Depression

[Pinkman]

On 01/01/2024 at 05:33, MPH said:

So this thread was started back in 2016 by a guy called @Pinkman. I doubt he still lurks around these parts, but if you see this, fella it would be great to get an update with how you are doing these days!

Hi @MPH, v nice of you to ask this. I'm doing ok thanks - hanging on in there! Since this thread, I've had my up's and down's but for anyone out there struggling, it's important to know that you're certainly not alone. If you feel like you're battling demons, talk to partner/friends/family, if you don't feel comfortable doing that then Samaritans are brilliant, you can always call/text them 24/7, 7 days a week. To phone Samaritans it's 116 123 and to message, text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

 

I've had a little browse through this topic and it's so refreshing how understanding and supportive everyone has been to each other's issues. It can certainly be daunting and difficult to know what to do when you're feeling like this. Speaking personally, cutting off alcohol/drugs is the best solution, it's effectively poison for your mind and body. Keeping fit physically does you plenty of good, getting into that routine of going to the gym/running a few times a week has so many mental benefits too. If that's not your thing then go for regular daily walks. Eating well - lots of fruit/veg, and getting into a habit of sleeping better, going to bed earlier etc.

[MPH]

1 hour ago, Pinkman said:

Hi @MPH, v nice of you to ask this. I'm doing ok thanks - hanging on in there! Since this thread, I've had my up's and down's but for anyone out there struggling, it's important to know that you're certainly not alone. If you feel like you're battling demons, talk to partner/friends/family, if you don't feel comfortable doing that then Samaritans are brilliant, you can always call/text them 24/7, 7 days a week. To phone Samaritans it's 116 123 and to message, text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

 

I've had a little browse through this topic and it's so refreshing how understanding and supportive everyone has been to each other's issues. It can certainly be daunting and difficult to know what to do when you're feeling like this. Speaking personally, cutting off alcohol/drugs is the best solution, it's effectively poison for your mind and body. Keeping fit physically does you plenty of good, getting into that routine of going to the gym/running a few times a week has so many mental benefits too. If that's not your thing then go for regular daily walks. Eating well - lots of fruit/veg, and getting into a habit of sleeping better, going to bed earlier etc.

 

 

I really appreciate you replying and im glad to hear than you are doing ok!... I wonder if when starting this thread you realized just how many people you would be helping/ connecting 

[String fellow]

Blue Monday, the third Monday in January, is officially the most depressing day of the year. Really? If that's the case, I'd say that today comes a very close second. 

[Trav Le Bleu]

32 minutes ago, String fellow said:

Blue Monday, the third Monday in January, is officially the most depressing day of the year. Really? If that's the case, I'd say that today comes a very close second. 

I think that's just because people assume that money is everything. I'd guess the point that you pay your first credit card bill after Christmas is the time of year when most people have the least money.

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 hour ago, Pinkman said:

Hi @MPH, v nice of you to ask this. I'm doing ok thanks - hanging on in there! Since this thread, I've had my up's and down's but for anyone out there struggling, it's important to know that you're certainly not alone. If you feel like you're battling demons, talk to partner/friends/family, if you don't feel comfortable doing that then Samaritans are brilliant, you can always call/text them 24/7, 7 days a week. To phone Samaritans it's 116 123 and to message, text 'SHOUT' to 85258.

 

I've had a little browse through this topic and it's so refreshing how understanding and supportive everyone has been to each other's issues. It can certainly be daunting and difficult to know what to do when you're feeling like this. Speaking personally, cutting off alcohol/drugs is the best solution, it's effectively poison for your mind and body. Keeping fit physically does you plenty of good, getting into that routine of going to the gym/running a few times a week has so many mental benefits too. If that's not your thing then go for regular daily walks. Eating well - lots of fruit/veg, and getting into a habit of sleeping better, going to bed earlier etc.

Very, very good advice there at the end. Glad you're battling through!

[MPH]

2 hours ago, String fellow said:

Blue Monday, the third Monday in January, is officially the most depressing day of the year. Really? If that's the case, I'd say that today comes a very close second. 

 

 

Hope you are doing ok, fella?

[String fellow]

5 hours ago, MPH said:

 

 

Hope you are doing ok, fella?

Not great, if truth be told. Last year, my life changed for ever following the passing of someone who'd been my rock throughout life. The festive period felt rather empty as a result, and now that's over, there's not much to look forward to.

[HighPeakFox]

3 minutes ago, String fellow said:

Not great, if truth be told. Last year, my life changed for ever following the passing of someone who'd been my rock throughout life. The festive period felt rather empty as a result, and now that's over, there's not much to look forward to.

Take each day at a time, break it down into hours or less if you need to.... try to do small things for yourself, one at a time, and remember that one kindness is enough.

[MPH]

28 minutes ago, String fellow said:

Not great, if truth be told. Last year, my life changed for ever following the passing of someone who'd been my rock throughout life. The festive period felt rather empty as a result, and now that's over, there's not much to look forward to.

