Your most embarrassing moment

[Lambert09]

Earlier this week i had a bit of a mare. I was out walking and dragging my toddler in his wagon. My wife called and i was speaking with her and all of a sudden there was a car horn. I look up wondering what’s going on and they’re pointing backwards… I’d clearly forgotten to put the seat belt on as my toddler had fallen out the back of the wagon and some how i’d not heard and had walked on for about 3 meters. 

 

The shame was compounded as when i was picking him up and checking he was okay, a young girl comes over on her bike. I was expecting her to say “is he okay” or something but no… she tells me “ I saw what happened”  I felt threatened by an 8 year old 

 

I can now not walk on that street ever again. 

[fuchsntf]

6 minutes ago, Lambert09 said:

Earlier this week i had a bit of a mare. I was out walking and dragging my toddler in his wagon. My wife called and i was speaking with her and all of a sudden there was a car horn. I look up wondering what’s going on and they’re pointing backwards… I’d clearly forgotten to put the seat belt on as my toddler had fallen out the back of the wagon and some how i’d not heard and had walked on for about 3 meters. 

 

The shame was compounded as when i was picking him up and checking he was okay, a young girl comes over on her bike. I was expecting her to say “is he okay” or something but no… she tells me “ I saw what happened”  I felt threatened by an 8 year old 

 

I can now not walk on that street ever again. 

Lucky a Polar bear didn’t have a few words with you….

Telling you she ordered Seal, from meals on wheels and not small kids road kill..

[Blarmy]

Shat myself in a busy French street, having achieved adulthood several decades prior. 

[Footballwipe]

Walking down Narborough Road to a home game against Blackpool about 14 years ago. Lovely warm day and I've got a home shirt on. As I get near the Co-op on the road a car full of Blackpool fans wind down the window and give a bit of "light banter." One of them said "can I have your shirt so I can burn it?"

 

I'm turned to them and am smiling in that "what a bunch of willy pullers but we'll laugh this off" kind of way when... BANG...

 

I'd walked into a lamp post.

 

They absolutely pissed themselves. Of course they did. I died inside from their laughter and the people walking around me who'd all clearly seen me walk into a fvcking lamp post. After a red-faced walk to the ground I had to get a first aider at the ground to get something to help dab the blood coming from my head.

Edited 12 May 2023 by Footballwipe

[HybridFox]

I'm sure everyone's let a loud one rip in public at some stage haha 

Edited 12 May 2023 by HybridFox

[Jabfox]

Slipped down the stairs in the work reception/foyer on Tuesday. The office is all glass so the majority of people saw it happen. Not my finest hour! 

[jonthefox]

I was going out with a girl for a few weeks and her cousin was getting married. As much as i protested she really wanted me to go. So, at the reception i thought i'd better go over and wish her well and thank her for inviting me. As we were talking i didn't realise i had my foot on the train of her dress. We said goodbye and she walked off and i heard this almighty rip. The whole room turned around to see a bride with half a wedding dress and a pissed me with the other half under my foot. Me and the girlfriend would probably still laugh about it if she wasn't a total bitch and hadn't binned me. 

[urban.spaceman]

Tried to console a Norwich supporting girl I quite liked after they got relegated by getting really drunk with her. Except I drank nearly 2 bottles of 50% proof Virgin Atlantic Vodka by myself, stumbled home and jumped in the shower, threw up my Chinese meal from earlier, slipped on it and hit my head, sat down then fell asleep as the blocked drain caused the shower to overflow and I flooded my room, the room below and the hall of my dorm and lost my security deposit.

 

Nearly 20 years later and I can finally laugh about it.

[LcFc_Smiv]

While in my first year of uni I lived across the corridor from an extremely good looking girl who took pity on me after I was cheated on by the girl I was seeing at the time. We were two of a few who had returned early after Christmas and she suggested we go for a few drinks to take my mind off things. Mistaking her kindness for what I thought was half a chance I gleefully accepted and texted a close friend that I was in there with a shot. After a couple of bars we were joined by a friend of hers who, in the politest way possible I couldn't stand and could see her ruining my best laid plans. She recommended we go to a nightclub which I happily agreed to, at this point I'd had enough to pluck up the courage to make a move.

