Depression

[Tommy G]

On 07/11/2023 at 09:18, Fosse93 said:

Has anyone here ever been signed off from work for mental health issues?

 

I'm on the verge of booking an appointment with my GP. My workload this year has been insane and I think I've reached complete burnout.

 

Just wondered what the process was like for getting signed off, how did your work take it? I know it's not a healthy mindset but I'm concerned I will be leaving my colleagues in the mud, as without sounding arrogant - no one has my skillset in the team and I'm relied on for a lot of things.

Speak to the Doctor first then to your line manager and HR second. Not ever done it myself but, as in any business, cases comes across my desk which are escalated from HR especially when there is a MH concern. Can't speak for your employer, but any employer should work and support the employee and offer a route back to work after a period of time away. The employer should also be making suitable changes to your workload or job role so the problem doesn't arise again after 6 months. 

 

On a more boring point, the employer would be bonkers to push back unless it wants a tribunal on their hands 12 months down the line, the law is so much on the employee side you will get burnt very quickly if you go to battle with someone who has MH difficulties. 

[MPH]

Hi everyone. Just checking in to see how everyone is doing? I know this time of year can be very stressful and even painful for various reasons!  Your Foxestalk homies  want to make sure you are all ok!

[HighPeakFox]

6 hours ago, MPH said:

Hi everyone. Just checking in to see how everyone is doing? I know this time of year can be very stressful and even painful for various reasons!  Your Foxestalk homies  want to make sure you are all ok!

I'm functioning but I know I'm dealing with a lot alongside my own personal patterns - both my parents seem to have very much begun the end of their lives, if that makes sense, and I am beginning to grieve them both before their minds go - I never thought I'd care about it but I find their slow demise very difficult.

[MPH]

2 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

I'm functioning but I know I'm dealing with a lot alongside my own personal patterns - both my parents seem to have very much begun the end of their lives, if that makes sense, and I am beginning to grieve them both before their minds go - I never thought I'd care about it but I find their slow demise very difficult.

 

i think you’re doing the right thing, though.. grieving now. And it’s good that you get a chance to grieve before they go.. I don’t know how I’d manage if one of my parents  had a heart attack or went suddenly….  You’ve got an opportunity to say all the things you want to say and not have any regrets about wishing you had a chance to say this or that, if you get what I mean..

[HighPeakFox]

5 minutes ago, MPH said:

i think you’re doing the right thing, though.. grieving now. And it’s good that you get a chance to grieve before they go.. I don’t know how I’d manage if one of my parents  had a heart attack or went suddenly….  You’ve got an opportunity to say all the things you want to say and not have any regrets about wishing you had a chance to say this or that, if you get what I mean..

Everything's been said to my Mum - and sadly, I won't get the chance to do the same with Dad.... he's a nice enough guy, we just don't have a true bond, and he really gave me very little to learn or positive influences, one of the reasons my emotional life has never really functioned in a healthy way up until now.

[foxfanazer]

On 06/12/2023 at 13:47, MPH said:

Hi everyone. Just checking in to see how everyone is doing? I know this time of year can be very stressful and even painful for various reasons!  Your Foxestalk homies  want to make sure you are all ok!

For absolutely no obvious reason I'm struggling this week. Got loads to look forward to and can't pinpoint a single thing getting me down but just feel really sluggish and unmotivated. Weird

 

I get irritated with myself more for feeling like this when there's nothing wrong. Like I'm having an internal fight with myself where the rational side is asking what's wrong, the depression side is saying 'i don't know' so the rational side wants to tell it to piss off then

Edited 8 December 2023 by foxfanazer

[orangecity23]

4 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

For absolutely no obvious reason I'm struggling this week. Got loads to look forward to and can't pinpoint a single thing getting me down but just feel really sluggish and unmotivated. Weird

 

I get irritated with myself more for feeling like this when there's nothing wrong. Like I'm having an internal fight with myself where the rational side is asking what's wrong, the depression side is saying 'i don't know' so the rational side wants to tell it to piss off then

Maybe don't be so harsh on yourself, there can be natural rational reasons for being a bit down this time of year - lack of sunlight, cold weather, just being a bit burnt out from not having a break from work for a few months. I don't think it's a coincidence that so many different festivals from different cultures like Christmas and others happen at this time of year - because people found they needed something to help them get through a winter.

[MPH]

6 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

For absolutely no obvious reason I'm struggling this week. Got loads to look forward to and can't pinpoint a single thing getting me down but just feel really sluggish and unmotivated. Weird

 

I get irritated with myself more for feeling like this when there's nothing wrong. Like I'm having an internal fight with myself where the rational side is asking what's wrong, the depression side is saying 'i don't know' so the rational side wants to tell it to piss off then

 

 

That does sound like a classic case of there being some kind of imbalance within your hormones/ chemicals. and  that is often how depression/ anxiety and even being overwhelmed can be. Rest assured that its not you and not based around how 'badly' you are dealing with things or how badly you are reacting to things. Try your absolute best to stay positive.. pull out  your favorite albums, get your favoite drink!  Stay strong, my friend!

