Depression

[ozleicester]

21 minutes ago, spacemunky said:

You know you're doing well when it's 4:45 am and you've walked a mile in the rain to the local coffee shop.

I REALLY hope its open

 

[PAULCFC]

On 28/09/2019 at 08:26, ozleicester said:

I dont know whether to "like" this, or "sad" this... both i guess.

 

Sorry to hear about your parents, but really glad to hear you are on the improve 

Thank you for that!I really do think i'm in a better place at the moment.The last few month's have really put me through it,but i can see a better future,probably without my parents.But two great kid's and a great wife!Didn't think my parents getting sick was going to do this much to me ,as we were never that close...but it has!

[HybridFox]

For us strugglers out there who continue to soldier on, brick wall after brick wall. When we get out of this slump, bloody hell it'll be the sweetest of victories!

[Rain King]

Really really struggling. 

My mood and happiness depends entirely on how my kids are getting on. 

My 8 year old was ill last week and was off for a couple of days. He went back on Thursday and last night got all upset telling us his 'friends' who he has been close to since he started wouldn't let him join in to play on Thursday or Friday. This might seem trivial but it is a massive kick in the guts to me. I just can't handle the thought of him being alone and upset. Any time either kid has an issue it sets me back massively and I can't cope. 

[spacemunky]

26 minutes ago, pds said:

Really really struggling. 

My mood and happiness depends entirely on how my kids are getting on. 

My 8 year old was ill last week and was off for a couple of days. He went back on Thursday and last night got all upset telling us his 'friends' who he has been close to since he started wouldn't let him join in to play on Thursday or Friday. This might seem trivial but it is a massive kick in the guts to me. I just can't handle the thought of him being alone and upset. Any time either kid has an issue it sets me back massively and I can't cope. 

Tough sometimes being a kid. I remember once the whole group of neighbourhood kids turned on me. Worst of all it was winter and there was a snowball fight. Me vs everyone else. I didn't win that one

 

Anyway, we all were friends again in the next few days. Probably something stupid and was quickly forgotten.

 

 

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, pds said:

Really really struggling. 

My mood and happiness depends entirely on how my kids are getting on. 

My 8 year old was ill last week and was off for a couple of days. He went back on Thursday and last night got all upset telling us his 'friends' who he has been close to since he started wouldn't let him join in to play on Thursday or Friday. This might seem trivial but it is a massive kick in the guts to me. I just can't handle the thought of him being alone and upset. Any time either kid has an issue it sets me back massively and I can't cope. 

My first thought when reading this is how lucky your kids are to have such a loving and caring parent.

 

My second thought was that you've got to try and 'let go' a bit and accept that shit happens to our kids and we can't control things outside our influence (like their friends being cvnts to them or them being ill)

 

Trust me, when my kids have been ill or been bullied, it's the worst feeling in the world. That feeling of helplessness and gut wrenching pain of not being able to do anything is awful. 

 

But I've come to accept that I can't be there for them 24/7 and at some stage they're going to need to fight their own battles and figure out their own way in life. It's all part of growing up and eventually becoming independent and all we can do as parents is love them and try to bring them up the best we can.

 

I still find it difficult not to wrap my kids up in cotton wool because I want to protect them from the big nasty world outside but I've got to let them have space to learn things for themselves - both good and bad. Yes I'll feel bad when they feel bad but I can't allow their experience of life to make mine miserable in the process. They need me to be strong, impartial, positive and encouraging - not wallowing in self pity with them.

 

I'd also try and 're-frame' your thinking because you're telling yourself that your mood and happiness depends entirely on how your kids are getting on. This isn't really true but you believe it is, so it's becoming a self fulfilling prophecy. Maybe next time they're struggling, tell yourself that it's only temporary, they'll get through it, and they'll learn something from the experience instead.

 

Putting a different spin on it means you won't always feel shit too - and you don't have to. 

 

[Rain King]

2 hours ago, Izzy said:

My first thought when reading this is how lucky your kids are to have such a loving and caring parent.

