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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

When I first tried golf I wasn't very good at it, so decided to have some lessons.

 

The instructor kept telling me to follow through with my swing.

 

Luckily they had showers in the clubhouse...

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Countryfox

Countryfox

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16 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

That made me laugh so much that I spat some of my mashed potato onto the end of my pen (early lunch).

 

I needed a mashie niblick.

Thats funny I had a late breakfast ..      just tossed a couple of eggs in the four iron pan ...

 

 

(I know, I know) ...

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TiffToff88

TiffToff88

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19 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Why didn't the romance between Princess Leia and Chewbacca work out?

 

Because she was looking for love in Alderaan places.

Trying to put a stop to the golfing puns by making a Star Wars joke? Wookie mistake...

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

I was in bed last night 'spooning' the wife when I rested my knob against her arse.

 

"What do you reckon?" I whispered - "Do you fancy a bit?"

 

"Pack it in" she said.

 

Well she didn't have to tell me twice...

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Buce

Buce

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2 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I got stopped by a woman in the street yesterday.

 

She said, "Excuse me sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?"

 

I said, "Yes, he's nearly 3 now."

 

Ah, you regained control of your account then. 

 

Excellent. 

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

I've been seeing this nurse for a few days and we finally got round to shagging...


As I stripped off I said to her: "You must have seen a few cocks where you work? How do you rate mine?"


She said: "It's just slightly bigger than most I see"


I said: "ahhh thanks babe, what sort of nursing do you do by the way?"


"I'm a Midwife" she replied 

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