Depression

[urban.spaceman]

22 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Having a ****ing whale of a time here in Ireland reconnecting with my Botswana family! these are the GOOD times that we all strive for.

Jaysus how ****ing drunk was I last night?! 

Edited 17 September 2019 by urban.spaceman

[UniFox21]

Job hunting is incredibly humbling and hugely demoralizing. Wasn't expecting it to be easy, but it's not fun at all.  

 

Struggling a bit I have to say. 

 

I was offered a job, but the advert and interview seemed to have misrepresented what the job actually is. The pay combined with commuting costs etc mean it's not really viable for the long term. Tried to explain this to the employer and he hasn't seemed to understand any of it which is a real sucker as well

[ozleicester]

1 hour ago, UniFox21 said:

Job hunting is incredibly humbling and hugely demoralizing. Wasn't expecting it to be easy, but it's not fun at all.  

 

Struggling a bit I have to say. 

 

I was offered a job, but the advert and interview seemed to have misrepresented what the job actually is. The pay combined with commuting costs etc mean it's not really viable for the long term. Tried to explain this to the employer and he hasn't seemed to understand any of it which is a real sucker as well

job hunting and unemployment are hugely depressing and really difficult, but stick with it and try not to let it affect your self opinion. The employers are looking for someone and they can be absurdly specific, if you dont get the job, its not your fault.

[String fellow]

I found out years ago that not only is paid job hunting utterly depressing, but so is the process of trying to find voluntary work. The assumption seems to be that everyone is a criminal unless they can prove otherwise. And who controls the volunteer workers - folk who get paid to do so! Only fools and horses work, and bigger fools do voluntary work! 

[Wymsey]

Might be a bit off-topic, this..

 

Am not currently unemployed, but can remember the time where, after interviews, were stressful.

Even if you prepared well for them but you still get 'rejected', it really does hurt personally - to the point where you question whether you can get any job, if you can't get past the interview stage.

 

A horrible thought, and have sympathies to those with the same mindset/in that situation currently.

[spacemunky]

Anytime I have an interview I just watch this first:

 

 

[String fellow]

The hurt felt by being rejected at an interview is magnified 10 times when you're selected for redundancy. I know from experience, hence my location pun. The usual excuse employers give is that the job is redundant, and it's nothing personal. In fact, that's almost always complete and utter b*ll*cks. Once you're out of the door, they'll give your job to the person who regularly buys the boss a lunchtime drink.

[Rain King]

Really just had enough at the minute. 

[UniFox21]

12 hours ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Might be a bit off-topic, this..

 

Am not currently unemployed, but can remember the time where, after interviews, were stressful.

Even if you prepared well for them but you still get 'rejected', it really does hurt personally - to the point where you question whether you can get any job, if you can't get past the interview stage.

 

A horrible thought, and have sympathies to those with the same mindset/in that situation currently.

It's not fun reading through a job description/ person spec and knowing you match most of if not all of the list. Spending time perfecting your application to clearly show and highlight you can do all they want and then not hearing anything back at all. 

I do start to question whether I'm making up my ability or qualifications at times.

[ajthefox]

I think the other thing to remember is just because you don't get the job, it doesn't mean you don't have a great set of skills or that you aren't good enough for the job. It can be extremely demoralising not hearing anything back from jobs you apply for but it's not personal, it's quite conceivable that you could be applying for positions with tens, even hundreds of applicants and it's likely some of them may just be slightly more suited to the role.

Keep going.

[TiffToff88]

Is there anyone in here who has experience with a spouse/partner with depression? I could use some advice regarding my wife. If you could PM me i'd appreciate it - its probably not appropriate to discuss it publicly in here, it might give off the wrong vibe. Thanks!

[Kopic]

On 23/09/2019 at 23:23, UniFox21 said:

Job hunting is incredibly humbling and hugely demoralizing. Wasn't expecting it to be easy, but it's not fun at all.  

 

Struggling a bit I have to say. 

 

I was offered a job, but the advert and interview seemed to have misrepresented what the job actually is. The pay combined with commuting costs etc mean it's not really viable for the long term. Tried to explain this to the employer and he hasn't seemed to understand any of it which is a real sucker as well

 

I've been in this boat for a while now but I'd imagine vastly different circumstances. I've been in the same job since I was 18, and it happened to be my first job and first interview. I went to uni, doing something i am passionate about, and then immediately after graduation went to prison for something i did age 16 (yes it really took that long). I was fortunate enough to have my same job when I got out (I was still seasonal at the time), but obviously wanted to move on to something I could use my degree. I applied for lots of jobs, got 1 interview. I was probably over qualified for the role, but with no experience for a year-ish, and smashed the interview, and they never even got back to me. 