 

My second thought was that you've got to try and 'let go' a bit and accept that shit happens to our kids and we can't control things outside our influence (like their friends being cvnts to them or them being ill)

 

Trust me, when my kids have been ill or been bullied, it's the worst feeling in the world. That feeling of helplessness and gut wrenching pain of not being able to do anything is awful. 

 

But I've come to accept that I can't be there for them 24/7 and at some stage they're going to need to fight their own battles and figure out their own way in life. It's all part of growing up and eventually becoming independent and all we can do as parents is love them and try to bring them up the best we can.

 

I still find it difficult not to wrap my kids up in cotton wool because I want to protect them from the big nasty world outside but I've got to let them have space to learn things for themselves - both good and bad. Yes I'll feel bad when they feel bad but I can't allow their experience of life to make mine miserable in the process. They need me to be strong, impartial, positive and encouraging - not wallowing in self pity with them.

 

I'd also try and 're-frame' your thinking because you're telling yourself that your mood and happiness depends entirely on how your kids are getting on. This isn't really true but you believe it is, so it's becoming a self fulfilling prophecy. Maybe next time they're struggling, tell yourself that it's only temporary, they'll get through it, and they'll learn something from the experience instead.

 

Putting a different spin on it means you won't always feel shit too - and you don't have to. 

 

Thanks for the reply it is appreciated. I find it massively hard to let go. He's the nicest, friendliest kid but massively shy so always seems to get left at the back and forgotten about in favour of the loud kids. I think due to his problems early in life (9 weeks premature and pneumonia twice in his first 5 years) I am really over protective. 

[Izzy]

36 minutes ago, pds said:

Thanks for the reply it is appreciated. I find it massively hard to let go. He's the nicest, friendliest kid but massively shy so always seems to get left at the back and forgotten about in favour of the loud kids. I think due to his problems early in life (9 weeks premature and pneumonia twice in his first 5 years) I am really over protective. 

Totally understandable mate. My 10 year old is the fat one in the class who always picked last at football  Sounds to me like your boy is a fighter though having gone through what he has a such a young age - you must be very proud of him.

 

Yet history is littered with stories of shy and fat schoolkids who've been ill and end up being bloody brilliant in life and turn out to be fantastic human beings. In my experience, the 'loud' ones at that age often turn out to be some of life's arseholes.

 

Of course you're protective, that's our job as parents. But when that over protection leads to our own unhappiness, we're not being fair on ourselves. I once read a poem called 'Your children are not your children' which basically says they're just 'on loan' to us anyway at this age and will soon be old enough to be independent and their own person.

 

We can only try and give them the best grounding and hope our best efforts pays dividends in the long run. I guess the danger of 'over protecting' our children is that it can make them 'over-sensitive' adults. This article explains it well...

 

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-long-term-effects-overprotective-parents-have-on-us-62249

 

 

[Rain King]

29 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Totally understandable mate. My 10 year old is the fat one in the class who always picked last at football  Sounds to me like your boy is a fighter though having gone through what he has a such a young age - you must be very proud of him.

 

Yet history is littered with stories of shy and fat schoolkids who've been ill and end up being bloody brilliant in life and turn out to be fantastic human beings. In my experience, the 'loud' ones at that age often turn out to be some of life's arseholes.

 

Of course you're protective, that's our job as parents. But when that over protection leads to our own unhappiness, we're not being fair on ourselves. I once read a poem called 'Your children are not your children' which basically says they're just 'on loan' to us anyway at this age and will soon be old enough to be independent and their own person.

 

We can only try and give them the best grounding and hope our best efforts pays dividends in the long run. I guess the danger of 'over protecting' our children is that it can make them 'over-sensitive' adults. This article explains it well...

 

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-long-term-effects-overprotective-parents-have-on-us-62249

 

 

Once again many thanks for your reply. You don't have to do that but you did and it is massively appreciated. I've read those articles and completely agree. I try my best to let him deal with things on his own and usually do by and large but it's just hard when you want to be a helping hand for him when he's struggling. 

[spacemunky]

Went to counselling today for with this place that specializes in alcohol abuse. Was a one on one and tomorrow I'm doing the group thing. 

 

The service is free and in the very least it will look good I'm dealing with the situation ahead of a court appearance later this month.

