Depression

[SeCrEt FoX]

1 hour ago, TeamRocket said:

How does one know if they are depressed or just sad & feeling low?  Asking cos my wife says am depressed I say am not just feel really low. Like I still do stuff but it hard to do stuff like go to work etc I do most things cos I feel I should/need to be doing it not cos I want. Like I have moved to a new job but in honest I hate every minute of it hate going in, hate being there and it make me feel really low but I wouldn't say am depressed but like i said my wife thinks I am and say am not really there sometimes and my mood has Changed and not as fun anymore  and have lost interest  in everything like watching snooker, football playing video games etc. But I say I just don't have time for it anymore. I dunno but  that's why I ask how does someone know that they are depressed and not just sad or down 

I felt like that especially with work, that's when it's time for a change. Try and find something you might enjoy or good at. I completely changed my trade (knees are not so great too so needed to really) and was determined to do good. I actually love work most days as we all have bad days but I never thought I ever would actually enjoy what I do. 

 

I also lost interest in similar things but you just have to push yourself to do things and whether it is video games or even meeting an old friend for a beer etc you actually wonder why you didn't do it sooner. 

 

To help me get back into things I thought of a mini bucket list, things that are easy to achieve then start making things harder. I impressed myself and it feels good.

 

Also make plans at weekends, whether it's taking the other half for food and drinks or cinema. Even if it's once a month it gives you something to look forward to.

 

 

 

Time waits for noone.

 

[TeamRocket]

5 hours ago, SeCrEt FoX said:

I felt like that especially with work, that's when it's time for a change. Try and find something you might enjoy or good at. I completely changed my trade (knees are not so great too so needed to really) and was determined to do good. I actually love work most days as we all have bad days but I never thought I ever would actually enjoy what I do. 

 

I also lost interest in similar things but you just have to push yourself to do things and whether it is video games or even meeting an old friend for a beer etc you actually wonder why you didn't do it sooner. 

 

To help me get back into things I thought of a mini bucket list, things that are easy to achieve then start making things harder. I impressed myself and it feels good.

 

Also make plans at weekends, whether it's taking the other half for food and drinks or cinema. Even if it's once a month it gives you something to look forward to.

 

 

 

Time waits for noone.

 

Thanks I am trying to find summit new but feel its really hard as most places only offer part time & fully flexible hours so that makes it hard to find a 2nd job and about taking the wifey out I just find it hard to do so as they make me do lates that have to start early next day and then I get to tiered so end up sleeping soon as I get home. I do try to do summit when we both have the same days off but if am honest I just feel like what's that point need to rest until I need to go back in to work

[Daggers]

9 hours ago, TeamRocket said:

How does one know if they are depressed or just sad & feeling low?  Asking cos my wife says am depressed I say am not just feel really low. Like I still do stuff but it hard to do stuff like go to work etc I do most things cos I feel I should/need to be doing it not cos I want. Like I have moved to a new job but in honest I hate every minute of it hate going in, hate being there and it make me feel really low but I wouldn't say am depressed but like i said my wife thinks I am and say am not really there sometimes and my mood has Changed and not as fun anymore  and have lost interest  in everything like watching snooker, football playing video games etc. But I say I just don't have time for it anymore. I dunno but  that's why I ask how does someone know that they are depressed and not just sad or down 

https://patient.info/doctor/patient-health-questionnaire-phq-9
 

Obs, you’d be better off doing this with your GP…and I suggest you go see them for a chat once you’ve done this online form. 

[Langston]

On 14/09/2023 at 17:37, FoxesDeb said:

It's completely the right thread, and I've found it beneficial, but I know others who haven't. If I've learned anything through my depression journey it's that what works for some doesn't for others, it's all about finding what helps you. 

 

12 hours ago, Bordersfox said:

Sorry for a very delayed response.  Yes, I've used headspace in the past and found it very helpful.  I'm sure I'll use it again in the future, and really should use it all the time but it's easy to fall out of good habits. 

 

I don't have any personal experience of serious (by serious I suppose I mean requiring medical intervention but realise 'serious' can mean different things to different people) mental illness but I have found during period of heightened stress or anxiety meditation via the app is great.  

