Depression

[Wymsey]

11 minutes ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Know I’ve said it a few times recently but Christ am I struggling, trying to take it a day at a time but it’s excruciating.

What are your current stressors, may I ask?

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

Just miss my family and can’t stand the fact I’m a 37 yo man back in a spare room at his mothers house, regressed like 8 years all of a sudden with no realistic way out of my current scenario for the next long while, just the idea of building myself up from where I am is over whelming, it’s awful.

[Wymsey]

Hope 2025 is a better one for those on here who, for different reasons, have been in unfortunate personal and/or family circumstances.

[STEVIE B]

On 29/12/2024 at 23:02, foxfanazer said:

Really struggling at the moment. I've done my back in and can't go to work but the resting up is driving me insane.

 

Add to that I've got myself into some debt which I've kept a secret from my partner but won't be able to hide that for much longer. Struggling to see a way out 

Sorry about your situation. 

I'm sure telling your partner is the best option. l often get anxious about certain scenarios, but that's me building a situation to be worse than it actually is.

It's an old saying......A problem shared, is a problem halved. 

 

[foxfanazer]

15 minutes ago, STEVIE B said:

Sorry about your situation. 

I'm sure telling your partner is the best option. l often get anxious about certain scenarios, but that's me building a situation to be worse than it actually is.

It's an old saying......A problem shared, is a problem halved. 

 

Thanks mate. She'll be absolutely fine about it as well but it's just a pride thing 

[urban.spaceman]

A really batshit end to the year for me. I literally couldn't predict what was going to go wrong next. I had my grad show back in October which went SO well it's like the universe is trying to course correct. My doctors let me down the day after on helping with a long term health issue and I was so angry that after being with them for nearly 40 years I have finally switched to a different surgery. Goldsmiths let me (and everyone on the course) down, I've been fighting them via academic appeals for the last 3 months and I've now made a formal complaint to them and I'll elevate it to the OIA when I get their inevitable disappointing response.

 

Then my employer let me down about 4 times in 3 months by either forgetting that we'd agreed I would work on specific weekends twice, and then just completely forgetting to pay me twice. For the whole of November and December I was literally housebound because I couldn't afford to go anywhere or do anything, which didn't matter much cos I was also suffering from the worst back pain I've had for over a decade. I then got a speeding fine (£100 and 3 points or £91 for a course) for the first time in 20 years of driving (well, first in the UK), and my third ever parking fine, ****ing my finances even more. I finally got paid on the 23rd so I've got a tiny bit of stability for the next month or so.

 

My brain usually tries to hibernate itself around December but it feels like I've been in 'hibernation' for a good 3 months or so. With everything going to shit I've had to protect my mental wellbeing quite rigorously. It's been horrible but I'm starting to break free of what's been weighing me down in 2024 and trying to plan out establishing a proper career in the coming months.

 

Wishing you all a happy new year, I hope 2025 brings you some joy.

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

Struggling more and more every day, it’s absolutely grim, unbearable.

[CWC1983]

8 minutes ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Struggling more and more every day, it’s absolutely grim, unbearable.

From personal experience, it will get better. I had to move back home for a year to rebuild after a break up. 

 

This time of the year is terrible if you are feeling down, but the days are getting longer bit by bit. 

 

Long walks with headphones in listening to music / podcasts helped me, fresh air in the lungs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Lionator]

26 minutes ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Struggling more and more every day, it’s absolutely grim, unbearable.

I’m so sorry 😔

 

it’s not for everyone but I always like going back to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. When something goes wrong, we kinda fall down the pyramid. It sounds like you’ve got the basic needs of living (somewhere to live, meals etc) but everything else is lacking. No wonder you feel miserable, it’s ok! But in time you’ll rebuild and get back to where you were. Reach out to friends/family to rebuild those connections. When you’re feeling more up to it and ready, explore new interests, meet new people. Its a process you’re going through at the minute, it might feel like a mountain to climb but you’ll soon make progress. 