 

While dancing away, I had a text from my mate asking how it was going, I excused myself to go to the toilet and said I'd stop by the bar on the way back to the dance floor. As I walked away she text me with her drinks order. Once in the gents I quickly opened my phone, typed and sent the message "mate shes incredible, definitely got a chance just need her mate to give me half a yard and f**k off, will catch up in the morning when the deed is done ;)". Straight out the toilets heading back to the dancefloor to ask what drink she wanted I could see her staring at me, phone in hand, her mate giving me daggers. As I approached she turned her phone to me to show the above message. Turns out,  I'd unlocked my phone and opened the most recent message thinking it was my mate and not realising she'd text her drink order. Sure enough I was in a taxi on the way home alone within the next 5 mins. To make matters worse, she happily shared the story of the d*ckhead across the hall who took advantage of her kindness to a large number of people, before I knew it I had friends, course mates and even the girl who had originally cheated on me letting me know they'd heard about my night out.  I still get reminded of it to this day when I catch up with uni mates.

[Parafox]

There's a similar topic from a few years ago. I tried to find it but can't. 

 

It was very amusing. 

 

When I was about 13 I was walking to the bus stop to go into town when a mate's dad stopped at a red light just as I was passing. He waved in greeting but I took this as a sign for a lift. I got in the car and said thanks.

 

He was actually on his way home from work. Fair play to him, he took me into town. Once I'd got in and then realised my error, I was pretty embarrassed.

 

Another time I was about 19. I met a girl and we had a brief relationship. She was up for it one night and I got down to business. As I was doing the deed on her parents living room carpet, I thought "surely this isn't right, she seems really bristly down there". Only afterwards did I realise my member was not where it should have been and was actually between her bum cheeks and the carpet. She never said anything about it but I was mortified.

 

 We didn't continue the relationship. 

 

40-50 years on, these stick in my mind.

[Costock_Fox]

26 minutes ago, Parafox said:

There's a similar topic from a few years ago. I tried to find it but can't. 

 

It was very amusing. 

 

When I was about 13 I was walking to the bus stop to go into town when a mate's dad stopped at a red light just as I was passing. He waved in greeting but I took this as a sign for a lift. I got in the car and said thanks.

 

He was actually on his way home from work. Fair play to him, he took me into town. Once I'd got in and then realised my error, I was pretty embarrassed.

 

Another time I was about 19. I met a girl and we had a brief relationship. She was up for it one night and I got down to business. As I was doing the deed on her parents living room carpet, I thought "surely this isn't right, she seems really bristly down there". Only afterwards did I realise my member was not where it should have been and was actually between her bum cheeks and the carpet. She never said anything about it but I was mortified.

 

 We didn't continue the relationship. 

 

40-50 years on, these stick in my mind.

Better than sticking in her carpet.

[Izzy]

52 minutes ago, Parafox said:

Only afterwards did I realise my member was not where it should have been and was actually between her bum cheeks and the carpet.

Might use that as my new signature 

[jonthefox]

2 hours ago, Parafox said:

There's a similar topic from a few years ago. I tried to find it but can't. 

 

It was very amusing. 

 

When I was about 13 I was walking to the bus stop to go into town when a mate's dad stopped at a red light just as I was passing. He waved in greeting but I took this as a sign for a lift. I got in the car and said thanks.

 

He was actually on his way home from work. Fair play to him, he took me into town. Once I'd got in and then realised my error, I was pretty embarrassed.

 

Another time I was about 19. I met a girl and we had a brief relationship. She was up for it one night and I got down to business. As I was doing the deed on her parents living room carpet, I thought "surely this isn't right, she seems really bristly down there". Only afterwards did I realise my member was not where it should have been and was actually between her bum cheeks and the carpet. She never said anything about it but I was mortified.

 

 We didn't continue the relationship. 

 

40-50 years on, these stick in my mind.

That story was my signature a few years back. Sorry @Izzy

[Guest Mee-9]

When at uni, me and my mates used to do this ridiculous and disgusting thing when we’d go to the loos, we’d go in the cubicles next door to each other and try and splash each others shoes, pissing under the side wall towards the other. (Yeah we were ****ing disgusting) 

 

We were in the Student Union one night, and me and my mate Rich did this. Well, I thought it was Rich in the cubicle next to me. Starting pissing, then turned 90 degrees to the left in an attempt to splash his shoes, letting the yellow river run free, and all I heard from next door was ‘BRUV WHAT THE **** MY BRAND NEW JORDANS.’ 
 

Turned out my mate had done a runner from the loo, i’d splashed some 6 foot 7 black guys new shoes with my Jagermeister-tinged piss. To make things worse, as I legged it out of the loos as quickly as I could before he got me, I realised I hadn’t put my cock away properly either. Pissed all down my leg. 
 