[Jattdogg]

12 hours ago, spacemunky said:

Went to counselling today for with this place that specializes in alcohol abuse. Was a one on one and tomorrow I'm doing the group thing. 

 

The service is free and in the very least it will look good I'm dealing with the situation ahead of a court appearance later this month.

Hope you get things right mate and life changes for the better. My FIL had a problem and went to alcoholics anonymous or whatever its called. Worked but he has some other deep rooted issues and still drinks but nowhere near the level he was at before.

[spacemunky]

Finished my first 90 minute group session for addicts. Seems like the class was mixed between drinkers and drug users. One bloke, who's a cokehead, just kept talking over the instructor the whole time. Super fvcking annoying.

 

As I was heading out I remembered that there's a liquor store across the street. I grab a 40 of Vodka and I'm standing in line when I notice the young woman behind me was from the class. She also had a bottle of Vodka.

 

Five more classes and I get a certificate! 

 

 

[Jattdogg]

5 minutes ago, spacemunky said:

Finished my first 90 minute group session for addicts. Seems like the class was mixed between drinkers and drug users. One bloke, who's a cokehead, just kept talking over the instructor the whole time. Super fvcking annoying.

 

As I was heading out I remembered that there's a liquor store across the street. I grab a 40 of Vodka and I'm standing in line when I notice the young woman behind me was from the class. She also had a bottle of Vodka.

 

Five more classes and I get a certificate! 

 

 

Mrs Vardy might rat you out to your group!

[CollinsLCFC]

Hi Guys

 

Ive been on and off this thread for a while. Never knew if to speak up, if I did what to say. I feel its good to talk and there is something strange but comforting in talking to strangers, but strangers who understand and can empathise. 

 

I recently attempted to take my own life following a seperation from my partner. We have been together for 5 years, living together for 3 and out relationship has been perfect. No bumps. We are both socially awkward people and understand each other. We are best friends and can hold conversations you can't have with anyone else. She decided to break things off with me as she likes someone she works with. 

 

I couldn't and still can't comprehend why. But I can't change that. Because everything was so perfect and this literally came out the blue after a few perfect days together, it got too much for me. I felt worthless and felt like I had nowhere to go. I went to my Parents but they aren't the best for advice or comfort. They love me but they see it as a young love bird break up. I went to see a friend who is brilliant, he listened, talked, made me laugh, like cry with laughter. But as soon as I got home, the dark feeling came back. I was googling ways to do it painlessly, and I tried to suffocate myself. 

 

I didn't indicate to anyone I was going to do it, but in a moment of madness the pain got too much. I wrote a 3 page letter and attempted. 

 

I don't want this to be the option, I have family, friends who it would destroy. But when it's in your head it's scary. When it happened, I didn't think of anything or anyone else, I only focused on ending it. 

 

I went to the doctors today. They haven't prescribed me any meds as they say it can increase the depression and anxiety. 

 

I'm just trying to get through day by day at the moment. Searching for any comfort I can to stop this feeling. 

 

Thank you in advance for any responses given. The people on here are like no other. I've seen the comfort and good words you give to others and it is truely amazing. 

[Lionator]

27 minutes ago, CollinsLCFC said:

Hi Guys

 

Ive been on and off this thread for a while. Never knew if to speak up, if I did what to say. I feel its good to talk and there is something strange but comforting in talking to strangers, but strangers who understand and can empathise. 

 

I recently attempted to take my own life following a seperation from my partner. We have been together for 5 years, living together for 3 and out relationship has been perfect. No bumps. We are both socially awkward people and understand each other. We are best friends and can hold conversations you can't have with anyone else. She decided to break things off with me as she likes someone she works with. 

 

I couldn't and still can't comprehend why. But I can't change that. Because everything was so perfect and this literally came out the blue after a few perfect days together, it got too much for me. I felt worthless and felt like I had nowhere to go. I went to my Parents but they aren't the best for advice or comfort. They love me but they see it as a young love bird break up. I went to see a friend who is brilliant, he listened, talked, made me laugh, like cry with laughter. But as soon as I got home, the dark feeling came back. I was googling ways to do it painlessly, and I tried to suffocate myself. 

 

I didn't indicate to anyone I was going to do it, but in a moment of madness the pain got too much. I wrote a 3 page letter and attempted. 

 

I don't want this to be the option, I have family, friends who it would destroy. But when it's in your head it's scary. When it happened, I didn't think of anything or anyone else, I only focused on ending it. 

 

I went to the doctors today. They haven't prescribed me any meds as they say it can increase the depression and anxiety. 

 

I'm just trying to get through day by day at the moment. Searching for any comfort I can to stop this feeling. 

 

Thank you in advance for any responses given. The people on here are like no other. I've seen the comfort and good words you give to others and it is truely amazing. 

Well done for speaking out, we're all here for you! 

 

With break ups, the main advice that I will give is that time is the best healer. You are going to hurt like mad for those first few weeks, deep emotional pain, tears will flow and everything will seem worthless. Little hints of your ex will make it worse. You just have to hang in there, and one day sure enough, those clouds will starts lifting. People survive break ups and find their new normal. Accept and embrace the sadness, it's part of the human experience and you'll be stronger for it.

 

If you do feel suicidal, please call the Samaritans (116 123), there's no shame and it's completely anonymous, believe me, they've heard EVERYTHING and will know what to do in the situation. Even 999 is an option. Keep updating us on here, it's always helped me to offload to strangers on the internet!!

[HighPeakFox]

26 minutes ago, CollinsLCFC said:

Hi Guys

 

Ive been on and off this thread for a while. Never knew if to speak up, if I did what to say. I feel its good to talk and there is something strange but comforting in talking to strangers, but strangers who understand and can empathise. 

 

I recently attempted to take my own life following a seperation from my partner. We have been together for 5 years, living together for 3 and out relationship has been perfect. No bumps. We are both socially awkward people and understand each other. We are best friends and can hold conversations you can't have with anyone else. She decided to break things off with me as she likes someone she works with. 

 

I couldn't and still can't comprehend why. But I can't change that. Because everything was so perfect and this literally came out the blue after a few perfect days together, it got too much for me. I felt worthless and felt like I had nowhere to go. I went to my Parents but they aren't the best for advice or comfort. They love me but they see it as a young love bird break up. I went to see a friend who is brilliant, he listened, talked, made me laugh, like cry with laughter. But as soon as I got home, the dark feeling came back. I was googling ways to do it painlessly, and I tried to suffocate myself. 

 

I didn't indicate to anyone I was going to do it, but in a moment of madness the pain got too much. I wrote a 3 page letter and attempted. 

 

I don't want this to be the option, I have family, friends who it would destroy. But when it's in your head it's scary. When it happened, I didn't think of anything or anyone else, I only focused on ending it. 

 

I went to the doctors today. They haven't prescribed me any meds as they say it can increase the depression and anxiety. 

 

I'm just trying to get through day by day at the moment. Searching for any comfort I can to stop this feeling. 

 

Thank you in advance for any responses given. The people on here are like no other. I've seen the comfort and good words you give to others and it is truely amazing. 

First of all, well done for writing this. It is another small step away from darkness.

 

I won't try to lecture you or 'advise' as such. What I would say is that when I was younger, I allowed relationships to entirely dictate my mood and thought that every feeling I had was permanent and that I would never recover. I've never tried to take my own life, but at one stage a long time ago I was so sleep deprived, distressed and lonely that it felt as though life was draining out of me. It was a bad pattern, and eventually it broke, and I started to get better.

 

Just try to remember that as time passes, part of the human condition allows us to move on - it's the only reason that the death of people we love doesn't drive us all insane. Your feelings are real - grieve the passing of the relationship, allow yourself to feel angry, confused and upset - but in time I hope for you that you can then let them go and you can start the next phase of your life.

 

Go well.

[PAULCFC]

44 minutes ago, CollinsLCFC said:

Hi Guys

 

Ive been on and off this thread for a while. Never knew if to speak up, if I did what to say. I feel its good to talk and there is something strange but comforting in talking to strangers, but strangers who understand and can empathise. 

 

I recently attempted to take my own life following a seperation from my partner. We have been together for 5 years, living together for 3 and out relationship has been perfect. No bumps. We are both socially awkward people and understand each other. We are best friends and can hold conversations you can't have with anyone else. She decided to break things off with me as she likes someone she works with. 

 

I couldn't and still can't comprehend why. But I can't change that. Because everything was so perfect and this literally came out the blue after a few perfect days together, it got too much for me. I felt worthless and felt like I had nowhere to go. I went to my Parents but they aren't the best for advice or comfort. They love me but they see it as a young love bird break up. I went to see a friend who is brilliant, he listened, talked, made me laugh, like cry with laughter. But as soon as I got home, the dark feeling came back. I was googling ways to do it painlessly, and I tried to suffocate myself. 

 

I didn't indicate to anyone I was going to do it, but in a moment of madness the pain got too much. I wrote a 3 page letter and attempted. 

 

I don't want this to be the option, I have family, friends who it would destroy. But when it's in your head it's scary. When it happened, I didn't think of anything or anyone else, I only focused on ending it. 

 

I went to the doctors today. They haven't prescribed me any meds as they say it can increase the depression and anxiety. 

 

I'm just trying to get through day by day at the moment. Searching for any comfort I can to stop this feeling. 

 

Thank you in advance for any responses given. The people on here are like no other. I've seen the comfort and good words you give to others and it is truely amazing. 

Go back to the doctor's mate.You sound in a worse state than me when i did.When i first went to the doc's he asked me if i had suicidal thoughts and to be honest i had,but nothing i would carry out (as i'm not that brave!) the first couple of weeks on meds are bad for that kind of thing.Try and take someone with you that knows you very well(i was made to go by my wife).More importantly be honest,that was my mistake bottling it all up for years and just remember their is allways people on here to "talk"to.

Edited 9 October 2019 by PAULCFC

[Lionator]

I'm not depressed however I'm in a very stressful situation. Having just moved back to Leicester from Nottingham, I moved into a new rented house in Leicester 2 weeks ago. The tenancy is for 6 months. To put it bluntly it was a complete mistake. Having rented before I know the difference between a good and bad gaff. There's 6 housemates, it's noisy at all hours as housemates do shift work, one housemate makes the most rancid food you've ever seen/smelt. Things are broken. It's awful and I feel that the agent sold me a lie. My parents live in the area and there's a room there for me there if I need it. The issue I have is that it's already causing me sleeping problems and anxiety attacks and as somebody who spent years finding ways to manage anxiety, I feel that staying here for any considerable amount of time could really send me down a dark path again. 

 

Do I bite the bullet and leave that house and if so has anybody got any experience of ending a fixed tenancy early?

[whoareyaaa]

23 minutes ago, Lionator said:

I'm not depressed however I'm in a very stressful situation. Having just moved back to Leicester from Nottingham, I moved into a new rented house in Leicester 2 weeks ago. The tenancy is for 6 months. To put it bluntly it was a complete mistake. Having rented before I know the difference between a good and bad gaff. There's 6 housemates, it's noisy at all hours as housemates do shift work, one housemate makes the most rancid food you've ever seen/smelt. Things are broken. It's awful and I feel that the agent sold me a lie. My parents live in the area and there's a room there for me there if I need it. The issue I have is that it's already causing me sleeping problems and anxiety attacks and as somebody who spent years finding ways to manage anxiety, I feel that staying here for any considerable amount of time could really send me down a dark path again. 

 

Do I bite the bullet and leave that house and if so has anybody got any experience of ending a fixed tenancy early?

Why stay somewhere that is having a negative effect on you when you have a room at your parents, regarding the tenancy get the Ombudsman involved if you have any issues

[Izzy]

59 minutes ago, Lionator said:

I'm not depressed however I'm in a very stressful situation. Having just moved back to Leicester from Nottingham, I moved into a new rented house in Leicester 2 weeks ago. The tenancy is for 6 months. To put it bluntly it was a complete mistake. Having rented before I know the difference between a good and bad gaff. There's 6 housemates, it's noisy at all hours as housemates do shift work, one housemate makes the most rancid food you've ever seen/smelt. Things are broken. It's awful and I feel that the agent sold me a lie. My parents live in the area and there's a room there for me there if I need it. The issue I have is that it's already causing me sleeping problems and anxiety attacks and as somebody who spent years finding ways to manage anxiety, I feel that staying here for any considerable amount of time could really send me down a dark path again. 

