ramboacdc Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 we've all been there mate. when my ex left with my daughter it was the worst break up ive ever had. eventually you will find someone else. hell i even managed to convert my new mrs to a leicester fan from derby!
z-layrex Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 Is a long story. Basically she's paranoid that I'm playing away and for once I've behaved. Not once cheated on her but she sees girls messaging me and just creates these scenarios. She's clearly been hurt in the past and I've somewhat tried to help reasure her. However I've had enough of the constant paranoia and checking and the like so I ended it. She's now saying she loves me and wants another go and she will change. All I want is to go gym . Why you messaging girls if you're with her anyway though? Don't care if it is 'just friendly', it's bad form. See this is why I hate phones, facebook, twitter and our entire shitty generation.
StanSP Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 Why you messaging girls if you're with her anyway though? Don't care if it is 'just friendly', it's bad form. See this is why I hate phones, facebook, twitter and our entire shitty generation. what? you can't text friends that may be female? this is bollocks . you are allowed friends that are girls and you should be allowed to talk to them if they're you're friends.
Alf Bentley Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 There might be something in what AoWW says, suggesting that her apparently unreasonable behaviour might be down to insecurity. That's not to express a view as to whether or not you should stick with her. Not knowing you or her, I haven't a clue about that. If she is acting unreasonably out of insecurity, I suppose it's worth asking yourself whether (maybe with your help) she might change - and whether there's otherwise enough of value in the relationship to make you want to try. It might (or might not) be a long, arduous task....that might or might not be worth it in the long run. Then again, some people just remain insecure long-term, so unless you want to become a caring, nurturing near father-figure, maybe that wouldn't be for you? Agony Uncle Alf
casablancas Posted 2 November 2015 Author Posted 2 November 2015 Why you messaging girls if you're with her anyway though? Don't care if it is 'just friendly', it's bad form. See this is why I hate phones, facebook, twitter and our entire shitty generation. You've had a mare mate. Boys don't like me, never have and never will. A fair few of my mates are of the fairer sex and she knew this when we started. My opinion is I will text whoever I want, it's the content that needs to respectful.
Guest Col city fan Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 How you feel immediately after the break up is entirely based on how you feel about the woman. I've had r/ships end where I've felt huge relief to be out of it. I've also had r/ships end where I've felt really upset about it sometimes for ages after. All depends how you feel about the person. Just because you think 'it's the right thing to do' to finish with someone, doesn't necessarily make it easy or nice to go through. Partners usually become a huge part of your life (I don't mean just kicking about with someone) and when they go there is a void to fill, whether the experience has been a good or a bad one. How I've usually managed that is by getting 'straight back on the bike' (so to speak), sometimes far too quickly. The longest I've been not in a r/ship is about 6 months.
VLC86 Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 I'm actually a nurse myself. And she's now messaging me asking me to reconsider. Proper pulling on the heart strings man, torn as to what to do. Go round, pork her, wipe your cock on the curtains and leave. Should make moving on a bit easier for her. Ps, don't do the above.
goose2010 Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 My ex left me had a house, were engaged I thought everything was going well then she just dropped the bombshell, we split up there and then and never even considered going back o her. I supported her all the way through uni going to Lancaster every weekend and literally she got a job and binned me off! I was single for about 18 months and had a great time. Then met my misses and been with her now for over two years, she is great and I thought I was in love with my ex but I definitely wasn't looking back.
pSinatra Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 There might be something in what AoWW says, suggesting that her apparently unreasonable behaviour might be down to insecurity. That's not to express a view as to whether or not you should stick with her. Not knowing you or her, I haven't a clue about that. If she is acting unreasonably out of insecurity, I suppose it's worth asking yourself whether (maybe with your help) she might change - and whether there's otherwise enough of value in the relationship to make you want to try. It might (or might not) be a long, arduous task....that might or might not be worth it in the long run. Then again, some people just remain insecure long-term, so unless you want to become a caring, nurturing near father-figure, maybe that wouldn't be for you? Agony Uncle Alf It's a long & arduous task in my experience. I guess it depends on exactly how 'damaged' that person is, but it's fecking hard work most of the time. I think I may well be the first person my missus has ever been with that has remained faithful. We've been together nearly 4 years & although she's better than she was, it's still very much an issue with her. I have never given her reason to suspect me of anything & she says she trusts me.........but I don't think she will ever trust anyone ever again 100%. It doesn't matter who it is. She comes out with me on jobs occasionally & will go quiet for no reason. Eventually she will say what's wrong & it turns out I was being over friendly with my customer. It's my job to be friendly with my customers & I might give them a bit of patter but they're in their 80's FFS. Her brother's gay & has a long-term boyfriend. I get on with them both & have a good laugh. I can see her looking at me disapprovingly. Really?? I've been with her long enough now that I know how to deal with it & what to say, but it's tiring & ultimately unattractive. I have a full-time job during the day & a part-time counselling job in the evenings. I've tried the 'caring & nurturing' but usually find the brutally frank approach works better. I guess what I'm trying to say, is confirming what you've said. I believe there is enough value in our relationship (although, not so sure reading this back?). Anyone needs to be sure that the person is the right person for them & see it as something worth the considerable effort required. If I was unsure of where it was going & whether she was worth it or not........I probably wouldn't bother. I've put in too much hard work to give up now.