[urban.spaceman]

1 hour ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Struggling more and more every day, it’s absolutely grim, unbearable.

Is there a way to break this awful depressive cycle you’re in? What do you love doing that maybe you haven’t done for a while? Self care is so important when you’re struggling. 

[Wymsey]

Admittedly, had a tough few days since the weekend (partner's Grandmother passed away yesterday); with the partner requesting for space, so is at their parents for a week.

 

Haven't been in this situation before, it just feels a bit strange.

 

This adds to the current unemployment situation.

 

Am sure there'll be light at the end of the tunnel at some point.

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 hour ago, Wymsey said:

Admittedly, had a tough few days since the weekend (partner's Grandmother passed away yesterday); with the partner requesting for space, so is at their parents for a week.

 

Haven't been in this situation before, it just feels a bit strange.

 

This adds to the current unemployment situation.

 

Am sure there'll be light at the end of the tunnel at some point.

Just be supportive, she'll be back.

[Sampson]

I’ve also been really struggling the past few days. This time of year is always so brutal. Just trying to put one foot in front of the other each day knowing the Spring will eventually come.

[Trav Le Bleu]

13 minutes ago, Sampson said:

I’ve also been really struggling the past few days. This time of year is always so brutal. Just trying to put one foot in front of the other each day knowing the Spring will eventually come.

Me too, and no real reason to either.

 

I think it's a combination of not getting out in sun (or even fair weather), life in general getting almost put on hold during the festivities and nothing immediate to look forward to (not even a City win!)

 

I always crash this time of year after the mad rush of work for Christmas, then a couple of days lull before the January sales madness kicks in and it's back under the cosh again for 2-3 more weeks. Physically I'm absolutely finished.

[chrishlcfc]

Still can’t feel like I can change anything. How do I change. Only I can change myself and I can’t seem too. It’s heartbreaking. Just go round in circles of depression 24/7. 

[spacemunky]

4 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Still can’t feel like I can change anything. How do I change. Only I can change myself and I can’t seem too. It’s heartbreaking. Just go round in circles of depression 24/7. 

A lot of it is about acceptance and realizing that there's only so much that you can control.

 

Anything that you can find for yourself that helps you in a positive way is good.

 

It's a constant battle. Small steps.

[syston_fox]

I'm struggling with things this time of year too. 

 

The build up to Christmas means that the day itself always feels like a let down. Then the lull between Christmas and New Year and I realise all the things I've not done that should have and then January starts and work ramps up to being really busy. My job is very stressful but because of being high up, you can't let it show to the team and have to carry the weight around on your shoulders and fight on each day. Feels like it's crushing me and been awake most of the night feeling suffocated by it. No one that can really support or share the burden with as in reality, I'm putting all that pressure on myself because of who I am. Hate the feeling of letting people down. 

 

My wife is really unhappy in her job and looking to change but nothing coming up so she's always miserable and not sleeping. Means shes then too tired to do anything at the weekend so they just get wasted.... Which makes me feel worse come Monday morning. 

 

The kids are growing up too quickly and I'm beating myself up at the fact that they're spending so much time on their phone or playstation because I'm working or then too tired after work to find the energy to do anything other than walk the dog.

 

Time is just going so quickly and I can't switch off at all from my own head and negative thoughts. I was on some anti depressants last year but came off them (stupidly) because i forgot to get the next prescription, and was always "i'll sort it tomorrow if I have time". My own stupid fault as then felt ok without them and never did get more. I think I need to get back to trying then again though. 

 

My biggest issue is that I know what the problem is. It's me and my own head. It's so negative and expects / fears the worst that it's sapped all feeling joy or excitement from me. Everything is geared up for disappointment. Genuinely can't remember the last time that I felt happy or content other than a few short sharp shots of joy like when Leicester score etc. 

 

Probably a complete ramble above but felt like I just needed to blurt out stuff. 

[Daggers]

Tiny steps.

 

Really tiny steps.

 

Micro celebrations.

 

You can't get off the couch and instantly run a 5K.

[HybridFox]

NHS op cancelled for a third time. Have to take a month off work in recovery and keep running around making arrangements only to be told at the last min that an emergency patient needs to be seen.

 

This is after being on the waiting list for nearly 2 years without a peep! Only to recieve an appointment letter in the post which they haven't yet adhered to. All the time wasted going for pre op appointments as well which I will have to no doubt do again once they find another date.

 

Restricted to what I can do at work before I need to take time off. Can't travel away in case I get called in. If I fall ill, I'm scuppered anyway as they can't operate. I can't be left alone in the first day of recovery so even my family have to be around.

 

How are am I meant to plan my life?!

Edited 10 January by HybridFox

[Crinklyfox]

18 hours ago, HybridFox said:

NHS op cancelled for a third time. Have to take a month off work in recovery and keep running around making arrangements only to be told at the last min that an emergency patient needs to be seen.

 

This is after being on the waiting list for nearly 2 years without a peep! Only to recieve an appointment letter in the post which they haven't yet adhered to. All the time wasted going for pre op appointments as well which I will have to no doubt do again once they find another date.

 

Restricted to what I can do at work before I need to take time off. Can't travel away in case I get called in. If I fall ill, I'm scuppered anyway as they can't operate. I can't be left alone in the first day of recovery so even my family have to be around.

 

How are am I meant to plan my life?!

In 2023 I had the experience of having my procedure cancelled on the day because the anaesthetist hadn't turned up and they couldn't find another one.  After the event I did a bit of research and found that if the NHS cancels a procedure (not if you do or don't turn up) they should offer you another appointment for a procedure within 28 days of the cancelled one.  I don't know if that still applies, you may want to check it out.  I did get my procedure second time around, just within the 28 days albeit only just as the anaesthetist didn't turn up again but they found another one after several hours.

 

I can empathise with you, it's stressful enough waiting for an op but even worse if you get messed around.  I hope your op gets sorted soon.

[Parafox]

6 hours ago, Crinklyfox said:

In 2023 I had the experience of having my procedure cancelled on the day because the anaesthetist hadn't turned up and they couldn't find another one.  After the event I did a bit of research and found that if the NHS cancels a procedure (not if you do or don't turn up) they should offer you another appointment for a procedure within 28 days of the cancelled one.  I don't know if that still applies, you may want to check it out.  I did get my procedure second time around, just within the 28 days albeit only just as the anaesthetist didn't turn up again but they found another one after several hours.

 

I can empathise with you, it's stressful enough waiting for an op but even worse if you get messed around.  I hope your op gets sorted soon.

 

Anaesthetist no turning up twice?

 

Was he gassed up?

[Wymsey]

Had a very distressing couple of weeks; but suppose that one has to carry on and get on with life the best they can - no matter what's being thrown at you.

[Parafox]

17 minutes ago, Wymsey said:

Had a very distressing couple of weeks; but suppose that one has to carry on and get on with life the best they can - no matter what's being thrown at you.

 

Sorry to hear that. And you're right about carrying on with life. Like it or not it goes own outside of our own lives and the feeling that no-one else we pass in the street knows our worries, grief, or distress and anxiety or all the other negative emotions we're going through, yet we think they should, is a peculiar feeling.

[FoxesDeb]

44 minutes ago, Wymsey said:

Had a very distressing couple of weeks; but suppose that one has to carry on and get on with life the best they can - no matter what's being thrown at you.

We do need to carry on, but there's no shame in admitting it's hard sometimes, and that we might need help getting through it. I hope things get better for you, and I hope you know we are here for you if you want to talk about it. 

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, Wymsey said:

Had a very distressing couple of weeks; but suppose that one has to carry on and get on with life the best they can - no matter what's being thrown at you.

Sorry to hear that mate. You're welcome to DM if you want.