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Pinkman

Depression

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12 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Apologies if I've posted this before but I read a great book called 'Your Brain at Work' by David Rock a while ago.

 

Rock talks about us all having six human needs that need to be met at all times (a build on Maslows hierarchy of needs) and if any of these needs are not met at any one time, we can feels stressed, anxious, depressed etc.

 

He calls it the SCARF model and we all prioritize these needs differently during various stages of our life (but they're always vital to us)

 

1. Status - the need to stand out, be special, be recognized, be respected

2. Certainty - the need for regularity, order and control

3. Autonomy - the need to be masters of our own destiny, make our own decisions and manage our own lives

4. Relatedness - the need for love and connection

5. Fairness - the need for life to feel fair and that we're being treated equally

 

When it comes to video games for example, you could argue that playing them regularly gives you: 

 

1. Status (top of the leaderboard, better than your mates, completed the game)

2. Certainty (you know you can just turn it on and play and have hours of enjoyment) 

3. Autonomy (you decide what you play and when - no ones telling you what to do)

4. Relatedness (playing with others/friends and on-line maybe?)

5. Fairness (same rules for everyone)

 

That's why video games are so addictive - they meet all of Rock's human needs. If you think about going to the gym, you could argue similar.

 

One of the reasons people feel the world is collapsing around them is because it's an uncertain time. When we feel out of control, we turn to things that give us certainty in life. Another reason people don't want to work from home atm is that it doesn't give them the Relatedness they need.

 

So next time life doesn't feel right, maybe just think about which of these needs isn't being met and put something in place to meet it.

 

Works every time for me.

Thank you for your advice guys, I haven't heard of the SCARF model, but it most certainly answers a question on why Video Games has scratched that itch for so long in my life.

 

4 minutes ago, Lionator said:

Firstly, and this will apply for a lot of the population, the events of the last week or so have really accelerated and I think everybody is just a bit giddy at the prospect of disruption of this banal safety net of a 9-5 life that the majority of us are guided by. It will be a bit weird but it will pass whether that be a few weeks or 3/4 months and that's really important to remember. Unless stuff really hits the fan then it's highly unlikely that we'll go into a full lockdown Italy style and the extra couple of weeks we've had will hopefully divert us away from that. Either way there's a collective sense of PTSD. None of us have ever seen sports suspended before, it's a very first world problem when you think about it. We'll adjust, there's been worse periods in history, sitting at home for a few weeks is going to be weird but it's a short term sacrifice we have to make to protect our vulnerable friends, colleagues and relatives.

 

With regards to your personal situation, do you do any cardio at the gym or is it purely weightlifting. I say that on the basis that going out for a run will always be an option during this period, it could be a good way to keep active and perhaps improve your overall fitness while getting you into the fresh air and occupying your mind. During a similar nationwide closure due to Bubonic Plague (makes COVID-19 look very tame) in 1665 Isaac Newton devised his theory of something called gravity as well as introducing theories relating to calculus. While I'm not expecting you to make that kind of impact on the world, this period can be used productively. Learn something new, enrol in an online course, learn a new language, learn an instrument, even learn to juggle, these are all things that can be done in the comfort of your own home. Addiction is a nightmare and in times of stress it's easy to go to what feels safe, but you've made progress, this does not need to interrupt this.

Mainly weightlifting, struggle with any form of running... but will contemplate about giving it another go. I think you're absolutely right though, I could use this as an opportunity to try something new and apply myself in that manner.

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4 minutes ago, Rusko187 said:

Thank you for your advice guys, I haven't heard of the SCARF model, but it most certainly answers a question on why Video Games has scratched that itch for so long in my life.

 

Mainly weightlifting, struggle with any form of running... but will contemplate about giving it another go. I think you're absolutely right though, I could use this as an opportunity to try something new and apply myself in that manner.

Stuff like yoga might be a better alternative, get a workout up on youtube, maybe a few bodyweight exercises in the house to ensure you don't lose too much strength in the short term? There's options.

