Amusing News Stories

[Rincewind]

not sure where to put this other than start a new thread.

https://twitter.com/WhatTheFFacts

 

Here is one to get your attention.

 

What The F*** Facts @WhatTheFFacts  ·  58m

Ejaculating in a woman fights depression, anxiety and overall stress for the female.

[ScouseFox]

Woman rings police to complain about quality of crystal meth

Oklahoma police arrest 54-year-old following call from irate drug user whose methamphetamine failed to pass the Breaking Bad test

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/11004303/Woman-rings-police-to-complain-about-quality-of-crystal-meth.html

[Rincewind]

Firearm instructor shoots his own hand while teaching his son how to use one safely.

 

http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/08/03/texas-firearms-instructor-tries-to-teach-his-kids-about-gun-safety-fails-when-he-shoots-his-own-hand/

[FoxesAreBlue]

Commuters tilt a train carriage to free a passenger wedged between the train and the platform.

http://www.theguardian.com/world/video/2014/aug/06/commuters-tilt-rock-train-free-trapped-man-perth-australia-video

[separator]

97p shop opens next to a 99p shop, then has a 95p introductory sale. 

 

http://metro.co.uk/2014/08/07/high-street-price-war-97p-store-holds-95p-sale-against-99p-rival-4824153/

[rico]

Wanted

 

http://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/woman-wanted-robbery-s-6ft-5ins-Mohican-hairstyle/story-22738631-detail/story.html

[Merging Cultures]

Wanted

 

http://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/woman-wanted-robbery-s-6ft-5ins-Mohican-hairstyle/story-22738631-detail/story.html

 

Lad goes rides his bike into the canal.

 

Lad: Mum, I've lost my bike. sob sob

Mum: What do you mean? That bike cost a fortune. I am going to smack you so hard.

Lad: Erm... it was stolen.

Mum: Stolen? Who stole it?

Lad: A woman.

Mum: A woman? Stand up for yourself son.

Lad: There were three of them.

Mum: So?

Lad: Erm... one was 6ft 5 tall.

Mum: 6ft 5?

Lad: Yeah, and she had a mohican.

Mum: Right, I am calling the police...

Lad: Mum, no don't it's ok.... erm... Mum... 

[davieG]

Not exactly amuisng

 

 

 

Winchester woman finds 3ft wasp nest on bed

The wasps had chewed through the pillows and the mattress of the bed in order to make their nest larger

Continue reading the main story Related Stories

• Man held after wasp 'sting operation'
• Where are all the wasps?
• Six-foot wasp nest found in pub

A Hampshire pest controller said he took on "the biggest job of his career", after being called to deal with a nest of more than 5,000 wasps.

John Birkett, of Longwood Services Pest Control, said removing the 3ft (91cm) nest from a bed in Winchester was his most unusual job in 45 years.

He said it would have been "extremely dangerous" if the homeowner had tried to remove it herself.

He added: "I just stood back in amazement."

The nest was discovered by a woman at her house in St Cross, in an unused spare room, where a small window had been left open.

'Wonderful job'

Mr Birkett believes it may have taken about three months to build.

He said: "I did think what a wonderful job they had done."

The wasps had chewed through the pillows and the mattress of the bed in order to make their nest larger.

However Mr Birkett did manage to save the owner's crocheted blanket.

He said: "The nest split in two and I have never seen so many wasps and I have been doing this for 45 years.

"I had to go in to the room and close the door, otherwise the house would have been filled."

It took him about two hours to spray the insects and dismantle the nest.

[Bellend Sebastian]

People like my Gran, who's nearly a hundred, would probably appreciate these sorts of explanations if she could see well enough to actually read it:

 

http://www.theguardian.com/media/mediamonkeyblog/2014/sep/03/daily-mail-icloud-celebrity-photos-hacked-naked

[The Doctor]

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/fiveyearold-girl-survives-getting-trapped-in-washing-machine-spin-cycle-in-america-9708416.html 

 

 

[Merging Cultures]

Animals eat anything:

http://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/2014-X-Ray-Contest-Winners/

[The Doctor]

Someone is trying to ban peppa pig

 

The ban Peppa Pig campaign appears to have been started by Zayn Sheikh, from Bradford, after he found his youngest child Abdullah watching the ‘abominable creature’

He was even more disgusted when the child informed him he no longer wanted to be a doctor, but instead wanted to be a pig.

 

       

[Jimothy]

Someone is trying to ban peppa pig

 

 

[/size]  [/size]  [/size]  [/size] [/size]

It was a joke.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/comedian-behind-ban-peppa-pig-4173708

[Leicesterpool]

A few days old this story but a guy pays £50,000 to kiss Liz Hurley http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2744648/Banking-heir-pays-50-000-lock-lips-Elizabeth-Hurley-charity-auction-Elton-Johns-glamorous-summer-ball.html

 

That's a bargain

[Alf Bentley]

A few days old this story but a guy pays £50,000 to kiss Liz Hurley http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2744648/Banking-heir-pays-50-000-lock-lips-Elizabeth-Hurley-charity-auction-Elton-Johns-glamorous-summer-ball.html

 

That's a bargain

 

Her ex (Hugh Grant) paid a good less for his oral pleasure a few years back...

[muzzycomeback]

https://in.news.yahoo.com/alabama-man-claims-penis-amputated-mistake-223249503.html?

 

Iv'e had this nightmare..

Reminds me of when you go in the barber and ask for a "bit off the top" and end up with a number 1 all over

[Rincewind]

Two years old but after seeing about Robin Hood in the Richard III thread I Googled for more info and found this. It is amusingly interesting

 

Spanish Robin Hood

 

Not amusing but related to the above Move if wrong place. This is from a BBC history page about Robin Hood it appears there were more than one at different times

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/british/middle_ages/robin_01.shtml

[Rincewind]

Found a link to this on an old blog of mine. Not really funny but it may amuse and one or two will be shaking their heads thinking what else can you expect from THEM.The nmre mature amongst you will shrug it off as BS and not find it funny.

 

http://www.gatestoneinstitute.org/2480/spain-dog-poisoning

[Webbo]

Found a link to this on an old blog of mine. It may amuse and one or two will be shaking their heads thinking what else can you expect from THEM.The nore mature amongst you will shrug it off as BS.

 

http://www.gatestoneinstitute.org/2480/spain-dog-poisoning

I can't imagine anyone will find that amusing and I really don't know what your point is. Are you hoping someone will go off on one so you can lecture us on how liberal you are?

[Rincewind]

I can't imagine anyone will find that amusing and I really don't know what your point is. Are you hoping someone will go off on one so you can lecture us on how liberal you are?

No

[Webbo]

No

Do you find it amusing? Do you think " what do you expect of THEM" or as a mature person do you think it's bs,and if so why did you post it?

[Mike Oxlong]

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/sep/19/indian-tv-news-anchor-chinese-president-xi-jinping-eleven

Oops!

[ozleicester]

If this wasnt real... it would be the funniest story ever.

 

 

http://www.theage.com.au/national/passenger-ejected-from-flight-over-notebook-doodles-20140920-10jrhs.html#ixzz3DqFQgVY4

 

 

"In a land of melting ice-creams, sandy feet and fluffy bears, how could anyone be fearful of terrorism."

 

 

 

Just shows how easily society is fooled by government fear campaigns, i can only laugh

[RobHawk]

http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/08/vandal-paints-penis-on-1-5-million-bugatti-veyron-4897317/

[sphericalfox]

Not quite amusing, but it just begs the question, declared sane?

 

http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/09/teenager-murdered-his-mother-then-lost-his-virginity-to-her-corpse-4899302/