when the fun stops, stop" as if it is as easy as that ffs.

[HighPeakFox]

Just found this thread, and had to wait for my daily restriction to lift before I could add a few words. I, like a previous contributor, am wary of coming across as anything other than understanding or supportive.

I'm lucky - I was a fruit machine addict, I quit when 17, and like the estimable @Ric Flair, I attended GA in Leicester and have not touched one of those machines since. This is not to say I haven't gambled since - I have - but my addiction was pretty specific/focussed, and the odd bet on a football match, or playing stakes at rubber bridge (an activity I have a semblance of control over, unlike a fruit machine) seems not to get me into trouble.

However....it's worth saying that although losing enormous sums of cash is a very high price to pay for everyone connected to compulsive gambling, even low-level losses (such as mine were) wrought personal damage on me, and I am pretty certain that the emotional and social difficulties that led to my addictive behaviour are still with me, and have certainly affected me emotionally throughout my adult life (I'm nearly 48 now).

One other thing to add, in case it's helpful. At GA, at the beginning of meetings, we would all declare that we ARE a compulsive gambler - in other words, it doesn't just melt away, the urge just weakens and we (hopefully) replace it with something more wholesome, however, we never truly beat it. Life is full of temptations, and given that our entire economy appears (to me, anyway) to be predicated upon weapons-grade gambling, it is perhaps a very understandable habit that many of us form. People say that admitting the problem is the hardest step - I'm not convinced by that, I think that doing what it takes to stop is harder.

Always here if anyone wants to PM me

[Fathead1981]

9 hours ago, brucey said:

This actually exists now, it launched a month or two ago. It covers all UK registered gambling sites. Only takes five minutes to sign up - https://www.gamstop.co.uk. It's the single best thing you can do if your issue is with the online stuff.

Thanks Brucey just signed up to this as today is normally the worst day for me as its payday and usually the day I spunk 100's if not 1000's up the wall, thanks for the information. It sounds weird, and please don't think I take it like a pleasure, but i'm almost glad that there are so many others who admit to stuggling with this as in my darkest moments you can think you are the only one suffering from this and that everyone else would be critical of you if you opened up.