Depression

[chrishlcfc]

Missed my maths course for the 1st time today. Just couldn’t face going in. I hate myself so much. However much I try, I go back round to hating myself again. Nothing about me that I like.

[Izzy]

16 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Missed my maths course for the 1st time today. Just couldn’t face going in. I hate myself so much. However much I try, I go back round to hating myself again. Nothing about me that I like.

My therapist told me back in the day that I can't expect anyone else to like/love/respect me, if I don't like/love/respect myself first.

 

But before I could do any of that, I had to forgive myself - and that was the tough bit.

 

I'd carried around years of guilt for things I'd done thinking they were all my fault. But through therapy, I realized other factors were at play and then eventually I forgave myself and then things changed.

 

I accepted who am I was (with all my flaws) but also started to recognise my strengths and positive traits. It took a while with plenty of positive affirmation but eventually I started to respect myself more.

 

And once I started to respect myself, I started to like myself a bit more. And then I noticed that people started to like me back.

 

And then I felt better.

[chrishlcfc]

29 minutes ago, Izzy said:

My therapist told me back in the day that I can't expect anyone else to like/love/respect me, if I don't like/love/respect myself first.

 

But before I could do any of that, I had to forgive myself - and that was the tough bit.

 

I'd carried around years of guilt for things I'd done thinking they were all my fault. But through therapy, I realized other factors were at play and then eventually I forgave myself and then things changed.

 

I accepted who am I was (with all my flaws) but also started to recognise my strengths and positive traits. It took a while with plenty of positive affirmation but eventually I started to respect myself more.

 

And once I started to respect myself, I started to like myself a bit more. And then I noticed that people started to like me back.

 

And then I felt better.

Yep. I’m in the exact situation, I know I have to learn to love/like myself or else why should people be the same to me. I just really really struggle with it and have my whole life. 
 

Sure it will be the same for me that I need to recognise things I’ve done in the past and acknowledge them. Just don’t know if I can, I’ve been trying for years and failed and failed and I just feel like giving up

[ajthefox]

58 minutes ago, chrishlcfc said:

Missed my maths course for the 1st time today. Just couldn’t face going in. I hate myself so much. However much I try, I go back round to hating myself again. Nothing about me that I like.

Tomorrow is a new day, Chris.

 

Make up for it as best you can next time you go in and try not to beat yourself up about a day you've missed.

[HighPeakFox]

1 hour ago, Izzy said:

My therapist told me back in the day that I can't expect anyone else to like/love/respect me, if I don't like/love/respect myself first.

 

But before I could do any of that, I had to forgive myself - and that was the tough bit.

 

I'd carried around years of guilt for things I'd done thinking they were all my fault. But through therapy, I realized other factors were at play and then eventually I forgave myself and then things changed.

 

I accepted who am I was (with all my flaws) but also started to recognise my strengths and positive traits. It took a while with plenty of positive affirmation but eventually I started to respect myself more.

 

And once I started to respect myself, I started to like myself a bit more. And then I noticed that people started to like me back.

 

And then I felt better.

I second this. Forgiving is so important. 

[Fosse93]

After years and years of bottling everything up, thinking I'm 'over it', I've finally broken. I'm getting quite severe physical symptoms due to my stress / anxiety. Went to my GP yesterday who prescribed sertraline and offered to sign me off work for a little while, I took up his offer on the sertraline however declined the time off work.

 

Woke up today and had a massive panic attack, and now I've booked back in with my GP tomorrow - going to bite the bullet and take some time off work. Should've done it years ago.

 

A long road ahead I imagine, and I'm not sure how my company will cope without me (not wanting to sound big headed!) as I'm quite central to a lot of what goes on, though I guess one of the issues that got me here was lack of support at work - so no point worrying about that.

 

I'm sure I've asked this previously, on this exact thread a few years ago when I was toying with the idea of taking time off - but has anyone ever done this and gone back to their current place of employment? If so how did that work out? Typical that I'm worrying about going back already!!

[Trav Le Bleu]

5 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

After years and years of bottling everything up, thinking I'm 'over it', I've finally broken. I'm getting quite severe physical symptoms due to my stress / anxiety. Went to my GP yesterday who prescribed sertraline and offered to sign me off work for a little while, I took up his offer on the sertraline however declined the time off work.

