Malapropisms

[WigstonWanderer]

According to my wife, who was 7 stone when I married her, she’s now become volumptuous 

[1972 Fox]

16 hours ago, lcfc278 said:

The Iheanacho one gets my goat, it's not even a difficult name to pronounce!

Glenn Hoddle finds it difficult and he is able to continue spouting out Innyacho on BT Sport.

 

Maybe they wouldn't let him into Poland because his name is actually Innyacho but the name on his passport didn't match. 

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

One that really pisses me off (and it doesn't come up often) I've heard a colleague saying she's sick of people "pampering to" the director. I explained the first time the word she is looking for is "pander". You "pander to" someone, or you can "pamper" someone. Different things

 

The next time I heard her use the phrase I just realised she was one of those dithering ageing women as per the examples above.

 

I just don't understand how you can speak a language for your entire life and still not have a grasp of it. Now I'm doubting whether "dithering" was the right word to use. Someone correct me. 

[Parafox]

37 minutes ago, Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo said:

Now I'm doubting whether "dithering" was the right word to use. Someone correct me. 

I think it is the right word, just needs a comma after it.

[drumbeat]

I like the ones that kind of work in their own way and possibly add something. I mentioned the 'wolf in cheap clothing' before. I've now added 'tender hooks' and 'pampering to'.

 

You can understand them and they arguably retain a similar meaning but with just a little bit of an unintended (? though perhaps maybe not!) extra flavour.

[String fellow]

My nephew used to dream of driving a porch.

Edited 15 October 2021 by String fellow

[StanSP]

 

 

[Spudulike]

20 hours ago, Wolfox said:

Like - “thats a mute/ moot point”

 

(although it’s a little different - sounds the same)

 

14 hours ago, danny. said:

They’re pronounced differently? Myewt/moot

They are not pronounced differently if you are Leicestrian. Bit like stoo (stew) or toob (tube). 

[danny.]

I’m from the Eyres Monsell (where grammar and pronunciation go to die) and have never heard anyone pronounce mute as moot!

[Free Falling Foxes]

My father-in-law refers to his computer OS as, Microscoff and pronounces his wi-fi router as in the woodworking router venacula.

Anyone else I would find it quite quaint, but for some reason it annoys me when he keeps saying it.

[Shambles]

Hospickle in place of hospital. 

[Guest Mee-9]

Best one I’ve heard is my father in law.

 

Calls jalapenos, filipinos. 
 

Apparently he doesn’t like filipinos on his pizza.

 

[WigstonWanderer]

2 hours ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

My father-in-law refers to his computer OS as, Microscoff and pronounces his wi-fi router as in the woodworking router venacula.

Anyone else I would find it quite quaint, but for some reason it annoys me when he keeps saying it.

Aussie’s pronounce router in that way and it used to annoy me when I first got here. Long since gone native. “Rooter” has an entirely different connotation.

[foxile5]

Large portions of Americans say 'I could care less' instead of 'I couldn't care less' and they simply refuse to understand there's a difference. Maddening. 

[RobHawk]

Not quite the same, but I used to have a boss who often used the amended saying "faint heart never ****ed a fair maiden" I've used it ever since 🤣

[Unabomber]

1 hour ago, foxile5 said:

Large portions of Americans say 'I could care less' instead of 'I couldn't care less' and they simply refuse to understand there's a difference. Maddening. 

I never understood this one.

[Unabomber]

Also Americans call herbs erbs as if the h isn’t even there.

[drumbeat]

2 hours ago, foxile5 said:

Large portions of Americans say 'I could care less' instead of 'I couldn't care less'

I'm sorry. What was that again? "Large portions of Americans"? How many kilos are we talking? Do I eat for free if I can eat the lot?

[drumbeat]

14 minutes ago, Unabomber said:

Also Americans call herbs erbs as if the h isn’t even there.

Funny that. So do the French. Almost as if it's a different language.

[StanSP]

Played Articulate last night. 

 

My mum gave the clue 'it's a river in Africa, you also do this kind of dance at weddings in a line like a train'. 

 

The answer obviously being Congo but she got a bit mixed up in the clues

 

[Dahnsouff]

49 minutes ago, Unabomber said:

I never understood this one.

Always assumed there was an inherent ‘Like I could care less’ in the statement, but then again that feels a bit English irony, so probably not…

[Bellend Sebastian]

My Gran:

 

Pizza pronounced 'Pisa' as in leaning tower of.

 

The 'Aus' of Australia pronounced 'Orse'. Why do you think it's nicknamed, 'Oz', woman? It's not like either word is rarely heard.

 

My friend's Swedish wife: "That's part of the parcel" of an issue

 

I know someone else that comes out with loads of them but the only two I can remember are "Jesus wet" and "swinging the leg", the latter of which is particularly great as it apparently comes with actions to underline the confusion

[Collymore]

Chris Woods

[WigstonWanderer]

Just came across another that I haven’t heard before. By enlarge.

[drumbeat]

9 minutes ago, WigstonWanderer said:

Just came across another that I haven’t heard before. By enlarge.

I had to say that to myself a number of times over before hearing that there's a difference in stress. It is odd that someone can say 'enlarge', I've not heard anyone say that. You must have thought you heard it wrong!