The bloke came out of the cubicle smelling blood, I swiftly left after (it was about 3:30am) as I thought no girls would fancy a one nighter with a bloke with piss all down his jeans. We’re talking proper significant amounts too, blue jeans. It really was a walk of shame home. 

[Parafox]

4 hours ago, jonthefox said:

That story was my signature a few years back. Sorry @Izzy

Nice to know it's not forgotten. 

[Jattdogg]

6 hours ago, Parafox said:

There's a similar topic from a few years ago. I tried to find it but can't. 

 

It was very amusing. 

 

When I was about 13 I was walking to the bus stop to go into town when a mate's dad stopped at a red light just as I was passing. He waved in greeting but I took this as a sign for a lift. I got in the car and said thanks.

 

He was actually on his way home from work. Fair play to him, he took me into town. Once I'd got in and then realised my error, I was pretty embarrassed.

 

Another time I was about 19. I met a girl and we had a brief relationship. She was up for it one night and I got down to business. As I was doing the deed on her parents living room carpet, I thought "surely this isn't right, she seems really bristly down there". Only afterwards did I realise my member was not where it should have been and was actually between her bum cheeks and the carpet. She never said anything about it but I was mortified.

 

 We didn't continue the relationship. 

 

40-50 years on, these stick in my mind.

Ffs para that is hilarious. Goes to show men will shag anything. I don't feel like a creep anymore, thanks lol.

Edited 13 May 2023 by Jattdogg

[tom27111]

6 minutes ago, Jattdogg said:

Ffs para that is hilarious. Goes to show men will shag anything. I don't feel like a creep anymore, thanks lol.

 

You're still a creep 

[foxfanazer]

5 hours ago, Mee-9 said:

When at uni, me and my mates used to do this ridiculous and disgusting thing when we’d go to the loos, we’d go in the cubicles next door to each other and try and splash each others shoes, pissing under the side wall towards the other. (Yeah we were ****ing disgusting) 

 

We were in the Student Union one night, and me and my mate Rich did this. Well, I thought it was Rich in the cubicle next to me. Starting pissing, then turned 90 degrees to the left in an attempt to splash his shoes, letting the yellow river run free, and all I heard from next door was ‘BRUV WHAT THE **** MY BRAND NEW JORDANS.’ 
 

Turned out my mate had done a runner from the loo, i’d splashed some 6 foot 7 black guys new shoes with my Jagermeister-tinged piss. To make things worse, as I legged it out of the loos as quickly as I could before he got me, I realised I hadn’t put my cock away properly either. Pissed all down my leg. 
 

The bloke came out of the cubicle smelling blood, I swiftly left after (it was about 3:30am) as I thought no girls would fancy a one nighter with a bloke with piss all down his jeans. We’re talking proper significant amounts too, blue jeans. It really was a walk of shame home. 

You was pissing blood too?

[Jattdogg]

1 hour ago, tom27111 said:

 

You're still a creep 

More so then peeing on mates and strangers toes? bloody r kelly-ish behavior

[Tommy G]

My 4 year old pulled up a lady’s skirt in front of us whilst waiting to check in at the airport, proper pulled it up to reveal the lot - I will never forget the leopard skin thong - she was so embarrassed and so were we, she took it well tbf - probably because she had a cracking behind. 

[BeardyFox]

While at uni I ate a curry made with questionable chicken. We had plans to go out the same night so after I ate I started to get ready, during the shower I felt something was off with my stomach but carried on. I was burping and farting out toxic gasses. 
Being a typical student lager goblin I whacked on a shirt, jeans and paco robane and hit the union. 
Whilst stood at the bar I was getting a sweat on and starting to feel a bit nervous. Two pints later I had crippling cramps and even my legs and knees were sweating. Then all of a sudden I had such bad cramps that I had to get to the toilet immediately. I clenched my arse and hurry waddled to the toilet and thankfully one of the cubicles was free. 
I got in there and proceeded to do the worst crap of my life. It was luminous green and I swear it emitted a glow and the smell could peel paint. It was a public health hazard that even Jonathan Van-Tam would shy away from. 
I could hear other blokes in there getting agitated at the smell but more and more people were coming in. 
I just happened to look at the door and notice in horror that I hadn’t pulled the lock all the way across, in a panic knowing that someone would soon try to open the door, I leant forward in a sort of half crouch and stuck out my leg to try and block the door. 
At the same time somebody booted the door and it flung open revealing me to the whole room, crouched with my leg out and covered in sweat with a pathetic look on my face. The kicker was in fancy dress as a Smurf, I don’t know who was most surprised.