[foxfanazer]

5 minutes ago, MPH said:

 

 

That does sound like a classic case of there being some kind of imbalance within your hormones/ chemicals. and  that is often how depression/ anxiety and even being overwhelmed can be. Rest assured that its not you and not based around how 'badly' you are dealing with things or how badly you are reacting to things. Try your absolute best to stay positive.. pull out  your favorite albums, get your favoite drink!  Stay strong, my friend!

Yeah think you might be right. I've booked tickets to go and see Bloc Party in July and already I feel a bit better. Works been pretty relentless recently so burnout could be a factor. 

 

Thanks for the post mate 

[Fox in the North]

Not one to post here as normally I’d like to think I’ve got good mental health, but had such a battering with my current workload and with all the things that come with fostering my nephews I feel like I’m getting to a limit. 

[MPH]

50 minutes ago, Fox in the North said:

Not one to post here as normally I’d like to think I’ve got good mental health, but had such a battering with my current workload and with all the things that come with fostering my nephews I feel like I’m getting to a limit. 

 

we have been involved with fostering some kids and it can be very draining. Plus it sounds like work  is draining you too. That’s a lot of draining!

 

every time I go on a flight they do the safety instructions. They all talk about when the air pressure is low a mask will fall down. Quite often they say that you have to make sure you put your own mask on first before you help anyone else. You’ll be no good help to anyone else if you pass out because of not having a mask.

 

its the same in every day life. If you can mate, have a real good think about maybe getting a way for a night or two with a special someone.. or get some concert tickets to a band you’ve always wanted to… plan a night out with friends or that special someone. Just something for you. It might not take the stress out of work or fostering but it could help charge your batteries which helps with coping mechanisms for the stress. Having something to look forward to or to talk about in a fond/ funny way can bring a lot more positivity into your mind and can breed some positive thoughts and outlooks.

 

anyway, have a think about it and keep us posted on how you are getting on. We are all ears!

[HighPeakFox]

I'd thought about posting here, and what to say. A classmate from my alma mater has just taken his own life, and I'm aware of others having done so recently. 

 

Please, always reach out, phone someone, send a message, turn up unannounced. 

[ajthefox]

Hope you're doing OK, @HighPeakFox

 

I sometimes come in here and don't really know what to say, but I guess as long we show up that's what matters. 

 

In years gone by I've always had a mixture of feelings over Christmas for a variety of reasons. I love the Christmas period and I think sometimes my expectations and the unintended pressure I put on myself to have a good time ends up leaving me feeling down if something isn't quite as I hoped.

 

That, and I probably get in my head about it all too much as well. Which is something I'm learning to manage but always a challenge. 

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

I took 2 weeks off work recently, just said to my manager I’m signing myself off for the week and thereafter I’ll let you know. Ended up getting a doctors note for a further week. I’ve had severe mental health issues around depression in my past and I’m now in a much better place but I have a family to support now and I could feel the anger and negativity and moodiness creeping back in and it got to a point where I told myself if i don’t do something about this now, take some time off and recharge and regain a bit of stability mentally the repercussions could be huge. I’ll be skint next month but better that than dragging my family through a crisis at Christmas. Just do what’s best for you.

[Parafox]

21 minutes ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

I took 2 weeks off work recently, just said to my manager I’m signing myself off for the week and thereafter I’ll let you know. Ended up getting a doctors note for a further week. I’ve had severe mental health issues around depression in my past and I’m now in a much better place but I have a family to support now and I could feel the anger and negativity and moodiness creeping back in and it got to a point where I told myself if i don’t do something about this now, take some time off and recharge and regain a bit of stability mentally the repercussions could be huge. I’ll be skint next month but better that than dragging my family through a crisis at Christmas. Just do what’s best for you.

 

Your last sentence is spot on. Even if it means taking a break of some sort from the pressures of a newish (I assume) family to consider which brings it's own previously unknown demands on time, emotions, thoughts, sleep. 

 

I do believe that there's a male equivalent of post-natal depression. I remember when we adopted our 2 how difficult I felt it. Even though we had months to prepare as any parent does. But the sense of my life and routine being lost was difficult to bear.

 

Making time for yourself and finding something that can fulfil your mind and soul is very important as I'm sure you already know.

 

You have clearly recognised the signs and taken action to prevent and avoid the potential effects on you and those close to you which is a positive and shows how far you have come to now be, as you say, in a much better place.

 

Mental ill health is a long term, often life long challenge and recognising that you have made significant steps to manage it gives you the wherewithal to handle it the best you can.

 

Best wishes. Stay strong.

 

 

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

4 minutes ago, Parafox said:

 

Your last sentence is spot on. Even if it means taking a break of some sort from the pressures of a newish (I assume) family to consider which brings it's own previously unknown demands on time, emotions, thoughts, sleep. 

 

I do believe that there's a male equivalent of post-natal depression. I remember when we adopted our 2 how difficult I felt it. Even though we had months to prepare as any parent does. But the sense of my life and routine being lost was difficult to bear.

 

Making time for yourself and finding something that can fulfil your mind and soul is very important as I'm sure you already know.