 

If you want any more info on the app feel free to DM me. 

 

13 hours ago, kyleolly said:

I’ve used it for years and recommend it to clients who suffer with anxiety and panic attacks

 

Thanks all! We get a free account through work and I'm enjoying going through it, especially at night time when I can't nod off.

[Bordersfox]

5 minutes ago, Langston said:

 

 

 

Thanks all! We get a free account through work and I'm enjoying going through it, especially at night time when I can't nod off.

I found the noting techniques really helpful.  It's incredible, I realised after using it, how often I live inside my mind rather than in the present and noting helps to bring me back to planet earth! 

[casablancas]

On 14/09/2023 at 16:57, Langston said:

Apologies if this isn't the appropriate thread for it, but has anybody had any experience of Headspace? 

I work in mental health. I recommend this to a lot of patients. Key thing is you have to practise regularly and don’t expect miracles overnight sadly. But I’m a huge fan professionally and a lot of the evidence base is top tier. 

[String fellow]

28 minutes ago, Bordersfox said:

I found the noting techniques really helpful.  It's incredible, I realised after using it, how often I live inside my mind rather than in the present and noting helps to bring me back to planet earth! 

A couple of other things I recommend. Firstly, at the end of each day, note down on paper (or mentally) the various jobs done successfully during that day, no matter how minor they were. This provides a sense of well-being and a feeling that the day just gone wasn't entirely wasted. Secondly, in order to have something to look forward to, indulge in a bit of deferred retail therapy, by ordering something online, but with a longish delivery time. I often order something fairly small from Amazon, and deliberately go for the longest delivery time, not to save money but to extend the period of anticipation as long as possible. 

[casablancas]

12 hours ago, TeamRocket said:

How does one know if they are depressed or just sad & feeling low?  Asking cos my wife says am depressed I say am not just feel really low. Like I still do stuff but it hard to do stuff like go to work etc I do most things cos I feel I should/need to be doing it not cos I want. Like I have moved to a new job but in honest I hate every minute of it hate going in, hate being there and it make me feel really low but I wouldn't say am depressed but like i said my wife thinks I am and say am not really there sometimes and my mood has Changed and not as fun anymore  and have lost interest  in everything like watching snooker, football playing video games etc. But I say I just don't have time for it anymore. I dunno but  that's why I ask how does someone know that they are depressed and not just sad or down 

Don’t over think the results of assessments like the phq9 or gad, they are quite subjective day to day. I value the objective side more… what pts present with, how they present and the impact of symptoms. I always try and focus on symptoms rather than a diagnosis personally. I’d advise to book in at your surgery and try and speak to a mental health practitioner rather than a gp. You’ll hopefully get more out of it, learn more and get the right help. Gp’s tend to just throw out pills and often without a follow up which isn’t great practice. Due to my role I rarely visit this thread - maybe it’s something I need to think about revisiting. I’d also advocate local male support grps, there’s a few I use locally such as things like football therapy - not sure what they have in your locality but again a good MHP should know. Pm if you need to

[FoxesDeb]

On 22/09/2023 at 21:36, HighPeakFox said:

Thank you @urban.spaceman, @Wymsey, @SeCrEt FoX @ajthefox.... very thoughtful of you all. I'm as mentally well prepared for a big play as I ever have been. I've learnt a lot about managing nerves, adrenaline and not cramming at the last minute since 2019. Lots of lovely friends and family will be there tomorrow - it's a 30 year ambition finally to be realised.

 

For those that are interested, I'm the soloist in the 1st Cello Concerto by Shostakovich, and I have an interesting link to the composer. You'll find many great renditions on YouTube - worth checking out Rostropovitch playing it, for whom it was written.

 

Anyone wanting to come can pm me for details.

I hope it went well 

[HighPeakFox]

Success.

 

I wonder now how resumed normality will be.

 

Thank you to all of you who gave me thought recently.

[HighPeakFox]

Just now, FoxesDeb said:

I hope it went well 

Timing  

[urban.spaceman]

Tumultuous week!