I’m not sure there are any words I can say to ease your pain. I’m so sorry. I do know however that the biggest tribute you could pay to this person is to try and make it. I mean, if there were  2-3 sentences they could say to you right now, what do you think it would be?

[String fellow]

13 hours ago, MPH said:

I’m not sure there are any words I can say to ease your pain. I’m so sorry. I do know however that the biggest tribute you could pay to this person is to try and make it. I mean, if there were  2-3 sentences they could say to you right now, what do you think it would be?

I'm fairly sure that they'd be saying things like: Pull yourself together; Life moves on and you'll have to adjust to being on your own; You don't have to worry about me anymore.

Of course, all that makes perfect sense, but it's not easy to do. 

[MPH]

27 minutes ago, String fellow said:

I'm fairly sure that they'd be saying things like: Pull yourself together; Life moves on and you'll have to adjust to being on your own; You don't have to worry about me anymore.

Of course, all that makes perfect sense, but it's not easy to do. 

 

 

Definitely easier said than done. and everyone's journey is different and we progress/change at different rates and levels. Maybe just use those words as motivation on the really dark days and find your way through it at your own pace, i guess.

[HighPeakFox]

39 minutes ago, String fellow said:

I'm fairly sure that they'd be saying things like: Pull yourself together; Life moves on and you'll have to adjust to being on your own; You don't have to worry about me anymore.

Of course, all that makes perfect sense, but it's not easy to do. 

Because of the way my life has panned out, I've not yet had to suffer the loss of a, or the, significant other. It must have been devastating for you.

 

Take your time, breathe, and be as gentle with yourself as you can be. Lots of people here are also available for a DM should you need it, as well as the known avenues of help such as grief counselling, Samaritans and so on that I am sure you know about.

[Trav Le Bleu]

17 hours ago, String fellow said:

Not great, if truth be told. Last year, my life changed for ever following the passing of someone who'd been my rock throughout life. The festive period felt rather empty as a result, and now that's over, there's not much to look forward to.

If you can, try and find someone that you can a rock for. It would be a fitting tribute, a passing of the mantle and, in general, helping others makes you feel good too.

 

As High Peak says, doesn't have to be anything big or grand (you don't need to run the London marathon and raise £100,000 for charity), just a little bit at a time. 

 

A little love goes a long way and there's more joy in giving than there is in receiving. I avoided this thread for a long time cos I thought it would make me feel more depressed but I've found two things, actually three.

 

1). Everyone has their own problems and you're not the only one going through a dark time.

 

2). Trying to post up building and positive comments to help others makes you feel good!

 

3). There's lots of lovely fellow Leicester fans willing to give you a hearing ear.

 

Hope 2024 turns around for you. People put a lot of emphasis on this "new year", but at the end of the day (sic) each day is it's own new day. Things like new year are just labels. 

 

I really like this from the Sermon on the Mount (slightly paraphrased, though of course there's various translations), "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have it's own problems." Which is to say, sort out what you know (what's happening now) but don't worry what might happen (tomorrow) cos you can't possibly know what it may be. Could be something fantastic, who knows?

 

In a few more months Leicester City will probably become the outright holders of Most 2nd Tier Champion Titles, which we currently jointly hold with Man City (how did they ever surpass us?)

 

Take care and enjoy the football and remember... at least you don't work for Royal Mail!

[Tommy G]

I'm not a sufferer of depression but I suggest anyone feeling low should read Atomic Habits by James Clear. Really changes your thinking and outlook on whats achieveable with small changes to your habits, and talks about systems and how to achieve. Such a good read.

[Lionator]

Nice article on Luke Humphries who won the darts yesterday and overcoming/living with mental health difficulties. https://inews.co.uk/sport/darts-luke-humphries-anxiety-boredom-depression-2838576

[Trav Le Bleu]

11 minutes ago, Lionator said:

Nice article on Luke Humphries who won the darts yesterday and overcoming/living with mental health difficulties. https://inews.co.uk/sport/darts-luke-humphries-anxiety-boredom-depression-2838576

I'd be depressed if I'd just won a world title and all everyone was talking about was the person I just beat and how good he is.

[ajthefox]

I went to Andy's Man Club on Monday night. 

 

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

I'd thought about going before and sacked it off a couple times but I'm very glad I went.

I found it incredibly refreshing to be in a group of men of all ages, taking the time out for themselves and each other, to talk and to listen about what one another have/are going through.  

There's no pressure to talk if you don't know what to say or how to start, but the space is there if you need it. 

 

I will be going back and would highly recommend it to any gents struggling.

[MPH]

32 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

I went to Andy's Man Club on Monday night. 

 

https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

I'd thought about going before and sacked it off a couple times but I'm very glad I went.

