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Facecloth

2019 Deathlist

By Facecloth, in General Chat

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, ozleicester said:

Bob Hawke (Oz PM)

Olivia Newton John (Singer)

Paul Hogan (Actor)

Rolf Harris (Paedo)

Germaine Greer (Person)

Barry Humphries (Edna)

Dawn Fraser (Swimmer)

 

Under 40 - any Hemsworth

 

Couldn't you have somehow got Nick Cave, Kylie Minogue, Ian Chappell and Tim Cahill in there? You'd have been the only person left in Australia....

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ozleicester

ozleicester

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Couldn't you have somehow got Nick Cave, Kylie Minogue, Ian Chappell and Tim Cahill in there? You'd have been the only person left in Australia....

Me and all the other pommy fvcking refugees

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted

 

Ray Sawyer, eye-patched vocalist with Dr. Hook, gone at 81: https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/jan/02/dr-hook-the-medicine-show-vocalist-ray-sawyer-dies-aged-81

 

One day you're sporting an eye patch and Sylvia's mother won't let her speak to you, next day they're hanging up your eye patch and nobody can speak to you. :(

 

In memory of better times - for all of us, perhaps, but certainly for Ray:

 

 

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
47 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Ray Sawyer, eye-patched vocalist with Dr. Hook, gone at 81: https://www.theguardian.com/music/2019/jan/02/dr-hook-the-medicine-show-vocalist-ray-sawyer-dies-aged-81

 

One day you're sporting an eye patch and Sylvia's mother won't let her speak to you, next day they're hanging up your eye patch and nobody can speak to you. :(

 

In memory of better times - for all of us, perhaps, but certainly for Ray:

 

 

 

I always thought what a lucky escape the singer had. 

 

Imagine having Sylvia’s mother as your mother-in-law. :nono:

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General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted
On ‎29‎/‎12‎/‎2018 at 02:25, General Smuts said:

I’ve had mine written on a bit of paper since early December and have managed to lose that bit of paper. So a bunch of new guesses:

 

1. Heather Locklear

2. Jade Goody’s Mum

3. Linda Nolan

4. Leah Bracknell

5. Valerie Harper

 

U40 - Aaron Carter

For the record who I wrote down was:

 

Jackie Stallone
Gordon Banks
Olivia Newton John
Leah Bracknell
Vera Lynn

 

Aaron Carter

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted (edited)

 

I'll never be competitive in this, as I cannot bring myself to nominate anyone old, sick or troubled or anyone that I'd miss.

I'd feel so guilty if I nominated Kirk Douglas, Clive James or Gazza and happened to pick up points for them snuffing it.

 

That said.....

 

1. Sir John Redwood (accidental beheading): The proudest moment of his career turns sour. Age causes Queenie to suffer an unexpected tremor. The sword is sharp. The Buck House red carpet turns redder still.

2. Ed Sheeran (air-con/intercom malfunction): Guests at the Hilton gaze in horror as the air-con/intercom backfires and sucks up the shallow, grinning purveyor of banal ditties. He's literally "lost in muzak, caught in a trap".

3. Tommy Robinson (violent assault): Politics, legal broadcasting and sport are bereft as Tommy is beaten to death by transvestite Muslim migrants. His body is discovered with Mein Kampf rammed up his whiter-than-white arse. 

4. Yasmin Alibhai-Brown (mistaken assassination): Anti-fascist extremists make a terrible yet ironic error, shooting Yasmin instead of Wayne Brown. Right-wing extremists are distraught to lose the epitome of counter-productive liberalism.

5. Derek Underwood (drowning): As he approaches the White Cliffs of Dover, some liquid car polish dribbles from Derek's bodywork into his brakes and he flies into the Channel. Some passing Iranian migrants capture his last words before drowning: "What I regret above all is that time at Folkestone in the 70s when I told a young lad to stop leaning on my nicely-polished car. All he wanted was an autograph". Elsewhere, that young lad, now gnarled with age though not embittered by grudges, types in the Foxes Talk Deathlist 2019 thread: "One day you're Deadly Derek, next day you're dead, Derek".

 

U40. Andy Carroll (accidental throttling): Andy dives for a far post header, his man-bun comes undone, ponytail entangled around net, post and neck. What a tragic loss for the football world.

 

1st reserve. Kate Silverton (spontaneous combustion): Kate vanishes live on air for BBC News, leaving only a pair of expensive shoes, a pair of intellectual's specs, a pile of lipstick and a tangible if fading aura of smug self-importance.

Edited by Alf Bentley
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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
On 27/12/2018 at 17:22, RODNEY FERNIO said:

The Queen

Prince Philip

Prince Charles

Princess Anne

Robert Mugabe 

 

Under 40 :

The Queen's corgis.

 

1 hour ago, StanSP said:

Close!

 

Imagine if Phil had mistaken the brakes for the accelerator as he arrived at Sandringham.....with the Queen, Charles & Anne chatting out front.....to Mugabe who was on a state visit.....and Phil then reversed over the corgis.....and then had a heart attack at the carnage he had caused....

 

Full house (or Royal Flush, possibly)! :thumbup:

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gw_leics772

gw_leics772

Posted
Posted
On 08/01/2019 at 13:13, Alf Bentley said:

 

I'll never be competitive in this, as I cannot bring myself to nominate anyone old, sick or troubled or anyone that I'd miss.

I'd feel so guilty if I nominated Kirk Douglas, Clive James or Gazza and happened to pick up points for them snuffing it.

 

That said.....

 

1. Sir John Redwood (accidental beheading): The proudest moment of his career turns sour. Age causes Queenie to suffer an unexpected tremor. The sword is sharp. The Buck House red carpet turns redder still.

2. Ed Sheeran (air-con/intercom malfunction): Guests at the Hilton gaze in horror as the air-con/intercom backfires and sucks up the shallow, grinning purveyor of banal ditties. He's literally "lost in muzak, caught in a trap".

3. Tommy Robinson (violent assault): Politics, legal broadcasting and sport are bereft as Tommy is beaten to death by transvestite Muslim migrants. His body is discovered with Mein Kampf rammed up his whiter-than-white arse. 

4. Yasmin Alibhai-Brown (mistaken assassination): Anti-fascist extremists make a terrible yet ironic error, shooting Yasmin instead of Wayne Brown. Right-wing extremists are distraught to lose the epitome of counter-productive liberalism.

5. Derek Underwood (drowning): As he approaches the White Cliffs of Dover, some liquid car polish dribbles from Derek's bodywork into his brakes and he flies into the Channel. Some passing Iranian migrants capture his last words before drowning: "What I regret above all is that time at Folkestone in the 70s when I told a young lad to stop leaning on my nicely-polished car. All he wanted was an autograph". Elsewhere, that young lad, now gnarled with age though not embittered by grudges, types in the Foxes Talk Deathlist 2019 thread: "One day you're Deadly Derek, next day you're dead, Derek".

 

U40. Andy Carroll (accidental throttling): Andy dives for a far post header, his man-bun comes undone, ponytail entangled around net, post and neck. What a tragic loss for the football world.

 

1st reserve. Kate Silverton (spontaneous combustion): Kate vanishes live on air for BBC News, leaving only a pair of expensive shoes, a pair of intellectual's specs, a pile of lipstick and a tangible if fading aura of smug self-importance.

This deserves far more recognition than a simple ? rep point, so:-

 

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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