 

Woke up today and had a massive panic attack, and now I've booked back in with my GP tomorrow - going to bite the bullet and take some time off work. Should've done it years ago.

 

A long road ahead I imagine, and I'm not sure how my company will cope without me (not wanting to sound big headed!) as I'm quite central to a lot of what goes on, though I guess one of the issues that got me here was lack of support at work - so no point worrying about that.

 

I'm sure I've asked this previously, on this exact thread a few years ago when I was toying with the idea of taking time off - but has anyone ever done this and gone back to their current place of employment? If so how did that work out? Typical that I'm worrying about going back already!!

Me.

 

Work is a major stress factor in anyone's life. If you're central to work, when you get back, maybe they'll appreciate you more.

 

Take some time to reconnect with life, get some nature (highly recommended), sleep until you wake (as opposed to when the alarm goes off), get a hobby, or spend some time doing a hobby you already love.

 

Hope all goes well - take it easy.

 

Oh, and don't watch the football

[Thefox81]

6 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

After years and years of bottling everything up, thinking I'm 'over it', I've finally broken. I'm getting quite severe physical symptoms due to my stress / anxiety. Went to my GP yesterday who prescribed sertraline and offered to sign me off work for a little while, I took up his offer on the sertraline however declined the time off work.

 

Woke up today and had a massive panic attack, and now I've booked back in with my GP tomorrow - going to bite the bullet and take some time off work. Should've done it years ago.

 

A long road ahead I imagine, and I'm not sure how my company will cope without me (not wanting to sound big headed!) as I'm quite central to a lot of what goes on, though I guess one of the issues that got me here was lack of support at work - so no point worrying about that.

 

I'm sure I've asked this previously, on this exact thread a few years ago when I was toying with the idea of taking time off - but has anyone ever done this and gone back to their current place of employment? If so how did that work out? Typical that I'm worrying about going back already!!

Ive been there mate. I have returned to work in a highly important role in our company so i can relate to you in everything you say. I also take sertraline but i am coming of it gradually with help from my doc. Im going to DM you my number so if you feel you need to talk then you can if you want. 

[Fosse93]

12 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Me.

 

Work is a major stress factor in anyone's life. If you're central to work, when you get back, maybe they'll appreciate you more.

 

Take some time to reconnect with life, get some nature (highly recommended), sleep until you wake (as opposed to when the alarm goes off), get a hobby, or spend some time doing a hobby you already love.

 

Hope all goes well - take it easy.

 

Oh, and don't watch the football

I never thought about the fact they may appreciate me a little more whilst away. To be fair I can’t even have a weeks holiday without getting calls / messages so you’re probably right!

 

Thanks for the advice - appreciate it. 

[Fosse93]

11 hours ago, Thefox81 said:

Ive been there mate. I have returned to work in a highly important role in our company so i can relate to you in everything you say. I also take sertraline but i am coming of it gradually with help from my doc. Im going to DM you my number so if you feel you need to talk then you can if you want. 

Thanks so much mate - good to know there’s people who’ve been in a similar boat before.

 

I sent an email to my manager last night explaining the situation and that I’m going to visit my GP and ask to be signed off, but no response as of yet. I’m hoping it doesn’t go against my future career prospects but health comes first, I guess.

[FoxesDeb]

On 09/04/2025 at 16:04, Fosse93 said:

After years and years of bottling everything up, thinking I'm 'over it', I've finally broken. I'm getting quite severe physical symptoms due to my stress / anxiety. Went to my GP yesterday who prescribed sertraline and offered to sign me off work for a little while, I took up his offer on the sertraline however declined the time off work.

 

Woke up today and had a massive panic attack, and now I've booked back in with my GP tomorrow - going to bite the bullet and take some time off work. Should've done it years ago.

 

A long road ahead I imagine, and I'm not sure how my company will cope without me (not wanting to sound big headed!) as I'm quite central to a lot of what goes on, though I guess one of the issues that got me here was lack of support at work - so no point worrying about that.

 

I'm sure I've asked this previously, on this exact thread a few years ago when I was toying with the idea of taking time off - but has anyone ever done this and gone back to their current place of employment? If so how did that work out? Typical that I'm worrying about going back already!!

I've taken time off with depression and returned to the same workplace. 

