Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
 Share
Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

Recommended Posts

davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted
On 29/09/2017 at 09:51, davieG said:

Reminds me of some toilet graffiti.

 

When the Shithouse poet dies.

He will find erected in the skies

As a token of his wit

A Column made of solid shit.

...  .and another

 

In this shithouse do not linger 

We're short of paper

So use your finger

If your finger is too small

Wipe your Arse upon the wall 

 

HERE >

pics-328.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, davieG said:

...  .and another

 

In this shithouse do not linger 

We're short of paper

So use your finger

If your finger is too small

Wipe your Arse upon the wall 

 

HERE >

 

One my dad told me,

 

Here I  am, all down hearted.

Paid a penny and only farted.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

I just bought a vintage Rolls Royce at auction, but the budget didn't cover a driver.

 

So I spent all that money, and I've got nothing to chauffeur it...

  • Haha 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I just bought a vintage Rolls Royce at auction, but the budget didn't cover a driver.

 

So I spent all that money, and I've got nothing to chauffeur it...

I'm tempted to react to that but it'll only encourage you.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

A little Rabbit is running happily through the woods when he comes across a Giraffe rolling a joint. He runs up the Giraffe and says, "Hey, Giraffe. You really shouldn't do that. Think of your health. You should come running in the woods instead!" The Giraffe looks at the Little Rabbit, looks at the spliff, shrugs his shoulders, tosses the joint over his shoulder, and runs off through the wood with the Little Rabbit.

 

After a while, the Giraffe and the Rabbit come across an Elephant about to do a line of Coke. The Rabbit says, "Oh, Elephant you really shouldn't do that. You should come running with us in the wood instead, it's much better for you." The Elephant looks at the Rabbit, looks at the line of Charlie, shrugs his shoulders, then runs off through the wood with the Giraffe and the Rabbit.

 

Shortly they come across a Bear about to shoot up heroin. The Rabbit runs up to him and says, "Hey, Bear, you shouldn't do that, think of your health. You'd be better of running in the woods with us." The Bear looks at the Rabbit, looks at the syringe, spoon and stuff, shrugs his shoulders, kicks the whole lot away and runs off with the Rabbit, the Giraffe and the Elephant.

 

After a while they come across a Tiger drinking his way through a six pack of beer. The Rabbit runs up to the Tiger and says, "Hey Tiger, you really shouldn't do that" and the Tiger immediately jumps up and starts kicking the shit out of him.

 

The Giraffe pulls the Tiger off and asks, "Why on earth did you do that?"

 

The Tiger replies, "That fvcking Rabbit pisses me right off. Every time he's high on Ecstacy he keeps asking me to run around the woods for hours on end!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

I started chatting to a girl at the bar, I said "You know what, I would love a quick shag in the toilets before my Mrs gets here. What do you say?" 


"Stick your fvcking glasses on, you twat!" replied my wife...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Buce said:

59d128962057f_dudestop.thumb.jpg.4782043d88522e570f87f4e8b8264a5b.jpg

O.K, point taken :( 

 

I'm going to ban myself from this thread for a week to gather even better jokes, before coming back again in spectacular fashion :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites
The Bear

The Bear

Posted
Posted
A little Rabbit is running happily through the woods when he comes across a Giraffe rolling a joint. He runs up the Giraffe and says, "Hey, Giraffe. You really shouldn't do that. Think of your health. You should come running in the woods instead!" The Giraffe looks at the Little Rabbit, looks at the spliff, shrugs his shoulders, tosses the joint over his shoulder, and runs off through the wood with the Little Rabbit.
 
After a while, the Giraffe and the Rabbit come across an Elephant about to do a line of Coke. The Rabbit says, "Oh, Elephant you really shouldn't do that. You should come running with us in the wood instead, it's much better for you." The Elephant looks at the Rabbit, looks at the line of Charlie, shrugs his shoulders, then runs off through the wood with the Giraffe and the Rabbit.
 
Shortly they come across a Bear about to shoot up heroin. The Rabbit runs up to him and says, "Hey, Bear, you shouldn't do that, think of your health. You'd be better of running in the woods with us." The Bear looks at the Rabbit, looks at the syringe, spoon and stuff, shrugs his shoulders, kicks the whole lot away and runs off with the Rabbit, the Giraffe and the Elephant.
 
After a while they come across a Tiger drinking his way through a six pack of beer. The Rabbit runs up to the Tiger and says, "Hey Tiger, you really shouldn't do that" and the Tiger immediately jumps up and starts kicking the shit out of him.
 
The Giraffe pulls the Tiger off and asks, "Why on earth did you do that?"
 
The Tiger replies, "That fvcking Rabbit pisses me right off. Every time he's high on Ecstacy he keeps asking me to run around the woods for hours on end!"

I started chatting to a girl at the bar, I said "You know what, I would love a quick shag in the toilets before my Mrs gets here. What do you say?" 

"Stick your fvcking glasses on, you twat!" replied my wife...

63adf70a2c95b67ed30c1e6031d13ca48bb74638da9e92cc3fdfbee07b1f8b7f.jpg
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

O.K, point taken :( 

 

I'm going to ban myself from this thread for a week to gather even better jokes, before coming back again in spectacular fashion :D

 

Kill.jpg.b76c969bbdaecea80f72a2c7e46397b5.jpg

 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
fuchsntf

fuchsntf

Posted
Posted
27 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

O.K, point taken :( 

 

I'm going to ban myself from this thread for a week to gather even better jokes, before coming back again in spectacular fashion :D

Dont you dare....you keep them coming as qiick and fast as you can.....@izzy muzzet fan club and groupy..

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
21 minutes ago, fuchsntf said:

Dont you dare....you keep them coming as qiick and fast as you can.....@izzy muzzet fan club and groupy..

Ok, just one more for you fuchy me old mate...

 

There's a new film coming out soon about an HGV driver who customises his rig and cleans and polishes it all the time.

 

I haven't seen it yet, but the trailer looks amazing :D

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...