 

I'm still in that same job now, but my body is struggling (its manual labour). I've had a recent recurring injury which has led to a hell of a lot of absence. They tried to get rid of me last summer but the union stepped in. During that time I applied for more jobs. Had a couple interviews, noone got back to me. Then I got an interview for a job that sounded right up my street. Perfect for me (nothing to do with my degree but similar to my current job only a MASSIVE step up). After interview they offered me a trial shift, so I went a long. Smashed that, offered the job. Only then did they tell me it was a night shift role and the role was going to be relocated to Peterborough after 6 months. I absolutely couldn't agree to that so declined. Now, I've been off again for coming up to 2 months due to a dislocated shoulder and I'm getting really bad anxiety about my job. Doesn't help that I feel it's too late to work in my chosen field (graduated 6 years ago, no relevant experience for 6 years). I dread interviews and have even put off just applying for stuff the last few weeks.

 

2 hours ago, TiffToff88 said:

Is there anyone in here who has experience with a spouse/partner with depression? I could use some advice regarding my wife. If you could PM me i'd appreciate it - its probably not appropriate to discuss it publicly in here, it might give off the wrong vibe. Thanks!

I do, but I do not feel at all qualified to help. I just know how hard it is, and I hope you two are ok!

[TiffToff88]

3 minutes ago, Kopic said:

I do, but I do not feel at all qualified to help. I just know how hard it is, and I hope you two are ok!

If you've been through it then you will at least have some knowledge and experience in it. Would you mind if I PM you?

[stripeyfox]

On 23/09/2019 at 23:23, UniFox21 said:

Job hunting is incredibly humbling and hugely demoralizing. Wasn't expecting it to be easy, but it's not fun at all.  

 

Struggling a bit I have to say. 

 

I was offered a job, but the advert and interview seemed to have misrepresented what the job actually is. The pay combined with commuting costs etc mean it's not really viable for the long term. Tried to explain this to the employer and he hasn't seemed to understand any of it which is a real sucker as well

I could well be about to be in this boat. Been told I'm "at risk" at work. Not sure whether I'll get made redundant or not but is certainly a bit stressful in the meantime. Of course I have to carry on as normal while they decide.

 

Positives are that I've been there 20 years, the redundancy package is pretty good so I could walk away with a big chunk of money - which is fine as long as I can find another job!

 

Really not sure what to think at the moment, but it's not really in my hands. I think I'd be relieved if they give me the push as it could be the spur to make a change in direction but at the same time I've got a family to provide for and a mortgage to pay and even a £40K payout isn't going to last forever.

 

 

[Rain King]

Signed off for 2 weeks. Hate the feeling of being a liability and letting people/work down but felt like no other option. 

[UniFox21]

4 hours ago, Kopic said:

I've been in this boat for a while now but I'd imagine vastly different circumstances. I've been in the same job since I was 18, and it happened to be my first job and first interview. I went to uni, doing something i am passionate about, and then immediately after graduation went to prison for something i did age 16 (yes it really took that long). I was fortunate enough to have my same job when I got out (I was still seasonal at the time), but obviously wanted to move on to something I could use my degree. I applied for lots of jobs, got 1 interview. I was probably over qualified for the role, but with no experience for a year-ish, and smashed the interview, and they never even got back to me. 

 

I'm still in that same job now, but my body is struggling (its manual labour). I've had a recent recurring injury which has led to a hell of a lot of absence. They tried to get rid of me last summer but the union stepped in. During that time I applied for more jobs. Had a couple interviews, noone got back to me. Then I got an interview for a job that sounded right up my street. Perfect for me (nothing to do with my degree but similar to my current job only a MASSIVE step up). After interview they offered me a trial shift, so I went a long. Smashed that, offered the job. Only then did they tell me it was a night shift role and the role was going to be relocated to Peterborough after 6 months. I absolutely couldn't agree to that so declined. Now, I've been off again for coming up to 2 months due to a dislocated shoulder and I'm getting really bad anxiety about my job. Doesn't help that I feel it's too late to work in my chosen field (graduated 6 years ago, no relevant experience for 6 years). I dread interviews and have even put off just applying for stuff the last few weeks.

Mainly best of luck with whatever you choose to do mate.

But what we can both agree on, is that employers are dickheads, they know were mainly disposable and treat us as such. 

What was your degree field? 

It's never too late to get back into something you're passionate about. If you're in a comfortable place financially, you could take a step down to go into your preferred field. I guess it's about deciding if you'd be able to battle with a tight financial belt for a while to be in a field you enjoyed more.

[UniFox21]

4 hours ago, stripeyfox said:

I could well be about to be in this boat. Been told I'm "at risk" at work. Not sure whether I'll get made redundant or not but is certainly a bit stressful in the meantime. Of course I have to carry on as normal while they decide.