 

The thought of returning was far, far worse than the actual return, it was fine and people were very understanding and just pleased to see me back.

 

Without wishing to downplay your achievements in your role we are all dispensable as employees, so do not fret about how they will cope, they will, and anyway it's their problem not yours. Your priority is to get well so focus on that, sending you lots of good wishes, and don't forget we are all here ready to listen if you need.

[sdb]

On 10/03/2025 at 23:47, foxfanazer said:

I don't feel like I'll ever be able to deal with the monotony of everyday life. Genuinely jealous of people who are excited to get up in the morning .And it makes me feel guilty as I have a wonderful partner and two beautiful kids who I love tremendously. We're not particularly well off but we get by and have the occasional holidays. Works stressful and boring at the same time 

 

I even feel guilty for posting this as I read some of the things you lot are going through and in reality nothings wrong with my life. I'm not manically depressed or even particularly sad, just feel a bit numb and exhausted by life

 

 

This sounds a lot like me. I don't have any answers. I left my family thinking it'd fix some of the problems you mention. But it hasn't. I'm just as lost and bored, but now lonely too. If that maybe helps a bit?!

[foxfanazer]

28 minutes ago, sdb said:

This sounds a lot like me. I don't have any answers. I left my family thinking it'd fix some of the problems you mention. But it hasn't. I'm just as lost and bored, but now lonely too. If that maybe helps a bit?!

I'm sorry to hear that mate. It really is such a cruel illness

[ajthefox]

On 09/04/2025 at 15:04, Fosse93 said:

After years and years of bottling everything up, thinking I'm 'over it', I've finally broken. I'm getting quite severe physical symptoms due to my stress / anxiety. Went to my GP yesterday who prescribed sertraline and offered to sign me off work for a little while, I took up his offer on the sertraline however declined the time off work.

 

Woke up today and had a massive panic attack, and now I've booked back in with my GP tomorrow - going to bite the bullet and take some time off work. Should've done it years ago.

 

A long road ahead I imagine, and I'm not sure how my company will cope without me (not wanting to sound big headed!) as I'm quite central to a lot of what goes on, though I guess one of the issues that got me here was lack of support at work - so no point worrying about that.

 

I'm sure I've asked this previously, on this exact thread a few years ago when I was toying with the idea of taking time off - but has anyone ever done this and gone back to their current place of employment? If so how did that work out? Typical that I'm worrying about going back already!!

I had a month off in 2019.

 

It was one of the best months of my life having just hit rock bottom and then turning it around with a lot of support. First and foremost I think it was the acknowledgement and validation of what I was feeling that gave me a foundation to move forward.

 

My work weren't very good at lots of things but it was all fine. I got in touch with them and they gave me their blessing to attend an interview elsewhere a few days before my planned return. They didn't have to but I still remember being worked up making that call, and crying tears of relief when I got off the phone with them. 

 

I hope things pick up for you.

[kushiro]

This guy is so articulate, talking about mental health:

 

 

[ian__marshall]

7 hours ago, FoxesDeb said:

I've taken time off with depression and returned to the same workplace. 

 

The thought of returning was far, far worse than the actual return, it was fine and people were very understanding and just pleased to see me back.

 

Without wishing to downplay your achievements in your role we are all dispensable as employees, so do not fret about how they will cope, they will, and anyway it's their problem not yours. Your priority is to get well so focus on that, sending you lots of good wishes, and don't forget we are all here ready to listen if you need.

Agree with this 100%.

 

I'm in a similar boat where I put a lot of pressure on myself as I'm one of the few people in my industry nationally let alone my company who has the knowledge and expertise that I have. In my mind I'm petrified at the thought of how the business would cope if I wasn't around. The reality however is that they'd find some other mug to fill my boots if ever a time came when I wasn't. Someone else may not be as good but so long as the wheels keep turning no one really cares. As the old saying goes 'The show must go on'. 

 

I find in most instances others take your willingness to support for granted, and whilst you may be an expert in a particular area, they often develop an over reliance on you. Not sure if it's cultural, laziness, or simply human nature, but people seem to lack personal accountability in the UK and if they have the option to palm off responsibility under the guise of not having the capability they take it. When that comfort blanket no longer exists, it's amazing how suddenly those same people immediately develop said skills/discover what they can do. 

