The least boring club in English professional football?

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

If we had Linda Block running this club into the ground I wouldn't even care, what a woman she was by the way.

[urban.spaceman]

Just now, Samilktray said:

And how can we forget when Don Barker murdered club legend Karl Fletcher with a clothes peg?

 

We are absolutely overdue either a violent crime in the dressing room or shagging a team mates wife scandal. Can’t rule out someone doing a racism either. 

[RowlattsFox]

Not sure if mentioned but we had the fan run on the pitch and 'attack' Ian Walker

[Aus Fox]

Meanwhile, Everton are the only club in the country that have won nothing this century. Not a promotion, no cups, nothing… we’re a shit show… but imagine being 30 and your club has never won anything in your life time! 

[Samilktray]

2 minutes ago, Miquel The Work Geordie said:

If we had Linda Block running this club into the ground I wouldn't even care, what a woman she was by the way.

Wasting your time pal, where we all these fair weather posters before 2016

[Arriba Los Zorros]

Luton and Bolton and Blackburn and Forest and Sunderland might have a shout but yeah I'd say we are right up there.

Edited 22 April by Arriba Los Zorros

[Stuntman_Mike]

First club to be rewarded a VAR goal in England. 

[sylofox]

1 hour ago, Finnegan said:

Yeah, yeah, you'll never sing that, etc.

 

But in all seriousness, can any club in the country claim to be as eventful as Leicester City to follow? I'm not even talking just about promotions, relegations and title wins - all of which make for a bonkers rollercoaster btw.

 

But there's been promotion despite administration, La Manga, Dennis Wise, Ostrichgate and the unravelling of Nigel Pearson, our owner dying in a helicopter fireball outside the ground, youth players embroiled in a Thai sextape, our years long battle with the Prem and EFL over points deductions, BC Game. Obviously a fair bit of recency bias, there, I'm sure people can think of countless other incidents and headlines we've made for right or wrong.

 

There's just always a story. I mean, for both our bout of administration and our recent battles with various governing bodies over FFP / PSR we've instigated actual rule changes.

 

Obviously the positives, 5000/1, Vardy's 11, winning the FA Cup after losing a record number of finals, MON turning Wembley in to a second home.

 

There's definitely a certain amount of cognitive bias, right? I'm sure every club has it's news that seems huge to itself and doesn't really register with the outside world. Fans of West Ham, Newcastle, Leeds probably all feel like they've had bumpy rides. Sunderland's dramatic fall and rise, Wrexham's hollywood story, the slow and sad collapse of Sheffield Wednesday.

 

But surely no club at the top end of the game has had such stark highs, such stark lows, such YoYoing between the top two flights and such a plethora of maddening and infuriating off-field drama and chaos as we've had? Even pre-dating King Power.

 

I know it's stark consolation after having our worst ever season on record and I don't mean to be sickeningly chipper but christ, the only time it's ever particularly dull is for 90 odd minutes on some Saturdays.

 

I'm not just soap-boxing for rep, by the way, I'm genuinely asking. Can anyone think of a club with a better claim than us?

 

You forgot the 0-9 prem record away win.

 

Also the very slight 14 seconds.

[davieG]

Who was the NF CB who was dropped for the semi play offs

 

[Brizzle Fox]

1 minute ago, davieG said:

Who was the NF CB who was dropped for the semi play offs

 

Wayne Brown

[Brizzle Fox]

Had this exact same conversation with friends before the Bristol City vs Norwich match at the weekend, and the unanimous view was yes we are the least boring team in the land, and there was genuine envy that every season there is something "interesting" happening with us, if not always good.

 

We also agreed that Bristol City are the most boring team in the land. As literally nothing interesting ever happens with them...

[Manley Farrington-Brown]

2 hours ago, Finnegan said:

But in all seriousness, can any club in the country claim to be as eventful as Leicester City to follow?

I doubt it. Imagine if instead of our last 35 years we'd had Everton's, and literally nothing had ever happened. You'd be hoping your club was plunged into financial oblivion just to have something to talk about.

[urban.spaceman]

Decided to predict the next 35 years. 
 

The next 35 years  

2027. League One final day survival. Administration the following day.

2028. Top and Rudkin Seagrave Siege. League One mid table. 14 year old starlet sold to Barcelona for £5.80 and a packet of Quavers. 

2029. Seagrave sold to Centre Parcs. New manager starts to turn things around. EFL Trophy semi finalists. Top comes out of hiding to take credit. He still owns the club.

2030. Relegation to League Two. Top named in BVI Scandal Files and legally forced to sell. New owner is a 19 year old local AI billionaire “I remember watching us win the Premier League as a child, that were nice”. 