 

You'll find that you may slip up at some point and have a bit of gaming binge, but you know what, that's fine. As long as you're prepared to bounce back from that and recognise it for what it is. You've got this!

 

 

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If anyone is struggling with a bit of anxiety regarding the uncertainty at the moment then you can post on here. It's a new situation for all of us and it's perfectly normal and natural to feel uneasy about what's been happening and what may come. 

 

Here's a good resource on the Mind website.

 

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/#collapse7227d 

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8 hours ago, Lionator said:

If anyone is struggling with a bit of anxiety regarding the uncertainty at the moment then you can post on here. It's a new situation for all of us and it's perfectly normal and natural to feel uneasy about what's been happening and what may come. 

 

Here's a good resource on the Mind website.

 

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/#collapse7227d 

I'll be honest mate, this whole situation is really stressing me out. I'm not so much worried about catching it because I'd probably be ok and just have mild symptoms although you can't be sure.

 

But I'm worried about my family, my wife on the front line in hospital and the undoubted pressure she will be under. Stressed about my own job and what will happen with that and worried about the wider implications on the economy and society which affect us all.

 

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1 hour ago, stripeyfox said:

I'll be honest mate, this whole situation is really stressing me out. I'm not so much worried about catching it because I'd probably be ok and just have mild symptoms although you can't be sure.

 

But I'm worried about my family, my wife on the front line in hospital and the undoubted pressure she will be under. Stressed about my own job and what will happen with that and worried about the wider implications on the economy and society which affect us all.

 

I know what you mean about worrying about family, cautious about bringing my son to see my dad because he's had a few health problems in the last couple of years etc. 

 

Regarding your wife, if any good can come of this, hopefully the NHS and it's staff will be more appreciated.

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26 minutes ago, deejdeej said:

I know what you mean about worrying about family, cautious about bringing my son to see my dad because he's had a few health problems in the last couple of years etc. 

 

Regarding your wife, if any good can come of this, hopefully the NHS and it's staff will be more appreciated.

When this is over, the doctors, nurses and other hospital staff should get a ticker tape parade down The Mall. 

 

In fact the country is going to need every hero it can get. Everyone who has a job in keeping us safe and in maintaining supplies and key infrastructure is going to have a big role to play in seeing us through the turbulent weeks ahead. 

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1 hour ago, shanetko said:

Tim Sherwood can explain my present feelings better than I can:

 

Don't know you, but have a feeling you're certainly better than the person you've mentioned.

Not arrogant and think he's better than anyone else etc.

-

Everyone can have low feelings, very much so; it's just the case of trying to understand it, and finding of ways, mentally, to try to work towards a positive route out of that feeling/situation you're perhaps in now.

 

Easier said, I'd agree, but it can very much work.

 

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Struggling at the moment. With everything going on and thinking of perhaps a period of lockdown in the offing the overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia is doing my head in. I woke in the night in a strange panic and had to go for a walk just to calm down. Always thought that I'd love to work from home but now that is seemingly becoming more likely it's made me actually want to go to work.

 

Both parents in their 70s with my dad not especially in great health. They live for watching football and seeing their grandkids. They're already at their wits end, can't imagine what it will do to their mental health should they have to be stuck in for several months. I know it's a precaution to protect them but it will be torture.

 

Just been out for an aimless drive for a couple of hours to try and clear my head but it hasn't really worked.

 

 

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People with OCD could be facing an even bigger nightmare in their lives than before, now that corona virus has emerged. Obsessions about germs and hand-washing will go into overdrive. As someone with both these issues, I've had all sorts of crazy plans to try to cope. One wholly unrealistic idea was to buy an ocean-going yacht, and to stay out at sea for the next 12 months. Another was to move to Antarctica! 

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23 hours ago, Wymsey said:

Don't know you, but have a feeling you're certainly better than the person you've mentioned.

Not arrogant and think he's better than anyone else etc.