 

We lost my dad's oldest friend last december in quite a shocking way. They were best friends of 60+ years and had always promised each other, like 50 years ago, that they'd both be scattered on Kinder Scout and whoever snuffed it first would have to carry the other's ashes. We chose his birthday, which was last week, and because it would give me a chance to lose weight and get fit enough to climb the 300+m of Jacob's Ladder. So far this year I've lost 2st, which would have been more if i hadn't triggered a recurring Achilles injury. To cut a long story short, I made it to the base of Jacob's Ladder, but my Achilles was hurting so much that I knew I wouldn't be able to make it up there and back without being a major hindrance. So I had to sit brokenhearted for two hours in a really beautiful spot next to a stream. When they came down, his 3 sons (who through a mix up had already made the climb) had brought down with them a tiny tupperware pot. They'd decanted some of him for me to say goodbye personally. So I had a really wonderful private goodbye (to what was probably his dodgy hip ) after a very emotional day. So glad it's over as it's been a really tough loss that I don't think I'll get over soon. I've done really well with alcohol since May (after our relegation was confirmed) but I was always going to treat myself to a nice bottle of whisky, but the great thing is, it didn't give me what it used to give me. It didn't comfort me anymore. I don't need it anymore. I'm not going tee-total, because I love a social drink, but I won't be relying on it like I have been the last few years. My mate's helped me get into edibles which have genuinely helped me change things around.

 

Cut to Wednesday when I had to travel down to London for the night to meet my fellow students and do Goldsmiths admin. This has been the cause of enormous stress the last few weeks with extreme anxiety over my ability, over whether this is the right thing, over the cost, over the practicalities, over meeting people, over pretty much everything. It went really well. I'm a bit rusty with hanging around with people again; COVID forced a bit of reclusivity on me and it's taken 3 years to actually get out of the Shire by myself. I had a great day on Thursday, and even bumped into my sister's London-based bestie at St Pancras which was the icing on the cake because he's such a wonderfully kind-hearted person whose presence just makes you feel better about everything. I'm in dodgy accommodation for the night in London ready to start my course formally tomorrow. For the first time in more than a decade I have some self confidence again, some self belief, some faith in my ability to do something really challenging because, without any hint of arrogance, I not only believe that I can do it but I also believe that I actually might be good at this thing. So this is it, I'm going for it. I'm going to ****ing smash it.

 

"Our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them" - Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha

[Wortho]

19 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

Tumultuous week!

 

We lost my dad's oldest friend last december in quite a shocking way. They were best friends of 60+ years and had always promised each other, like 50 years ago, that they'd both be scattered on Kinder Scout and whoever snuffed it first would have to carry the other's ashes. We chose his birthday, which was last week, and because it would give me a chance to lose weight and get fit enough to climb the 300+m of Jacob's Ladder. So far this year I've lost 2st, which would have been more if i hadn't triggered a recurring Achilles injury. To cut a long story short, I made it to the base of Jacob's Ladder, but my Achilles was hurting so much that I knew I wouldn't be able to make it up there and back without being a major hindrance. So I had to sit brokenhearted for two hours in a really beautiful spot next to a stream. When they came down, his 3 sons (who through a mix up had already made the climb) had brought down with them a tiny tupperware pot. They'd decanted some of him for me to say goodbye personally. So I had a really wonderful private goodbye (to what was probably his dodgy hip ) after a very emotional day. So glad it's over as it's been a really tough loss that I don't think I'll get over soon. I've done really well with alcohol since May (after our relegation was confirmed) but I was always going to treat myself to a nice bottle of whisky, but the great thing is, it didn't give me what it used to give me. It didn't comfort me anymore. I don't need it anymore. I'm not going tee-total, because I love a social drink, but I won't be relying on it like I have been the last few years. My mate's helped me get into edibles which have genuinely helped me change things around.

