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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted

<embed width="600" height="361" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullscreen="true" allowNetworking="all" wmode="transparent" src="http://static.photobucket.com/player.swf" flashvars="file=http%3A%2F%2Fvid21.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fb251%2F_James_Skinner%2FBESTGLASSESCOMMERCIALEVER.mp4">

crylaugh.gif

davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted

I blame photo bucket, fixed it now

Yes I realised and since they messed about with photobucket it seems much harder to do a link.

Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted

BBC News: Woman thrown off X-Factor for being mentally unstable.

That's like throwing a contestant off University Challenge for being a virgin.

lol

AjcW

AjcW

Posted
Posted

Girl - "I'll give you a chilean miner",

Boy - "What?!?!?"

Girl "I'll go down the shaft and stay till christmas."

The Doctor

The Doctor

Posted
Posted

two blokes (we'll call the steve and peter) are walking through a fete one day and come across a dartboard challenge.

Peter says to steve " I bet you £50 you can't get 180 with 3 darts". Steve agrees, his first dart hits a treble 20 but the second is only a single 20.

"Aah, you'll never get 180 now, that's 50 quid you owe me", Steve throws his last dart which then bounces off the wire frame and hits a nun in the eye. As the nun drops to the ground steve says "Not so fast, thats One-nun-dead and 80, You owe me £50"

Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

Paddy stumbles across a mass baptism at a river. He walks into the river and stands next to the preacher.

"Are you ready to find Jesus my son?"

Paddy says "I am sir". The preacher puts him under the water then says "Have you found Jesus ?"

"No sir" replies Paddy.

He puts him under for longer.

"Have you found Jesus?"

"No sir"

He puts him under for two minutes "Have you found Jesus?"

Paddy says "Are you fecking sure this is where he fell in?".

MikeyT

MikeyT

Posted
Posted

Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.

Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."

Vet: "Is it a tom ?"

Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us." :blush:

mikey54

mikey54

Posted
Posted

Latest rumours are linking Wayne Rooney in a threesome with a mother and daughter.

Rooney, it is reported, picked up a 48 year old in a bar. She asked him if he fancied a mother & daughter 'session'

'F**king great' he replied

So she took him back to her place, opened the door to her house and shouted 'Put yer' teeth in ma', we got company'

MPH

MPH

Posted
Posted (edited)

Girl - "I'll give you a chilean miner",

Boy - "What?!?!?"

Girl "I'll go down the shaft and stay till christmas."

Gary glitter has offered to help with the rescue effort in chile... he's heard there are 33 minors trapped underground ...

Edited by MPH
Father Ted

Father Ted

Posted
Posted

I've just bought the new International Cricket 2010 game for my Xbox but the disc is broken.

I'm now looking for a Pakistani because I've heard that there fucking good at fixing cricket games!

Guest Bilo

Guest Bilo

Posted
Posted

My mate told me that I just don't understand irony.

Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.

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