-

Everyone can have low feelings, very much so; it's just the case of trying to understand it, and finding of ways, mentally, to try to work towards a positive route out of that feeling/situation you're perhaps in now.

 

Easier said, I'd agree, but it can very much work.

 

Become completely obsessed with death/mortality lately... namely my parents. Since the Virus became widespread this has increased 10 fold.

I’ve been clinically depressed for decades but looking at a very lengthy spell without earning now and being irrationally terrified of people dying is making the stress even worse.

Very self indulgent of me to moan about my life on the internet I know but not many other outlets to burden.
Millions of people have it far worse.

Music and Football manager have been my escape in the past few days. 
I still have a large number of Prozac pills from when I was last taking it. Probably wouldn’t be wise to prescribe myself again.

I’ve had the flu myself lately so isolating as precaution so getting to doctors about how mental I am isn’t possible.

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Guest Markyblue
21 hours ago, shanetko said:

Become completely obsessed with death/mortality lately... namely my parents. Since the Virus became widespread this has increased 10 fold.

I’ve been clinically depressed for decades but looking at a very lengthy spell without earning now and being irrationally terrified of people dying is making the stress even worse.

Very self indulgent of me to moan about my life on the internet I know but not many other outlets to burden.
Millions of people have it far worse.

Music and Football manager have been my escape in the past few days. 
I still have a large number of Prozac pills from when I was last taking it. Probably wouldn’t be wise to prescribe myself again.

I’ve had the flu myself lately so isolating as precaution so getting to doctors about how mental I am isn’t possible.

Carry on with your music , relax as much as possible,  even with the worst case scenarios the vast majority of people will be fine, wait for factual news avoid random internet ramblings,  stay safe and be positive this will pass and good luck.

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Weirdly, I feel good at the minute. I hope this doesn't come across as uncaring - obviously a lot of people are in danger and this is extremely serious for us all. I send my best wishes to everyone and your family.

 

But on the other, extremely selfish hand, probably because I was already on an upswing in the last couple of weeks, I feel quite good.

 

I almost feel justified for having an unorthodox, rock bottom and chaotic life at the minute, because the virus has affected everyone else's way of life and I don't feel the social pressure at the minute.

 

Productivity has actually taken an upswing. Except for when I'm rambling on this thread.

 

Anyway, stay safe everyone. x

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How quickly things can change. In less than a fortnight, I've gone from thinking about where City would finish to something far more serious. Anxiety levels are now off the scale, with no known end in sight. Suddenly, all my usual interests seem totally unimportant. Has anyone else had a similar reaction?

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16 hours ago, String fellow said:

How quickly things can change. In less than a fortnight, I've gone from thinking about where City would finish to something far more serious. Anxiety levels are now off the scale, with no known end in sight. Suddenly, all my usual interests seem totally unimportant. Has anyone else had a similar reaction?

Sorry to hear that mate. Is it the virus itself that worries you? Or the impact it will have financially? Someone close to you affected?

Lots of serious concerns out there for millions right now. Totally understandable to have major anxiety.

I’m going to try to stay informed over the next few days with the news once a day but not going to be delving too deeply because I was turning into a wannabe expert in science and disease control and getting me way too annoyed and concerned. 
Try and take precautionary steps where possible. Follow the guidance. Try and find a calming place through your interests (other than Football :().

 

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Hi buddy, thank you for your reply. The virus itself is the overriding concern and the reality that a close family member would almost certainly not get through it and maybe suffer greatly before the end came. We are fortunate not to have financial considerations to worry about. It's just the awful threat posed by the invisible enemy that's causing acute anxiety. I'm taking extreme precautions, but trying to maintain them in the longer term will be almost impossible. In such dire situations like this, terrible thoughts can rear their ugly heads.    

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I don’t wanna complain as I appreciate that there are people in much worse situations than I am but wow this in crazy. My mum died shockingly just before Christmas then feb this year my dad gets cancer. Mine and my missus holiday to nyc gets cancelled which should’ve been on Monday. And now I can’t ****ing buy toilet roll. 

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