If you were prime minster tomorrow....

[I am Rod Hull]

1. The compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast

2. Free corsets for the under 5`s

3. The abolition of slavery

[Buce]

33 minutes ago, lifted*fox said:

1. Cull anyone with an IQ test score of 109 or less.

2. The rest will sort itself.

3. Spend all the funds on cocaine and loose women.

1

 

This forum would be decimated...

[somebum]

40 minutes ago, lifted*fox said:

1. Cull anyone with an IQ test score of 109 or less.

2. The rest will sort itself.

3. Spend all the funds on cocaine and loose women.

I like your style

[Guest Col city fan]

1.Stop teaching some crappy subjects at school, like home economics and foreign languages. And replace them with Mental Health Education and Financial management skills

2. Impose a cap on upper salary levels, whilst significantly increasing the national minimum wage

3. Ban Izzy from the jokes thread...

 

[Guest Col city fan]

2 hours ago, I am Rod Hull said:

1. The compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast

2. Free corsets for the under 5`s

3. The abolition of slavery

 

[Rogstanley]

3 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

1. Cull anyone with an IQ test score of 109 or less.

2. The rest will sort itself.

3. Spend all the funds on cocaine and loose women.

I used to know a guy who would show off about his IQ being 91. He thought it was a score out of 100.

Edited 24 February 2018 by Rogstanley

[Buce]

1 hour ago, Rogstanley said:

I used to know a guy who would show off about his IQ being 91. He thought it was a score out of 100.

 

I bet he was a Leave-voting Tory.

Edited 24 February 2018 by Buce

[lifted*fox]

1 hour ago, Buce said:

I bet he was a Leave-voting Tory.

 

Quote

• 80 - 89 - Dullness

• 70 - 79 - Borderline deficiency

• Under 70 - Definite feeble-mindedness

 

I think they probably fall somewhere into those categories.

[Countryfox]

 If I was the Prime Minister tomorrow I would buy a nice new dress and keep banging on to everyone to not leave the toilet seat up ....

[Jon the Hat]

3 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

 

 

I think they probably fall somewhere into those categories.

Ah yes, we don’t agree with you so we are stupid.  Right oh.

[Great Boos Up]

Oh yeah like I'd prevent terrorism and make the NHS more efficient and ban brexit. Student dreams!

Probably 3 things that I actually could get done

1. Stop changing the clocks.

2. Build more prisons.

3. Claim and leach every single expense I could for my own personal financial gain just like every other minister; prime or otherwise.

[RobHawk]

1 hour ago, Great Boos Up said:

Oh yeah like I'd prevent terrorism and make the NHS more efficient and ban brexit. Student dreams!

Probably 3 things that I actually could get done

1. Stop changing the clocks.

2. Build more prisons.

3. Claim and leach every single expense I could for my own personal financial gain just like every other minister; prime or otherwise.

That's a great call to be fair!

[DennisNedry]

1) Scrap huge wastes of money like HS2 & Trident.

 

2) Confiscate land from landowners/developers who leave land undeveloped and build 100,000s of houses on them (with many under council control). Simplify planning rules to make building easier. Confiscate all property owned by foreign investors. Implement a 500% charge on vacant second homes.

 

3) Completely re-do the whole tax system. Have one tax based on income, one on assets. Make these much more progressive. Revoke trading licenses on corporations that evade tax. I.e. Forcibly cease Starbucks from trading in the UK if these refuse to comply.

[Vlad the Fox]

14 hours ago, Bellend Sebastian said:

I'd arm teachers

Too right. I'm sick of seeing the smug leftie bastards in their tank tops. 

 

No leather patches on the elbows though.

[Vlad the Fox]

I'd remove the ability for short term careerist politicians to use education as a platform for their unqualified whims and fancies and put in place a body of experts with years of experience that can set long term targets, growth and development.

 

State pension would have a bearing on what you'd gave to and taken out the system

 

And those that needed nursing care wouldn't lose a lifetime of work and savings to pay for it.

 

Oh.... And I'd take back that terrorist state America. Never accepted their independence. 

 

 

 

[Sampson]

1. Create stricter rules on corporate takeovers and bigger fines on collusion. The promotion of fair competition should be one of the few roles of the state.

 

2. Privatise parts of the NHS and move to much more of a mixture of a private/public health care system bringing in insurance-based systems with the State providing for those who can't afford insurance like the rest of Western, Central and Northern Europe has, rather than having our current state monopoly on health care which the rest of the Western word has abandoned for it's obvious inefficiencies and unaffordability of staff wages.