 

You have clearly recognised the signs and taken action to prevent and avoid the potential effects on you and those close to you which is a positive and shows how far you have come to now be, as you say, in a much better place.

 

Mental ill health is a long term, often life long challenge and recognising that you have made significant steps to manage it gives you the wherewithal to handle it the best you can.

 

Best wishes. Stay strong.

 

 

Spot on and thanks. The way I looked at it, recognising the signs in myself, if I didn’t take them 2 weeks off the alternative was just to power through (as I had already been doing for too long) and probably lose my job due to being unable to do it or have a breakdown, so take the breather, reset and then be much better prepared to cope with the ongoing stresses of life. It’s never easy but if I don’t help myself it’s a hell of a lot harder.

[Parafox]

2 minutes ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Spot on and thanks. The way I looked at it, recognising the signs in myself, if I didn’t take them 2 weeks off the alternative was just to power through (as I had already been doing for too long) and probably lose my job due to being unable to do it or have a breakdown, so take the breather, reset and then be much better prepared to cope with the ongoing stresses of life. It’s never easy but if I don’t help myself it’s a hell of a lot harder.

 

You're clearly a strong character with a clear understanding of what is best for you.

 

It takes a brave person to accept and tackle issues in their life.

 

It would be so easy to bleat "poor me" and give up any responsibility for one's own life and let someone else carry the can.

 

Those that don't make the most of what is positive when it happens can easily fall back to the negatives. 

[Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot]

To contradict myself and add a bit of context. I’m in my mid 30s now and spent the entirety of my 20s on medication. I was unemployed for large portions of it, I spiralled out of control with substances and self loathing over and over again and at my lowest I was absolutely certain things would never ever get better, I attempted suicide once but was what I would consider suicidal sometimes for months if not years at a time. I’ve been off medication for 6 years now, I have a nice house, wonderful partner, 2 gorgeous and enlightening children and when I said things are never easy if I think about it that’s not true. Sometimes things are unbelievably hard but other times, sometimes for months at a time, I am legitimately happy and life is really easy, it’s nice it’s enjoyable. I can’t guarantee what tomorrow and beyond will bring and I know I will have difficult times in my life moving forward because life throws all sorts of nonsense at you. But what I would say to anyone who is feeling low or on the edge, especially at this time of year who is a young male, if you just cling on things do get better, and things do turn around.

[Wymsey]

As a volunteer emotional support call-taker, there have recentlg been an awful lot of calls from those dealing with family arguments and even on occasion lack of support from managers to those who are struggling mental health at work.

 

If only others could understand how others (those they are interacting with) are feeling and actually have more understanding/empathy.

 

Can't imagine how people, those with no support network etc., cope with any issues they're facing but really want help but are reluctant to or feel ignored by others about their feelings.

 

P.S. Feel free to PM if anyone wants a confidential chat about any issues affecting them, should you wish - of course.

 

A few genuine posters have offered such a gesture; this is a very positive open thread about matters which can be sensitive to some.

Edited 22 December 2023 by Wymsey

[UniFox21]

1 hour ago, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

I took 2 weeks off work recently, just said to my manager I’m signing myself off for the week and thereafter I’ll let you know. Ended up getting a doctors note for a further week. I’ve had severe mental health issues around depression in my past and I’m now in a much better place but I have a family to support now and I could feel the anger and negativity and moodiness creeping back in and it got to a point where I told myself if i don’t do something about this now, take some time off and recharge and regain a bit of stability mentally the repercussions could be huge. I’ll be skint next month but better that than dragging my family through a crisis at Christmas. Just do what’s best for you.

Hope these couple of weeks have helped you mate. 

 

Couldn't agree more with what you've said, we become so focused on working and working to live, that we do lose sight of looking after ourselves. Especially when we all have so much going on, a week or two without the burden of work can be so helpful. 

 

Edit: My mum did a similar thing a few years back, got signed off for a week and the break really helped her.

Her boss is so understanding, that when she does feel herself struggling she drops down her shifts to regain that balance. Really proud with how she does it, unsure I'd be able to ask for help or the break myself.

Edited 22 December 2023 by UniFox21

[UniFox21]

Hope we're all keeping well here.

 

Try to take a moment, a day, an hour for yourselves in the coming weeks. Christmas is so much about sorting things for others/family/friends that we can forget about what we need ourselves.

 

Found myself a bit overwhelmed lately with  house moves, car breaking again and the general Christmas rush. 

 

Edited 22 December 2023 by UniFox21

[HighPeakFox]

I'm not afraid to tell you all that I have taken the decision to spend Christmas alone. It's best for me as things stand in my life and within my family now - I'm trying to be considerate of my needs and all of theirs too. 

[MPH]

34 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

I'm not afraid to tell you all that I have taken the decision to spend Christmas alone. It's best for me as things stand in my life and within my family now - I'm trying to be considerate of my needs and all of theirs too. 

 

anything you hear in here is just advice. No one knows your situation better than you. We just want you to be ok so whatever is best for you is what we want!

[ajthefox]

I need some help.

[nathan.]

44 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

I need some help.

I have been struggling as well mate.

 

Keep your chin up.