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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Countryfox

Countryfox

Posted
Posted
25 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

It's a half rhyme I guess, "up at eight o" apparently sounds like "a potato" to some people.  "Up at art o" would have worked phonetically but then you lose the coherent sentence..

Got it ! ..    Cheers Llama.   

Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted
17 hours ago, Countryfox said:

 

Oh I get it !! ...    Haha ! ...     Great joke ! ...   lol        But where does the potato come into it ? .....

Sod off you WUM. :P

 

I'm trying my best to counter Izzy's attempts. At least mine wasn't googled. ;)

  • Like 1
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Parafox said:

Sod off you WUM. :P

 

I'm trying my best to counter Izzy's attempts. At least mine wasn't googled. ;)

Honestly...:rolleyes:

 

I leave this thread for just 24 hours and it all turns to rat shit. Typical...

 

I'll continue to serve my self imposed week ban from posting a joke, and instead just watch from afar as the whole thread crumbles in my absence :whistle:

 

By the weekend you'll all be begging me to return and bring joy and happiness back to your sad lives :D

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
  • Popular Post
TiffToff88

TiffToff88

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted
16 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Honestly...:rolleyes:

 

I leave this thread for just 24 hours and it all turns to rat shit. Typical...

 

I'll continue to serve my self imposed week ban from posting a joke, and instead just watch from afar as the whole thread crumbles in my absence :whistle:

 

By the weekend you'll all be begging me to return and bring joy and happiness back to your sad lives :D

I thought you said you weren't doing any more jokes this week?

  • Like 2
  • Haha 3
TiffToff88

TiffToff88

Posted
Posted (edited)

2 prostitutes standing on a street corner, They hear police sirens nearby so they leg it.

 

When they get to safety, one of them says "F**k me that was close! Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

 

to which, the other replies "No, but i have been swung around by the tits"

Edited by TiffToff88
  • Like 2
foxfanazer

foxfanazer

Posted
Posted (edited)

So yesterday I went to get my prostate examined. I asked the doctor where I should put my pants.

 

”over there next to mine” was not the answer I wanted to hear

Edited by foxfanazer
  • Like 1
Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during root canal work? 
His goal: transcend dental medication.

  • Like 2
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

All this talk of Christmas already and it’s only October FFS.

 

I tell ya, whoever invented Christmas wants nailing to a fvcking cross...

  • Like 1
Beliall

Beliall

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

All this talk of Christmas already and it’s only October FFS.

 

I tell ya, whoever invented Christmas wants nailing to a fvcking cross...

i hope he dies and never comes back

  • Haha 1
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
On 04/10/2017 at 16:14, Trav Le Bleu said:

Sometimes it's like I'm back in my school playground in here.

When I was at school I remember my mates and teachers all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian in later life.

 

Well I tell you what. They’re not laughing now...

  • Haha 1
Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

When I was at school I remember my mates and teachers all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian in later life.

 

Well I tell you what. They’re not laughing now...

 

Oddly, neither is anybody else...

  • Haha 1
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

An Eskimo was washed onto a rocky island by a storm.

 

He had to decide whether to burn his canoe to keep warm and hope for rescue, or try to paddle to the mainland.  

 

He chose to burn the canoe, but was never rescued and sadly died.

 

Apparently you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Milo

Milo

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

An Eskimo was washed onto a rocky island by a storm.

 

He had to decide whether to burn his canoe to keep warm and hope for rescue, or try to paddle to the mainland.  

 

He chose to burn the canoe, but was never rescued and sadly died.

 

Apparently you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Holy. 

Fking. 

Moley. 

 

:o

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