 

3. Reduce some of those needless green belt areas around the home counties, allowing more land for housing developers to build on.

Edited 25 February 2018 by Sampson

[Soar Fox]

15 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

1. Cull anyone with an IQ test score of 109 or less.

2. The rest will sort itself.

3. Spend all the funds on cocaine and loose women.

Yeah man. Bagsy having Janet Street-porter 

[Milo]

1. Simplify the tax system. Blanket 15% on income tax, except for the lowest paid workers, and 15% on profits from all companies active in the U.K.  Any tax avoidance/evasion or 'tax efficiency' is punished by naming and shaming and payment of 30% tax for next 5 years. Repeat offenders 60%. And so on. 

 

2. All cash business transactions to cease, or a system of compulsory centralised receipts issued. Hairdressers, window cleaners, restaurants, builders to stop claiming they earn £21k a year, jumping into their big Mercs and then taking 3 week summer holidays to Disneyland Florida. Stop it - it's annoying. 

 

3. Businesses to treat their staff with dignity and respect and to pay them a wage on which they can live. Percentage of business turnover to be reinvested for staff training, holistic wellbeing and welfare...

 

4. ...Which would remove the need for 'waiting to be offended' unions who protect lazy, non-productive and disruptive members (perfect word to describe them, tbf). 

 

5. Stop teaching religion in schools. It's dangerous. 

 

6. Anyone who wears a blue number 22 shirt should be under some curfew where they have to report into their local police station every Saturday at 3pm, and not be released until 4.30

 

 

 

 

 

And I'm spent...

[Daggers]

1. Martial law

2. Turn parliament into an ice cream shop/store for my concubines

3. Scrap voting and ban political parties

4. Annihilate Staffordshire

5. Place Farage’s head on a spike in the Eurotunnel car park

6. Make cheese free

7. Table air hockey to become the official national sport

8. Internet to be accessible to the population on Sunday only

9. Compel every household to home at least one immigrant

10. Prohibit the wearing of pink

[Vacamion]

23 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

 Cull anyone with an IQ test score of 109 or less.

 

 

Why 109?

 

It seems an odd number (I know, I know, it actually IS an odd number).  I mean, it seems a bit arbitrary.

 

 

 

 

[lifted*fox]

3 minutes ago, Vacamion said:

Why 109?

 

It seems an odd number (I know, I know, it actually IS an odd number).  I mean, it seems a bit arbitrary.

I was being facetious mostly (take note Jon the Hat) but 110 is the cut off for Superior Intelligence. 

Edited 25 February 2018 by lifted*fox

[The Quick Brown Fox]

1. Make prison hard, bread and water to eat with vitamin supplements. No gym, no TV, no visitors and 1 hour out of cell a day. No one would re offend. 

2. Abolish the expenses for MPs, live off your wage you greedy bastards.

3. Bring back the death penalty.

[lifted*fox]

bringing back the death penalty - how archaic.

 

maybe we can have some stocks in the local marketplace where we can hold people until we behead them.  

 

perhaps after that we can get some torches and pitchforks and go witch-hunting like the good ol' days. 

Edited 25 February 2018 by lifted*fox

[lifted*fox]

particularly surprised at the number of people saying about building more prisons and making them tougher as well. 

 

we need to spend that money on helping people avoid prison in the first place through education / rehabilitation / removing them from dangerous situations / gangs / crime, etc. 

 

locking more people up isn't the answer ffs.

 

honestly, some people just want to take the easy route to everything. 

[ozleicester]

56 minutes ago, Daggers said:

1. Martial law _ hes not as good as youd think

2. Turn parliament into an ice cream shop/store for my concubines - pointless, they prefer tubers, buds, fruit, bark, carrots, 

3. Scrap voting and ban political parties - How will i know who wins CBB?

4. Annihilate Staffordshire - Fair enough... hate those dogs

5. Place Farage’s head on a spike in the Eurotunnel car park - only as long as the spike is inserted anally

6. Make cheese free  - more info needed, make what cheese free?

7. Table air hockey to become the official national sport - only if the shell suit is the official clothing

8. Internet to be accessible to the population on Sunday only - bugger, its already Sunday evening... ive missed it.. all of this is a waste

9. Compel every household to home at least one immigrant - im an immigrant and so's my wife, so im onboard with that

10. Prohibit the wearing of pink - shes always better when she performs alone!

 

Edited 25 February 2018 by ozleicester