I found it incredibly refreshing to be in a group of men of all ages, taking the time out for themselves and each other, to talk and to listen about what one another have/are going through.  

There's no pressure to talk if you don't know what to say or how to start, but the space is there if you need it. 

 

I will be going back and would highly recommend it to any gents struggling.

 

 

What a fantastic thing!

 

People can say till the cows come home that ' you are not alone' or ' i know how you feel' but  i bet its worth its weight in gold to  actually hear those words from someone who literally struggles like you do and you know they do because you've heard it from their own mouth...

[bmt]

On 04/01/2024 at 21:22, Lionator said:

Nice article on Luke Humphries who won the darts yesterday and overcoming/living with mental health difficulties. https://inews.co.uk/sport/darts-luke-humphries-anxiety-boredom-depression-2838576

This is a good article and I'm glad he's doing well. I do think there's still a quite troubling (for lack of a better word) pairing of being okay/performing well in how he frames things though. So far it's that he can perform better if he's mentally in a decent place but I wonder what the flipside of that is if/when he goes through a downturn of form.

[Trav Le Bleu]

It's occurred to me that yesterday was Blue Monday, not the excellent song by New Order, but the day they reckon is the most depressing of the year, so I was wondering how everyone is doing?

 

I'm not too bad at the moment, meds are working and I don't have the thing that particularly causes Blue Monday (the Christmas excess catching up with you) affecting me. In fact, as a postie, I'm relieved Christmas is a distant memory. 

 

Having said that, Royal Mail continues to screw me over.

[HighPeakFox]

Term has started calmly and well... relieved to have a quiet January.

 

Sadly, an adult pupil of mine died on Christmas Day, so the funeral next Thursday will be a difficult day.

[Thefox81]

Long term reader of this topic but never put anything in here until now. Ive hit rock bottom i am drinking more and more and the relationship with my partner is as good as done. Even to the point i payed for an escort on thursday as i just wanted no strings attatched sex. Come away feeling horrible. Im on the highest doseage of sertraline (200mg) and highest doseage of zopiclone (7.5mg). I just dont know what to do as we have kids together but we as a couple arent working. Really sorry to bore you with this but just needed to get it off my chest 💙

[Trav Le Bleu]

40 minutes ago, Thefox81 said:

Long term reader of this topic but never put anything in here until now. Ive hit rock bottom i am drinking more and more and the relationship with my partner is as good as done. Even to the point i payed for an escort on thursday as i just wanted no strings attatched sex. Come away feeling horrible. Im on the highest doseage of sertraline (200mg) and highest doseage of zopiclone (7.5mg). I just dont know what to do as we have kids together but we as a couple arent working. Really sorry to bore you with this but just needed to get it off my chest 💙

It's good to talk. Sorry you seem to be in a bit of a hole there . Aside from the tablets, have you done any therapy? What do you think it is that's causing the depression, is it just your relationship, or other factors in play?

 

Too much alcohol won't help, but you know this, you as much as said so and you've said the fling didn't help either. Can I guess that maybe you just want someone to hear you out, a bit of empathy and understanding. We all need that.

 

As I've said before, The Samaritans, they're not just there for the suicidal. Call 116 123, free from any phone, 24/7. You're welcome to DM me too for what it's worth.

 

Have a good night if you can. Don't worry about tomorrow, each day has enough of it's own.

[MPH]

2 hours ago, Thefox81 said:

Long term reader of this topic but never put anything in here until now. Ive hit rock bottom i am drinking more and more and the relationship with my partner is as good as done. Even to the point i payed for an escort on thursday as i just wanted no strings attatched sex. Come away feeling horrible. Im on the highest doseage of sertraline (200mg) and highest doseage of zopiclone (7.5mg). I just dont know what to do as we have kids together but we as a couple arent working. Really sorry to bore you with this but just needed to get it off my chest 💙

 

how much have you talked to your partner about this?

[Guest David Oldfields Gate]

8 hours ago, Thefox81 said:

Long term reader of this topic but never put anything in here until now. Ive hit rock bottom i am drinking more and more and the relationship with my partner is as good as done. Even to the point i payed for an escort on thursday as i just wanted no strings attatched sex. Come away feeling horrible. Im on the highest doseage of sertraline (200mg) and highest doseage of zopiclone (7.5mg). I just dont know what to do as we have kids together but we as a couple arent working. Really sorry to bore you with this but just needed to get it off my chest 💙

Dude, listen....

Stop drinking. Seriously. That's number one.

Secondly, just get back to basics, exercise, healthy food and purpose.

As a parent your only focus should be being there for your kids, work hard for them, provide for them, exist for them, no matter what forms that takes.

Break life down into the simple things.

Clear your head, stay away from social media poison, the deranged news and to relax embrace subjects like the natural kingdom, art and history. I'd be staying well clear of medication too, but that's between you and your GP.

 

 

DM me if you ever need a phone call.