 

My advice @Fosse93, is if you need to take time out, you have to take it. If the boot was in the other foot the business would prioritise it's own interests ahead of its employees so don't worry about the impact. 

[Newbold Blue]

Hi all,

 

Has anyone ever been prescribed Venlafaxine?

 

I have been suffering with mental health for about 8/9 years now, and have been on velafaxine for around 3 of these as the other meds didn't touch the sides or help whatsoever.

 

Tried taking my own life twice and although my life isn't all rosey (well, whos is?) I would love to come off the meds one day.

 

I know when I haven't taken my dose though as I get what they call "brain zaps" around midday which are vile to say the least.

Has anyone ever been on these for a while then come off of them? If so how did it go?

 

I haven't posted much on here before but slowly posting more, just know I am always available to talk to anyone about anything if it helps! No problem is too big or too small - if they are affecting you and you need someone to talk to get in touch.

 

Cheers for reading - hate doing things like this but need to practice what I preach I guess and the FT forum seems a welcoming one from what I've seen!

[Trav Le Bleu]

57 minutes ago, Newbold Blue said:

Hi all,

 

Has anyone ever been prescribed Venlafaxine?

 

I have been suffering with mental health for about 8/9 years now, and have been on velafaxine for around 3 of these as the other meds didn't touch the sides or help whatsoever.

 

Tried taking my own life twice and although my life isn't all rosey (well, whos is?) I would love to come off the meds one day.

 

I know when I haven't taken my dose though as I get what they call "brain zaps" around midday which are vile to say the least.

Has anyone ever been on these for a while then come off of them? If so how did it go?

 

I haven't posted much on here before but slowly posting more, just know I am always available to talk to anyone about anything if it helps! No problem is too big or too small - if they are affecting you and you need someone to talk to get in touch.

 

Cheers for reading - hate doing things like this but need to practice what I preach I guess and the FT forum seems a welcoming one from what I've seen!

Sharing is caring mate!

 

When you support LCFC you've got to be positive about SOMETHING!

 

Hope it works out with the meds and life gets a bit more stable for you - outside of supporting Leicester that is, cos that ain't gonna happen.

Edited 14 April by Trav Le Bleu

[spacemunky]

1 hour ago, Newbold Blue said:

Has anyone ever been prescribed Venlafaxine?

 

Has anyone ever been on these for a while then come off of them? If so how did it go?

 

I was prescribed Venlafaxin(aka Effexor) after seeing my doctor about issues I was having at work and in my life in general.

 

At first it really helped and my co-workers commented on how much better I seemed to be doing.

 

I think the problem was/is that when things go bad, which they can do meds or not, I go back to drinking and I wouldn't always take the meds.

 

I, like a lot of people, hated the side effects of Venlafaxin and I went off them completely a few years ago.

 

I can't say I recommend that route. 

 

 

[FoxesDeb]

On 14/04/2025 at 17:05, Newbold Blue said:

Hi all,

 

Has anyone ever been prescribed Venlafaxine?

 

I have been suffering with mental health for about 8/9 years now, and have been on velafaxine for around 3 of these as the other meds didn't touch the sides or help whatsoever.

 

Tried taking my own life twice and although my life isn't all rosey (well, whos is?) I would love to come off the meds one day.

 

I know when I haven't taken my dose though as I get what they call "brain zaps" around midday which are vile to say the least.

Has anyone ever been on these for a while then come off of them? If so how did it go?

 

I haven't posted much on here before but slowly posting more, just know I am always available to talk to anyone about anything if it helps! No problem is too big or too small - if they are affecting you and you need someone to talk to get in touch.

 

Cheers for reading - hate doing things like this but need to practice what I preach I guess and the FT forum seems a welcoming one from what I've seen!

For reasons I'm not going to elaborate on, although it's well documented in this thread, I can only implore you to reconsider taking your own life.

 

The implications of this are far, far more further reaching than you can ever imagine. 

 

However if you truly feel it to be your only way out please, please reach out to someone, anyone. The Samaritans are always there to listen on 116 123, but we are here too. Pick anyone on this thread and I'm sure you'll find us happy to listen.

 

Please. 

[Newbold Blue]

On 14/04/2025 at 17:02, Trav Le Bleu said:

Sharing is caring mate!