 

Cut to Wednesday when I had to travel down to London for the night to meet my fellow students and do Goldsmiths admin. This has been the cause of enormous stress the last few weeks with extreme anxiety over my ability, over whether this is the right thing, over the cost, over the practicalities, over meeting people, over pretty much everything. It went really well. I'm a bit rusty with hanging around with people again; COVID forced a bit of reclusivity on me and it's taken 3 years to actually get out of the Shire by myself. I had a great day on Thursday, and even bumped into my sister's London-based bestie at St Pancras which was the icing on the cake because he's such a wonderfully kind-hearted person whose presence just makes you feel better about everything. I'm in dodgy accommodation for the night in London ready to start my course formally tomorrow. For the first time in more than a decade I have some self confidence again, some self belief, some faith in my ability to do something really challenging because, without any hint of arrogance, I not only believe that I can do it but I also believe that I actually might be good at this thing. So this is it, I'm going for it. I'm going to ****ing smash it.

 

"Our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them" - Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha

What a lovely story. I sincerely hope everything works out for you and your health improves. I know what it means to lose someone so close.

[HighPeakFox]

3 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

I had to sit brokenhearted for two hours in a really beautiful spot next to a stream. When they came down, his 3 sons (who through a mix up had already made the climb) had brought down with them a tiny tupperware pot. They'd decanted some of him for me to say goodbye personally. So I had a really wonderful private goodbye

I know the very spot - if and when I am next there I will think of you.

[kingfox]

As it’s World Mental Health day, just want to put this number out there.
 

Anybody on this forum in Leicester, Leicestershire & Rutland. 
 

If you’re struggling, give Central Access Point a call 0808 800 3302

 

They’ve been a big help to me on numerous occasions over the past year 🙂

[ElusiveEd]

A brilliant and powerful message from Norwich City.

Not ashamed to say, it got me! ....

 

 

[Daggers]

[filthyfox]

So...

Had an AMAZING 2 weeks.

I am now a fully trained Zoo Licence inspector. Today I inspected a horse riding school.

Am feeling quite chuffed with myself.

I am also feeling happier since adding statins to my medication (a bit weird?)

[urban.spaceman]

1 hour ago, filthyfox said:

So...

Had an AMAZING 2 weeks.

I am now a fully trained Zoo Licence inspector. Today I inspected a horse riding school.

Am feeling quite chuffed with myself.

I am also feeling happier since adding statins to my medication (a bit weird?)

Mate that's amazing. Congratulations!

[bmt]

3 hours ago, filthyfox said:

So...

Had an AMAZING 2 weeks.

I am now a fully trained Zoo Licence inspector. Today I inspected a horse riding school.

Am feeling quite chuffed with myself.

I am also feeling happier since adding statins to my medication (a bit weird?)

That's class. Assuming you've posted in this thread before, but longleat is class for that

[filthyfox]

19 minutes ago, bmt said:

That's class. Assuming you've posted in this thread before, but longleat is class for that

The training was at Marwell.  But I really like Longleat! 

[filthyfox]

I just had to turn down a Level 5 Apprenticeship at work because I don't think I could handle it...  (a free degree???- yes please!)

BUT- it will be there again in the future.

 

A bit gutted, BUT I need to be at the top of my game for that 

[fox_favourite]

13 hours ago, filthyfox said:

I just had to turn down a Level 5 Apprenticeship at work because I don't think I could handle it...  (a free degree???- yes please!)

BUT- it will be there again in the future.

 

A bit gutted, BUT I need to be at the top of my game for that 

I keep looking at something similar, and I do want to. But, like you, I'm not in the right place. Work, along with home life, financial stress etc...is too much and causing me anxiety and stress with sleepless nights, I'm not sure adding to that will help. I'm stuck in a rut at the mo in terms of my mental health and it's horrible when I know it's affecting decisions like this. It'll just not be fair on my kids and wife. 

[filthyfox]

1 hour ago, fox_favourite said:

I keep looking at something similar, and I do want to. But, like you, I'm not in the right place. Work, along with home life, financial stress etc...is too much and causing me anxiety and stress with sleepless nights, I'm not sure adding to that will help. I'm stuck in a rut at the mo in terms of my mental health and it's horrible when I know it's affecting decisions like this. It'll just not be fair on my kids and wife. 

Its ironic that, when I first recognised i was depressed, not having a degree made me feel inadequate

[MPH]

Just checking on all you lovely people to see how you are all doing?

 

 

there’s been some truly heartwarming stories the last few weeks! But we are ok to hear the struggles too!