Mission Unlikely Promotion Posted 15 September 2012 Posted 15 September 2012 I get cramps when im shagging, from trying to stop myself from farting . . . . . . . . . . . .
David Guiza Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 As a distraction from the pain and anxiety of the final few games of the season, I thought I'd start a thread about the most gruesome and or painful injuries that posters have ever suffered. Mine would have to be getting my middle finger trapped on the blade of an electric hedge trimmer. Supposed to hold on to it with both hands (obviously), but being a 21 year old male at the time I was too busy for that, and decided to tackle the hedge with one. Whilst admiring my fine work I lowered the trimmer straight onto my finger. Took me about 10 minutes to pull my finger off the blade, before narrowly avoiding passing out, thanks to the work of some strangers taking me inside to sit down and drink. Spent around about 6/7 hours down A&E and later returned to have it stitched up, only downside is that the top of that finger is now pretty much square. I asumme people can more than top that, but that's mine.
Larry_LCFC Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 I once smashed my shin bone to pieces whilst in a dodgem car Got hit from the front and somehow managed to clatter my leg against the middle metal steering column. Never felt pain like it. Felt like it was almost burning under the skin. Makes me sweat just thinking about it.
Beliall Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 shot in the leg wit ha modified air rifle. great shot though
bovril Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Oohya date that first one is nasty. Touch wood the worst I've ever experienced is a very badly bruised rib cage sliding down a mountain into rocks and gorse. I actually maneuvered my way into them to stop me sliding another 50 feet. In the words of Michael Burke - "it could've been a lot worse".
StanSP Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Can't top that but 6 weeks after recovering from rolling on my ankle playing football and straining those ligaments, I was playing rugby in school in the wet and cold and muddy conditions. Had the ball and dodged a tackle, straight after that I was tackled from the side and my studs got stuck in the ground. So my knee went one way and bottom half of my leg didn't really want to follow . So then knee ligaments were gone, grade 2 partial medial ligament tear. Then for next 3-4 weeks had a golf-sized lump on the side of my knee. Ended up being in A&E for about 3-4 hours including X-Ray times. Pretty sure that was the worst injury I had. My parents might think differently when I had a neck injury playing rugby and getting taken to hospital in a neck-brace. That was in Oxford on a Saturday late afternoon/evening so I don't envy their drive from home to that hospital not knowing how badly their son's neck injury was! Luckily, not that bad but teachers/paramedics didn't want to take any risks until I got to hospital and was checked over.
Fox92 Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Hard fall when I was younger, head went right into the concrete and it knocked my front two teeth out. Had to have four of them (think it was four) taken out at hospital. Not that gruesome tbf but I went many years at school without any front teeth.
Darkon84 Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 None of mine are particularly gruesome, but I've got a history of injuries. Broken ribs, I escaped with just a few cuts and bruises from falling 18ft down an abandoned water mill, Hospital for 4 days and surgery after getting blood poisoning from dirty Thames water, which was then made worse by the LRI giving me the antibiotics I told them I was allergic to. Oh, and that was after I got told by a local GP to take some antibiotics and come back in 3 days, despite tracking all the way up my arm....The hospital doctors said I would have died by then Studded so badly in my left calve that is just made a complete, stud deep, perfectly circular stud hole in the muscle. It pi$$ed with blood for ages, and had fat/muscle hanging out of it. It never recovered fully and you can still feel a slight dip when you run your finger over the scar haha. Those are just a couple, never mind the numerous ligament tears, groin tear, broken toes, also I was in and out of hospital/surgery for around 4 years with Chronic Osteomyelitis at one point too haha. I'm lucky to still in one piece to be honest!
Benguin Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Nipple cripple of my ex bird! I've had things happen to me that posters would find far more gruesome than that but unfortunately most people have one part of their body that ruins them (not sexually) and that is mine. Braking my arm in three places was a walk in the park compared to that.
Crinklyfox Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Not especially painful but most horrible injury I had was falling from a wall and smashing my thigh as a child (the reason it wasn't painful is that I destroyed the nerves in the fall as well). I was in hospital with my whole leg from the top of the thigh down in plaster and elevated for five weeks, in plaster for several more months after release and my leg was then put in a brace for over a year. The muscles wasted and when they took it off I had to learn to walk again. Made a 100% recovery though, thanks to the surgeon and team at the Royal.
Nod.E Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Tripped and fell at school and naturally stuck my arms straight ahead to break my fall. The impact was so hard that my elbow dislocated. In other words, my forearm carried on going upwards and my upper arm stayed where it was. Will never forget the hour after it happened. Being wheelchaired to medical, then my Mum taking me to hospital; her hurried attempt at getting me there only intensifying the pain as she sped over speed bumps - you'd be amazed how much you move your elbow in day-to-day life without realising it! Happened at 1PM and didn't get operated on 'til gone 8. Not ashamed to say the majority of those 7 hours were spent screaming like a little girl. Never felt pain like it and never want to ever again. I've heard one woman describing the pain as worse than child birth.The only way I can explain it is sort of like when you hit your funny bone but 1000 worse and seemingly never ending. To this day I can't touch my shoulder with my arm by my side, and it over-extends, which makes for a great prank! The downside is that I suffer from tendinitis and will inevitably suffer from arthritis as I age.
city187 Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Sat on a light bulb. Somone put it on my chair as a joke. Energy saver aswell, made a right mess, terds looked like they had been dragged through a bottle bank for days.
SystonFox Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Mentioned it loads in various topics here but I've had three ACL injuries. Two in my left knee, one in my right. 2009, 2013, 2014. The second one was the worst pain as that was full rupture of the left ligament. Upon returning to fitness I strained them further in 2014 but 2013 took the biscuit. I felt instantly sick, I bit my hand so hard I broke the skin to stop myself screaming more. Just been for a gentle two mile run and my knee ached round that so it's clearly still not right almost a year on. Although I did do 90 mins in between sticks yesterday morning
sphericalfox Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 Sat on a light bulb. Somone put it on my chair as a joke. Energy saver aswell, made a right mess, terds looked like they had been dragged through a bottle bank for days. The aul 'I sat on a lightbulb' is very similar to 'I was resting on the broomstick to change the curtains' emergency department excuse.
NewburyFox Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 The aul 'I sat on a lightbulb' is very similar to 'I was resting on the broomstick to change the curtains' emergency department excuse. Reminds me of this
pSinatra Posted 27 April 2015 Posted 27 April 2015 As a distraction from the pain and anxiety of the final few games of the season, I thought I'd start a thread about the most gruesome and or painful injuries that posters have ever suffered. Mine would have to be getting my middle finger trapped on the blade of an electric hedge trimmer. Supposed to hold on to it with both hands (obviously), but being a 21 year old male at the time I was too busy for that, and decided to tackle the hedge with one. Whilst admiring my fine work I lowered the trimmer straight onto my finger. Took me about 10 minutes to pull my finger off the blade, before narrowly avoiding passing out, thanks to the work of some strangers taking me inside to sit down and drink. Spent around about 6/7 hours down A&E and later returned to have it stitched up, only downside is that the top of that finger is now pretty much square. I asumme people can more than top that, but that's mine. I've caught my forefinger in some hedgecutters before. Not your average Black & Deckers but powerful petrol ones that can cut through branches as thick as a finger, no sweat. Luckily, I had taken my finger of the power but the blades were still slowly coming to a stop. It didn't take 10 minutes, but it must have taken about a minute before I dared look down. I was sure I was going to see my finger sitting on the floor staring back up at me. Finger still attached, but 8 stitches needed. Taken many a chunk out of my knees & thighs with hedge cutters.
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