 

When you support LCFC you've got to be positive about SOMETHING!

 

Hope it works out with the meds and life gets a bit more stable for you - outside of supporting Leicester that is, cos that ain't gonna happen.

Ha, that's true. Hopefully a bit more optimism on the football side next season - can't get much worse can it! Thanks for the message.

On 14/04/2025 at 17:30, spacemunky said:

I was prescribed Venlafaxin(aka Effexor) after seeing my doctor about issues I was having at work and in my life in general.

 

At first it really helped and my co-workers commented on how much better I seemed to be doing.

 

I think the problem was/is that when things go bad, which they can do meds or not, I go back to drinking and I wouldn't always take the meds.

 

I, like a lot of people, hated the side effects of Venlafaxin and I went off them completely a few years ago.

 

I can't say I recommend that route. 

 

 

Yeah that is the reaction I got - everyone after a couple of weeks of it being in my system could see a big change - I just find the side affects of not taking them really uncomfortable but fear I have been on them for too long now to consider dropping them, especially 150mg a day. Will have to have a word with the GP I think. Thanks a lot for the message.

13 hours ago, FoxesDeb said:

For reasons I'm not going to elaborate on, although it's well documented in this thread, I can only implore you to reconsider taking your own life.

 

The implications of this are far, far more further reaching than you can ever imagine. 

 

However if you truly feel it to be your only way out please, please reach out to someone, anyone. The Samaritans are always there to listen on 116 123, but we are here too. Pick anyone on this thread and I'm sure you'll find us happy to listen.

 

Please. 

Wouldn't ever stoop as low as that now - I have a 15 month old daughter who is my life and soul and wouldn't do it to her. I don't have any family which makes it tough and makes me think nobody would miss me but I wouldn't ever do that to anyone. I was younger when I tried and my life has changed significantly and it has given me a reason to get out of bed in the morning when previously I would fester for days, ringing in sick at work and just exist.

 

I appreciate the message and can tell it is a touching subject for you but I can assure you those thoughts are a thing of the past, however low I get. I know I can talk to people on here and I have a couple of others but I find it hard to talk but I know it helps, and like I have said before, I need to practice what I preach.

 

All 3 of you, thanks so much. You don't know how far the support goes, honestly.

[Parafox]

Sadly, our daughter is back in the Bradgate under section.

 

Worse still we have had to report her to the police for making threats to kill us. We've had hundreds, possibly over a thousand menacing, abusive text messages over the recent months but the latest have come during the week when she has been allowed to go to her home for a trial period. During this home release, things kicked off between her and her neighbours. She absolutely believes we have instigated this. Obviously we haven't but she has ramped up her threats as she feels under threat herself. This is mostly down to her paranoid thinking, however these latest threats really did cause alarm and distress to my wife particularly as she is the main target of daughter's anger. She has threatened to stab us to death if we ever go near her, she wants to watch us die, she wants to kill my wife and watch as she falls into her dead mothers grave, she said she'll get to our house even if she has to walk here and will attack us, as well as other monstrous notions.

 

As a result we both felt that there was a real threat to harm us if we had any direct contact and that she might even make the effort to travel to us. Linked in to that is the real possibility that she could attack the neighbours. 

 

Daughter called the police during the altercation and they removed her from her flat and took her back to the Bradgate for her own and the neighbours safety.

 

We were advised by the psych social worker and the CPN to make a report to the police so that there was some record and background in case anything should escalate even though we know the chance of us being attacked is minimal, the police officer said "you never know with mental health".

 

Things have calmed down since, but the very act of reporting her to the police was quite upsetting as we don't want her to have a criminal record although her CPN and the police said she won't get one as she is under section in line with the mental health act, unless she subsequently commits a criminal offence.

 

As I said, she is back in the Bradgate Unit but they are pushing for a discharge by the end of the week which is ridiculous given her MH state. We and the CPN and MH social worker are opposing this, obviously.

 

It's just an ongoing situation that never seems to improve and has been our lives to a greater or lesser degree for 30 years now. 

 

Still, we take it, shake it off and push on. Fortunately we've got close friends to help support us and we are pretty much used to living this life by now.

 

Posting here helps me personally as I can write about it all without prejudice.

 

Thanks all. 