2031.  Instant promotion to League One. Citywide celebrations. 300 people turn up.

2032.  Back to back promotion to the Championship. Instant points deduction. Last minute survival.

2033.  Play off semi final brain fart 3 after Luke Thomas concedes last minute own goal against Tottenham after being 4-0 up.

2034.  Play off semi final defeat. Dean Smith returns.

2035.  Jon Rudkin released from prison. Mid table mediocrity.

2036.  More mid table mediocrity. Jon Rudkin memoir released. 

2037.  Jon Rudkin memoir pulped. Dean Smith sacked. Monks take over till the end of the season. FA Cup winners.

2038.  La Manga 3. Mid table. 

2039.  Relegation to League One. 

2040.  Promotion to newly renamed Premier League Two. 

2041.  Relegation to newly renamed Championship League One. 

2042.  Play off final win and promotion to Premier League Two. Manchester City expelled from Premier League after 2008-2018 era exposed. 

2043.  League Cup finalists. 6-0 defeat at Wembley to Man City.

2044.  A typo in the owner’s contract mean he’s forced to hand ownership back to Top. 

2045.  Mayor Peter Soulsby helps Top get back into rehab.

2046.  Season suspended due to WW4 and global Elephant Flu.

2047.  No football under extreme lockdowns.

2048.  Football is allowed to return but our entire first team squad come down with Elephant Flu. Women’s team allowed to play instead - first time in world football.

2049.  Lockdowns finally lifted, King Power forced to sell after Top goes missing in the Kalahari. Mid table but signs of encouragement.

2050.  Relegation to Championship League Two. 

2051.  Jon Rudkin biopic released starring Dean Gaffney and Pegguy Arphexad. Surprise BAFTAs win for sound editing during the orgy scene. Promotion to newly renamed Division 2 (original division 2/Championship/Premier League Two). 

2052.  Back to back promotion to Division One (previously named Premier League)

2053.  Mid table and stable.

2054.  League Cup finalists and humiliating run in Europa Conference League.

2055.  Surprise Bye into the next round of the EFL after non-specific Young Boys scandal.  Defeated in the final by Ipswich Town. 

2056.  Jon Rudkin biopic animated version released. Beats box office records. Leicester relegated to Division Two. 

2057.  Promoted back to the top flight.

2058.  League Cup win. Invited to play in Community Shield ‘for a laugh’. We lose.

2059.  FA Cup finalists. Beaten after UK’s first AI driven ROBOREF misses a clear handball by Brooklyn Beckham’s son.

2060.  Division One top 4. Qualification for newly renamed UEFA2 Champions Trophy

2061.  Division One winners. Football inexplicably ceases to exist. 

[Houdini Logic]

We are the football club equivalent of the hot to crazy matrix

[gazzaa2]

1 hour ago, Izzy said:

Ah yes, that boring year of beating the incredible Man Utd side at OT,  going 4-0 up in 15 minutes away at Derby and finishing top 10 in the premier league.

Please give me that boring year again compared to the current chaos. 

The O'Neill years were great.

 

The downfall started with Rodgers. We should have been able to stabilise as a top half Premier League club, like a Brighton, we had a top half budget. But his ego sent the club on a tailspin.

 

Spurs are suffering a similar decline now. 

[gazzaa2]

2 hours ago, Stadt said:

The worst thing is your emotional response becomes oversaturated and fried, after a while the shocks and disasters aren't shocking anymore. The mismanagement is just standard so it doesn't jolt enough of a reaction from most fans.

 

Probably 200 outside the ground yesterday and a quarter clapped Choudhury and Lascelles' platitudes and empty words. 

Yeah, the club needed a few years of mid table stability after the FA Cup win just to reset and calm everything. Did get a bit unfortunate with the Conference League facing Mourinho's Roma (look at the rubbish Palace have played this year). 

 

The Rodgers relegation year has undone all the good work before it. Everton would be in a similar mess had they gone down instead.

[JonnyZeroFox]

One thing we’ve done when we’ve hit those heights is make it count, we’ve won silverware. I know we’re in League One now, but I’d still take those moments over years of steady mid-table Premier League finishes. Sounds crazy, but trophies stay with you forever.

Edited 22 April by JonnyZeroFox

[sylofox]

51 minutes ago, Brizzle Fox said:

Had this exact same conversation with friends before the Bristol City vs Norwich match at the weekend, and the unanimous view was yes we are the least boring team in the land, and there was genuine envy that every season there is something "interesting" happening with us, if not always good.

 

We also agreed that Bristol City are the most boring team in the land. As literally nothing interesting ever happens with them...

Only bottom of the pile because of Delia's

 

LET'S BE HAVING YOU.

 

 

Shame Top could not be that proud.

 

 

[Foxdiamond]

2 hours ago, Groby_Blue said:

Weren't we the first club to be awarded a goal after a VAR check as well? 

 

Iheanacho in a cup game IIRC. Suppose that's some sort of claim to fame...

 

Yeah it's never dull here and there hasn't been a period of sustained stability in the thirty odd years I've been a supporter, and that's not changing any time soon. 

 

Would we prefer to be an Everton? Just hanging around the PL, never doing anything, just taking part in it every season. Right now, the answer would probably be yes but then looking back over the last ten years, and the years before with the promotions and great escapes, definitely not. 

 

Why can't we just be a competitive PL side that pushes for trophies and Europe every few seasons. Why is that too much to ask?

Seems like we might have sold our soul to the devil when won the League and then the FA Cup and now we are paying the debt. Looking at another spell in the third tier is hard to take. I made a deal in my head that after completing domestic football I wouldn't get so wound up though this calamity is testing that deal. As for the Everton comparison as an old bloke that can remember them as a top side any of their fans under 40 must look wistfully at their history.

[ftfagos]

34 minutes ago, Foxdiamond said:

Seems like we might have sold our soul to the devil when won the League and then the FA Cup and now we are paying the debt. Looking at another spell in the third tier is hard to take. I made a deal in my head that after completing domestic football I wouldn't get so wound up though this calamity is testing that deal. As for the Everton comparison as an old bloke that can remember them as a top side any of their fans under 40 must look wistfully at their history.

Surely we haven’t completed domestic football until we’ve won league two? - perhaps this is what Top has been aiming for.

[Kitchandro]

3 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

The last 35 years:

 

1991. Final day relegation escape. 

1992. Play off final defeat.
1993. Play off final defeat.
1994. Play off final win. Premiership.
1995. Relegation. Division One.
1996. Play off final win. Premiership.
1997. League Cup winners and UEFA Cup tie with insane referee
1998. Relatively boring.
1999. League Cup Final last minute defeat
2000. League Cup Winners and UEFA Cup enthusiasts. Plus La Manga 1
2001. Boring.
2002. Relegation, new stadium and administration. Division One. Dennis Wise violently assaulting a team mate in his sleep.
2003. Promotion and La Manga 2: Electric Boogaloo. Premier League.
2004. Relegation. Championship.
2005. Boring.
2006. Shit.
2007. Boring and shit. Loan player suffers heart attack in changing room. 
2008. Relegation. League One. Uncle Nige.
2009. Promotion. Championship.
2010. Play off semi final brain fart. Paolo. Sven.
2011. Sven. Uncle Nige 2.
2012. Boring.
2013. Play off semi final brain fart 2.
2014. Championship winners.
2015. Great Escape. Thailand orgy.
2016. Premier League winners.
2017. Champions League quarter final.
2018. Owner killed in helicopter crash.
2019. English football record 9-0 away win.
2020. First club with players to get COVID.
2021. FA Cup and Community Shield winners.
2022. Europa Conference League Semi-Final.
2023. Relegation. Championship.
2024. Promotion. Premier League.
2025. Relegation. Championship.
2026. Relegation. Points deduction. League One.

 

Good list, though in boring 2001 we went from 4th to 13th in 2 months 😂
 

It’s also interesting how many things are linked to getting pissed up. The ones we know of:

 

• Biggest ever defeat cos we were hungover

• Don Revie dropped for the cup final for getting smashed 

• Collymore

• Thai Orgy

• I’m assuming most of Rudkin’s transfer business

 

 

We are mental.

[Foxdiamond]

34 minutes ago, ftfagos said:

Surely we haven’t completed domestic football until we’ve won league two? - perhaps this is what Top has been aiming for.

I can live without that particular title

[Foxdiamond]

16 minutes ago, Kitchandro said:

Good list, though in boring 2001 we went from 4th to 13th in 2 months 😂
 

It’s also interesting how many things are linked to getting pissed up. The ones we know of:

 

• Biggest ever defeat cos we were hungover

• Don Revie dropped for the cup final for getting smashed 

• Collymore

• Thai Orgy

• I’m assuming most of Rudkin’s transfer business

 

 

We are mental.

Don Revie missed the 1949 Cup Final due to a dangerous nose hemorrhage. I think you mean Ken Leek being dropped before the 1961 final. Whatever reason Matt Gilles had it still seems a daft decision.

[Phil_Dunphy]

31 minutes ago, Kitchandro said:

Good list, though in boring 2001 we went from 4th to 13th in 2 months 😂
 

And lost to Wycombe in the cup QF to a teletext striker.

[PhillippaT]

11 hours ago, Aus Fox said:

Meanwhile, Everton are the only club in the country that have won nothing this century. Not a promotion, no cups, nothing… we’re a shit show… but imagine being 30 and your club has never won anything in your life time! 

They should really play in beige, shouldn't they?