 

Positives are that I've been there 20 years, the redundancy package is pretty good so I could walk away with a big chunk of money - which is fine as long as I can find another job!

 

Really not sure what to think at the moment, but it's not really in my hands. I think I'd be relieved if they give me the push as it could be the spur to make a change in direction but at the same time I've got a family to provide for and a mortgage to pay and even a £40K payout isn't going to last forever.

 

 

Seems we're at almost opposite ends of the career spectrum here. However, If they've put you at risk, I'd be preparing my CV etc and starting to look for anything else being around. Whether that be in a different field or not. But it can't hurt to look to see what's around and be prepared incase the worst does happen. Even if you look at applications and just note down some key skills they look for so you can get your cv right. 

 

But 20years service I assume would count for a fair bit wage wise, so hopefully that would help. 

However, that's the worst case scenario, that may not happen for a while down the road. 

 

 

[Izzy]

For all those struggling with job hunting, interviews and rejections, I feel your pain. It's soul destroying and can fvck your confidence and self esteem.

 

I'm afraid the older I get the more I believe in the old saying that "It's not what you know, it's who you know".

 

My point being, fvck recruiters and the ball ache process of applying for jobs and get out there and network your ass off instead. Meet people through your network and make new contacts. Who do you know who know people in companies/sectors you want to work in?

 

Even if you're just out of Uni, start mapping out your network. Who do your friends Mums, Dad's, brothers and sisters work for and who do they know who might be able to help you? A big number of jobs still remain 'unadvertised' so put your feelers out. 

 

Just something else to consider...

[stripeyfox]

24 minutes ago, UniFox21 said:

Seems we're at almost opposite ends of the career spectrum here. However, If they've put you at risk, I'd be preparing my CV etc and starting to look for anything else being around. Whether that be in a different field or not. But it can't hurt to look to see what's around and be prepared incase the worst does happen. Even if you look at applications and just note down some key skills they look for so you can get your cv right. 

 

But 20years service I assume would count for a fair bit wage wise, so hopefully that would help. 

However, that's the worst case scenario, that may not happen for a while down the road. 

 

 

I've already started brushing up my CV but as Izzy alludes to, I'm probably more likely to find something from within my network but I can't really reach out to anyone just yet as it's all still up in the air. My job is in Sales / Customer Service and my company want to outsource my role overseas. Anyway I don't want to hijack the Depression thread with my job hunting but it can be very demoralising.

 

 

[Costock_Fox]

5 hours ago, pds said:

Signed off for 2 weeks. Hate the feeling of being a liability and letting people/work down but felt like no other option. 

I’m sure people don’t think you are a liability, it happens to a lot of people for one reason or another so I wouldn’t over think it.

 

Get better soon.

[ajthefox]

6 hours ago, pds said:

Signed off for 2 weeks. Hate the feeling of being a liability and letting people/work down but felt like no other option. 

Your health is number 1 priority mate and long term it is absolutely the best thing to do. You are not a liability and are not letting people down.

Clearly you care about the job and the people you work with, which suggests to me they care about you too. I'm sure they would far rather see you in a better place getting the time off you need and hopefully getting back to work in an improved frame of mind.

 

I was signed off for 4 weeks earlier this year and getting to that point was the catalyst for a new job in a new city and a vastly improved outlook for me. Looking back it seems kinda crazy how bad things had gotten. Hopefully a couple of weeks off is enough to see you right.

 

Take care of yourself and keep us posted.

[Guest Eamonn]

On 25/09/2019 at 16:15, pds said:

Signed off for 2 weeks. Hate the feeling of being a liability and letting people/work down but felt like no other option. 

Good for you for saying how you feel. I was off work for a few weeks once and hated it. Hope you are starting to feel better.

[PAULCFC]

So after 5 week's of the meds and a couple of weeks on the silverlight web site i feel good,even though my dad is in a home with alzemiers and i have just done 5 hour's with my mum in the General to find out she has bladder cancer!Don't think i would have coped without going to see the doc,because i was worrying about this for weeks!Now it's just explaing to my dad!

Edited 28 September 2019 by PAULCFC

[ozleicester]

6 hours ago, PAULCFC said:

So after 5 week's of the meds and a couple of weeks on the silverlight web site i feel good,even though my dad is in a home with alzemiers and i have just done 5 hour's with my mum in the General to find out she has bladder cancer!Don't think i would have coped without going to see the doc,because i was worrying about this for weeks!Now it's just explaing to my dad!

I dont know whether to "like" this, or "sad" this... both i guess.

 

Sorry to hear about your parents, but really glad to hear you are on the improve 

[spacemunky]

You know you're doing well when it's 4:45 am and you've walked a mile in the rain to the local coffee shop.