 

Edited 16 April by Parafox

[HighPeakFox]

4 minutes ago, Parafox said:

Sadly, our daughter is back in the Bradgate under section.

 

Worse still we have had to report her to the police for making threats to kill us. We've had hundreds, possibly over a thousand menacing, abusive text messages over the recent months but the latest have come during the week when she has been allowed to go to her home for a trial period. During this home release, things kicked off between her and her neighbours. She absolutely believes we have instigated this. Obviously we haven't but she has ramped up her threats as she feels under threat herself. This is mostly down to her paranoid thinking, however these latest threats really did cause alarm and distress to my wife particularly as she is the main target of daughter's anger. She has threatened to stab us to death if we ever go near her, she wants to watch us die, she wants to kill my wife and watch as she falls into her dead mothers grave, she said she'll get to our house even if she has to walk and attack us as well as other monstrous notions.

 

As a result we both felt that there was a real threat to harm us if we had any direct contact and that she might even make the effort to travel to us. Linked in to that is the real possibility that she could attack the neighbours. 

 

Daughter called the police during the altercation and they removed her from her flat and took her back to the Bradgate for her own and the neighbours safety.

 

We were advised by the psych social worker and the CPN to make a report to the police so that there was some record and background in case anything should escalate even though we know the chance of us being attacked is minimal, the police officer said "you never know with mental health".

 

Things have calmed down since, but the very act of reporting her to the police was quite upsetting as we don't want her to have a criminal record although her CPN and the police said she won't get one as she is under section in line with the mental health act, unless she subsequently commits a criminal offence.

 

It's just an ongoing situation that never seems to improve and has been our lives to a greater or lesser degree for 30 years now. 

 

Still, we take it, shake it off and push on. Fortunately we've got close friends to help support us and we are pretty much used to living this life by now.

 

Posting here helps me personally as I can write about it all without prejudice.

 

Thanks all. 

 

I am so so sorry. Take care.

[FoyleFox]

2 hours ago, Parafox said:

Sadly, our daughter is back in the Bradgate under section.

 

Worse still we have had to report her to the police for making threats to kill us. We've had hundreds, possibly over a thousand menacing, abusive text messages over the recent months but the latest have come during the week when she has been allowed to go to her home for a trial period. During this home release, things kicked off between her and her neighbours. She absolutely believes we have instigated this. Obviously we haven't but she has ramped up her threats as she feels under threat herself. This is mostly down to her paranoid thinking, however these latest threats really did cause alarm and distress to my wife particularly as she is the main target of daughter's anger. She has threatened to stab us to death if we ever go near her, she wants to watch us die, she wants to kill my wife and watch as she falls into her dead mothers grave, she said she'll get to our house even if she has to walk here and will attack us, as well as other monstrous notions.

 

As a result we both felt that there was a real threat to harm us if we had any direct contact and that she might even make the effort to travel to us. Linked in to that is the real possibility that she could attack the neighbours. 

 

Daughter called the police during the altercation and they removed her from her flat and took her back to the Bradgate for her own and the neighbours safety.

 

We were advised by the psych social worker and the CPN to make a report to the police so that there was some record and background in case anything should escalate even though we know the chance of us being attacked is minimal, the police officer said "you never know with mental health".

 

Things have calmed down since, but the very act of reporting her to the police was quite upsetting as we don't want her to have a criminal record although her CPN and the police said she won't get one as she is under section in line with the mental health act, unless she subsequently commits a criminal offence.

 

As I said, she is back in the Bradgate Unit but they are pushing for a discharge by the end of the week which is ridiculous given her MH state. We and the CPN and MH social worker are opposing this, obviously.

 

It's just an ongoing situation that never seems to improve and has been our lives to a greater or lesser degree for 30 years now. 

 

Still, we take it, shake it off and push on. Fortunately we've got close friends to help support us and we are pretty much used to living this life by now.

 

Posting here helps me personally as I can write about it all without prejudice.

 

Thanks all. 

 

So very sorry to read this, I can't imagine how stressful this must be for you and Mrs Para. Good to hear you have in person support from friends, and we are always here.

[Tielemans63]

Hi all,

 

Long time lurker in this thread but haven't posted in it for ages. Just wanted to recommend this. Has helped me a lot more than I ever thought it would. Thought it might help a few others: