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James.

Amusing News Stories

By James., in General Chat

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Jordan

Jordan

Posted
Posted

Hot pockets. Nothing comes closer to lava after 3 minutes in the microwave. Nothing. Those poor Jersey residents will now have to suffer 1st degree internal burns too? There's no mercy!

They can treat their burns from the liquid magma near the edges of the Hot Pocket by using the still-frozen middle of the Hot Pocket to soothe their pain. It's impossible to achieve a uniform temperature throughout the whole Hot Pocket; it is the most frustrating of all the frozen foods.

sphericalfox

sphericalfox

Posted
Posted

They can treat their burns from the liquid magma near the edges of the Hot Pocket by using the still-frozen middle of the Hot Pocket to soothe their pain. It's impossible to achieve a uniform temperature throughout the whole Hot Pocket; it is the most frustrating of all the frozen foods.

I don't think they changed the recipe, it's been a awhile mind, I never had issues with frozen pockets, maybe a lukewarm one, but you are right, a uniformly heated pocket is near to impossible, things just go from bad to worse, I bet they haven't got the electric to nuke those free suckers either. Frozen it is.

Alexikokopops

Alexikokopops

Posted
Posted

They can treat their burns from the liquid magma near the edges of the Hot Pocket by using the still-frozen middle of the Hot Pocket to soothe their pain. It's impossible to achieve a uniform temperature throughout the whole Hot Pocket; it is the most frustrating of all the frozen foods.

You should try a Dr Oetker pizza. They seem to break every rule of physics by being hot and cold at the same time.

  • 2 weeks later...
GLC

GLC

Posted
Posted

Is it against the law? Just the same as a doll. Well almost.

I think grave robbing is against the law!

Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

When was licking considered sex - foreplay maybe but sex?

Simo86

Simo86

Posted
Posted

When was licking considered sex - foreplay maybe but sex?

They're not going to put pictures of her rogering herself with a skeleton bone though are they lol

  • 2 weeks later...
21st Century Fox

21st Century Fox

Posted
Posted
David Cameron has an unlikely taste in music – he's the first Tory PM to dig the Smiths, for instance – but we rarely thought he was making much of it up. Until Monday, that is. Speaking to reporters in Westminster, the prime minister let it be known that he had once voted for Will Young on The X Factor: "because my daughter made me". Which is all very eclectic (80s indie and early-00s talent-show crap on the same iPod!) but it is also demonstrably false. Will Young won Pop Idol (not The X Factor) in 2002, at which point Nancy Gwen Cameron – née 2004 – was but a pair of X chromosomes lurking deep inside mama and papa Cameron. Whoops.
  • 2 weeks later...
The Doctor

The Doctor

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Posted

ok, it's rather old, but: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/3013959.stm

Lecturers and students from the University of Plymouth wanted to test the claim that an infinite number of monkeys given typewriters would create the works of The Bard.

A single computer was placed in a monkey enclosure at Paignton Zoo to monitor the literary output of six primates.

But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s".

The project, by students from the university's MediaLab Arts course, received £2,000 from the Arts Council.

Director of the university's Institute of Digital Arts and Technology (i-DAT), Mike Phillips, denied the project was a disaster and said they had learned "an awful lot".

He also denied it had been a waste of money.

sphericalfox

sphericalfox

Posted
Posted

http://www.dailymail...o=feeds-newsxml

Father apologises after football fan son, 10, is engulfed in Twitter race storm for blacking up his face to look like his favourite player El Hadji Diouf

  • Leeds fan posted pictures of himself with El Hadji Diouf on Twitter
  • Pictured with a blacked up face and white mohican to look like his hero
  • Posed with other Diouf and other Leeds players and manager Neil Warnock
  • Caused backlash on Twitter with users accusing the child of being racist
  • Child's father had to take to social networking site to defend his son

A ten-year-old Leeds United fan has become embroiled in an online race row after he blacked up to pose with his hero El Hadji Diouf.

The child posted a series of pictures on his Twitter account provoking a backlash from users who said he was racist.

But the primary school child said he did not realise it would be offensive and did it as a tribute to his footballing hero.

The boy's father was forced to take to his son's Twitter account to defend him from accusations of racism.

He wrote: 'I want to apologise if [my son] dressing up has caused offence.

'He asked to dress up as Diouf so we let him for a bit of fun. We completely underestimated the response it would get. Hes only 10 and likes the banter so lay off please thanks for positive comments'.

The fan met his favourite player outside Elland Road ahead of his team's home game against Bolton Wanderers on New Year's Day.

He said Diouf and other Leeds players found the 'costume' - a blacked up face and head, Leeds kit and white mohican - funny.

As well as Diouf, the child also posed with Leeds' captain Lee Peltier and players Ryan Hall and Sam Byram.

The child also said midfielder Paul Green said to him: 'How cool do you look?'

The fan also posted pictures of him with Leeds United manager Neil Warnock, who he said found it funny, and police officers outside the ground.

The boy also got to meet his hero once more in the tunnel.

Ahead of the game he tweeted: 'Theres only 2 El-Hadji Dioufs...this is how I've come dressed today.'

After the pictures were posted, Twitter users took to the social networking site accusing the child of racism.

One user called @JacobKing7 wrote: 'This is a touching photo mixed with a touch of racism',. and @greatbearbert wrote: 'Wrong on so many levels!'

Some questioned why a child was allowed to black up in the first place, with others saying the picture made them uncomfortable.

However, many people defended the child. Norwich City footballer Robert Snodgrass wrote: 'Can't a kid dress up as one of his favourite players these days without people moaning. We were kids once.'

Others joked that 'miniDiouf' should be signed up by the club.

The child also later took to the social networking site to defend himself and said he is not racist.

He wrote: 'Some pl on here think im racist for going todays game fancy dress loke diouf he loves it all the players do loads of fand been taking pics.'

He also said 'its a bit of fun' and claimed the footballer wanted the picture on his phone and took one himself.

The super fan said he even shaved his head to look more like his hero and 'loves Leeds'.

He said: 'Im a big leeds fan and love diouf.'

He added: 'I didnt realise i wud get this much attention thanks for your comments but im gonna watch rest of match now'.

He ended the conversation by saying: 'Just to let u know that the makeup and hairstuff i was wearing was from a fancy dress shop and washed straight off am now in my pjs.'

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Captain...

Captain...

Posted
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I saw the picture on the funny pics thread, I knew some people would get het up over him blacking up, but for fvcks sake if you can't tell the difference between a tribute to a player and genuine racism then you are too stupid to have a valid opinion on it.

In fact thinking it is offensive for a white person to dress up as a black person is a little racist.

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