Alf Bentley Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 Here you go Well, that would certainly offer you a different sort of sexual experience. I hope you're feeling accommodating, though, as he could have a lot of pent-up frustration after not being selected recently. Might want to let off a lot of steam, judging from that face.
Captain... Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 My only advice is don't go back. It's horrible breaking up with someone but and easy to 'give it another go' to ease the pain and the guilt, but it will be 10 times worse if you get back together and then have to do it again. I've never met anyone who has split up with someone, got back together and lasted any length of time. It's like ripping off a plaster, do it quickly and deal with the pain, don't stick it back on after you've done the hard part.
Alf Bentley Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 It's a long & arduous task in my experience. I guess it depends on exactly how 'damaged' that person is, but it's fecking hard work most of the time. I think I may well be the first person my missus has ever been with that has remained faithful. We've been together nearly 4 years & although she's better than she was, it's still very much an issue with her. I have never given her reason to suspect me of anything & she says she trusts me.........but I don't think she will ever trust anyone ever again 100%. It doesn't matter who it is. She comes out with me on jobs occasionally & will go quiet for no reason. Eventually she will say what's wrong & it turns out I was being over friendly with my customer. It's my job to be friendly with my customers & I might give them a bit of patter but they're in their 80's FFS. Her brother's gay & has a long-term boyfriend. I get on with them both & have a good laugh. I can see her looking at me disapprovingly. Really?? I've been with her long enough now that I know how to deal with it & what to say, but it's tiring & ultimately unattractive. I have a full-time job during the day & a part-time counselling job in the evenings. I've tried the 'caring & nurturing' but usually find the brutally frank approach works better. I guess what I'm trying to say, is confirming what you've said. I believe there is enough value in our relationship (although, not so sure reading this back?). Anyone needs to be sure that the person is the right person for them & see it as something worth the considerable effort required. If I was unsure of where it was going & whether she was worth it or not........I probably wouldn't bother. I've put in too much hard work to give up now. Can absolutely relate to this - though not so much regarding unfounded suspicions of infidelity. She knows no other woman would touch me with a bargepole these days. It's more insecurity about other issues: what other people might think of her etc. - and then not wanting to talk about possible solutions, just wanting emotional support for issues that are not addressed. As a very rational-based person, my instinctive response to a problem is to try to work out what it is and how to solve it, so I find the response expected of me massively frustrating and exhausting. It doesn't help that I have quite a dark sense of humour and enjoy silly wisecracks. Put it this way, I certainly related to this video (and yes, I did show it to her - she laughed through gritted teeth!):
tom27111 Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 We're missing some key information here. How hot is she? The answer to this gives you your answer. Yes, I'm shallow.
casablancas Posted 2 November 2015 Author Posted 2 November 2015 Honestly she's attractive however I've seen hotter. Punching above her weight maybe. I dunno.
Parafox Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 Of course she could have just been feeling insecure. That's what I was thinking given that he already admitted to being unfaithful in previous relationships.
Mike Oxlong Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 I'm actually a nurse myself. And she's now messaging me asking me to reconsider. Proper pulling on the heart strings man, torn as to what to do. Get in it then bin it.
Dr The Singh Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 Get in it then bin it.Great advice, you can never have enough 'good bye' shags
Stadt Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 Honestly she's attractive however I've seen hotter. Punching above her weight maybe. I dunno. We need pics man, send them via PM if you feel guilty about it
Dr The Singh Posted 2 November 2015 Posted 2 November 2015 We need pics man, send them via PM if you feel guilty about itHe makes a valid point, we need pics to complete the whole story. Otherwise its abit difficult to help you and her
UpTheLeagueFox Posted 3 November 2015 Posted 3 November 2015 She just is so paranoid and every time I get a text from an unrecognisable number she pounces on me. You've dodged a bullet there mate. Onwards and upwards.
UpTheLeagueFox Posted 3 November 2015 Posted 3 November 2015 As a very rational-based person, my instinctive response to a problem is to try to work out what it is and how to solve it, so I find the response expected of me massively frustrating and exhausting. It doesn't help that I have quite a dark sense of humour and enjoy silly wisecracks. That sounds just like me. I'd like to meet a rational woman. I can't be doing with irrational people.
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