 

Do I bite the bullet and leave that house and if so has anybody got any experience of ending a fixed tenancy early?

I think you've already answered your own question buddy 

[Wymsey]

11 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I think you've already answered your own question buddy 

This, to be honest.

 

Plus, it's probably recommended that you decide to stay at your parents during this situation for however long you want.

They will likely give you the moral support you need to allow you decide what's best for you from here, as the longer this situation goes on for (even just temporarily) the more anxious you could get from being in that situation imo.

[Izzy]

2 hours ago, CollinsLCFC said:

Hi Guys

 

Ive been on and off this thread for a while. Never knew if to speak up, if I did what to say. I feel its good to talk and there is something strange but comforting in talking to strangers, but strangers who understand and can empathise. 

 

I recently attempted to take my own life following a seperation from my partner. We have been together for 5 years, living together for 3 and out relationship has been perfect. No bumps. We are both socially awkward people and understand each other. We are best friends and can hold conversations you can't have with anyone else. She decided to break things off with me as she likes someone she works with. 

 

I couldn't and still can't comprehend why. But I can't change that. Because everything was so perfect and this literally came out the blue after a few perfect days together, it got too much for me. I felt worthless and felt like I had nowhere to go. I went to my Parents but they aren't the best for advice or comfort. They love me but they see it as a young love bird break up. I went to see a friend who is brilliant, he listened, talked, made me laugh, like cry with laughter. But as soon as I got home, the dark feeling came back. I was googling ways to do it painlessly, and I tried to suffocate myself. 

 

I didn't indicate to anyone I was going to do it, but in a moment of madness the pain got too much. I wrote a 3 page letter and attempted. 

 

I don't want this to be the option, I have family, friends who it would destroy. But when it's in your head it's scary. When it happened, I didn't think of anything or anyone else, I only focused on ending it. 

 

I went to the doctors today. They haven't prescribed me any meds as they say it can increase the depression and anxiety. 

 

I'm just trying to get through day by day at the moment. Searching for any comfort I can to stop this feeling. 

 

Thank you in advance for any responses given. The people on here are like no other. I've seen the comfort and good words you give to others and it is truely amazing. 

It's really important you keep talking mate - to anyone.

 

You're lonely and when we're alone it's difficult to cope. I know you probably don't feel like it, but go and see your family and friends and tell them what's happened. Your brilliant friend will probably be more than happy to put you up for a bit or stay at yours if you ask him. People want to help, so ask them for help.

 

Or just post whatever you want on here at anytime. Or DM anyone on this thread if you fancy a chat off-line. We know what you're going through and we're all here to listen and support you. One big Foxes family.

 

Just don't suffer in silence. You're in pain but you will get through this over time. Hang in there buddy.

[CollinsLCFC]

3 hours ago, Lionator said:

Well done for speaking out, we're all here for you! 

 

With break ups, the main advice that I will give is that time is the best healer. You are going to hurt like mad for those first few weeks, deep emotional pain, tears will flow and everything will seem worthless. Little hints of your ex will make it worse. You just have to hang in there, and one day sure enough, those clouds will starts lifting. People survive break ups and find their new normal. Accept and embrace the sadness, it's part of the human experience and you'll be stronger for it.

 

If you do feel suicidal, please call the Samaritans (116 123), there's no shame and it's completely anonymous, believe me, they've heard EVERYTHING and will know what to do in the situation. Even 999 is an option. Keep updating us on here, it's always helped me to offload to strangers on the internet!!

 

3 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

First of all, well done for writing this. It is another small step away from darkness.

 

I won't try to lecture you or 'advise' as such. What I would say is that when I was younger, I allowed relationships to entirely dictate my mood and thought that every feeling I had was permanent and that I would never recover. I've never tried to take my own life, but at one stage a long time ago I was so sleep deprived, distressed and lonely that it felt as though life was draining out of me. It was a bad pattern, and eventually it broke, and I started to get better.

 

Just try to remember that as time passes, part of the human condition allows us to move on - it's the only reason that the death of people we love doesn't drive us all insane. Your feelings are real - grieve the passing of the relationship, allow yourself to feel angry, confused and upset - but in time I hope for you that you can then let them go and you can start the next phase of your life.

 

Go well.

 

3 hours ago, PAULCFC said:

Go back to the doctor's mate.You sound in a worse state than me when i did.When i first went to the doc's he asked me if i had suicidal thoughts and to be honest i had,but nothing i would carry out (as i'm not that brave!) the first couple of weeks on meds are bad for that kind of thing.Try and take someone with you that knows you very well(i was made to go by my wife).More importantly be honest,that was my mistake bottling it all up for years and just remember their is allways people on here to "talk"to.

 

55 minutes ago, Izzy said:

It's really important you keep talking mate - to anyone.

 

You're lonely and when we're alone it's difficult to cope. I know you probably don't feel like it, but go and see your family and friends and tell them what's happened. Your brilliant friend will probably be more than happy to put you up for a bit or stay at yours if you ask him. People want to help, so ask them for help.

 

Or just post whatever you want on here at anytime. Or DM anyone on this thread if you fancy a chat off-line. We know what you're going through and we're all here to listen and support you. One big Foxes family.

 

Just don't suffer in silence. You're in pain but you will get through this over time. Hang in there buddy.

Cheers all for your replies, advice, words of comfort. It really does give a good feeling in times like these. 

 

I know time is a healer, and as we all know, it's so so difficult to get through that time. I have made a promise to myself I'll call out for help when I feel like there is now way out. I owe it to my friends, all of you and most importantly myself. 

 

I am so honestly grateful for everyone who offers a stranger a hand in times like these and the Fox's family quote made me tear up. This great club has allowed us to console in each other and help each other. 

 

Love and respect to each and every one of you. 

[ajthefox]

32 minutes ago, CollinsLCFC said:

 

 

 

Cheers all for your replies, advice, words of comfort. It really does give a good feeling in times like these. 

 

I know time is a healer, and as we all know, it's so so difficult to get through that time. I have made a promise to myself I'll call out for help when I feel like there is now way out. I owe it to my friends, all of you and most importantly myself. 

 

I am so honestly grateful for everyone who offers a stranger a hand in times like these and the Fox's family quote made me tear up. This great club has allowed us to console in each other and help each other. 

 

Love and respect to each and every one of you. 

I don't think I've got much to say that hasn't already been said mate but I do just want to say that I hear you and I know the struggle.

 

Well done for coming on here and finally hitting submit - talking really is the first step and I'm sure anyone who has contributed to this thread before has written one or two messages and then got rid of it before. Don't underestimate how important and how big of a step it is to admit to those thoughts, to admit you tried to kill yourself. 

 

Keep talking to who you can, anyone who will listen. Keep posting on here too and know that there are people here who understand and will support without judgement. 

It's only a few months ago that I started telling those close to me that I had been thinking about killing myself and the response was overwhelmingly positive. 

 

It sounds like a cheesy thing to say, but it is always darkest before the dawn. Things will get better mate, keep going and take comfort in every little victory along the way.

 

As a general note to all - it's World Mental Health Day tomorrow (Thursday). Do what you can to get the word out and let others know it's ok to speak up.

 

[HybridFox]

Has anyone ever taken a prolonged break from work to focus on their mental health? I've tried meds, CBT and counselling but ultimately whichever technique I've used, the underlying factor is I'm exhausted and so mentally drained. It's getting worse and I'm scared it's becoming suicidal. I feel I really need to take a step back away from all the stress and take some time out for myself to recuperate. Not just a holiday but I'm thinking a few months to do things I enjoy and try and build up my confidence and general health again.

 

I'm just interested to know how people have approached that discussion. Have you gone to the employer directly? Was any sort of medical assessment involved?

 

I've got a fair amount in my savings over the years so whether it's paid or unpaid leave is not really of primary concern at this stage. It's just how to make that initial step. Not sure how my family will react either but I can't let things go on as they are.

Edited 9 October 2019 by TK95